Let's Go There  A Ziley Story
by luvandwar7
Summary: The story of the two boys' relationship and exploration after the breakup. Fiona/Adam are also very much included!  Rated M, but mostly T through out. If you don't like some chapters, just skip it hun there's plenty more where they came from.
1. Chapter 1

HEY GUYS. I'm super excited to write this fan fic! I used to right them when I was younger but I never continued them! But it won't happen with this one.

The pairing is Riley and Zane 3

AFTER the break up

Rating will be T and maybe M later but not too much

It will be adorable I promise

BTW I know the new episodes came out but I wrote these before I saw them…

Riley was always lying when he said he never felt depressed. His life, at this point, was trashed. He no longer played for the team, his boyfriend looked at him with nothing but contempt and his anger management classes have been of no use to him lately.

So how wasn't he depressed? How could he possibly sit at breakfast every morning and say "I'm fine." And walk out the door just like that? And more importantly, why did everyone buy it? Everyone that is, but Zane.

"Riley!" Riley turned his head to see Anya McPherson walking swiftly towards his locker. He lifted his eyebrows in acknowledgement and turned his back to his locker, waiting to see what "exciting news" she had for him today.

"Sup?" he mumbled.

"I heard that…" Anya paused, searching riley's face for signs of emotion. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine" Riley sighed unconvincingly.

"Good! Um, so you and Zane were uh, pretty close this summer."

"Yeah, were."

" And I don't get why you didn't tell me first…" "Anya, you obviously knew we were dating." Anya rolled her eyes and locked eyes with Riley.

"I know, but I don't like hearing stuff about you through the grape vine I should already know." Riley's eyes shot open at the thought of his and Zane's summer fling being casual dinner conversation.

"Through what grapevine?"

Anya saw the fear in Riley's face and her smile quickly faded. She couldn't understand what he was getting so anxious about.

"Chill out, it's just an expression." She looked sideways and touched riley's shoulder. "Sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, Anya you don't understand. I only told you Peter and Fiona that I'm…"

Anya looked at Riley expectantly and urged him on with her eyes.

"That I'm…Who told you?" Anya rolled her eyes at him and leaned towards him.

"Why thank you, Anya for giving me the courage to ask him out last year-"'

"Anya…"

"You're such a great friend."

"We broke up. But where did you hear this?"

"Wait," Anya began, clearly disturbed by what she had just heard "You guys broke up?" Riley rolled his eyes out of impatience. He only wanted to know if his secret was safe. "You really don't tell me much anymore do you?"

"Anya I need to know!" Riley didn't realize how loudly he was screaming until the entire hallway became silent and Anya backed away from him not out of fear, but out of anger and hurt.

"You really need to consider doubling your anger management classes." Anya turned to walk away but stopped and turned around again. "It was Zane. And now I know why he wants nothing to do with you. You've got to get over it riley."

During the Summer, Anya and Zane had become close friends. He had found out that Anya was the one who encouraged Riley to ask him out and not only was he greatful, but he was curious as to why she took so well to Riley being Gay after they were allegedly dating. Zane found out that Anya had a feeling all along that Riley wasn't exactly "Into" her, and Anya immediately became his go-to girl. Whenever things were messy, spectacular or even sub-par with Riley, he would call anya and recap their entire date. That night however, Anya was quick to call Zane and confront him.

"Hello?"

"Zane!" She practically yelled into the phone, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you…?"

"That you and Riley broke up."

"Anya, I was busy with other things. I was just trying to keep my mind off of it. Football was helping."

"You can't do this. You guys are like perfect together."

"Perfect? I wouldn't say that. Considering he acts like a have a social disease when we're at school."

"Well, he's just…" Anya paused, trying to find the nice words for "ass hole" ".slowwwer than you at accepting himself."

" He's ashamed of me. Ashamed of who he is."

"He's not ashamed of you, Zane. Do you see the way he looks at you? After every date you guys had he would talk to me about how you're 'the most adorable guy he's ever seen.' He said you're loyal and smart-"

"Oh yeah? Well if he wants adorable and loyal he can just buy himself a puppy."

With that Zane hung up. He wasn't mad at Anya, he was mad at how everything was unfolding. He wished that he could just forget about the relationship he and Riley had, or at least talk about it man to man.

Okay! That's the first entry.

NEXT chapter there will be some ZILEY interaction

Smooches


	2. Encounters

Riley felt that there was no reason for him to be at practice anymore. He knew he wouldn't be playing for a while, and no amount of hard work would change that. He also knew that he would have to sit and watch Armstrong run his plays with Drew. And another thing he dreaded : seeing Zane every afternoon and not having the ability to avoid him.

Riley stood next to Owen on the field as Drew ran plays with the offense.

"You're a way better QB than that little bitch." Owen huffed as he removed his helmet. He squinted through the sun and the sweat as he watched Drew throw a long ball into the endzone. "Gotta admit, kids got a good arm though."

Riley shook his head and removed his helmet as well.

"Next thing you know, he'll be replacing me on the team for good." Riley sighed as he took a seat on the bench.

Owen shook his head and turned his attention back to Riley.

"Nah, there's no way." He said before leaning in so that riley could hear his devious whisper "I'll make sure of it".

"Aw, no. No more pranks Owen alright? That's what got me into this mess in the first place." Owen smirked and put his helmet back on his head.

"Who said anything about a prank?". Riley blew out of his nose as Owen jogged towards the field to run the next play.

"You know," said an all too familiar voice. Riley's eyes widened and his back straightened up as he watched Zane sit on the opposite side of the bench. "You should still be out there." He said in that deep, sensual voice that Riley had been longing to hear. "you know, even though you're not playing? Shows coach that you're dedicated-"

"I know. I've played football all my life I know how the game works." Zane looked down at the ground and than back up at Riley In a nonchalant manner.

"Oh I know you know how the game works. But just because you know the game, it doesn't mean you know anything about people, and strategy." Riley looked straight ahead and tried to keep a stoic expression. But he couldn't help it when who he felt was the cutest guy ever had such sadness in his voice.

"You keep benching yourself Riley. You're the reason you're here and not out there. Don't make the same mistake again." Zane rose off of the bench and went to refill his water bottle. Riley gathered up as many of his teammates water bottles as he could to make it seem like he was doing his job as waterboy. He came up behind Zane and leaned into his ear.

"I don't want you to hate me."

Zane looked behind him for a moment and continued to fill his water bottle.

"I don't hate you Riley."

"Well, can we talk then."

"If you put the water bottles down." Riley squinted his eyes and looked sideways out of confusion.

"What do you mean?"

Zane turned around and took a swig out of his water bottle. Riley couldn't help but stare.

"I want you to be comfortable with being seen talking to me. No excuses. I want it to be clear that I'm why you walked over here." With hesitation, Riley dropped the water bottles on the ground. He then grabbed Zane by the sleeve of his Jersey and pulled him toward the bench.

"Zane, I'm not ready to tell the world yet."

"I know." Zane replied, still looking off into the distance as if he had no care in the world.

"But, I haven't been myself without you." Zane didn't reply so Riley continued.

"I…I like you Zane." There was still no reply. And Riley started to become discouraged. "Are you listening to me?"

"Yeah, Riley I know."

"But its like, more than that. Every time I see you I just think of how much I want you."

"We don't need to discuss your teenage urges."

"Why are you being like this? You said yourself that you're okay with the fact that it would take time for me."

"Yeah, that I'm okay with. But you know what I'm not okay with? Being ignored in the hallway, having to walk three paces behind you to class, getting made fun of for being a "fairy" and having my boyfriend just stand there and watch." Riley bowed his head in shame and tried to hold back tears. "That I didn't sign up for. It was not part of the deal."

"Oh," Riley began as Zane stood up and brushed the knee of his uniform. "Didn't know our relationship had set rules Zane."

"It did, and you broke them."


	3. Finally

Zane always showered at home after practice. Personally, showering with the other guys was neither pleasure full or inconvenient for him. The only reason he didn't shower at school was because of the wise cracks he would get from the other guys.

He threw his pads and jersey into his bag and was about to leave, but he couldn't find his shirt.

"Guys, have any of you seen my t-shirt?" One of the guys snickered while the others smirked. "This some kind of joke?"

Owen walked over to his own locker and spoke over his shoulder to Zane. He pursed his lips and put one hand on his hip;

"Like, take a chill pill girlfriend, we didn't take your freaking blouse." The guys were never consistent. One day, they showed him complete respect and the next day they made gay jokes. Zane rolled his eyes and responded back right away

"Of course not, why would you? Unless, you wanted to see me half-naked."

A couple of the guys let out a scoff while most of the others just snickered at Zane's joke. Owen didn't seem to amused and started walking quickly to the other side of the locker room where Zane stood.

"I will kick your fairy ass you little twink-" Zane was well prepared to defend himself, but they were both interrupted.

"Cut it out!" Both Zane and Owen were equally surprised to turn around and find Riley standing at the doorway, water bottles in hand. "Just, cut the guy a break Owen, alright?" Owen looked at Riley at first out of confusion, but then he just smiled devilishly.

"Oh, I see. This your boyfriend?"

"N-No." Riley mumbled hesitantly. It was weird to him because when he said it, he wasn't lying. It was the truth, and it hurt to say it. "But, he's my friend. He's not bothering you so just give him his shirt back and leave him alone."

"I didn't take your friends freaking camisole." Zane shook his head and headed for the door. He didn't have to deal with this. He didn't have to get heated if he didn't want to. "Fly away Tinkerbelle!" Owen screamed out the door. Riley turned toward him in disbelief and threatened him with his eyes, but Owen didn't catch the hint, and continued to taunt Zane, laughing all the while. "By the way, the directors of FernGully called, their missing an extra on set!"

No one saw Riley coming, but he hit Owen harder than he ever hit anyone before and behind the punch was more emotion than he had known was inside of him. That was the last time Owen would ever mess with Zane, and Riley promised that it wasn't the last time that he would take a stand.

"Zane!" Riley ran as fast as he could to catch up with Zane. He was excited, and proud. He couldn't wait to tell Zane what he just did. "Zane, you missed it."

Zane turned around at his car and faced riley, as usual, his expression was completely emotionless. "I hit him! For you-"

"Why would you do that?" Riley's smile quickly faded and his hands dropped to his sides.

"I…I was defending you. I thought you'd be happy…"

"What did I tell you about benching yourself? What if Owen tells Armstrong? You're done for the rest of the season."

"Trust me, Owen may be a lot of things but he's no snitch." Zane nodded but then stopped. His face fell out of disappointment and hurt.

"Riley, your anger management…That hasn't been working for you?"

"Not since we broke up." Zane looked down at his feet, and Riley thought that he saw the faintest smile on his lips.

"I uh, brought you a shirt." Riley said softly with a small, shy smile. Zane looked at Riley, than at his muscular outstretched arm, then at the shirt. He took it out of Riley's hand and put it on.

"Thank you." He said, no longer able to hold back his smile. Every time Zane smiled, Riley's heart skipped ten beats. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

" I missed your smile." Riley said bravely, as he shoved his hands in his pockets. He didn't know where all of this was coming from, but he liked this new wave of courage.

"I missed your eyes," Zane said softly as he stared deep into them, "And your crazy mop top." He laughed as he messed Riley's hair with his hand. Both of the boys paused and stared at each other, it was the first real contact they had had since the breakup. Riley took a step forward as if testing the waters, trying to see if Zane would push him away or tell him to stop. Thankfully he didn't.

He put one hand on Zane's small waist, and the other over his shoulder and pulled him into a long embrace. Riley nuzzled his nose into Zane's neck and inhaled. He had missed his smell.

"Know what else I missed?" He asked hopefully. He took his hand off of Zane's shoulder and lifted it to his cheek and pressed their lips together. Zane responded by leaning into the kiss and slightly parting his lips. Zane's kisses were always warm and soft. Riley loved his lips and used to kiss him every five seconds when they were dating.

Riley pulled away and smiled. The kiss was short, but it meant everything. Riley bit his lip and looked down at Zane's smile, their foreheads were still pressed together.

"I'm sorry." Riley whispered as he closed his eyes.

"Okay, but Riley there are a lot of things we have to work out first." Zane whispered in return.

"Yeah, yeah I know I messed up. Will, you forgive me?" Zane kissed riley on the lips and then smiled. Riley couldn't resist kissing him again and exploring Zane's torso with his hands. A shiver went down Zane's spine as he felt Riley's muscular hand reach the small of his back but Zane pulled away quickly before Riley's hand reached his backside and let out a laugh.

"Okay, save it for the bedroom hot-shot." Zane laughed as he released himself from his boyfriend's, strong muscular grip. He was turned on by Riley's body as well, he just wasn't as hands-y as his boyfriend was.

"Yeah, which I have yet to see…"

" Did you suddenly forget that we're in the school parking lot?"

"I don't care." Riley said, looking deep into Zane's eyes.

Zane smiled and grabbed Riley's hands. He leaned in toward his ear so that Riley would hear him whisper:

"Come over?"

AAAANNDDD Scene

So here's the plan…I wrote like 6 chapters of this already

But I Won't upload more than the first three until I get some reviews.

So REVIEW please

I will probably upload 3 chapters/ upload since they're pre written.


	4. Celebration

Let me just say first off that you guys are great! Let's hear it for the Ziley fans yayyyy. If their are errors in my writing please be kind to ignore it as i am writing these very quickly so that you guys don't have to wait.

In honor of the ZILEY episode tonight here's the next few chapters. Watch Still Fighting It Parts 1 and 2 tonight and tmrw!

As Riley followed Zane into his parent's apartment, he was hit by memories as soon as he walked into the door. Zane's parents worked very hard and because of it, they were well off, but they were also never home.

Their apartment wasn't ridiculously lavish but it was the little things like the obsessive cleanliness, marble flooring in every bathroom and surround sound system that looked like it was from 2200 that made it obvious that Zane's family lived more than comfortably. But he also saw where he and Zane had a picnic on the floor, where they sat on the balcony and named their own star, the couch where they first fondled each other while Zane's parents were asleep in the other room. It was like memory lane impacted into one, futuristic box.

"Zane,"

"Yeah babe."

"May I, uh have some water please?" Zane stopped hanging up their jackets on the wall to look over at Riley.

"Help yourself, you know where everything is." It was then that it really hit Riley. They were back together. What was Zane's was his and vice versa. Zane was his guy again. Riley walked towards Zane and picked him up at the waist. Smiling, he plopped Zane onto the couch and straddled his legs. "Maybe I need to refresh your memory?" Zane questioned sarcastically. "The water's in the fridge."

"All I'm craving is you right now." Riley said before gently nibbling at Zane's neck.

"Riley?" Zane whispered as Riley continued to kiss from his jaw to his collarbone

"Mph?" Riley finally came up and met Zane's eyes. Zane grabbed Riley's face with both of his hands and erupted into laughter.

"That was cheesy, even for you." Riley snickered and climbed off of Zane and sat upright on the couch.

"Yeah but, you make me happy."

"Yeah I know." Zane came to the realization that he would eventually have to tell Riley why he brought him here, and he decided that it was a good time to do so. "Riley, I brought you here so that we could talk about us. No distractions, no crazy parents, teammates or friends to get in the way." Riley nodded and then lifted his eyebrows.

"Can I start?" Riley asked awkwardly. Zane smiled at his boyfriend's hesitance and nodded in return and then shifted his body so that his knees were facing Riley's."It may take some time for me to fully come out, but I'm not longer going to lie about it." Zane looked at Riley with slight confusion, so Riley continued to explain. "I mean, I'm not ready to make a public announcement, but if someone were to ask I'm not gonna deny it. I'm not ashamed of you, Zane."

"To be honest I kind of thought that you were."

"You're kidding."

"Well, I knew that you were ashamed of who _you_ were, but I thought you were ashamed of me too. Of how open I was about, everything."

"I envy you more than anything." Riley admitted with a shrug. "I'm not courageous like you."

"Promise you won't avoid me in school?"

"Zane, you're amazing. I'm not ashamed of you. Promise." Zane looked at Riley and his heart began to beat faster. He could see the sincerity in his eyes. When Riley spoke honestly from his heart without using a cheesy line, Zane could tell and it was kind of a turn on.

"Alright, good talk." Zane rushed as he inched over toward Riley.

"Wait," Riley said, confused. But not as confused as Zane was. Riley never told him to "Wait" especially if he was proposing any type of physical contact. "I'm not finished."

"It can wait."

"Dude, what's the rush? It's why you brought me here right?" Zane stared at Riley with sympathy and smiled deviously. The kid obviously didn't know what Zane was trying to propose. Zane lifted his shirt over his head and threw it behind the couch. Riley's eyes immediately locked on Zane's trim body and his gaze rested there. A smile peaked through his teeth and it eventually turned into a grin. It didn't take long for him to understand, after all he was a visual learner. "Oh…" he said through grinning teeth "yay." Zane laughed as Riley positioned himself over top of him and began to kiss him.

Zane loved the way Riley kissed. He was gentler than most guys. Sometimes it upset him to feel the gentle way he moved his tongue because he could tell that he was used to kissing girls, a lot.

Zane shook the thought from his mind and intertwined his fingers with Riley's. Riley pinned Zane's hands above his head and broke the kiss only to trail his tongue down Zane's torso. As he reached the spot just below Zane's belly button he paused, teasing him with his mouth. He could feel Zane's hips moving on response to Riley's tongue and he started running his fingers through Riley's hair. Every now and then he would look up to see Zane's face. He loved the look that he gave when he was turned on, it was a look of pure bliss.

Truth be told Riley and Zane had never had sex. They'd fooled around plenty but "sealing the deal" had not been discussed. And neither Riley nor Zane were comfortable with bringing it up. Because of that, they never knew which night would be "the night" It was all up in the air.

Riley went back up to kiss Zane again and Zane's mouth hungrily received his tongue again, his hands were still running through Riley's hair. Zane tugged at Riley's shirt and Riley removed it quickly, trying not to break the rhythm. After a few moments, Riley took his right hand and massaged Zane through his pants, causing Zane's hips to buck forward. Zane let a loud moan escape his lips which made Riley even more excited, causing him to breathe heavily.

Then, there was a knock on the door.

Yeaaahhh...i know you guys hate me for that one.


	5. Three's Company?

The two ignored the knocking at first but it became more incessant.

Riley was kissing Zane's neck when Zane pushed him off.

"I have to get that." Zane said, apologetically.

Riley reluctantly climbed off of him and sat on the edge of the couch.

"I thought you said no distractions?" he whispered half sarcastically and the rest with complete seriousness.

"I didn't schedule anything." He said perplexed as he hopped off of the couch and headed toward the door. Riley watched Zane with raised eyebrows as he pranced through the small hallway. The top of his backside was barely covered by his pants. Riley was more than disappointed when he pulled them up and opened the door.

"Hey," Anya began as she peaked through the small crack that Zane had created by the door, "What happened to you last night? You never called me back."

"Uh, I uh was really upset that's all but it's good. I'm good."

"Great, cause I was thinking that we could get some coffee at the Dot and go over our history notes together. That test is gonna be a killer." Zane paused as an attempt to collect himself. What was he supposed to say? : 'Sorry, my boyfriend had his hands down my pants and you interrupted come back later'?

"Coffee? Um, I can't. It's like 7:30 and I have to clean the apartment." Zane scrunched his face out of confusion for his own mistake and Anya's mirrored his exactly.

"Don't you have a maid?"

"Nope, fired her." Anya saw the red rushing to Zane's face and her face went from confused to suspicious.

"Zane, open the door."

"Huh?"

"The door, I'd like to be able to see your face." Zane made the mistake of cracking the door slightly and Anya stuck her hand in and pried it the rest of the way open. As she did that, the door hit Zane directly between his legs, where he was especially tender. She gave an entire new meaning to 'boner killer'.

When she walked in she saw Riley sitting on the couch, shirtless, with his legs crossed.

"Anya," He drew as he tried to fake a smile "hey girl." At first, Anya was pissed to see Riley, but then she was just happy to see that Riley was in Zane's apartment.

"Oh, great did you guys talk it out?" She asked loudly as she looked back at Zane and then at Riley.

"Um, yeah. Sort of." Zane said as he smiled slyly at Riley behind Anya's back.

"Great! Well, we should all go celebrate." She said excitedly, completely oblivious as to what was happening before she came in.

"We uh," Riley began, keeping his legs crossed so that his excitement wasn't too obvious, "We _were_ celebrating."

Anya looked from Riley to Zane, noting the awkward positioning of their legs and hands, she then noticed the shirts and shoes that were thrown every which way around the couch. She looked back up at Riley and a light bulb seemed to go off in her head.

"Oh! And, I'm interrupting." She pressed her lips together and nodded. "got it, I'll go." Riley breathed a sigh of relief and began to uncross his legs when Zane stopped Anya at the door.

"No, Anya just give me five minutes I'll change and be right down." Riley shook his head behind Zane's back at least five times and gave Anya a threatening glare. Anya hooked eyes with Riley and stared at him as she answered Zane

"…No," she said hesitantly "It's okay I'll just get them tomorrow morning."

"Anya," Zane began, his eyes urging her not to leave. "Stay."

The only reason Zane begged Anya to stay was because he knew she didn't have many close friends since her and Holly J got into a fight. She also had no boyfriend, and after finding out her mother had cancer, she was never happy. She needed Zane and Riley. Their relationship, at times, was going to have to include Anya.

Anya finally nodded, but her stomach churned when she saw Riley roll his eyes. He stood up and began walking towards Zane. He grabbed Zane's hand and began pulling him back toward the hallway.

"Just, give us a half hour." Riley said coldly.

"Riley…" Zane apologized with his eyes to Anya and corrected his boyfriend. "20 minutes is fine."

"Twenty-five." Riley bargained, still pulling Zane toward the bedroom. "Or, you can just stay and watch." Zane pushed Riley off of him and looked toward Anya once more. She almost looked like she was considering the offer. But she quickly shook her head and turned toward the door.

"I'll be waiting downstairs." She said quietly as she began to slip through the door. Before she could close the door completely, Riley picked Zane up and rapped his lover's strong legs around his waist.

"Riley…" Zane said impatiently. "You're a douche bag."

Riley ignored Zane's whining and replied by saying: "I want you." Zane rolled his eyes in response and put his chin down so that he could look at Riley under raised eyebrows.

"Riley…"

"So bad…." Riley smiled and kissed Zane's chin. Zane squirmed out of Riley's arms and slid to the floor.

"I don't think I'm in the mood anymore Riles." Riley scrunched up his nose and looked at Zane as if to say "Seriously?" That was one of the perks of being with another guy. No one was ever _not_ "in the mood."

"Anya's my friend." Zane began as he looked at Riley with serious eyes. "I don't know what happened between you two, but put it aside." Riley sighed and put his arms around Zane's neck.

"Fine, for you I will. I didn't even mean for her to get mad at me anyways. She completely overreacted over something stupid…Just, at the end of the day you're _my_ boyfriend. I wanna…" Zane waited for Riley to finish his sentence. Whenever Riley was embarrassed about something he would pause, but usually that meant that it was something important or emotional.

"I wanna come first, Zane. I've never had that before" Zane lifted Riley's arms from around his neck.

"You're right… You will always come first. But what about me?"

Riley grabbed Zane's hand and placed it on his chest.

"You feel that? That's because of you." Zane rolled his eyes at another one of Riley's corny lines, but he had to admit, Riley's heart was racing.

"25 minutes?" Zane mumbled seductively as he slid a hand over Riley's chest. His crooked smile made Riley jump. "You shouldn't give me that much credit."

"Gotta warm you up first." Riley mumbled back, trying to mirror his boyfriend's smile and the twinkle in his eye.

Zane laughed and pecked Riley on the lips before walking backwards toward the bathroom.

"I'm gonna go take a shower." He said suggestively as he began to play with the waistline of his pants. Riley laughed and followed Zane into the bathroom, where they planned to spend all twenty-five minutes.

In the midst of their flirtation, neither of them noticed that the door hadn't closed until they left the living room.


	6. And then there were two

Make sure to tune into Degrassi at 9pm Still Fighting it Part 2! Maybe if we all pray enough Riley will finally come to his senses and him and Zane can be a happy couple

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ReidandMorgan4ever!** Haha here you go babe:

At the dot, the three "friends" sat at a table directly in front of the counter. Ironically Peter was working the shift that night and Riley was excited to see him. He was going to need someone to talk to while Zane and Anya talked History.

"Okay, the middle ages…" Zane sighed as he flipped through his book.

"Yeah, can we focus on Aristotle first? I totally missed that section when I was out." Anya interrupted. Zane shrugged and turned down the corners of his mouth.

"Suit yourself." Riley was on one side of the table, while Anya and Zane sat next to each other on the other. He wasn't jealous exactly, he was just bored and he felt left out. For some reason on the way there, Anya would occasionally turn around in the passengers seat and give Riley a glare, as if challenging him.

"Hey," Riley cut in. Zane and Anya's heads were together buried over their numerous books and notes. Anya refused to look up but Zane looked up briefly with his eyes. Riley deserved some sort of acknowledgement. Riley laughed ,"Uh, did you guys see that new foreign film with the girl and the…" Riley trailed off when he saw Zane and Anya raise an eyebrow at him. It was strange but they were almost the same person at times. It made him realize how much time the two had spent together without him knowing. Riley suddenly felt insecure "…nevermind." Riley began to twiddle his thumbs as Anya and Zane went back to work again. "You've gotta admit though, those foreign films…" again, Zane and Anya raised only an eyebrow at him. "…they're uh, pretty funny…"

"Riley," Zane whispered as he scratched the back of his neck. "Can we, uh…?" Zane asked, referring back to the books. Riley nodded his head and stood up from the table.

"Yeah, sure," he said hurriedly "don't mind me." Zane and Anya exchanged glances as Riley stomped over to the bar seating with obvious attitude. Anya sighed and pressed her lips together into a frown.

"I uh, guess he's not okay with being the third wheel." Anya mumbled awkwardly as she flickered her eyes toward Zane.

"He just needs to be the center of attention sometimes."

"That's the thing with him," Anya whispered to Zane, rolling her eyes and leaning in toward him so that Riley wouldn't hear "It's always about _him_. You're entire relationship was… _ruined_ because he was being selfish. I tell ya, I don't know how you deal with it."

"Anya, I don't know what happened between you guys…but he's my boyfriend now. He told me himself he's willing to make some changes. " Anya raised her eyebrows and sat back in her chair.

"But, you can't make false promises Zane." Zane was confused, what did she mean by 'false promises' ? "You can't tell him that he's going to come first all the time you have a bunch of friends, two amazing parents that love you and you're good looking and popular-"

"Wait, how do you know I said he would come first? And who are you to tell me how to handle _my_ relationships?" Anya stopped a moment to collect herself before she began speaking again. She didn't want to risk losing her temper.

"I heard you," she began slowly "arguing with Riley about me and…"

"Wait, you were listening?"

"Well, you guys barely let me get out the door before you started going at it-"

"Anya, it's not your place…that conversation was private."

"Zane I'm pissed…"

"So am I!" Anya paused again. She couldn't lose her temper with Zane. She wouldn't know what to do with herself if he was angry with her. She was pretty sure that she darn near loved the kid, he was her only real friend right now.

"When I heard what you guys were saying…it just sounded like you two were trying to edge me out. Zane, you, Riley and my parents were the only stable part of my life this summer. And after my mom got cancer and I lost Sav…again, you two were all I had. And now that Riley and I are…Zane I'm like, dependant on you."

Back at the bar seating, Riley chatted with Peter in between orders. Since Peter graduated, they hadn't seen much of each other since the summer. Peter's orders had started slowing down and he hovered over Riley with a huge grin on his face.

"Well if it isn't Degrassi's star QB."

"_Ex_- QB." Riley confessed. He hated seeing the fading smile on Peter's face as he digested the news. "I screwed up."

"Dude…" Peter said looking flabbergasted and upset "What?"

"There was this junior…kinda hot but a total loser. He threatened to out me so I tied him to a flag pole…naked." Riley didn't even glance upward to see Peter's face, he could tell by the uncomfortable silence that he was unsure how to react.

"…So, I suspect he knew about you and Zane then?" Riley sighed, not wanting to relive the past two weeks that he and Zane weren't together.

"Yeah, because of it we broke up but we're back together now." Peter shook his head and turned the cloth over in his hand so that he could clean the counter. The dot was closing soon.

"Dude, I swear you're life is like a teen soap opera."

"Yeah I've gotten that before. But wait, I'm not done yet." Peter grabbed a stool from the other side of the bar and brought it over to his side so that he could sit and listen to Riley without being accused of taking an on shift break.

"Okay, shoot."

"Now, Anya hates me. First, I kinda freaked at her at school. Then I was at Zane's place and we were…on the couch-"

"Nice…" Riley glanced up at Peter's creepy, off-set grin and whinced.

"Uh-huh…Well, she interrupted-"

"Not so nice."

"Dude, your commentary's great but can I finish?" Riley was actually relieved that Peter was interested in his story. It showed that the guy was open minded.

"Sorry, go ahead."

"I got mad cause…well you know." Peter gave him an understanding nod. "and I guess she hates me now." Peter pressed his lips together in a thin line and his blue eyes were locked on the counter.

"Dude, that sucks…did you at least get some?"

"Yeah-dude I'm really starting to question your sexuality right now." Peter laughed and hopped of the stool.

"Sorry man, ever since I graduated Degrassi, life hasn't been half as interesting." Riley nodded but it was a distracted nod. He was still trying to listen to what Anya and Zane were saying. He wasn't sure but he thought he may have heard bickering. It was hard to imagine those two fighting. They were both so darn adorable. It was probably an argument full of love and fluff…

"You know what? I'm done." Anya said coldly as soon as Riley's thought trailed off. "Forget you Zane…and fuck your closeted, macho boyfriend." All that Riley heard after that was the screech of Anya's chair and the ring of the bells that were hanging on the Dot's door.

"That didn't sound so fluffy." He whispered as he locked eyes with Zane who was blankly staring at his textbook. Peter shook his head and walked toward the door of the restaurant before looking out after Anya briefly.

"I can't keep up with you guys" he laughed as he turned the sign on the door from 'open' to 'closed'.

"That late already?" Zane asked as he began to gather numerous notebooks and handouts off of the table.

"Yeah," Peter answered "I'd uh, let you guys stay but boss says I gotta kick you out." Zane nodded and threw his messenger bag over his shoulder. His eyes were sad and you could tell by his posture that he was depressed.

"Ready Riles?"

"Yeah, drive me home?" Zane didn't use words but instead he nodded and began to shuffle his feet toward the door. Riley turned to peter and stuck out his hand. "Thanks man, uh will you be here tomorrow?" Peter took Riley's hand and gave it a quick 'bro' shake,

"Yeah don't have anywhere else to be."


	7. Introductions

**Here's a long filler chapter to hold you over. Sorry that it's slow moving but stuff is coming up soon!**

As Zane drove, his left hand rested over his lips so that Riley couldn't see him frown. Zane always tried to be brave for Riley. Although it sounded strange and slightly incestuous, Zane felt like he was Riley's older brother sometimes. The kid looked up to him. But even Zane's act wasn't fooling Riley this time. He couldn't understand how even after him and Zane were together, things were still screwed up.

"Baby?" Riley said calmy as he reached out his hand and rested it at the nape of Zane's neck. "You okay?" Zane shook his head 'yes' and removed his hand from his mouth only for a moment so that he could run his hand through his crazily gelled hair. "Is this my fault?"

"No, it's not." Zane sighed and rested both hands on the wheel, his eyes never left the road. "It's not always about what's on the surface, you have to dig deeper." Riley pursed his lips in thought and looked out the window. He loved how wise and introspective Zane was but at times he felt as if his lover was being condescending.

"Well, tell me what's going on then."

"As long as you and I are together, Anya will never be happy." Riley scrunched his nose and looked quickly at Zane.

"What? But…but she was the reason we got together in the first place. She loves us as a couple."

"She does. But, she feels as if we're too preoccupied with each other."

"We just got back together and it wasn't a problem before-"

"Before," Zane interrupted as he finally gave Riley's face a glance "we got so serious. Over the summer, we spent every waking moment together. I think she sensed that considering neither of us had any free time and when we did we spent it with each other. She's jealous Riley, she just wants her friends back."

"This isn't some… polyanna relationship." Zane squinted at the road and a faint smile came through his lips as he digested his boyfriend's mistake.

"Polyamorous…" Zane glanced toward Riley and unleashed one of the biggest 100-watt grins that Riley had ever seen. Riley swore that he was about to melt into the floor both out of embarrassment and awe. "You mean polyamorous." Zane repeated because of his boyfriend's awkward silence.

"S-sorry, I'm not some genius."

"Oh, baby" Zane breathed sympathetically in between glances at his boyfriends flushed face. "You're brilliant." Riley looked out of the car window with doubt and tried to take his mind off of the embarrassment of this conversation by counting trees. "And you know," Zane looked at Riley and smiled again "Aristotle and other philosophers believed that intelligence lay in the heart. And you, Riley Stavros, have the biggest heart around." The car came to a stop and thank goodness it did, Riley didn't have the patience to wait until the next red light to kiss his perfect boyfriend.

As Zane pulled up to Riley's house they both breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, today was…interesting." Riley laughed at his boyfriend's loss for words. He couldn't believe that so much drama occurred in one day. A typical day at Degrassi High was always exhausting. "It's uh," Zane stretched his arm so that he could see his watch. He rose his eyebrows out of surprise "Ten o'clock right on the dot."

"Come in, meet my mom before you go." Zane stared at Riley for what felt like a lifetime for both of them before he parted his lips to answer.

"Me?" was all he knew to ask.

"Yes you. Come on." Riley opened the car door and jumped over to Zane's side, but Zane was still seated.

"Do you really think this is a good first impression to make? I feel as if I practically kidnapped you." Riley raised an eyebrow and leaned through the window.

"Trust me, you didn't kidnap me. Now let's go." Zane was hesitant, but he decided to open the door and follow Riley to the steps of his house. He tugged on his white v-neck and tried to make his hair appear more conservative.

"Do I look okay?" He asked sheepishly from behind Riley. Riley turned around, looked his boyfriend up and down and winked.

"I'd do you." Before Riley turned back around Zane interjected again.

"But I don't wanna look…I wanna seem presentable." Riley walked toward Zane with a curious and mocking twinkle in his eye.

"You're nervous." He said accusingly. Zane looked skeptically at the ground and then back up at Riley. Riley sighed and walked toward Zane who looked more than distraught. "You're wearing dark jeans, that right there implies a more formal, conservative look. And even though you're just wearing a tshirt, it's white. It will give off the affect that you're wearing a tuxedo. I don't know it just triggers something in people's brains." Zane looked at Riley, impressed beyond belief. "Plus," Riley smiled sensually, "your jeans are perfectly fitted, just resting on the hip. And your t-shirt is only slightly see through."

"Yeah, okay that's good for you but I don't know how your mom would feel about me flashing my chest in her living room." Riley held up a finger and widened his eyes.

"Let me finish. What you're wearing is sexy-conservative. So it leaves just enough to the imagination but shows enough so that others can tell you have a good body. Now, when my mom sees you she'll sense a mature nature about you that she subconsciously contrived from your appearance. Now combine mature, confident, presentable and a killer body and you have the man of most women's dreams. If anything she'll feel oddly attracted to you." Zane stood at the base of the steps and stared down at his shirt. How could something so outlandish make so much sense? Riley already began knocking on the door while Zane was still attempting to form words.

"Wow."

"I know, blows your mind doesn't it?" Riley said sarcastically. It was scary that all he was good at was football and people skills. He was the type A jock that every guy wanted to be and every girl wanted to date. But in the real world that gets you nowhere.

"where'd all that come from?"

"Just letting my inner flame shine bright I guess. But I have to put it out before I walk into the house. Haven't come out yet."

"I figured as much." Zane was still adjusting his clothing and breathing heavily.

"By the way make sure to flash those pearly whites you probably won't even have to say a word." Zane finally walked up the steps and let out a breath just as he reached the top.

"Why, is your mom an optimist or something?" he asked briefly as he continued to dust off his shirt.

"No. You just have an irresistible smile." Riley knocked on the door once more and than gave up. "I don't think I have my key." As soon as Riley began to search his pockets the door swung open so quickly that it caused Zane to take a step backwards behind Riley.

"Oh, It's nice to see that my son has decided that it is time to come home." A curly haired woman said with a light Greek accent. She turned around and walked back through the foyer, picking up a laundry basket before she disappeared around the corner. Riley huffed and than grabbed Zane by the hand.

"She's not evil I promise." He whispered. He told Zane to wait in the hallway as he tried to explain things to his mom. "Ma, my curfew is at 11:30 why are you so upset?"

"'I will come home right after practice' you said. And did you do that? No." Riley shuffled his feet. His mother's accent made every word she spoke sound even more harsh.

"There was a change of plans."

"Oh, a change of plans." Mrs. Stavros looked up from her laundry once to mock Riley with her eyes. "How am I supposed to trust a son when he won't even tell his mother that he won't be home huh? I thought something may have happened to you Riley…" Riley saw his mom staring curiously at something behind him. He turned his head and saw that Zane had appeared from the hallway.

"Hello , I'm sorry for keeping your son out so late." Riley turned around to look at his mother and he could see her face softening with every word that Zane spoke. "His car broke down at the school and, he called me to pick him up and we got a little carried away with studying." Zane was pretty good at lying on the spot, but he could have said that they were abducted by Oompa Loompa's and held hostage until they successfully made 700 boxes of chocolate and would have believed him.

"Well," Mrs. Stavros said sharply as she looked at Riley and then back at Zane. "Who's your friend?"

"Oh, I'm Zane Park. I'm on the team with Riley. I should have introduced myself I apologize." Riley's mother held her hand over her chest and gripped at her blouse.

"No, it's fine." As she looked at the ground for a brief moment Riley caught Zane's eye and raised his eyebrows as if to say 'told you so'. "If I had known we were going to have company I would have cleaned the house. Or I would have at least made some extra dinner."

"That's very nice of you but I have to get going. School sure doesn't wait for me to get there." Then he smiled. Riley could see his mother's face flush. He could tell by the awkward silence that she was mesmerized.

"Well," she mumbled "I don't see why not." Riley shifted uncomfortably behind his mother and cleared his throat.

"Ma," he whispered harshly "can Zane and I have a moment?" Riley's mother ignored his request and turned back toward Zane.

"In a minute Riley. Zane, why don't you stay? You don't need to be driving at these late hours." Mrs. Stavros asked as she stared at Zane as if he were a lost puppy that she was just begging to adopt. Riley's eye's widened out of surprise. His mom never asked people to stay over the house unless they were family.

"Thank you, very much but I really have to get home my parents are expecting me. "

"I could wash your clothes and Riley could give you some boxers to sleep in for the night."

"That's kind, but I sleep naked anyways."

Cue the most awkward, sexual tension filled silence ever. Riley swore he could hear a fly buzzing in the room.

"Well, thanks Zane for stopping by." Riley said, attempting to break the awkward feeling in the room. He blatantly grabbed Zane's hand and his mother didn't even notice the slip up. " I'm just gonna walk Zane to the door."

"Nice meeting you Mrs. Stavros." Zane called as he was being pulled down the hallway. Riley's mother just stood there and didn't get back to her laundry until a few moments later.

"Hey, remember earlier when I said you were 'brilliant'" Zane asked as he walked toward his car full of machismo. "Correction, you're a genius. You should be on Oprah and have your own segment." Riley snickered and smiled sheepishly. Zane stopped at his car and smiled. "Thanks to you it went pretty well. I barely had to say a thing." Riley raised an eyebrow and reached for Zane's car door.

"Pretty well? I think you just got my mom pregnant."

"I learned it from the best." Zane and Riley held gazes for a while before Zane ducked into his car. "See you tomorrow. Oh, I almost forgot…" Zane gave Riley a peck on the lips before closing his car door.

"Bye Zane." Riley waved at Zane like a smitten little girl before he drove off. Every time he was with him, he felt like a school girl with a huge crush. He never wanted to lose that feeling.


	8. Stepping Out

**I can't resist posting for you guys it's insane…I'm like addicted to it.**

At school the next morning, Riley was lost in thoughts of Zane. He couldn't believe that he was so lucky to have him. He drew hearts and happy faces in his notebook, smiling to himself-

"Mr. Stavros!" Riley looked up confused to see the teacher coming toward him with chalk in his out stretched hand. "can you please demonstrate to the class what I just instructed." Riley shook his head and grabbed the chalk. As soon as he reached the board he realized he had no clue as to what he was doing. He looked briefly behind his shoulder at Drew who simply shrugged. His eyes scanned the room until he locked eyes with Fiona Coyne.

"x- 7/4…" she mouthed. He scrunched up his face in confusion and she urged him to write with her eyes. " equals y – z…." Riley's face lit up as he finished the rest of the equation on his own. He turned around to face the class and smiled.

"Thank you , hopefully you and Riley won't be using that strategy during next weeks exam." Riley's face flushed as he huddled back into his seat. He looked back toward Fiona who was already hovering over her books. He was surprised that he would help her at all after the mess that they were in earlier that year.

After class Riley ran to catch up with Fiona.

"Hey Fi," he said happily as they walked side by side.

"Hey Riley, sorry I'm not a very good whisperer."

"No, you're fine. Listen, I know things were screwed up this year, but I was hoping that we could be friends?" Fiona's face lit up at the last word as she jumped to hug Riley.

"Yes! Of course. I could use another friend around here."

"Great. I'll see you later then."

"Yeah! Dot after school today? Half off on the grande mocha lattes." She said persuasively. Everyone from Degrassi always hung out at the dot like it was the only spot that served food in Toronto. Riley was confused as to how no one was tired of it yet.

"Alright, after practice I'll meet you there." Fiona left and Riley watched her dark curls bounce down the hallway. After she turned he felt a strong hand on his shoulder.

"Nice going Stavros." K.C. whispered as he walked by Riley.

"What can I say," he yelled after the underclassman "I'm irresistible." Riley's face fell immediately afterward. He still didn't tell the truth. But that didn't really count right? What was he supposed to do anyway? Come out right then and there? Riley walked down the hallway on his way to his next class when he bumped into one of the sophomores.

"Watch it." Riley said a little too harshly.

"I'm-I'm sorry…" the kid stuttered in a voice that was too underdeveloped for a sixteen year old boy. Riley gave the kid a once over and was about to say something when one of the civics teachers walked up behind the sophomore and looked at Riley with threatening eyes.

"Is there a problem?" she asked accusingly.

"No, not at all." Riley answered ready to retreat.

"Come on Adam, let's get you to class." Riley watched as the woman placed a hand on the kids shoulder and directed him to the nearby math classroom. She must have been his shadow. Only kids with mental illness or blindness needed shadows. He wondered what was wrong with that kid.

"Hey hot stuff." His thoughts were interrupted but he didn't mind when he saw Zane standing behind him, smiling brightly in a blue t-shirt and black leather jacket. "Miss me?"

"More than you know." Riley put one arm around Zane's shoulder and as soon as he did he received glances from most of the people passing by. He closed his eyes for a moment to collect himself and then looked at Zane. "Hey, what's with that kid?" He asked referring to the underclassman he had just bumped into.

"Who? Adam? He's cool. He comes to the LGBT meetings."

"Is he gay?" Zane shook his head and turned to face Riley, making Riley drop his arm to his side.

"No, he's an FTM"

"A what? Sounds like a radio station." Zane laughed softly and shook his head.

"He's a female to male transgender." Riley's eyes widened as he looked at Adam and back towards Zane.

"He's a chick?"

"Well, no he's a guy but biologically he's female. He's a really good kid but he has a rough time here. Get's bullied a lot." Riley nodded his head deeply out of understanding and rubbed his lips together in thought.

"That's what the shadow's for…" Zane sighed and gave Riley a pat on the shoulder before beginning to back away.

"I'm gonna go to class, see you later?" Riley looked at Zane, confused as to why he was going to walk to class alone.

"Let me go with you." He grabbed Zane's hand causing Zane to stop. He studied the way their fingers were intertwined and then looked up at Riley, concerned.

"You sure about this?" Riley nodded and stepped out into the hallway. Although their fingers were linked together, he walked slightly in front of Zane as if defending him. As they walked down the hallway holding hands, people began to part like the red sea, staring at every move the two made. Riley looked back at Zane and smiled.

"You okay?" he asked, more concerned if this was too much for Zane than it was for him.

"Yeah I'm fine." They stopped outside of Zane's classroom and stared at each other for a moment. If they were alone, Riley would have leaned in and kissed him. But that would have been too much for one day. "It's okay," Zane whispered as if reading his mind. "Baby steps."


	9. Protecting Adam

Riley left his last class of the day feeling exhausted. Not only did he have two tests today, but he had stayed up late the previous night on the phone with Zane. He could barely keep his eyes open.

As he was about to go to the locker room for practice he saw that Adam kid again. This time he was alone, and was about to walk into a pack of angry, intolerant football players, including Owen. Once Adam saw the guys he began to turn around and walk the other way. As he turned around he bumped into Riley again and began to tremble. Riley could see the kid's eyes bugging out of his head as he began to retreat. Riley grabbed Adam by the shoulder, put his arm around him and began to walk toward the intimidating group. Adam said nothing, absolutely terrified of what was about to happen to him.

"Get a new girlfriend Riley?" One of the guys joked as Riley pushed passed the guys to escort Adam to class.

"Chill out man." Riley hissed. The guys said nothing afterward, and Riley could feel Adam's shoulders relaxing under his grip. "You alright?" There was a long awkward pause before Adam realized that Riley was talking to him.

"Ye-Yeah I'm fine. Thanks man." Adam began to continue down the hallway before Riley stopped him.

"Hey, there's an LGBT seminar tonight. You should go." Adam scrunched his eyebrows and looked at Riley suspiciously.

"Is this some kind of joke?"

"No! I'm just…being friendly."

"I don't need people to feel sorry for me.." Adam stopped talking for a moment and looked at the ground "plus, I don't really have a ride. And I can't hang out around here alone after school."

"Zane and I will take you." Adam stepped back out of shock and slowly started to retreat. "Adam, come on man…"

"Okay fine."

"Meet us on the steps after practice. We're heading to the dot and then we'll go to the meeting. Do you have someone to keep you company until then?"

"I'm sure my friend Eli will still be here."

"Cool."

"Cool." Adam repeated with a small smile. Making a new friend meant that he had someone safe to hang out with when Clare and Eli were making googley eyes at one another. Riley turned and smiled to himself. For the first time in a long time, he walked away from a situation feeling proud.

Practice had gone smoothly that day. When Owen was asked about his black eye he simple said that he "hit his eye with the car door." And walked away. Riley and walked Zane to the front steps to wait for Adam. Zane, however, didn't know who or what they were waiting for.

"Riley, why are we sitting on the front steps?" Zane asked patiently. He was always patient, did the guy ever get pissed?

"Waiting for someone…" Riley answered distracted as he searched the lot for Adam. "Maybe he's over here." Riley hopped off the steps and began walking behind the fence that separated the Degrassi parking lot. There he saw a big black hearse, two other kids and Adam. He could hear them talking from across the lot.

"There are multiple reasons why the ending of Merchant of Venice is unjustified. Shylock was never avenged! The conclusion just gives me reason to believe that Shakespeare was anti semetic."

"You're completely belligerent Clare." A kid dressed in all black said with a huff as he worked under the hood of his car. "Adam, what do you think?" Adam was deep in thought. He was sitting on the asphalt, leaning against the hearse and staring at the ground. He was imagining the danger he could be soon putting himself in. "Adam!" Adam looked up and squinted at the bickering friends completely puzzled.

"So," Clare began "what do you think?"

"Oh, I don't know." Eli rolled his eyes and closed the hood of his hearse before dusting his hands off on his vest.

"Your passion is contagious, please feed me more of your overly zealous insight." Eli said sarcastically. "I have to drive Clare home, you coming?" Adam could tell by the lack luster delivery of the invitation and by the way Clare shifted her feet that they wanted privacy and that they were just inviting him to be polite.

"Um,"

"Adam!" All three of them looked up to see QB1 Riley Stavros and fellow football player Zane Park blocking the entryway. Riley nodded with his head for Adam to join and he immediately jumped up.

"Sorry guys," he said turning to Clare and Eli who were both in utter shock. "I have other plans." Eli gave his signature smirk and looked at Clare, then at Zane and Riley and back at Clare but, she was still staring after Adam with confusion. Eli shrugged and began to get into the car. Clare stood there for a few extra moments before following his lead.


	10. The Four Amigos

At the Dot, Adam, Riley and Zane picked the same table as last time, shortly there after Fiona arrived. She seemed surprised, but not disappointed, to see the two other guys there.

"Wow, I didn't know it was a party." She said excitedly as she sat down between Adam and Riley. Peter came by their table to take an order, but not before making a wise crack.

"This has got to be the most random bunch of people ever." As if on cue, Alli Bhandari walked in and stood right behind Riley and Zane.

"Hey. Hi, How you doin- okay any of you seen Drew?"

"Correction," Peter said as he began to walk away, "2nd most random bunch of people ever. I'll come back later."

"Uh, no sorry." Zane answered apologetically as Alli sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Well he was _supposed_ to meet me after practice." Riley shrugged in response. Adam decided that the girl was tortured enough and tried to help her out.

"He probably went home early. It's rare that him and mom get to leave school without having to wait for me so, he probably just forgot." Fiona breathed in through her teeth at Adam's harsh wording causing Adam to turn his head to flash her a look.

"Forgot? Oh, well that's great. Well when Drew goes to the end of the year dance alone, tell him that I forgot that he was my boyfriend." With that, Alli left. The group of four exchanged glances and shook their heads before settling into an awkward silence. Zane stood up and began to walk toward the back before Riley grabbed his hand.

"Where you going?" He said like a lost puppy. Zane smiled sweetly at his boyfriend's reaction.

"I'm just going to the bathroom." Adam and Fiona looked at Riley curiously as he stared after Zane. As Riley turned his attention back on them they quickly looked away.

"Sorry guys this must be awkward. Um, Fiona this is Adam, Adam this is my friend Fiona." Adam actually looked at Fiona for the first time. Between his nervousness and the amount of people coming in and out he never noticed how beautiful she was.

"Nice to meet you Adam." She said sweetly after she realized he wasn't going to respond.

"Fiona's helped me through some crazy stuff. I'm lucky that she even wants to be my friend."

"Yeah," Adam said, finally out of his trance "I feel the same way about my friends considering…well, you know." Riley nodded and Fiona looked from side to side, trying to figure out what these two were hiding. Before she could muster up the courage to inquire, Zane returned, smiling of course.

"What were you doing in there that made you so happy?" Riley asked flirtatiously.

"Nothing that you need to know." Zane responded. Riley grabbed Zane's hand and pulled him onto his lap. Zane looked surprised at first, but then he took his arm and wrapped it around Riley's neck.

"Don't talk to me like that." Riley mumbled with a smile. Zane shook his head and laughed. Zane's laugh was all it took for Riley. He leaned in and interrupted his laugh with a kiss on the lips. Behind them came a frustrated sigh.

"I'll come back later!" Peter said again as he walked back toward the counter. Riley and Zane looked over toward Fiona and Adam. Fiona was biting her lip and smiling, looking like she was about to fall out of her chair. Adam was slouched over in his chair with his eyebrows raised, pissed that once Fiona left he was going to be the third wheel again.

"So," Adam said breaking the awkward silence that filled the room "you guys are…"

"Football players?" Zane interrupted as he adjusted himself on Riley's lap so that he was facing Adam "yeah." Adam looked confused for a moment and all four of them erupted into laughter.

"Riley, why didn't you tell me?" Fiona asked. Riley was surprised by how happy she was that he finally had a boyfriend.

"Because…you kinda hated me."

"Well, he's very cute. You did good." Riley blushed and then shook his head.

"Oh! Yeah Zane this is Fiona."

"We know each other." Zane admitted, "She's in my science class." Peter walked up slowly and stood a slight distance from the table before saying:

"Are there anymore interruptions or makeout sessions I need to know about?"

"Not yet." Adam said sheepishly looking shyly at Fiona. Fiona blushed and looked at Peter, stuttering.

"I-I'll have a uh, grande mocha frap please." Zane and Riley both noticed the flirtation between Adam and Fiona and exchanged communicating glances. Both of them nodded in agreement. After spending so much time together they didn't have to talk to communicate.

"Fiona, do you wanna come with us to the LGBT mixer tonight?" Riley asked.

"Yeah, you should go." Adam said trying to keep cool and hide his excitement.

"Well, alright. Can't hurt."

"You can take Adam home." Zane proposed. This way Adam and Fiona could spend some time together, and he and Riley could be alone.

"Absolutely." Fiona smiled.

"Fuck, I give up. I'll get someone else to take your order."

All four of them laughed at Peter's frustration and stared at each other for a moment before calling Peter back and apologizing profusely. The four of them felt that they had known each other forever and couldn't wait to see where this meeting of chances would take them.


	11. Passion

"So, are we trying to set Adam up with Fiona now or what?" Riley asked as he and Zane walked to the door of his apartment. Zane shrugged and stopped, trying to find his key.

"I don't know Fiona well enough to say but, they looked pretty friendly tonight."

"Yeah, he certainly seemed pretty interested. Kid better watch it."

"Well, yeah she's a pretty girl. And he is a guy so, you know how we think."

"Oh yeah?" Riley said seductively as he hovered over Zane from behind. "What are you thinking right now?" Zane smirked and stopped struggling with the door to respond to Riley breathlessly.

"I'm thinking if you don't back up I'll never be able to concentrate on getting this door open." Riley ran his hands over Zane's arms and rested his chin on his shoulder.

"Better hurry up and get that door open then." After a few more seconds of struggling, Zane finally unlocked the door and spun the knob. Before he could even step into the apartment, Riley turned him around and started kissing him. Zane walked backwards into the hallway, kissing Riley. He dropped his bag to the floor and they continued to makeout, uninterrupted.

As they walked backward through the apartment it was a sea of hands and limbs. Zane had one hand on the back of Riley's neck and used the other to grab at his shirt. Riley's hands were positioned the same way. Riley leaned Zane against the kitchen counter and grabbed at his backside, shamelessly knocking over a few jars and dishes . Zane lifted one leg and wrapped it around Riley's waist while Riley tugged on Zane's shirt with his other hand.

Zane broke the kiss only to remove Riley's shirt. He then pinned him to the wall, smashing his lips to Riley's. Riley fought against Zane and pushed him against the opposite wall and started grabbing at his jeans. Zane positioned his hips so that Riley could unzip his fly. As soon as Riley got it down they continued to make their way through the living room to the couch. Riley was about to sit down on the arm of the couch when Zane pulled him back up and guided him toward the bedroom.

When Riley felt the bed hit the back of his legs he let himself fall backwards, pulling Zane over top of him. Zane stripped himself of his own shirt and began undoing Riley's belt. Riley looked up at Zane and licked his lips, Zane in turn smirked and went back to kissing Riley once his belt was removed. Riley rolled them over so that he was on top and he wasted no time diving in and kissing at Zane's chest and neck. Zane let out a gasp of pleasure and breathed heavily causing Riley to lose all thought and all sense of reality.

"Make love to me." Riley stopped kissing Zane after he heard what his boyfriend had said. He looked at Zane, shocked at his lovers command. It's not that he didn't want to. Goodness knew that he wanted to.

He looked at his shirtless boyfriend that was lying below him. Riley watched Zane's bare chest move up and down struggling to catch his breath. As he stared at his lover, hair messed in passion; he realized that he wasn't attracted to anyone one else as strongly as he was to him.

Zane ignored Riley's pause and pulled him back toward him. But Riley stopped him when he started to pull at Riley's pants.

"Zane, no."


	12. First Time

Zane stared up at Riley blankly. He should have been surprised by the answer, but instead he was more disappointed than shocked.

"No?" he said deeply as he searched Riley's face for an answer. "So that's it? You're turning me down?" Riley was still straddling Zane but refused to look at him. Looking at his hurt face made this all the more difficult.

Riley didn't answer, he just swung his leg over so that he was beside Zane, facing him on his side. Zane turned on his side toward Riley as well. Riley was still looking down at the bed and not at his boyfriend so Zane moved his face to try and catch Riley's eye. "Riley," he said, finally making eye contact "if you don't want to, it's okay." Riley shook his head and sighed, helplessly.

"Zane, it's not that. I want to, I've wanted to since I first saw you." Zane's face flushed when Riley said that but he forced himself to keep a straight face so that Riley could finish his thought. "It's just, I don't want you to be disappointed." After Riley finally finished speaking, he hung his head. He was relieved that he had gotten it off of his chest, but he was also very ashamed. Zane saw the trouble in his lover's eyes and reached out to touch his cheek.

"What brought all this on, huh? You're usually so confident."

"This is different. It's important and I have no clue what I'm doing." Zane dropped his hand from Riley's face and sighed.

"Like I'm some Casanova? I'm not sure if I should be flattered or offended." Riley shook his head, getting impatient with the fact that Zane wasn't taking this as seriously as he should.

"No, but you have before. I've never been intimate with a guy."

"Riley, a couple's first time is never completely perfect. There are gonna be some bumps along the way, and some awkward moments. We don't know each other's bodies that intimately." Riley pained at Zane's insight. It worried him that he was so wise. Sometimes he sounded like a man that had been married four times, and that intimidated him.

"What if I hurt you? What if I'm awful at it or I can only last two seconds? What if-" Zane kissed Riley and pulled away slowly. They kept their foreheads together for a moment before Zane leaned in again to kiss him more passionately.

"Follow my lead," he whispered "you'll be fine." The couple removed the rest of their clothes, kissing lightly in between and caressing every curve and muscle on each other's bodies, trying to get to know each other's forms. Riley pushed Zane lightly onto his back and began trailing kisses down his chest and stomach.

Riley took Zane in his mouth and trailed his fingers on Zane's stomach and chest. He could feel Zane's breathing was uneven and the moans that escaped his lips were saturated with pleasure and want. When Zane pulled Riley up from between his legs and began to go down on him Riley stopped him. Zane knew that Riley was afraid of losing it, so he stopped, pressed their bodies together and kissed him instead. Zane stopped kissing Riley, their bodies still intertwined, and looked him deeply in the eyes. Practicing the art of communicating without words, Riley held the gaze and nodded slowly. Zane pecked Riley on the lips before climbing off of the bed and walking into his bathroom. Riley looked down at himself while Zane was gone and started thinking:

_Oh man, I'm gonna explode. _

_He's so beautiful._

_What if I hurt him? I'm reasonably sized…right?_

_Wonder how big his ex was._

Zane returned back with a condom and let Riley put it on himself. Zane jumped back onto the bed, smiling like a little kid in a candy store, and straddled Riley at his stomach, causing Riley to gasp. Zane smirked at Riley's reaction and positioned himself so that Riley could enter him comfortably. Before he began, he looked at Riley and asked "are you okay?" one last time. Riley nodded, and Zane took that as a green light.

Riley's mouth opened slightly from pleasure and Zane bit his lip. Zane's eyes were closed, trying to focus on the pleasure and not the pain, but Riley's eyes were open, he didn't want to miss a single thing. Riley let out a few moans, and when he was all the way in he winced, trying to hold on and not release too soon.

"Am I hurting you?" Riley asked, as Zane began to move up and down. Zane opened his eyes and leaned down to kiss Riley and then shook his head 'no'. Riley moved back so that he could support his back on the headboard as he watched Zane. He was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. When Zane threw his head back in passion, Riley would gasp. When Riley winced from the overwhelming pleasure it made Zane smile faintly and stop for a moment, so that they could both catch their breath. Riley worked his hand on Zane, trying to make him feel the amazing pleasure that he was feeling. Zane got off of Riley and laid on his stomach. Riley hesitated, but slowly began to kiss down Zane's back and toward his buttocks. Riley surprised Zane with kisses on his backside and Zane gripped the pillow underneath him.

"Go ahead." Zane whispered as he sensed that Riley was stalling. Riley was nervous, and didn't want to do the wrong thing, so he went compulsively slow. When Zane whimpered Riley would stop and panic. "No, it's okay," Zane would say "you feel great, keep going." As Riley continued he knew he would release soon.

"Zane," he whispered. Zane immediately knew what he was asking, and he turned over so that they could continue while facing each other. Riley kissed Zane a few more times and then entered him again. Riley became less worried about hurting Zane and more concerned with pleasuring him. His thrusts became more steady and consistent. Zane was turned on by his boyfriends growing confidence. Riley gasped, "I'm gonna…"

"Yeah, me too." Zane whispered as they put their heads together. As they each began to moan louder and move faster, they released. After they finished, Riley laid on top of Zane, exhausted from being so precise and aroused. Riley kissed Zane on the lips once more before he rolled off to the other side of the bed. He wrapped his arm around Zane's waist and sighed. Zane rolled over to face Riley and began to trace circles on Riley's muscular arms with his fingertips. Riley didn't want to seem obsessive so he didn't ask how he did. But Zane saw the curiosity in his face, looked into his eyes and said:

"Perfect."

**HAHA don't worry guys i changed the rating to M as soon as i uploaded this chapter haha. it's just taking a while to show up.**


	13. The Aftermath

The boys sat on the bed and talked, without clothing, for an hour afterward. Zane wasn't worried about his parents coming home seeing as they were both away on business trips, but Riley had a phonecall to make. Riley leaned over Zane to grab his pants and reached his cell phone. Riley settled comfortably over Zan'es lower body and tried to reach his mom.

"Hello?"

"Mom, hey-"

"Your date ran late tonight eh?"

"Um, yeah…" Riley squeaked, trying not to be too distracted by the lines that Zane was tracing with his fingers on Riley's lower back. "But, I'm with Zane now-well I-I'm at Zane's now." Riley could hear Zane snicker but he ignored it.

"Oh! tell him I say hi. And that he is welcome anytime." Riley rolled his eyes and looked back at Zane.

"Yeah okay mom I"ll tell him." Zane raised his eyebrows and smiled as if impressed with himself.

"are you staying?"

"Yeeahh…I plan to." He answered with a laugh.

"Okay be safe."

"Okay love you." Before his mother could say her goodbyes, Riley closed the phone and sat next to Zane again. Their legs were still intertwined. "My mom's got it bad. She wanted me to say 'hi' and that 'you're welcome anytime'." Zane laughed and scooted closer to Riley.

"Looks like I have an effect on your family, just wait until I meet your dad." Riley laughed and shook his head.

"Oh you're never meeting my Dad." Zane looked hurt at first but then thought it was all part of the joke.

"What, you think I'm gonna seduce him and steal him away from you."

"That, and he would kill me, and you." Zane cleared his throat and began to slide off of the bed. Riley turned on his stomach and looked after him.

"Where you going?"

"To take a shower."

"But I like smelling you all sweaty." Zane stopped walking toward the bathroom door and turned around to face his boyfriend.

"I'm just trying to cool down a little."

"Was I that good?" Riley asked with a devious grin and an awkward eyebrow raise. Zane couldn't help but laugh and come back to bed, he would shower in the morning.

"Yep, you were that good."

"And you were amazing." Riley intertwined his fingers with Zane and than looked up at him skeptically " how experienced are you?" They both laughed and looked down at their hands, and then back up at each other. "and it didn't hurt?"

"Eh, a little. But the pain is all part of it. Wasn't your fault." Riley inhaled and looked at the crazy-haired boy's vibrant, crooked smile and immediately felt reassured.

"Promise that the first time I'm…that you'll be careful?" Zane smiled at riley's embarrassment.

"Of course." Riley could see him smirking at him and felt even more bashful. Zane tilted Riley's chin toward him and gave him a short kiss. "You're adorable, especially when you're embarrassed." Riley blushed and looked over at the clock. It was 1 am.

"We have a game tomorrow. We've gotta get some sleep." Zane nodded and reached to turn off the light before turning on his side and letting Riley snuggle up behind him.

"Night." He whispered. Riley kissed him on the shoulder and watched him drift off to sleep before falling asleep himself.

Riley was startled by Zane's alarm clock and was confused when he woke up to find himself in the same positiong, but Zane was absent. He looked at the open door of the bathroom and could see the steam on the mirror and the windows. Zane must have just gotten out of the shower. Riley pulled on his boxers and sauntered into the kitchen. As he figured, Zane was at the stove wearing nothing but a bath towel. His hair was still slightly damp and was going every which way. His back and the top of his bare shoulders were still damp causing Riley to stare at his back muscles as he worked over the stove.

"How is it," Riley said in a raspy morning voice, "that someone could make fixing breakfast look so hot?" Zane turned around to see a muscular Riley standing shirtless at the doorway. Zane admired his body before turning his attention back to the omelet he was making.

"The same way that someone could roll out of bed looking so sexy." Riley walked over to Zane and hugged him from behind. Zane chuckled and stopped working on the stove. "and sticky." Riley dropped his arms and walked backwards to lean on the counter behind him.

"I couldn't shower yet, I wanted to see you first."

"Oh, that's sweet. Sleep well last night?"

"Yeah." Riley didn't mention that he didn't sleep until Zane did. He didn't want to seem creepy. " I don't know why I'm so tired."

"Probably because it's 6:30 in the morning." Riley looked at Zane and then sighed. He couldn't go back to bed, once he was up he was up for good. "It just takes me a while to get ready in the morning."

"I'm not surprised. Do you make extravagant breakfasts every morning Rachel Ray?" Zane smiled and used a spatula to place the omelet onto a plate that was already waiting with bacon and toast.

"Nope," He said as he handed the plate to Riley "just today." Riley watched him turn in the direction of the bedroom and remove his towel to dry his hair. AS Riley leaned back to stare at Zane before he disappeared behind the door, he couldn't help thinking what it would be like if life were this way every morning. _That would be a little too great_. Riley thought as he began eating his omelet. He scarffed down the rest of it and threw the dishes into the sink before going to take a shower. Zane had briefs on and was making a phone call in the corner of the room, so Riley let him be. He took the quickest shower he could, so that he could be in the same room as Zane again. He felt so happy but so apprehensive about what was going to happen next.

He walked out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and sat on the bed to watch Zane pick out his clothes.


	14. Morning

Riley was startled by Zane's alarm clock and was confused when he woke up to find himself in the same position, but Zane absent. He looked at the open door of the bathroom and could see the steam on the mirror and the windows. Zane must have just gotten out of the shower. Riley pulled on his boxers and sauntered into the kitchen. As he figured, Zane was at the stove wearing nothing but a bath towel. His hair was still slightly damp and was going every which way. His back and the top of his bare shoulders were still damp causing Riley to stare at his back muscles as he worked over the stove.

"How is it," Riley said in a raspy morning voice, "that someone could make fixing breakfast look so hot?" Zane turned around to see a muscular Riley standing shirtless at the doorway. Zane admired his body before turning his attention back to the omelet he was making.

"The same way that someone could roll out of bed looking so sexy." Riley walked over to Zane and hugged him from behind. Zane chuckled and stopped working on the stove. "And sticky." Riley dropped his arms and walked backwards to lean on the counter behind him.

"I couldn't shower yet, I wanted to see you first."

"Oh, that's sweet. Sleep well last night?"

"Yeah." Riley didn't mention that he didn't sleep until Zane did. He didn't want to seem creepy. " I don't know why I'm so tired."

"Probably because it's 6:30 in the morning." Riley looked at Zane and then sighed. He couldn't go back to bed, once he was up he was up for good. "It just takes me a while to get ready in the morning."

"I'm not surprised. Do you make extravagant breakfasts every morning Rachel Ray?" Zane smiled and used a spatula to place the omelet onto a plate that was already waiting with bacon and toast.

"Nope," He said as he handed the plate to Riley "just today." Riley watched him turn in the direction of the bedroom and remove his towel to dry his hair. As Riley leaned back to stare at Zane before he disappeared behind the door, he couldn't help thinking what it would be like if life were this way every morning. _That would be a little too great_. Riley thought as he began eating his omelet. He devoured the rest of it and threw the dishes into the sink before going to take a shower. Zane had briefs on and was making a phone call in the corner of the room, so Riley let him be. He took the quickest shower he could, so that he could be in the same room as Zane again. He felt so happy but so apprehensive about what was going to happen next.

He walked out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and sat on the bed to watch Zane pick out his clothes.

"Which one?" Zane asked as he held up a purple v-neck and a light weight white shirt.

"Purple's your color, but I can kinda see through the other one." Zane threw the purple shirt at a smiling Riley and hung the white one back in his closet. Riley smirked before laying Zane's purple shirt on the bed and getting up to find his own clothes.

He left the bedroom, remembering how they had thrown their clothes around the apartment the previous night, and walked into the living room. He looked up to see a woman, with her back to him, looking down at the floor at the shirts, jackets and shoes that were on various spots on the floor. She heard Riley come out, causing her to turn around and stare. The woman was small and was wearing a business suit. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail revealing her light brown eyes which were very similar to Zane's.

"S-sorry." Riley stuttered, not sure if he should make sure that his towel stayed in place or if he should cover his bare chest.

The woman huffed and breezed past Riley and into Zane's bedroom. He could hear them arguing from outside the door.

"I didn't know you'd be home early."

"So that gives you an excuse to bring some boy here and pitch a tent in our absence? You're lucky it wasn't your father walking in here."

"Mom, let's talk about this, don't get so upset."

"I'm not upset! But we've talked about this Zane, no company when we are not home."

"You're never home! Am I supposed to spend every day alone?" Riley squinted his eyes and began to walk toward the bedroom door. He stood outside so that he could peak in through the crack of the doorway without getting caught.

"You two could have gone somewhere else. What's the point in bringing him home Zane? What are you trying to say about yourself?"

"He's my boyfriend. Alright, he's not just some guy I picked up off the street." Riley saw Zane's mother look at the disheveled bed and then at the floor. When her eyes settled on Riley's boxers from the night before, Zane followed her gaze and picked them up before she could ask any more questions.

"You put those sheets in the wash. I don't want Diana to have to touch them." Although her command seemed cold, her face had softened. She cradled Zane's cheek in her hand before stepping over the clothes on the floor and heading for the door. Riley walked quickly to the living room and sat on the couch.

"Hello," she said warmly, her voice having the same deep, smooth tone as Zane's . Riley could tell that she wanted to slap Riley in the face for sleeping with her son, but she breathed in slowly and tried to contain her disappointment. "I'm Mrs. Park. You must be Riley." Riley took the woman's hand and shook it softly. She was so delicate, it seemed that he would break her if he squeezed to hard.

"I'm sorry we had to meet like this." He sighed.

"Don't worry about it. It's not the first time." Zane's mother laughed but Riley's face contorted in confusion. What did she mean it wasn't the first time? "But it was nice meeting you. Next time we can plan to see each other again." Riley nodded as Mrs. Park slipped out of the door. Zane returned, fully dressed and hair gelled, and sat next to Riley on the couch.

"Sorry." He whispered as he took Riley's hand. Riley shrugged and stood up.

"It's okay. Just glad it wasn't your dad. He probably would have killed me." Riley started to seem distant making Zane nervous. But he didn't mention it. Everything was going too well.

"You heard that huh?" Riley walked back into the bedroom to find his boxers and Zane followed. Zane tried not to seem distracted while Riley dressed. "He's just a little over protective."

"You're just lucky that your parents are cool with you being gay. I can't even imagine if it was my mom that walked in on us."

"They weren't always accepting. When I first came out, my mom cried. She asked me if it was her fault." Riley put his shirt on and stared at Zane with sympathy. "But, that was a long time ago and she knows that this is me. She's given up trying to fix me and realized that I'm her gay son, and I always will be. Trust me, if my Dad can stand the thought of me being with a guy, I'm sure your mom will come around eventually." Riley sighed. Zane was right, as usual. But he just wasn't ready yet. "Ready stud?" Zane asked as he threw Riley his bag. The two walked out the door, and headed to Zane's car.

Their relationship was different now. It had become more serious, but it also lost some of its innocence. Although they each knew in their hearts it would work out, they couldn't help but wonder if this change was for the better.


	15. Thoughts and Decisions

Riley walked down the hallway in pure bliss from the night before. He gave every teammate, freshman and teacher a high five, a smile and occasionally a chest bump. When he tried to make up a "secret handshake" with Ms. Dawes, his friends started to become suspicious of his sudden enthusiasm.

By the lockers, Fiona and Adam sat with their noses in magazines. Fiona was reading the latest version of Vogue while Adam was ruminating over a sci-fi comic. It was a mystery to all that these two hit it off. They seemed to have nothing in common. But as long as they were happy, so was Riley.

Fiona spotted Riley down the hall and motioned to him to sit with them. Riley jogged over and made a huge leap before successfully sticking the landing in front of Fiona's locker. Adam looked up once from his magazine to see Riley grinning ear to ear with his hands shyly in his pockets before shaking his head and continuing to read.

"Hey panther!" Fiona said cheerily. Riley was too lost in thoughts of last night and that morning to comprehend Fiona's greeting. He continued to smile stupidly for a few more seconds before Adam interrupted the silence.

"You know, taking drugs to enhance your athletic performance affects your personality. You should greatly consider reducing your usage." Riley was too distracted to even face the irony of that statement. Again, he just kept smiling, like he was waiting for someone to catch onto why he was so happy. "Riley? Are you going mad?"

"Mad? ME? Naw." Riley sat down next to Fiona and wrapped his arm around her neck. She looked at him suspiciously and smiled. "I'm just learning to appreciate the greater things in life. Just like you two."

"Yeah," Adam said, laughing "Except _we_ aren't smiling like mental patients."

"Trust me." Riley whispered, "You will be some day." Holly J walked by their lockers and stopped at Fiona's feet.

"I need student council assistance stat." She said intensely as she made harsh eye contact with Fiona "Simpson is threatening to pull the plug on the big charity even next week, yet he has no problem with power squad getting new uniforms."

"Hey Holly," Riley practically sang as he looked up at her from the ground "you look nice today." Holly looked sideways at Riley, confused by his kind words.

"It's Holly _J_." She stressed as she looked at his smiling face with disgust, "Somebody must of gotten some last night." She mumbled quietly with an eye roll. Judging by the reaction, all three of them heard it. Adam glanced up from his comic book to raise an eyebrow at Riley, while Fiona's mouth spread into an open smile when she reached a point of enlightenment. Riley sat there and blushed. "I'll catch you after class? Say, 1:30 to go over our proposal to-" Fiona was too distracted by the juicy gossip that she was about to unearth to listen to Holly J's student council rant, Riley losing his virginity was way more exciting.

"Yeah uh huh, sure Holly I'll see you at one." Holly left in a huff while Fiona stared at Riley. "So, that's why you're so happy!" Riley shook his head, but wasn't successful in wiping the smile off of his face.

"No, we had too much work last night to even think of-"

"Yeah," Adam mumbled sarcastically "because every guy puts off sex for pre calculus. You did, didn't you?" He asked with a half smile.

"No further questions…" Riley's voice trailed off as he saw Zane coming down the hallway. He hopped off of the cold floor and stood right in his path so that he would see him.

"Hey you." Zane said seductively as he flashed a big flirtatious smile.

"Hey," Riley answered back as he grabbed his boyfriend's hand and pulled him closer to him. "I've been thinking about you all day."

"All day? Shouldn't you be running offensive plays through that head of yours?"

"Yeah, but they've all been intercepted with thoughts of you…and last night." He whispered. Zane laughed at Riley's corny word choice and shook his head.

"You never go light with the cheese do you?"

"Nope, not with you."

"Well, I've been thinking about you too…Like my shirt?"

"Yeah," Riley laughed as he tugged at the purple v-neck that he had picked out that morning

"My boyfriend picked it out. He has great taste."

"Sure does." Riley smiled and leaned in to give Zane a peck on the cheek before letting go of his hand. "See you after class?" Zane smiled as if to say "of course" And walked swiftly to his next class.

"OH yeah," Adam said through a joking sigh "Totally doing it."

"Oh my God!" Fiona screamed with excitement. "You have to tell me all about it." Riley made an uncomfortable face while Adam turned his nose up in disgust.

"I so don't get girls." He mumbled. Fiona ignored his comment and continued to badger Riley.

"Was it, like, everything you ever dreamed of? Did you guys cuddle afterwards, discussing your future together? When you said you loved him did he…" Riley zoned out in the middle of the last question. "Love", what a huge word. He never thought to say it all this time. He knew that he had deep feelings for Zane, but he wasn't quite sure if they could be labeled.

"I haven't told him that I love him yet." Fiona stopped talking and flashed Adam a look, but the look was not returned.

"I'm not sitting through this." Adam said as he gathered up his comics and threw his book bag over his shoulder. "Riley, I love you man but I have a history test later today and images of the battle of Ridanya are all I need in my head right now." Riley nodded at Adam as he left and Fiona wasted no time to jump on Riley's back.

"You haven't told him? But you guys had-"

"Plenty of couples take that step before saying the L word. He knows what he means to me."

"Does he? You don't think you guys are rushing some things? You know, considering-"

"I wasn't having any second thoughts. Last night was the greatest night of my life, don't ruin it for me." Fiona pursed her lips and shook her head.

"Fine," Fiona said, giving up on him "but don't come to me for help when your boyfriend starts looking for love outside of the bedroom. See you later Riley." Fiona stood up from the ground, messed Riley's hair with her right hand and began to strut to her next class. Riley shook his head, trying to erase the doubt from his mind. But what if Fiona was right? Was he even ready to fully love Zane when he hasn't even officially come out?

Riley looked up and realized that the hallway was empty and that his next class had already started. But instead of going directly to the classroom, he decided to take a detour. There were some decisions that needed to be made.

**So updating will be like 2 days apart from now on because I am doing some pretty intense sports stuff. **

**But maybe I will write a crap load of chapters over the weekend and just have them ready for you guys. Sounds like a plan to me !**


	16. Public Announcement

"Let's go Panthers!" Zane screamed from the sidelines as he watched Riley and the rest of the offensive team set up a play. There were a few seconds left in the game, and Degrassi was down by four, all they needed was a touchdown. Riley looked up and remembered what he had been taught since he had first started playing as QB: See the entire field.

Instead of passing it to Owen, which was usually first instinct, he looked to his left and saw K.C., who had found a hole in the defensive line. Riley threw a quick pass and closed his eyes. _Please let him catch it, please. _He thought as he stood there with his eyes shut. He didn't open them until he heard a huge roar from the crowd, and felt a few slaps on his back.

"Nice work QB!" , he heard.

"Show 'em how it's done K.C.!"

Riley opened his eyes to see that the entire team had rushed the field.

They had won the game.

He stood in the middle of the field smiling out of awe and relief. The first day back, he promised that he would prove himself. He was sure now that the QB1 spot was his.

"Whoo!" Zane screamed in a high-pitched voice as he hit the back of Riley's helmet. Riley threw his helmet to the ground and hugged Zane so tight that his feet lifted off the ground for a few moments. "You did it! Way to show them what they've been missing. They're never benching you again." Riley grinned and tried to thank Zane. After all, his kicking helped them from falling too far behind. But he couldn't, he was too distracted by what he had planned. He stared at the scoreboard and monitor, waiting for his surprise. "Riley? Come on, your fans are over here."

Riley knew that it had finally happened judging by the crowd's reaction. He heard a slight delay, as if they were unsure whether or not they should laugh, cry or cheer. But eventually, there was a low cheer from some of the crowd and a completely stunned football team. Riley grabbed Zane's arm and turned him toward the Monitor. Zane squinted his eyes as he read what was digitally written in all caps: RILEY STAVROS LOVES ZANE PARK. Zane blinked and looked at Riley, puzzled by his cheery expression.

"Riley," He said calmly, putting his arms over Riley's shoulders to keep him from wigging out, "whoever did this will just…It'll blow over. Everyone will assume that it was a joke." Riley laughed at Zane and put his arm around him.

"Why be ashamed of truth?" He asked quietly, so that Zane could hear him under the noise. "I want everyone to know." Zane cracked a crooked smile as he finally understood what was occurring.

"You did this." He accused as he looked at the monitor and back at Riley. "I won't question it." Riley laughed and looked at his feet. Zane blushed when he looked up to see the entire football team staring at him and Riley from various spots on the field.

"Wait!" Riley whispered loudly as it dawned on him that something was missing, "I'll be right back." Riley ran to the side of the field and motioned toward Holly J to turn up the loud speaker. Fiona ran to his side with a microphone and winked. Zane looked at everyone with an uneasy smile and felt as if he were going to melt into the ground out of embarrassment.

"Um, hey guys." Riley spoke into the microphone. The entire crowd erupted into a loud cheer. After the performance that he put on tonight, he was sure to be a Degrassi household name for one reason or another. Riley laughed into the microphone and then turned toward Zane. "I haven't been honest with some of you. Well, most of you." Riley stopped and waited for the crowd to completely quiet down.

"I've been an idiot and some of you hate me," Riley glanced at Anya who was lined up with the power squad on the outside of the field. She glanced at her feet and turned around. "and some of you don't. But I don't care about you guys." The crowd began to murmur and a couple of them sarcastically booed at Riley's painful honesty. "Sorry." He said with an unapologetic tone. He turned toward Zane and looked him in the eyes. If he really thought about what he was doing, he would immediately chicken out. So he focused on Zane's beautiful light brown eyes and said what had to be said.

"All I care about, is you. I haven't really proved that to you and I'm sorry for putting you through all of this." Riley turned toward the crowd and put up a hand and let it drop to his side "But it ends today." Zane wasn't sure if he should run for cover or jump Riley's bones. He was embarrassed…. and completely and utterly wooed.

"Zane, I love you." Some of the crowd gasped and a few "I knew its" leaked through the small crowd. A few disappointed girls screamed in protest, but surprisingly the reaction was mostly approving. Seeing the pure humiliation on Zane's face caused Riley to drop the microphone to the ground and walk toward him. "And this is my way of proving it to you." Riley cut his eyes toward Adam who was standing on the sideline next to a squealing Fiona.

"That's my cue." Adam said as he left her side to jog onto the field. He quickly handed the box to Riley and then stepped awkwardly out from between the intimidating football players. Fiona smiled at him, put her arm on his shoulder and smiled, causing Adam to flinch.

"I give you this," Riley said softly, not wanting anyone to hear "because I want people to see it and know you're with me. I want you to look at it everyday and think of me and know I'm thinking of you, and that I'm not ashamed of us. " Riley took a silver band from the box and held out his left hand. Zane looked at Riley hesitantly with an awkward smile and squinted his eyes. "Don't worry, it's just a promise ring. As in I promise it won't turn your finger green." Zane laughed out of relief, which made Riley relax. Zane hadn't said a word since Riley began speaking.

Zane finally lifted his hand and let Riley slide the ring on his finger. Zane noticed that Riley was already wearing his.

"So," Zane said slowly, finally collecting himself enough to speak "What exactly does all this mean?"

"That we're official official…. I hope."

"Do you think saying the word twice gives it more meaning?" Riley looked at Zane, confused and slightly hurt. "Sorry, I just don't know what else to say right now." Riley looked at Zane through emotional eyes. He could see that the crowd had begun to dissipate, assuming that the show was over.

"Maybe, a declaration of some sort? Beginning with 'I'…".Zane smirked and grabbed the front of Riley's jersey.

"I'm the luckiest guy on earth?" Riley shook his head and laughed.

"Try again."

"I can't wait to bring you home tonight." He said quietly.

"Okay, that one I like, but that's not it. Zane, be serious I need to know-"

_Riley Stavros he's your guy,_

_ Give it a shot don't be so shy! _

Riley stared wildly at the power squad as they began to cheer.

_Come on Zane it's way past due_

_ Tell him that you love him too!_

Riley looked at the power squad and gave them a thumbs up. He never made arrangements for the power squad to cheer, but it was a nice touch. He searched the group of girls and caught Anya's eye. She winked at him from the sideline, and then motioned for him to turn around. Zane laughed and pulled Riley off of the field to take the focus of attention off of the two of them.

"I love you too." He said excitedly. Riley leaned in and kissed Zane before intertwining his fingers with his. Zane continued to smile while Riley's face fell.

"…You know what I didn't consider before I planned this?" Riley asked quietly as he looked around the field.

"What?" Zane said in a giddy manner.

"How awkward the bus ride back is going to be." Riley nodded toward the team and Zane turned around to look. Some of them stood there looking confused, others disgusted and most in plain shock. "If they keep their mouths hanging open like that they're gonna start catching flies. Zane pulled Riley toward the bus. He stopped at the door and before getting on the bus said:

"True, but did you think of how hot it's gonna be when we finally get home?" Riley stood at the door of the bus with a smile and then quickly followed his boyfriend to the back. He no longer cared what others thought or felt and at this point he had absolutely no other choice but to take everything that was handed to him, with a smile.

I know guys it was super campy. But hey, every fanfic needs to have the pivotal cheesy moments

I'll update Sat!


	17. Never Have I Ever

Zane and Riley had just returned from the celebratory team dinner that was held at The Dot. The team, although clearly confused and taken aback by what had occurred on the field, was way too proud of the victory to even address it. Fortunately for Riley and Zane, they were treated the same way that they were treated before.

Riley opened the door to Zane's apartment and dropped his things in the hall. They were both still wearing their jerseys and team jackets but their dirty pads were left in their bags.

"I still can't believe you did that." Zane said with a laugh as he walked over to the fridge.

"Me neither." Riley blew out a breath and fell onto Zane's couch. Zane walked into the living room with two bottles in his hand, but stopped when he saw Riley's feet resting on the arm of the couch. Riley caught Zane's disapproving eye and quickly moved his feet. "Sorry."

"What gave you the guts? It was so… avant-garde and out of character." Zane sat down beside Riley on the couch and handed him a cold bottle.

"Well, I don't know what avant-garde means but…yes, yes it was." They both laughed and stared at each other's smiles. Zane broke the silence by clanking his bottle against Riley's.

"Cheers." Riley looked down at the bottle and back up at Zane.

"You didn't strike me as a beer guy."

"And why not?"

"You're way too cute to be chugging beer." Zane looked sideways at Riley as he took a swig out of his bottle and then gave him a half smile.

"I'm a football _and_ soccer player, and a committed follower of both sports. Trust me, I'm a beer guy." Riley drank out of his bottle as well and looked at Zane, impressed more than he was surprised.

"What else don't I know about you?" Zane laughed and then stood up to grab the remote control from the shelf next to the television.

"Way too much to list." Riley looked down between his feet and then sideways at Zane as he sat down. That comment honestly hurt him. He pushed it aside and scooted toward Zane so that he would sense that he was genuinely curious.

"Like what?" Zane looked at Riley and smirked.

"What's with all the questions?" Riley shrugged in response and Zane turned the T.V. off before swinging his legs over Riley's lap.

"Well, when I was five I broke my left leg falling out of a tree." Riley rolled his eyes and rested his arms on Zane's legs.

"Poor baby. But, not that kind of stuff. I mean, serious stuff." Zane leaned back against the arm of the couch and sipped his beer while he thought. Riley could see that Zane was struggling to think of anything and immediately thought of an idea.

"Here, let's play 'never have I ever'." Zane looked at Riley out of suspicion and raised an eyebrow. "It's easy, you say "never have I ever…" And then something you've never done. And if you've done it you take a sip, or two, and if you haven-"

"I know how to play, I just don't know why we would when you could just ask me. Plus, it's no fun with two people." Riley raised his eyebrows and tried to look seductive.

"Trust me, it can be a lot of fun with two people…" Riley said in a sexy voice. Zane smirked and then retracted his legs so that Riley could face him.

"Okay…you first." He challenged. Riley gulped and stared at the couch.

"Um…" Zane bit his lip and looked between his legs to keep himself from laughing at Riley's dwindling confidence. It was funny how he was overly confident a moment ago, but now he was shy. Almost like a little boy.

"We'll start off slow." Zane said encouragingly. Riley sighed, embarrassed by his hesitancy, and nodded. "Never have I ever…gone skiing." Riley took a sip and smiled.

"Never have I ever gone skydiving."

"Never have I ever gone skinny dipping." When Riley took yet another sip of his beer Zane laughed and shook his head.

"No way. When?" Riley opened his mouth and then closed it again. Embarrassed to tell his story, but then he looked up to see Zane urging him on with his eyes and he decided that there were things that were way more embarrassing than his story.

"At camp, when I was twelve. The guys and I thought it would be fun to skinny dip on the last night since we were specifically told not to swim in the lake unattended and, well, keeping your clothes on was implied." Zane chuckled at Riley's joke and waited for him to continue. "But um, the worst part was I was watching my friend, Reed, jump in the water. And I got a…" Riley widened his eyes to imply what he didn't want to say and Zane squinted his eyes and laughed in response. "Yeah, believe me I jumped into that water as fast as I could." Zane suddenly busted out laughing causing Riley to laugh as well. The boys re-composed themselves after a few moments and sighed. "Yeah, so that's my story. Anyway, never have I ever… fooled around in a public place."

"Nuh-uh." Zane interjected as he shifted on the couch so that he was sitting Indian style. "We do at the movies practically everytime."

"Yeah, but does that really count? I mean everyone does that." Zane nodded and turned down the corners of his mouth.

"Okay, I see where you're coming from." He said playfully. But he still took a drink. Riley refrained from asking Zane who he had fooled around with and where because he knew it would only make him upset. Luckily, Zane moved on and didn't bother to explain. "Never have I ever had sex without a condom."

"Good to know. Never have I ever…gone down on a guy wearing a football jersey." Zane looked down at his jersey and then at Riley's and laughed. Riley was relieved when Zane didn't drink out of his bottle. Obviously Zane could tell because immediately afterward he said:

"Well, not yet anyway." Riley laughed and hugged his knees to his chest. "Never have I ever had a boyfriend as sexy as you." Zane mumbled.

"Never have I ever been in love until now." Riley said with a smile. Zane hesitated as his smile began to fade. He would have to tell Riley eventually how serious he and his ex boyfriend were. But he figured that it wasn't the time, so he didn't drink.


	18. Never Have I Ever part 2

"Never have I ever been so turned on." Zane said, distracting Riley.

"Never have I ever wanted to rip off your clothes so badly in my life."

"Never have I ever had sex on this couch." Riley set his beer down and crawled on top of Zane. He took the beer out of Zane's hand as well and put it next to his. Riley kissed Zane lightly on the lips before making eye contact. Then he kissed him more passionately and ran his hands down his side. After a few minutes Zane pulled away and pressed his nose against Riley's. "Sit back." He whispered in between breaths. "I'll go down first." Riley breathed heavily and shook his head as he leaned in to kiss Zane again.

"No, my turn." Riley tore off Zane's jeans and was about to grab at his underwear when Zane stopped him.

"Wait, how about I get…" Riley looked up at him and nodded, slightly dizzy and out of breath. It was better that Zane get the condom before they go too far, when they waited too long it was hard to stop. Zane ran to his room in his jersey and briefs and returned with a box of condoms. He stood in front of Riley as he tried to open the box.

"You should wear that to school everyday." Zane smirked as he struggled with the stubborn box. He glanced up at Riley once before he continued to tear at the package.

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah. Except I'd probably fail math if you did. So on second thought…" Zane laughed once and finally got the box open. He took out two condoms and threw them on the table. Riley glanced at them, nervous that there were two of them, but didn't say anything.

Riley flipped Zane over so that he was lying on the couch and pulled down his underwear. As he went down on him his mind was thinking of other things. Of how experienced Zane was and how he really didn't want to bottom, but he felt that he had to. He was so distraught that he didn't feel Zane tap his shoulder, or hear him wince, or, as a last resort pull on Riley's hair.

"Ow! Riley," Riley looked up at Zane and blushed. "your teeth…"

"God, sorry." Riley was embarrassed but ignored it as he went back down again. This time, Zane's moans were approving. Riley stopped before Zane got too close and took a chug of beer. Zane giggled remembering the game and went down on Riley next. Afterward, he took a swig of beer as well.

The two continued to grab at each other and kiss while lying on the couch. Zane was on top of Riley, trying to get him used to being submissive. Zane began to pump his hand quickly, too quickly. Riley grabbed onto Zane's jersey and blurted:

"Never have I ever came too early!" Zane stopped, catching the hint, and looked at Riley, who was red as a tomato. Zane laughed into Riley's ear. And surprisingly, picked up his beer and drank. Riley loosened up then and pulled Zane back toward him.

"Never have I ever fucked a QB while wearing my Jersey."

"Never have I ever been on bottom." Riley whispered softly. Zane stopped and looked Riley in the eyes, recognizing his nervousness. Zane pressed his and Riley's forehead together and then looked him in the eyes.

"You're gonna have to relax. You don't want your muscles to be tense." Riley nodded slowly and attempted to relax all of his muscles. "It's easier if you're on your stomach." Riley turned around, nervous, but almost relieved, that he wouldn't have to watch the first time. Zane took his hands and rubbed them over Riley's shoulders and under his jersey, trying to get him to calm down. He could feel that he was scared. "Trust me." Zane took out one of the pre-lubricated condoms and put it on. He laid on Riley before doing anything. He pushed Riley's hair away from his face so that he could lean into his ear. "You ready?" he asked softly.

The sound of Zane's voice and the feeling that went through his entire body as his boyfriend's breath hit the side of his face was enough to make him more than ready. He nodded yes, and gripped the pillow in front of him.

Zane said it would hurt, but Riley had no idea it would be that bad. The first few minutes weren't pleasure full, just painful. He would tell Zane to stop so that he could collect himself and Zane would wait for the okay to begin again. But with Zane whispering in his ear and asking if he was okay, Riley felt safe and eventually, he felt good. When Riley's groans turned from groans of pain to gratitude, Zane smiled.

"Is that good?" Zane whispered sweetly as he continued to move over top of Riley, using one hand to run his fingers through his hair, and the other to grip his sides under his jersey. Riley didn't respond, but his moans were enough for Zane to figure out the answer. Riley no longer felt much pain until Zane pulled out again. Riley looked behind him and then turned so that he was on his back. He saw Zane standing next to him, breathing heavy and slightly red in the face. Riley grabbed the bottom of Zane's jersey and tried to gain his breath.

"Wait, why'd you stop?" he asked breathily. Zane laughed and laid down on the couch with his legs open.

"Cause it's your turn."

The two of them made love practically all night, and although it went more smoothly when Zane was on bottom it was completely amazing. When they finished, they both finished their beers and laughed. Their jerseys eventually made it to the floor during the night, but they had still done at least four things that neither of them had ever done before.

"Never have I ever had sex that great." Zane said as he nuzzled Riley's neck as they lay side by side on the couch.

"We should play that game more often." Riley smiled and looked at the digital clock next to the couch.

"Damnit. Am I ever gonna get this right?" Riley threw his head back and groaned. Zane looked up at him out of concern.

"What's wrong?"

"It's 12:30 in the morning. My mom's gonna kill me." Zane sighed and stood up to grab Riley's Jersey off the floor so that he could toss it to him.

"I should have reminded you."

"No, it's my fault." Riley pulled on his jeans without bothering to find his underwear and pulled his jersey over his head, causing his curly hair to go every which way. Riley tried to pull himself off of the couch and winced. A sharp pain shot through his backside. "Maybe, staying here is a better idea." He whispered as he sat back down. Zane frowned and sat next to Riley. Zane had put on his jeans, ready to take Riley home.

"I forgot to tell you about that. It's gonna feel that way for a while." Riley rubbed his forehead and shook his head.

"Zane, I can't go home like this. I have beer breath, I can't stand-thanks to you." Zane smiled to himself out of pride, but the corners of his mouth dropped when he saw that Riley was upset. "And it's fucking 1 in the morning. What do I tell her?"

"The truth." Riley looked Zane in the eyes and panicked. He wasn't ready to tell his mom yet. "Which is that you didn't see the blitz coming, hurt our tailbone on the hard ground and came back to my house to recuperate after seeing the athletic trainer. On top of that your phone died, which is why you didn't call." Riley smiled softly and kissed Zane on the forehead.

"You're the best. I'm sorry." Zane looked down as Riley limped toward the bathroom.

"It's okay" He lied. It was never okay to him. But, he had grown to love Riley too much to risk complaining. "I'll wait."


	19. Old History

Riley walked into the kitchen the next morning to see Zane sitting at the table, eating a piece of toast and reading a newspaper. He was wearing only yoga pants and flip flops, and for the first time in a while, his glasses. Riley walked up behind him and grabbed a piece of toast off of his plate.

"Hey!" Zane said loudly as he tried to grab Riley's arm.

"Morning." Riley walked to the fridge and pulled out a pitcher of orange juice then grabbed a glass out of the pantry. "Why are you up so early on a Saturday morning?" Zane shrugged and tossed the newspaper aside. He leaned on both elbows over the table and took another bite of toast.

"I don't know. I'm always up early." Zane looked up at Riley as he chugged two glasses of OJ and that sat in the seat in front of Zane. Zane glanced at the newspaper once more and his face lit up. "Hey, Brazil won the other night." Riley looked at his boyfriend and tilted his head out of confusion. "Soccer?" Riley sighed and shook his head.

"Sorry, don't follow." Zane shrugged and stood up to put his plate in the sink. Riley always felt strange when their interests didn't connect. He almost felt like it would make Zane like him less. "But, how did you get so into soccer anyway?"

"Well," Zane began as he began washing the dishes. "I played when I was younger, and uh, my ex actually was a really intense player so I started playing again." Riley looked up at mention of Zane's ex. The guy was talked about quite a bit, but Riley knew nothing about him.

"So, what's up with this ex of yours? If you don't mind me asking." Zane turned and smiled at Riley for being considerate.

"Its okay, you can ask. His name was Rafael. But I just called him Mat." Riley sat back in his seat as Zane returned with a banana and sat down in front of him.

"Mat?"

"Yeah his third name was Matheus." Riley scrunched up his face when his boyfriend wasn't looking. How was he supposed to compete with a guy that had four names?

"Sounds exotic."

"Yeah, his dad's from Brazil and his mom is a traveling businesswoman from New York. He was living with his parents in Brazil until they got divorced. So his mom moved to Toronto for business, he came with her and that's how we met. But he's uh, back in Brazil now." He said it as if he told the story a million times before. It was odd but Riley didn't seem to sense any remorse from Zane. He seemed completely calm and almost happy when he spoke of his ex.

"Why'd you guys break up?" Zane paused and finished his banana before answering.

"I don't know just…didn't work out I guess." Zane looked around his apartment avoiding Riley's eye but Riley didn't notice his shifty behavior. He was just relieved that Zane didn't seem to be holding feelings for this guy.

"First, a Brazilian soccer player, now a Greek quarterback…what's next? A British rugby player?"

"Mm, I was thinking more of a Caribbean point guard." Riley laughed, happy that Zane wasn't too touchy about the subject. Zane stood up and went to grab his car keys off of the counter. Riley watched him intently. He watched whatever Zane did with admiration. Whether he was making a field goal, doing his homework or brushing his teeth, Riley couldn't take his eyes off of him.

"Ready? Time to take you home." Riley stood up reluctantly and stared down at his dirty football jersey. He brought it up to his nose and sniffed.

"Ew," Riley said as he morphed his face into a look of utter disgust. "I smell like sex and manure."

"Don't forget victory!" Zane shouted from down the hall. Riley shook off the scent and grabbed his things. Zane was leaving the house just as he was: shirtless with tight yoga pants.

"Not that I mind but do you plan on putting any clothes on?"

"Nope, maybe I'll distract your mom from your bad lying." Riley shrugged and followed Zane out of the door.

"Zane, why can't I stay for the weekend?" Zane stopped walking and stared back at Riley.

"I mean, you could but you'd be spending a lot of time alone or with my mom." Riley shrugged.

"I don't mind."

"I mean, me and some guys are playing a game in about two hours…" Riley felt hurt when he realized that Zane wasn't planning on inviting him to play soccer. Riley knew that he was a quarterback all the way, and his footwork wasn't it's best but he could at least watch. He _had_ been water boy for practically half of the season after all.

"I could still watch…" Riley said wearily, afraid of his boyfriend's answer. Zane hesitated but than began to nod.

"Okay, yeah you can watch."

"Sorry that I'll never really be able to play with you." Riley said, trying to keep himself from imagining Zane and his super hot Brazilian ex boyfriend juggling a soccer ball and making out in the middle of the field. Riley and Zane would never have that.

"Riley," Zane said sweetly as he began to walk toward him "we have football. We do that together."

"Yeah but that's something I like. I don't know I feel like, I don't spend enough time trying to get to know your world and your friends." Zane reopened the door and followed Riley back into the apartment.

"Riley, we've been together for three months. Not counting the month long break we took in between. I'm not holding anything against you, okay?" Riley nodded and took a seat on the couch. "I'm gonna go shower and get dressed and then we'll be on the road ok?" Riley nodded solemnly and tried not to look too distraught. Zane grabbed the sides of Riley's face and stared at him. "You're so cute." He whispered as he kissed Riley on the nose. "You have nothing to worry about."

Riley tried to avoid thinking about it, but he felt that he didn't compare to the connection that Zane and his ex shared. The only thing they really had in common was football, and that was only because Zane insisted on joining. Riley hadn't done anything to involve himself in the other aspects of Zane's life.

Riley knew how he felt about Zane, his first time was with him, and their relationship was spontaneous and full of life and he knew that even if they didn't end up together, he would always love and remember Zane. But what about Riley? He worried that he would never end up meaning that much to Zane if they split. Like he would eventually end up being another notch on his belt. Zane's South American ex-boyfriend however, would probably always be on his mind.


	20. Unwanted Visitor

A month later and Riley and Zane were still together. Riley eventually convinced Zane to start spending nights at his house and obviously Riley's mother didn't refuse. Riley was still trying to work up the courage to come out to his mom and Zane didn't bother to mention his frustration over the topic. Zane had told his dad about Riley, but the two have yet to meet.

As for Anya, she and Riley made up after she helped him win Zane over and Zane's forgiveness soon followed.

There were a lot of things that were going great with Riley and Zane's relationship, but their were also things that were secretly going wrong that neither of them were willing to risk bringing up.

Riley sat at The Dot talking to Peter. The last week of football season had passed, and he finally had time to himself. Peter had just gotten off shift, it was odd seeing him in something other than his work uniform.

"Ready?" Peter asked as he threw on his jacket.

"Yeah, let's go."

"Oh! Wait." Peter walked back behind the counter and grabbed the dishcloth and began to wipe the table. "Sorry, some asshole came in earlier and put his dirty cleats on the table." Riley scrunched his face in response and pointed to a spot that Peter missed. "Thanks. Yeah he was all 'I'm best player in league, colleges all over world want me for team.' I was like, 'Dude, then what are you doing here?'" Riley laughed at his friends relentless sarcasm.

"What'd he say?"

"Said he was visiting someone, family friend I guess." Riley nodded and sighed.

"Athletes."

"Yeah, but as soon as I was sure he was the biggest jerk off ever he came back and apologized. And look," Peter said excitedly as he dug through his pocket "fifty dollar tip." He said as he waved the bill in front of Riley's face. Riley looked at it once and lifted his eyebrows.

"Lucky you. Sure he wasn't uh, expecting some extra service with that tip?" Peter laughed and shook his head.

"Nah, he was a total ladies man. Every girl in this place was staring at him." Riley pushed on the door of The Dot and stopped at Peter's car.

"Can we get some pizza? I'm starving."

"You joking? I would kill for something other than hot sandwiches and coffee. I don't get how people eat at The Dot every freaking day."

Riley and Peter sat at the pizza parlor, laughing about the past few days at school.

"I'm serious man," Peter said as he leaned over the table, "she insisted on keeping her wig on the entire time. She started crying cause I kept laughing cause it kept falling off every five seconds…" Peter's voice trailed off as he continued to laugh. Riley's face was bright red as he tried not to blow soda out of his nose.

"Dude, you've gotta stop picking up random girls, huge mistake."

"That was the only time something like that happened. Other than that, college has been pretty smooth."

"Well, I'm glad to hear it." The waitress came back with the check and quickly placed it on the table. Peter dug into his pocket and pulled out the 50 dollars he had gotten earlier.

"I got this." Peter said boastfully as he placed the bill on the table. The waitress picked it up without looking and walked back toward the register to get Peter's change. "Oh, dude. There's the guy from earlier." Riley turned around and followed Peter's finger to the doorway. There stood a tall, ridiculously tan guy with dark brown hair just over his eyes. He was wearing aviator sunglasses, a bright yellow polo shirt and dark jeans that looked to cost hundreds of unnecessary dollars.

"Wow," Riley said as he turned around and smiled. "he even looks like a tool." Riley turned around once more and watched the guy remove his sunglasses, revealing bright green eyes and a perfectly chisled face. "a hot tool." Peter smirked and turned his attention back to the waitress.

"I'm sorry," she said with a lopsided condescending smile, "I can't take this. We only take Canadian money." Peter grabbed the money and gave the bill a once over. He bit his lip and cursed under his breath.

"Yo, what the fuck's a Reais?" Riley shrugged and shook his head. "That asshole. Listen, Riley I'll be right back I've gotta go get some _Canadian_ money out of my car." He said, stressing the word Canadian so that the douche bag from earlier could hear him. Riley looked confused, and grabbed the bill off of the table as Peter left. He stared at the money for a moment or two and turned it over. He had never seen it before.

He looked at the top of the bill and read what was written and his face drained. Peter returned from his car and sat back down in front of Riley. He took out his wallet and started to leaf through his money.

"That's a sick joke to pull. What am I supposed to do with that money? I don't even know where it's from." Peter looked up when Riley didn't respond and saw that he looked pale. "Riley? Riley? Dude, if you're gonna barf…" Riley shook his head and pushed the bill across the table, pointing to the print on the top of it. "Banco central do Brasil…how did I _not_ see that?" Riley ignored Peter and grabbed the bill and crumpled it in his fist. "Whoa! Okay I _was_ gonna convert that." Riley shook his head and stood up from the table. "wait Riley, where you going?"

Riley walked toward the door swiftly with too many thoughts running through his head. He could be paranoid, he couldn't possibly have come all the way from Brazil.

"Mat, your table's ready." Riley looked over to see who it was that responded to the reservation, sure enough the guy in the yellow polo stood up and walked toward the waitress, making brief, harsh eye contact with Riley before walking to his table.

**Yooo so I'm using these chapters to set up for some drama and other stuff haha sooo be patient with me, the good stuff is coming.**

** And people were wondering how long this fanfic is gonna be? I don't know, what do you guys think? I was considering stopping around 30?**


	21. A Piece of Truth

Maybe Riley was making a mistake to assume that Zane knew that Mat had returned, but it wasn't completely unreasonable. Riley ran up to Zane's apartment door and knocked once, than twice and eventually five times before his mom answered. Riley looked shocked and embarrassed to see an irritated Mrs. Park standing at the door.

"Oh, s-sorry I…Is Zane here?" Riley must have looked really distressed, because Zane's mother's face softened which was rare for her. She reached out and touched Riley's shoulder.

"No, he's out. You okay Riley?" Riley shrugged her hand off and nodded.

"Yeah, when will he be back?"

"I don't know." Mrs. Park answered slowly and almost defensively because of all the questions Riley was asking.

"Well where'd he go?" Mrs. Park looked upward and sighed. Sometimes she felt that Riley and Zane were way too involved for being eighteen. She felt that it was none of Riley's business what Zane was doing every second of every day and vice versa.

"Riley, would you like to come in and wait for him?" Riley breathed out and nodded.

"Yeah that would be good, sorry." Riley stormed passed Mrs. Park and directed himself to Zane's room where he sat on the bed. Mrs. Park watched Riley walk by, and shook her head out of pity.

Riley sat there and planned what he would say to Zane? Should he act angry or curious when he asked if Zane knew that Mat was coming back? Would it maybe be best if he didn't bring it up at all?

In the midst of his thoughts Riley heard the front door open and shut and the sound of Zane's voice.

"Riley's waiting for you…" he heard say. A few moments later Zane came through the door. Riley stood up, grinning. Obviously he wasn't going to act angry. He hadn't really seen Zane in a few days, and he couldn't get mad at that face. Zane smiled just as big, dropped his bags on the ground and ran so that he could jump into Riley's arms. Zane leaned back in Riley's grip so that he could kiss him on the lips before pressing his nose to his.

"Hey beautiful." Riley whispered with his arms wrapped tightly around Zane's lower back. Zane smiled and kissed Riley again.

"Hey stud. I missed you." Riley leaned back slightly to make eye contact with Zane.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, it was weird not seeing you everyday," Zane said as he separated himself from Riley to put his grocery bag in the kitchen. He continued talking when he came back. "felt like I was missing an arm or something." Riley smiled to himself. Here he was worrying about some guy that Zane hadn't talked to in about a year and Zane was thinking about him the entire time they were apart. He felt like a jerk.

"Yeah, me too." Riley decided not to ask Zane about Mat. It wasn't that important anyway.

"I have a surprise for you." Zane said as he pushed Riley back onto the bed. Zane took his jacket off and Riley raised an eyebrow.

"Whatever it is, I like it already." Zane smirked and shook his head at his boyfriend as he reached into his jacket pocket.

"It's not that kind of surprise." Zane pulled out a very mini manila envelope with Riley's name on it and threw it to him. "Here, open it." Riley looked up at Zane who waited with anticipation as Riley finally began to open the enevelope. He pulled out a key and half smiled.

"What's this?"

"Guess."

"Ummm, the key to your heart?" Zane laughed and sat down next to Riley.

"Nope, guess again."

"The key to your chastity belt?" Zane raised an eyebrow at Riley and laughed out of one side of his mouth at the irony of the statement. Riley widened his eyes and nodded in agreement. "You're right. You in a chastity belt is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." Riley stopped laughing for a moment and stared at the key in his hand. He recognized the pattern as the key that Zane had in his pocket, which was the key to his apartment.

"I just figured that you practically live here already, so why not give you the freedom to come and go as you please?" Riley's face lit up as he stared at the key, shocked and in disbelief.

"Wow, Zane this is great. How would your mom feel?"

"Don't worry, I had to ask her permission first. She wasn't gung ho about it but she didn't object." Riley admired the key once more and then his boyfriend, who was smiling sheepishly. "So?"

"Yeah, wow …I mean this is the first time I've ever had a key to someone else's place." Riley said, looking at Zane expectantly. He wanted Zane to say 'me too' but it didn't follow. Instead it was that familiar awkward glance at the floor and the walls that he would do when he was trying to avoid something. "But, it's not for you?" Riley said bravely as he tried to catch Zane's eye. "Zane, I have the right to know. How serious were you and Mat anyway?" Zane sighed and kicked his shoes onto the floor so that he could face Riley sitting Indian style. Riley mirrored him to make him feel more comfortable.

"When I was almost seventeen, me and Mat were just starting to go out. He encouraged me to come out to my parents and uh, let's just say I needed a new place to live afterward. Him and his parents opened their arms to me and so I stayed there, for a few months."

"Did his parents know?"

"That me and him were…? Yeah. We stayed in the same room and everything. They had no problem with it." Zane paused to twiddle his thumbs for a moment before continuing. "Even after I began talking to my parents again, and they decided that I needed to go home, I stayed with him. We were dependent on each other, it felt strange to be apart for more than an hour." In between Zane's pauses in the story it was dead silent, Riley didn't dare say a word. "I remember it was the night that I showed up on his doorstep, crying, babbling, talking about how my parents kicked me out and he said nothing, he simply pulled me into the house and held me, for about and hour. The only thing he actually said was that he loved me, and he said It over and over. It was actually the first time he ever said that."

Riley squirmed uncomfortably at the mention of the l word. He and Zane had only said it to each other few times since Riley's huge announcement on the football field. It made him feel like it was rushed, and that neither of them really felt it.

At this point, Riley was staring straight ahead. He had adjusted himself on the bed so that he was no longer facing Zane. He hated seeing Zane's facial expression as he remembered these things, he seemed to miss Mat.

"Then we were inseparable, We began doing everything together…I remember," Riley looked up to stare at Zane and realized that it was a mistake. Zane was smiling widely. "Every time that he didn't see me for a day or so, he would do really cute things. One time he went away to a camp for a week and he arranged before hand for someone to send me something special every day he was away…almost felt like he never left."

"Sounds like you two really loved each other." Riley paused to see Zane's response, which was a light awkward nod. "If you guys were so perfect why'd you two break up?" Zane hesitated and looked at his feet, he wanted to lie and say that they got into a fight, or that they had no sexual connection, or that Mat cheated on him or something. But it was none of that.

"We weren't perfect. We had our problems. But, We broke up because he was moving back to Brazil. We had no choice." The room became so silent that you could hear a pin drop. Riley was leaning on his knees staring down at the floor, trying to keep himself from jumping up and screaming. He couldn't believe that the only reason the two broke up was because Mat moved back to Brazil. He also couldn't believe that Mat was back, and Riley knew exactly why he returned.

Riley sat with his back to Zane and began breathing heavily.

"One more thing," Riley said trying to keep his composure "If Mat hadn't of left, would you too still be together?" Zane sniffed causing Riley to look back up at him.

"Honestly, I don't know."


	22. Competition

That night, Riley had arranged for Anya, Fiona, Adam and Drew to meet him at a new place. At first they were just going to go straight to The Dot so that they could watch the new band perform, but Riley thought it would be best to eat somewhere else. He was avoiding common tourist spots as best as he could to prevent Zane from running into Mat.

When Riley arrived, Fiona, Adam and Drew were already there. Fiona and Adam were practically sitting on top of each other, and Drew was sitting at the opposite side of the table texting so quickly that his phone was on the verge of malfunctioning.

"Hey guys." Riley said lack luster as he took a seat next to Drew who looked relieved that he didn't have to be alone with Adam and Fiona anymore.

"Hey dude." Drew leaned into Riley so that he would hear his whisper. "Thank God you're here. Hanging with these two is like watching Titanic, When Harry Met Sally and Gone With the Wind…all at once." Riley laughed and cracked a smile for the first time in the past two hours. He had left Zane's place right after the conversation about Mat, he was paranoid that if he stayed, he would say or do something that he would regret.

"Someone's feeling lonely." Adam said to Drew sarcastically with a slow eye roll.

"Am not. Okay, I have a hot girl too…" Drew's voice trailed off as he reached into his pocket and grabbed his phone "she's just not talking to me right now."

"Here, let me." Fiona said with authority as she grabbed the phone out of Drew's hand and began to text. "Done." She said, handing it back to him.

"What'd you say?" Fiona shrugged smugly and looked off into the distance with a smile on her face. Drew rolled his eyes and put his phone into his pocket. A few seconds later, Anya walked through the door and sat down next to Riley.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late."

"It's okay," Riley said somberly "Zane's still not here."

"Where is he? Maybe we can meet up with him." Riley shrugged; embarrassed that he didn't know his boyfriend's whereabouts. His embarrassment must have been obvious because Drew began to reassure him.

"Dude, you're lucky. This one," He said referring to his phone "wants to know where I am every second of every day." After that Drew's phone began to buzz as if on cue. He opened the text and his eyes widened. "And, I've got business to attend to…see you guys later." Riley, Anya and Adam looked skeptic but Fiona maintained her smug smile.

"Your welcome!" she called after him as he practically ran out of the door. "What can I say, I'm a genius." She said, sitting back in her chair.

A few minutes later, Zane walked in the door looking rushed.

"Sorry I had something to take care of."

"What?" Riley asked eagerly.

"Nothing just some stuff."

"What stuff?" Zane looked at Riley suspiciously and pulled out the chair that Drew was just sitting in.

"Could I at least sit down first before you start bombarding me with questions?" Riley sat back in his chair and rubbed his hand over his face.

"Sorry. Forget it." Adam, Fiona and Anya exchanged glances and then picked up the menus as if they were in sync. Zane sensed that it was slightly awkward so he tried to change the subject.

"Where's Drew?"

"Out." Fiona said proudly as she looked over her menu for a moment.

Zane shrugged and looked at the menu that Riley was holding in front of him. Riley felt Zane over his shoulder and turned his head to plant an awkward kiss on his lips. For some reason the kiss threw them both off guard and caused them both to pause for a moment. Riley and Zane locked eyes and exchanged a moment of understanding. The kiss had said: I'm sorry, I love you and I need you all at once, and it was overwhelming for both of them. The other three sensed that the kiss wasn't just a friendly peck and stayed silent. None of them wanted to ask what had happened earlier.

"Everyone know what they want?" Anya asked as they all gathered their menus together. The friends ordered and began talking about other things, trying to lighten up the mood.

"So, I was talking to Holly J and Simpson said he was going to have a Fall Athletes Award Ceremony." Fiona said excitedly "It's supposed to be this huge thing held in the auditorium recognizing some of Degrassi's star players. What do you guys think?"

"I think this school cares way too much about sports." Adam said as he rolled his eyes. He looked up to see Zane and Riley smiling awkwardly. "No offense." He added quickly.

"Well, I think it would be great." Anya said with a smile. "And maybe the power squad could perform?"

"Yeah, I'll see what I can do."

"If you guys need someone to help out, I'll do it." Zane offered.

"Yeah actually, it's funny Holly needs a male and female host and she was hoping that you and Anya would be willing to present." Zane smiled and looked excitedly at Anya.

"Yeah! That would be awesome." Riley tried to hide his jealousy. He wondered why Zane was offered the job instead of him. He was QB1, he should be doing all of the social events. But then he glanced at Zane's friendly stature, his blinding smile and his adorable mannerisms and realized that Zane was made for these types of things, he was a people person. Just as Riley's jealousy had faded, he heard the door open behind him but he ignored it and continued to laugh with his friends.

"I recognize that smile anywhere." Riley heard the voice and refused to turn around. Judging by the awestruck look on Anya and Fiona's face, and the disgusted look on Adam's he knew exactly who it was. Riley glanced fearfully at Zane and saw him do a double take. When Zane recognized the face, his smile faded slightly and then widened again. Zane jumped up and started walking toward the door, and as he neared Mat he began walking faster. Riley looked on with horror in his heart as Mat grabbed Zane by the waist with his strong hands and pulled him into a long embrace. After a few moments Zane pushed away lightly, but Mat still had his arms resting around Zane's torso. "I didn't think it was possible for you to be any more beautiful than you were before. But just look at you."

Adam interrupted the moment by pretending to gag. Riley looked at him thankfully as Zane's attention returned to the table. However, he didn't walk back.

"What are you doing here?" He said with a smile as Mat put his arm around his shoulder.

"What do you think? I'm here for you."


	23. Competition part 2

Zane stood there, too stunned to move but regained the conscience to swiftly remove Mat's arm from his shoulder.

"How'd you know I'd be here?"

"I didn't, I just was walking by and saw you. Your smile is like sky light, I can see from miles away." Zane looked down and blushed. He loved how Mat's English was even more broken when he was excited. "It was like…what is the word," Mat glanced around awkwardly turning red as he tried to remember the word, "destiny!" Zane laughed but his smile quickly faded as he turned back toward his friends. "Are you going to introduce me?" Zane hesitated and tried to avoid looking into Mat's striking green eyes. He could never say no to him when they made eye contact. His eyes had the ability to put Zane into a trance.

Mat could see Zane avoiding eye contact and he used a finger to lift his face "are you?" Zane looked into Mat's eyes and nodded slowly, hesitantly walking toward the table.

As Zane approached the table with Mat closely following, all conversation ceased and everyone turned to stare at Mat, except Riley.

"Guys, this is Mat…"

"Hello." Mat said cheerily. Anya raised her eyebrows at the sound of his accent, but lowered them when she saw Riley struggling to control his anger.

"Mat this is Anya."

"Hi!" she said politely as she awkwardly waved.

"Fiona,"

"Hola."

"Adam,"

Adam said nothing, he glanced at Mat once and then rolled his eyes. "Who pops their collar anyway?" he whispered harshly in Fiona's ear. Fiona nudged him with her elbow and he reluctantly sat up straight and locked eyes with Mat. "Hey."

"And Riley." Riley was hunched over with his hand over his forehead, trying to seem as closed off as possible. After the silence turned to long, he turned his head only a little to glance at Mat who didn't seem to want to make eye contact with him either.

"Hi." He said without any trace of enthusiasm. Just when the restaurant was filling with awkward, Drew walked back in with a goofy smile on his face.

"That didn't take as long as I thought." He said with a smile as he stood by the table.

"Ew." Adam mumbled. Fiona and Anya looked back and forth between Mat and Drew and snickered. Drew looked next to him to see Mat standing there in a bright yellow polo shirt, very similar to Drew's green one, with the collar popped in the same manner as his. They were also both wearing dark jeans, with their shirts slightly un-tucked.

"Okay, who's this guy?" Drew asked with a judgmental smirk.

"Drew this is Mat, Mat this is Adam's brother Drew." Zane said, hoping that it was the last awkward introduction he would have to make.

"Wow," Mat said sweetly. "You are all very attractive. Are all of your friends at school this good looking?" he asked, directed to no one in particular. Everyone at the table looked at each other for a moment, thought about it and than shrugged and nodded.

"Yeah."

"Yep, Pretty much."

"Mhm."

Mat laughed, causing everyone to stare at his blinding smile.

"Well, good meeting all of you."

"Wait!" Anya said before Mat turned to talk to Zane. "Where are you from?" Riley looked at Anya with disgust and shook his head. She was clearly barking up the wrong tree.

"Brazil. I live there this past year."

"Oh, how nice. What brings you to Canada?" Mat glanced at Zane and smiled flirtatiously before grabbing his hand and giving it a soft kiss.

"This beautiful guy here." Zane's face went blank as he loosened his hand from Mat's grip. Drew opened his mouth as if he was about to say something, but then closed it and looked as if he were going to bust out laughing. Everyone else looked nervous.

"Take cover." Adam whispered to Fiona as he began to get up from the table. Fiona grabbed his hand and followed his lead. "We're just gonna wait outside." he said to no one in particular.

"At first," Mat began, ignoring Riley who was gripping the side of the table, practically turning his fingers white, "He was going to come to Brazil with me, but his parents wouldn't let him. So I figured I'd come to him." Riley looked up at Zane only to ask a question.

"You were going to move to Brazil? Why didn't you tell me about that?"

"Small detail." Zane answered flatly.

"Wow, Juggling two at once? Sounds like something I would do." Drew cut in obnoxiously "Except with girls of course, I'm straight." Mat nodded at Drew's comment and then paused.

"What does he mean two at once?" Anya stood up from the table and grabbed Drew by the sleeve of his shirt

"We're just gonna go." She said awkwardly as she yanked Drew through the door.

"What'd I say?" Riley heard Drew say loudly as Anya practically kicked him out of the door.

"Two? You didn't tell me you were with anyone." Mat said softly as he rested a hand on Zane's arm. "I thought that idiot from over the summer was just a fling." Mat said, coincidentally giving Riley a harsh look with every word. Riley stood up quickly from his chair and stood next to Zane, directing every thing he said toward Mat.

"How does he know anything about this?" Riley said harshly, "You two haven't talked in a year."

"What?" Mat said with a condescending laugh" You really think I could leave him behind with no look back? We talk all the time. I write him almost every week." One side of Zane's mouth turned into an awkward smile as Riley looked at Zane and squinted his eyes.

"Excuse me?"

"We talked over the phone a few weeks ago."

"Tell me he's lying." Riley pleaded as he tried to keep his hands to his sides. Zane stood there and stared at his feet, he refused to answer. Mat looked from Riley to Zane and then from Zane to Riley and acted as if he had an epiphany.

"Oh, it was you." Mat said coldly. "You're the idiot." Riley looked at Mat and turned to leave.

"Yeah," he said looking at Zane, "Apparently I am." Riley forced himself to walk away. He could feel the anger welling up in every part of his body. Without thinking he grabbed the nearest table and flipped it over with all his strength causing the owner to peak out from behind the counter.

"Hey!" the owner screamed at Riley as he tore the door open. But Riley had already gone running down the street.


	24. First Mistake

Zane had told the rest of the crew to go to Above the Dot without him as he and Mat stood in an alley next to the restaurant. Mat was leaning against the wall with one leg bent for support. He looked as he always did: nonchalant and beautiful. Zane shook all thoughts from his mind and stood in front of him.

"I'm sorry." He said, not sure exactly what he was apologizing for. He had successfully confused himself in the midst of all of this. "But, I do have a boyfriend." Mat looked at Zane and smirked. He dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

"I know." Mat said with a cigarette between his teeth as he searched for a light. "I saw you two a few days ago. I had just gotten into town. I was walking to my car and I saw him kiss you." Mat finally found his lighter and lit his cigarette. "So much for welcome eh?"

Zane rolled his eyes and tried to remove the cigarette from Mat's hand, but Mat was quicker and stronger and grabbed Zane's arm at his elbow. "Hey," he said sternly as he squeezed Zane's forearm, "If I want to smoke, I am going to." He released Zane's arm from his grip and took another puff "I'm twenty years old, treat me with respect." Zane rubbed the spot on his elbow where Mat had grabbed him and ignored the pain.

"So you did know. Then why were you acting so selfish?" Mat laughed condescendingly and raised an eyebrow at Zane.

"I'm selfish?" Zane realized that he was being hypocritical and didn't respond. Mat took Zane's silence as disrespect and pushed off of the wall. "Huh?" he said as he walked toward Zane. Zane still didn't respond, so Mat grabbed Zane's chin, making him look him in the eye. "I talked to you three weeks ago, and you didn't tell me anything. I'm selfish?" Zane looked into Mat's eyes, unafraid.

He had forgotten how rough Mat could be sometimes. He knew Mat wouldn't hurt him, he never did before, he just tried to intimidate Zane. By shoving Zane around every now and then, he was showing that he was dominant. Zane found it harmless.

"You're right." Zane said softly. Mat nodded and than let go of Zane's face and pulled him into a hug.

"I know." He said warmly into Zane's hair. Zane's body relaxed as he breathed in Mat's cologne. He couldn't deny that he missed him. Mat released Zane and than leaned down, trying to catch his eye. "Now, how about a smile huh? That's what I came here for." Zane smiled sheepishly and blushed. "Tell you what. You come back to my room and I'll make you some Crème de Papaya, your favorite." Zane smiled teasingly at Mat and looked impressed.

"You remembered."

"You are kidding. Of course I remember. I remember everything about you." Mat took Zane's hand in his lightly and looked into Zane's eyes. Zane was convinced that Mat knew the effect his eyes had on him, because he always tried to make eye contact at the most pivotal moments. "I'm crazy for you. You know that right?" Zane nodded, lost in Mat's eyes. When he finally blinked and looked away, Zane could think clearly again.

"You can't be."

"Then what am I supposed to do?" Zane looked at the ground thoughtfully.

"We can try being friends. But that's all." Zane compromised. Mat looked at Zane and took a step back with his arms in the air.

"I will try nothing. I just want to be near you, I promise." Zane knew that he was making a mistake, but he couldn't say no to him.

"Sounds like a plan." Mat smiled and Zane put his hand on his chest, stopping him from getting any closer. "But, I have to make sure that Riley's okay. He… " Mat looked at Zane waiting for him to continue. Inside his mind, Zane was debating whether or not he should reveal to Mat that Riley had anger issues. "over reacts sometimes." Mat nodded and put his arm around Zane's shoulder. He took his cigarette out of his mouth and dramatically threw it on the ground.

"Anything you want," he said warmly "is good with me."


	25. Breaking Point

Riley ran to the door of Zane's apartment and started knocking. When no one answered the knocking got louder, than he began punching and kicking. In the midst of his anger he had forgotten that he had a key. He reached into his pocket and fumbled with the door for a few moments and ran in, leaving the key in the door, and the door open.

Riley ran up the stairs and through the hallway. He screamed hello a couple of times to make sure that no one was home and ran to Zane's room.

He started in Zane's closet, tearing all of his clothes from the hanger and knocking over every shelf, but there was nothing there. He pulled out the drawers of Zane's nightstand and found nothing but old school papers, condoms and various pens and pencils. As he looked through the second drawer he found nothing different, except for a picture of the two of them during the town fair, smiling in front of the Ferris wheel. Riley stared at the picture, out of breath and heated, and threw it back into the drawer.

Looking at the picture had calmed him down, and he began to make the decision to leave. As he was standing however, he glanced under Zane's bed and saw a box.

He grabbed the box and tore off the lid. What he saw made his heart stop. There were loads of pictures of Zane and Mat in various places, some of them out of the country. There were a few sloppily cut newspaper clips from Brazil ,all featuring Mat, that Mat must have sent Zane out of arrogance. Riley threw some of the pictures out of the box and resorted to turning the box upside down.

In the bottom were numerous watches, rings and foreign gifts. Riley's hand found one small notebook. He opened the first page, in it was a list: "Things I love About You". Riley looked in horror as the list went on for twenty pages. He threw the notebook aside and continued searching.

In one swift decision, Riley grabbed Zane's mattress and flipped it over, sheets blankets and all, revealing a sea of letters, all in envelopes. Most were opened but some weren't. Riley staggered backwards when he saw how many there were. There had to be at least fifty of them. Riley grabbed one of them and looked at the date: October 24, 2010. It was now the middle of November. Riley could feel himself start to hyperventilate. The room looked as if it was closing in on him. He leaned against the wall and put his hand over his face, looking at what he had done to Zane's room; it was trashed.

Riley felt tears welling up in his eyes, mostly because he couldn't believe that he had let his anger get the best of him again. Riley pulled himself together and was about to walk out, when his toe hit a ring that had fallen out of the box. He recognized that ring, it was one that Zane used to wear every day. Zane had only stopped wearing it in the past two weeks. Riley squinted his eyes and stared at it closely; it was a championship soccer ring.

"Shit." Riley whispered harshly as he examined the ring closely. He didn't even hear the footsteps behind him.

"Riley!" Riley spun around to see Zane standing in the doorway, winded. He must have run up when he saw his door sitting open. "Riley, what the heck are you doing?" Zane walked into his room and ran his fingers through his hair to push it away from his face. When he saw what Riley had found he cursed under his breath.

"Zane I'm sorry…" Riley stopped himself and shook his head. He shouldn't have destroyed Zane's room, but he wasn't at fault here. "No." he said as if he were suddenly enlightened. "You made me feel like an idiot."

"Okay, I was wrong. So, you come here and you trash my room? Does that make sense to you Riley?"

"There's a part of your life that you've been lying about for months. Does that make sense to _you_?" Zane looked at the ground and shook his head. "What else are you lying about?"

"I never actually lied, sure I stretched the truth a little-"

"What are you gonna do about this ass hole?"

"He's my friend. And for the two weeks that he's here, you and I are just gonna have to cool down a bit..." Riley looked at Zane with disbelief. At that moment, Zane was the biggest disappointment. He never did anything this low.

"Okay fine. So for two weeks you expect me to just pretend that you're not my boyfriend? Makes perfect sense." Riley said sarcastically.

"You know what, It's not that much to ask. I play pretend every day that I'm with you Riley. For three months before senior year I pretended to be just your friend, in front of your parents, our friends, everyone. You still haven't told your parents about me and I'm starting to think that you never will."

"Is that even what this is about?" Riley asked quietly as he tried to catch Zane's eye. Riley looked more disappointed than mad and he tried to soften his voice so that Zane would stop being so unbelievably defensive. "Why didn't you tell me you were writing him? Why did you do it at all?"

"He's been writing me. I almost never respond."

"And in one of those few letters you wrote you never, maybe, mentioned that we were together?"

"It didn't cross my mind." Riley looked at Zane's defensive stance and narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Yeah, because all I was, was some stupid summer fling."

"Well it wasn't really a lie considering, we broke up right when the school year started. It hurt how you just threw me aside like that. I know football's important but I'm tired of taking the backseat in everything you do, because you're too afraid to be who you really are." Riley stood there, staring at Zane and realized that he was out of breath. He tried to steady his breathing before responding. It was just as hard for Riley as it was for Zane, to have the tables turned on him. Just as Zane didn't want to be blamed, Riley didn't want to have to yell at him.

"Can you take the blame?" Riley pleaded, "For once?" Zane looked away from Riley and collected his thoughts before speaking. He didn't want to say something that he may regret.

"When he left, I felt like there was no closure. He just moved and that was it. It was over, so it's weird seeing him again, that's all." At first, Riley's face softened but then he stopped. Something had just dawned on him.

"You two never actually broke up did you?" Zane pressed his lips together and looked to the right, he was trying to avoid this question the entire time him and Riley were together. "You didn't." Zane reluctantly looked up at Riley who was teary eyed at this point, more hurt than angry.

"In theory, we grew apart after he moved. But no, we never officially ended our relationship."

"So, you're still with this guy."

"No! I told him I planned on moving on, it's not my fault that he didn't understand."

"But you didn't tell him that you actually _did_ move on."

"I thought he was never coming back." Zane stopped short and pressed his lips together, trying to keep himself from getting too upset. "I didn't lead him on, Riley."

"Yes you did!" The silence that followed was ridiculously uncomfortable. Usually Zane was doing all of the yelling, because most of the time Zane was right. But this time it was the opposite, and it was strange for Zane to hear someone yelling at him. Riley softened his voice when he heard his ears ringing.

"You did enough for him to go out of the country. And enough for him to think that you two still have something. Which I'm starting to think is the truth."


	26. Bad Decisions

Riley pushed passed Zane and began walking through the living room.

"So what now?" Zane asked in a deep voice, still standing in the doorway of his room. Riley stopped and turned around. Zane was relieved when he saw that Riley's eyes looked more sad than angry.

"We'll just, 'cool down for a while'." Riley said as he walked toward Zane. Riley fiddled with Mat's ring, which was still in his hands. He picked up Zane's hand and placed the ring into his palm. "You got what you wanted." Riley paused for a moment instead of walking away as he planned. The hurt in Zane's eyes had him sucked in so that he couldn't leave. So much for a dramatic exit. "I'll see you around." Zane nodded and stayed where he was as he watched Riley walk away.

"I need my key back," Zane paused, realizing how harsh it had sounded "please."

"It's in the door." Riley walked out the door of Zane's apartment and went to exit the building. When he got outside he happened to turn to his left to see Mat leaning against the wall of the apartment, looking smug and smoking a cigarette.

"Give up?" Mat asked tauntingly as he stood to face Riley.

"I'm trying to be civil here."

"Cause if you haven't yet you should." Mat said, ignoring Riley's clear struggle to stay calm. Riley walked toward Mat and stood in front of him. He was so close that their noses were almost touching. Mat didn't step back, his smile didn't fade, he had no response whatsoever, except for removing his cigarette from his mouth and blowing smoke into Riley's face. Riley tried to hide the fact that his eyes were burning from the smoke and stood his ground.

"You're not even worth it." He spat harshly before slowly backing away. With that Riley left, with no clue where he was going or what would happen next, but with no doubt in his mind that he did the right thing.

Mat heard Zane's footsteps and did his best to stomp out his cigarette and disperse the smoke from the air. He put his hands in his pockets and bit his lip, attempting to look innocent.

"What happened?" Mat asked, as Zane walked by him.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Did I do something?"

"No, it's not you."

"It was that idiot. He said something to you." Mat trailed behind Zane who was taking long strides so that he could get to his car as fast as possible. "I had to practically push him off of me, he was trying to fight me…he-he was so angry!" Mat lied as he threw his arms around for dramatic effect. Zane stopped and turned around once he reached his car. He looked doubtful, but it was something about Mat's eyes and the way his accent had thickened when he told the story that made Zane want to believe him.

"He did?"

"Yes!"

"Okay, get in the car Matheus." Mat practically leaped to the passengers seat sat in the car without buckling his seatbelt. "Hey, safety first." Zane said mockingly. Mat smiled as he sensed Zane loosening up. He wanted nothing more but to know that he wasn't the one that Zane was mad at.

The car ride was surprisingly pleasant, the exes laughed and joked and remembered some of the great times they had together.

"No, remember that one time…." Zane began, raising his voice so that he could hear himself over Mat's laughter "when I took you on the crazy mouse ride at the fair?"

"No, no, no don't bring that up. It's too embarrassing."

"And you freaked out before the ride even started moving because you had such a huge fear of-"

"Okay! Okay no need to talk about that again…" Mat said with a laugh as he stared at Zane. Zane didn't feel Mat staring at him because he was practically bent over in laughter. Zane stopped laughing. All of the talk about the fair made him think about Riley. His face fell and his voice became more serious.

"Is this is it?" Zane asked, referring to the hotel on the left. Mat sat there, mesmerized by the beauty of Zane's face and didn't answer. "Mat? This your hotel?" Mat snapped back to reality and nodded.

"Yes, thank you... So, no dessert?" Zane scrunched up his face and looked at mat with unease.

"Do you do take-out?"

"You can come in, I won't take advantage of you, I promise." Zane paused, which only made Mat press further. "Come on!" he said with a smile as he shifted in his seat to face Zane. "If I'm not worth it, than certainly my Crème de Papaya is."

"Okay, but one bowl." Zane said before turning off his car and getting out of the driver's seat. Mat hesitated as he sat in the passenger's side, happy in his success, before he showed Zane to his room. Getting Zane to go to his room was the hard part, the rest of it was cake.


	27. Fatal Temptation

The following morning, Zane stood at the sink of Mat's luxurious3 hotel room and pondered over the few dishes in the sink. He needed something, anything to distract himself from the fact that he was in his ex boyfriend's room, so he picked up the few dishes and began to wash them.

He was still slightly damp and in his bath towel. It was an obvious routine in the mornings for him: take a shower, make breakfast, wash dishes, than get dressed. Anyone who had lived with him or even spent a few nights with him knew that it was always the same.

Zane continued to wash the dishes that he and Mat had used for their Crème de Papaya the previous night and tried to calm himself down. He was too wrapped up in his thoughts to feel a presence at the doorway behind him.

"You should know better than to walk around like that." Zane turned his head for a split second before he continued to clean the dishes.

"Sorry I didn't think you were awake. I'll go change." Mat was leaning in the doorway that led to the expansive bedroom and bathroom and smiled smugly at Zane as he tried to get by.

"I wasn't complaining." He mumbled as Zane stood in front of him. Zane smirked, shook his head and subconsciously grabbed at his towel to keep it in place as he backed away. Zane took his place in front of the sink and tried to distract himself from Mat's half naked body that was standing behind him, which continued to get closer and closer. Zane turned around when he felt that Mat was literally on his back.

"Can I have some space please?" Zane asked, trying to keep a straight face as Mat pushed closer to him. Mat ignored him and said nothing, he simply looked down at Zane's body with an appreciative smile. "Will you stop looking at me like that?" Zane asked, trying to hide a smirk.

"Like what?" Mat asked, as he continued to stare.

"Like that. It looks like you're… gonna eat me or something." Mat glanced down at Zane's crotch and than looked up into his eyes.

"Do you want me to eat you?" Zane couldn't help but smile. He shook his head and pushed Mat's bare chest, causing Mat to stumble backwards, laughing lightly. "This is friendly right?" Mat asked softly as he wrapped his arms around Zane's shoulders from behind. Zane shuddered lightly and then nodded.

"It would be harmless if I didn't know what you were thinking." Mat used his arms to rub lightly on Zane's shoulders and used one hand to travel down Zane's chest toward his stomach. When Zane felt Mat's strong hands exploring his body he dropped the pot that he was washing into the sink and warmed to Mat's familiar touch. Mat's hand continued to travel toward Zane's crotch. One hand traveled under Zane's towel as the other struggled to remove it. When Zane felt Mat's hand on his crotch he quickly opened his eyes and pushed Mat's hands away. "Mat, I have boundaries, respect them." He said breathlessly. Mat smirked as Zane turned the water off and began walking away.

"You're hard."

"I'm human. You're not willing to make this easy are you?" Zane shook his head when Mat didn't answer and escaped into the bathroom.

Zane shut the door behind him and leaned against the sink. He turned around so that he was facing the mirror and put both hands on the side of the sink for support. He splashed some water on his face and removed his towel to pat his face dry. There was a knock on the door shortly afterward.

"Zane? I'm sorry it will not happen again." Zane didn't respond. "Can I come in?"

"No, Mat-" Mat ignored Zane's answer and entered the bathroom. Zane unhurriedly used his towel to cover his front as he cut his eyes disapprovingly at Mat.

"It is not like I have never seen it before." Mat said without emotion. Zane adjusted his towel so that it was around his waist again before leaving the bathroom. "I'm sorry, I am just joking!"

"Well stop joking. I still have a boyfriend, and you're being inappropriate."

"I cannot help it! You are the one running around half naked, in a small towel… all… wet and-and you expect me not to do anything about it?"

"You're disrespectful."

"I'm human." Mat said mockingly. Zane sighed as he realized that Mat was hopeless. He sat down carefully on the couch next to him and picked at his fingers. "What're you going to tell your boyfriend?"

"There's nothing to tell, I fell asleep on your couch."

"And I'm the disrespectful one…"

"It's better that he doesn't know. I wouldn't want him trying to hurt you again." Mat squinted his eyes out of confusion and then quickly pretended to remember.

"Oh, right. Yes I would not want that to happen." Mat stood awkwardly in the center of the floor before deciding to sit down next to Zane. "So, how did you sleep last night?"

"Fine. You?"

"Great! You know, I had a dream about you."

"Mat." Zane warned, as he glanced upward at him.

"It was nothing bad…well not too bad."

"Matheus…"

"Okay, okay I'm sorry." Zane stood up from the couch and went to the kitchen so that he could use the phone. "Where are you going?"

"To call Riley." Mat shuddered and rolled his eyes. 'What do you want with him anyway? He's violent, under-toned, immature, knows nothing about soccer-"

"Well he's my boyfriend, and I really love him." Mat stared at his feet when he heard the emotion in Zane's voice. Hearing him talking about loving another guy was uncomfortable for him.

"Fine. Stay with him." He said curtly as he stood up from the couch and walked toward the doorway. Zane looked at him with confusion as he grabbed Zane's coat off of the rack and threw it at him. "But get the hell out of here."

"I don't get it. Why are you acting like this? Why are you being so crazy?"

"Because I _am_ crazy!" Mat screamed, so loudly that it caused Zane to jump backwards. "Remember?" Zane breathed slowly to try to relax himself so that Mat wouldn't get too upset.

"Did you try talking to someone?"

"I have no hope. Even your mom has said so!"

"She didn't mean it."

"She was right. I'm violent, I'm irritable, because I'm crazy about you and you want to just pretend like it isn't there!" Zane glanced at the floor as he tried to fight back tears. "It's not fair." Mat said helplessly. Mat grabbed Zane's pants and t-shirt and shoved them toward him, before shoving Zane out of the door. "I can't see you, and I won't see you unless I can be with you." With that, Mat shut the door, leaving Zane in the hall of a hotel, wet, half naked and surprisingly lonely.

**I knowww I don't like Mat either. grrrrr ; ) **


	28. Unspoken

Riley and Adam had just left the movies and were on their way back to Riley's house. Riley hadn't said one thing the whole time they were hanging out, he was still emotionally distressed from the previous night. Adam tried to refrain from asking Riley why he was so distant, but couldn't resist.

"Alright, why were you so quiet today?"

"It's a movie theatre, you're not supposed to talk." Adam looked up at Riley, causing him to have to squint from the brightness of the sun.

"Yeah, I know but, I can't believe you sat through Clown Academy 4 and didn't laugh once." Adam said with a half smile. Riley maintained his hard, stoic expression and stared straight ahead.

"I don't know, my life kinda sucks I guess."

"Yeah well, that makes two of us." Adam glanced at Riley, expecting him to inquire about Adam's current ordeal, but he said nothing. Adam continued anyway. "Fiona kissed me last night." Riley squinted and then did a double take toward Adam. He was always surprised when Adam would tell him about all the time he and Fiona had spent together, but in the midst of it all physical contact was never proposed by either of them.

"Well, It's about time." Riley said as he cracked the first smile of the day. Adam noticed Riley's change in attitude and immediately cut in.

"Yeah well I pushed her away, sorry to disappoint."

"Why the hell would you do that?"

"Because," Adam leaned in closer making it easier for Riley to hear his hushed tone, "her hands were getting too close." Adam said quietly through gritted teeth.

"Too close to what?" Adam rolled his eyes at Riley's obliviousness and than widened them, hoping that he would get the hint so that Adam wouldn't have to say it himself. "Oh...oh! Right, those, I-I mean that..."

"Yeah," Adam cut in, trying to save the moment from getting any more awkward. "I'm not ready to tell her yet, man."

"You'll have to eventually. Even if you two plan on going the same sluggish pace that your relationship has been going for the past month. I mean, at this rate, you two will be married before you even reach first base."

"Funny, my excuse for pushing her off was that we were going too fast. She looked at me like I had three heads or whatever other hideous birth defect you can fabricate."

"You have to tell her at some point if you expect things to go any further."

"Dude, you think I don't know that? I think about it constantly when I'm with her. It hasn't slipped my mind." Riley silenced himself and glanced down at Adam. He often forgot that Adam was biologically female, but every now and then there were things that would remind him. In this case, it was the way the light was hitting his face, highlighting his feminine features such as his long eyelashes and girlish cheekbones. Riley was surprised that Fiona hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary. "Tell you what," Adam said, causing Riley to focus his attention elsewhere so that Adam wouldn't notice him staring. "How about we make a deal?"

"Like what?"

"I'll tell Fiona and you come out to your mom. I mean, maybe we could help each other through this."

"Yeah, well by helping I hope you mean renting out your couch. If I come out to my mom, she'll kick me out, guaranteed."

"So, you'll stay at Zane's. To be honest dude, my mom wouldn't be so cool with you staying over. Personally, I thought the whole flag pole ordeal was hilarious. Tritely executed but it did the job."

"I can't…"

"Can't what?"

"Stay with Zane."

"Why not? I figured his parents would be cool considering he's all out and proud or whatever."

"Yeah well we got into a fight. And we're kind of sort of taking a break… but we're still together. I think?" Adam cut his eyes toward Riley and didn't find it necessary to express his confusion, Riley seemed just as confused himself.

"What? You guys were infatuated with each other to the point that it would induce vomiting. What happened?" Riley sighed and stopped to look Adam in the eyes.

"Remember his ex Mat?"

"Unfortunately."

"He happened." Riley continued walking, implying that he didn't want to harp on the subject for too long. But Adam didn't get the hint and came running up behind him.

"So, kick his ass."

"Can't. I'm in anger management, remember? Zane wouldn't want anything to do with me."

"Well, he _has_ stuck around this long."

"I'm not taking any chances." Riley said, with clear stress in his voice. Adam looked at the ground and gave up on trying to influence Riley, when he got an idea.

"Then…Why don't you get someone else to do it for you?"

"You mean, like a hitman?"

"Or just your friendly neighborhood bully who'd beat up anyone for cash..." Riley stopped and looked deep in thought, but he shook his head and started walking.

"No, I can't do that, it's just as bad."

"Suit yourself." The two guys turned the corner to the street that Riley lived on and tried to restart the conversation. "Whatever it is that this guy is trying to pull, don't let him get away with it. Just because you're trying to keep yourself from punching him out, doesn't mean you should let him win." Riley looked at his feet and than over at Adam. "I mean, even though I'd like being able to hang out with you two without you eye fucking each other, you guys are kind of adorable." Riley smirked slightly and looked at Adam with sad eyes. He could imagine how strange it would be, going back to school and not hanging out with the group as usual because of some stupid fight.

They neared Riley's house and were surprised to see Zane sitting on the front steps. The two stopped and glanced at each other, and back at Riley's house. From a distance, Riley could see that Zane had spotted them, so he couldn't turn back.

"Just, think about what I said." Adam told Riley before deciding to turn on a side street to give the couple privacy. Riley managed to pull himself together before he reached his doorstep. Zane waited expectantly and looked over at Riley who was now standing beside him.

"Hey." Riley said, trying to keep his voice from cracking.

"Hey." Riley lifted his eyes and actually looked at Zane. His eyes were red, and he was wearing the same clothes from the night before. His hair wasn't gelled and was out of place, which was more than unusual for him. Immediately, Riley knew that something was wrong. Riley stepped in front of Zane and Zane stood up so that they could see eye to eye. Riley tried to resist reaching out and touching Zane but he lifted his hand and brushed Zane's cheek with his thumb before quickly dropping his hand.

"What happened? Why are you sitting on my steps alone like that?"

"Your parents weren't home. I couldn't get in."

"You could've called."

"I can't I-" Zane stopped himself from blurting out the truth. When Mat pushed him out of the room this morning, Zane's cell phone was left behind. "I lost it." Riley sighed and looked away. He hated seeing Zane so vulnerable and upset. "I need to talk to you. We can't make a decision out of anger the way we did last night and then be okay with it the next morning. We should talk about it now that we're calm-"

"Why do you look like you didn't get any sleep?" Riley could tell by how quickly Zane was speaking that he was trying to avoid something.

"I had a rough night." Riley huffed and tried to maintain his cool.

"Were you with Mat?" Zane chewed on his bottom lip and glanced around, willing that Riley would retract the question, wrap his strong arms around his shoulders and tell Zane that he forgave him. Instead, Riley began to ask the question again. "Were you with-"

"Yeah, I was." Zane admitted, impatiently.

"Zane, please tell me you didn't…" Zane narrowed his eyes at Riley and scoffed.

"Are you joking? Is that the kind of guy you think I am?" Riley didn't answer and tried not to let his eyes water. "If you think I'm so easy than why do you waste your time?"

"Zane, don't do this." Zane tapped his foot and looked anxious. Riley looked around and grabbed his hand. "Come inside. Please?" Zane nodded and followed Riley inside. Riley guided Zane through the door with his hand and Zane flinched when he touched his elbow. Riley noticed that Zane had pulled away and looked down at where he touched him. He was slightly bruised. "What happened?" Zane looked down at his elbow and was surprised to see that it was black and blue. Mat had only bruised him a few times before. Zane figured that Mat must have been especially angry last night.

"We were joking around, he got a little rough. It's fine." Riley tried to catch Zane's eye but Zane had already gone inside. In his heart, Riley knew that Mat didn't hurt Zane by accident. But he said nothing, in fear that it would lead him to do something that would destroy all that he had worked for.


	29. Hopeless

Zane settled himself at Riley's kitchen table as Riley went to grab something from the fridge.

"Do you want anything?" he asked Zane sweetly as he stared back at him.

"No, thank you I'm fine." Riley returned with a bottle of water for himself and sat across from Zane. Zane did his best to hide the sadness in his face but he was very unsuccessful. Riley looked at the compunction and remorse that exuded from Zane's eyes and immediately felt pity for him. Riley couldn't possibly be mad at such a sad, beautiful face.

"Damn it Zane," Riley said softly as he began to put Zane's hair back into place "I'm supposed to be mad at you." Zane smiled lightly but didn't respond. Instead he stared down at the table, trying not to look into Riley's eyes. But he realized that he had to face the issue, and he took a chance and locked eyes with him. The look of warmth and concern in Riley's eyes was overwhelming.

"I don't know how you aren't mad." Riley shook his head softly and looked at Zane. He knew exactly why he couldn't stay mad at him, but he didn't think now was the time to express that.

"What happened last night? Why do you look so rough?" Zane took a deep breath and told Riley everything starting from directly after Riley left. He told him about the argument him and Mat had outside of the restaurant and the conversation they had on the way to Mat's room. He also begrudgingly told him about how Mat had tried to drag him to his bedroom last night, and shoved Zane against a wall when he wouldn't comply. The most painful thing was telling him about that morning, which Zane skillfully edited, leaving out most detail. The entire time Zane was talking he refused to look at Riley, and when he finally did, he realized that telling him was a mistake.

Riley was fuming. His face was bright red and he seemed out of breath as if he had just gotten back from a long run. Immediately Zane knew he was angry, and grabbed Riley's arm before he stood up to head for the door.

"Riley…Riley sit down."

"Zane, just let me go."

"Where are you going?"

"To smash his face in, where else did you think I was going?" he asked sarcastically as he continued to try and wrench his arm from Zane's grip, which was unsurprisingly strong. Zane stood up and swiftly jumped in front of Riley and put his hands on his shoulders to restrain him.

"Riley," Zane said, so calmly that it caused Riley to stop and look, "Think about what you're doing. Is this how you want to be? Are you gonna let some idiot get to you?" Riley stopped trying to get passed Zane and simply looked at Zane with warning eyes.

"If he touches you again I swear."

"Well, he won't, okay? Cause I'm getting him some help." Riley paused and did a double take. Riley couldn't believe what he was hearing, after all that Mat put Zane through, he was still trying to help him. Riley didn't say anything, he simply looked at Zane with disappointment.

"And I was starting to think you were over this guy."

"It's not even about that. He's my friend Riley and he's not himself. The way he's been acting lately, it's not like him."

"No, I thought he was an asshole all the time." Riley said sarcastically as he calmly removed Zane's hands from his shoulder and directed them to his side. Zane shook his head and followed Riley into his kitchen where he looked in the refrigerator and all of the cabinets without actually looking for anything.

"He's not an asshole. Yeah, he pushed me around a little…"

"I don't get it. If I had a boyfriend who laid even the slightest hand on me I'd kick his ass."

"It's different when you're actually in that situation. You can't speak for everyone." Riley raised an eyebrow, pretending to be enlightened and walked out of the kitchen again. Zane could see that he was becoming slightly impatient with him. "Riley, I was seventeen. An early seventeen at that and he was my first boyfriend…my parents never even interacted so I never saw what most real life relationships were like. Plus, I loved him too much for it to even matter." Riley refused to show any understanding but sat down as a sign of submission. "Unfortunately, that was all I knew, and when he came back, it was like I went backwards. I was seventeen again."

"Riley," Zane began as he tried to look at Riley in his eyes "he's not stable. He's happy one second then, grabbing me the next. Then he's forcing himself on me, next moment he's shoving me." Riley cringed with everything that Zane said, causing Zane to take a different route. "And the look in his eyes when he gets angry, it's like nothings there. It's not even Mat anymore, it's like he's possessed."

Riley finally nodded, but only slightly. He still thought that this whole thing was incredibly stupid, and that Mat didn't deserve to live.

"So, what now?" Riley asked impatiently as he tapped his foot under the kitchen table.

"I have to go back." Riley stopped all movement and stared straight ahead. He tried to keep himself calm, however it seemed to be failing.

"What? Why?"

"How else am I gonna help him? I have to talk to him." Riley looked at Zane as if he had four eyes and shook his head.

"Are you kidding? He's dangerous Zane. "

"I don't have any choice."

"I won't let you." Riley said so sternly, that he shocked himself. He never gave Zane orders, usually Zane was giving him the orders. But now, Zane's safety was in danger and Riley felt that Zane's heart was in danger as well. Even though he said he was over Mat, Riley still felt that that wasn't the full truth.

"You can't tell me not to."

"Fine, then I'm going with you." Zane looked at Riley and realized that he wouldn't have it any other way. Zane was secretly impressed with how protective he was being, but didn't say anything.

"Okay. But you have to stay in the car. I don't want Mat getting the wrong idea about any of this." Riley nodded and grabbed his jacket as he began to make his way to the door, but Zane put his hand on his chest and stopped him from going any further.

"I'm doing this for us, okay?" Zane said as he lost himself in Riley's sweet, blue eyes. "Not just for him." Zane had to keep himself from kissing Riley and it took more than he thought he had not to lean in and press his lips to his. He never realized that it was a reflex. Whenever he and Riley were within a foot of each other they would usually exchange a kiss. It was strange. Now that they were trying to take a break, he couldn't even touch Riley a certain way.

"Alright," Riley said as he gave Zane a threatening look, a look that he was really directing toward Mat "This better be worth it."

**Sorry I haven't updated in forever. School just started **** but hang in there! I will probably update on Friday and another day during the weekend. Sorry that my posts aren't as consistent anymore guys**


	30. The Visit

Zane and Riley had decided to get something to eat, and pass a football back and forth before they went to Mat's hotel. They both felt that they needed some time to cool down. When it began to get dark outside, they decided that it was time to go.

Zane continued to tell Riley about Mat's bad history on the way to the hotel. He told Riley about how his mother despised Mat, and thought that he was clinically insane.

"She didn't want me to be around him. She hated him more than anyone else on earth. Which, you would think, would be a sign for me." Riley sat in the passengers seat with his arm resting in the lowered window. He squinted over at Zane and cocked his head sideways.

"What about your dad?" Zane looked down at the steering wheel, trying to figure out a way to skirt around the question. He decided to lie instead.

"I don't know. They never interacted much." Truth was, Zane's father absolutely adored Mat. He loved his athleticism and his success in school, Mat was like a second son to him. Zane's father liked Mat so much, that he was the one who called them a few nights after Zane's mom kicked them out. He was the one who told them that everything was okay and that he would love for them to come home. Zane knew that if he were dating anyone else during that time, his father wouldn't have called at all.

Zane pulled into the hotel parking lot and sat for a second after he turned the car off. He could see Riley starting to get anxious and decided that he needed to leave before Riley changed his mind.

"Hey." Riley said before Zane was all the way out of the car. "You find your phone, alright? And I want you to call me and get out of there as fast as you can if he even looks like he's gonna try anything." Zane felt that Riley was being unreasonable but felt bad for putting Riley through the stress. Zane nodded his head yes and hesitated, but closed the car door and walked into the lobby.

The elevator ride up to Mat's room was definitely longer than the night before. But Zane realized it was just his nerves. He desperately wanted to get this over with. Zane walked down the hallway and stood in front of Mat's door. He stared at it for a full minute, and finally mustered the courage to knock.

At first, Mat didn't answer. Zane knocked again, and finally after a few moments he could hear Mat walking behind the door. The door opened slowly and Zane stepped back a little so that it didn't seem as if he were inviting himself in. Mat seemed to suddenly appear at the door, and Zane noticed that he was in the same pants that he slept in, and he was still wearing no shirt. He also noticed that Mat hadn't showered yet seeing as he smelled slightly sweaty.

"I…" Zane's voice trailed off as he tried to find a reason to invite himself into Mat's room "I left my phone." Mat smiled and stepped back, allowing Zane to walk in.

"I knew you'd be back." Mat said coyly as he fixed his hair behind Zane's back. "Do you want anything?" Zane grabbed his phone off of the kitchen table and shoved it into his jacket pocket.

"No thanks, I'm fine." Zane thought about walking out and giving up, but instead he stayed and faced Mat. "Do you have time to talk?" Mat smiled, slightly mislead by Zane's presence and tone and sat down on the couch. Zane sat in a chair across from him and removed his jacket. He tried to keep from fiddling with his fingers out of nervousness. He knew that the only way that Mat would agree to get help was if Zane acted as if he were interested in him, so he made a split decision to do so before he began talking.

"You know how I feel about you." Zane said warmly, without over doing it. He didn't want to come onto Mat too obviously. "And I feel that if we're going to continue what we have, some things need to change." Mat nodded, ecstatic that Zane was running back to him, as he thought he would. "I think that we should both start talking to someone." Mat's smile faded slightly, turning his grin into a closed mouth smile.

"What do you mean? Talking to who?"

"A professional. Someone that can help us." Mat's smile had gone from his face after the first two words and he began to shake his head, staring at the open window to his left. "It's the only way this can get better" Zane urged, as he tried to sound convincing. "It may not seem like it now, but in the end it will all be worth it."

"You mean it's the only way _I_ can get better. I am not stupid." Zane exhaled through his nose and leaned his elbows on his knees. He didn't want to have to say it directly, but it seemed he had no choice.

"Mat, I'm worried about you." Mat stood up and walked toward the stove where he began putting dishes away. It amused Zane that he and Mat shared the same habit of cleaning when they were stressed. Zane stood up to be sure that Mat could still hear him. "You never thought that it may be a good idea to see a psychiatrist?" Mat stopped putting the dishes into the cabinet and turned around. He leaned against the counter with both hands supporting him at his sides. He took a few deep breaths, and tried to seem as calm as possible.

"You have been talking to your mother I see."

"No. This is me saying that you need to take care of yourself-"

"Why were you with me so long if you thought I was crazy huh? Why don't you just leave me be?" Zane knew why he didn't leave Mat. First of all, he was young and stupid, secondly he was madly in love with him and third, Zane always felt that he could fix people. Although he was easily annoyed and put off by immaturity and stupid actions, he was starting to see a pattern in his dating habits. He liked feeling needed. He wanted to be with someone that needed his help.

"You know why."

"No, I don't! Tell me."

"Because I care about you, man. You know that." Mat looked doubtful and almost angry at first before his mouth spread into a smile.

"I always knew we'd end up together, you and me." Mat said softly as he grabbed Zane's hands out of excitement. "I cannot believe that there was ever a doubt in my mind. We were meant to be, who cannot see?" Zane pulled his hands away from Mat, put off by his over zealous nature. Zane was slightly intimidated by Mat's odd facial expression and glossed over look in his eyes and he began to back away. Mat's sudden change in emotion was enough to frighten anyone. Zane shook his head, realizing that he was too weak to lead Mat on any longer.

"Mat…we can be friends. I love you, but not in that way." Mat's smile dropped once more and his face seemed blank for a moment. He started to seem anxious instead of angry and Zane relaxed and let his guard down. He was mistaken to do so, with Mat's fluctuating emotions, he never knew if he was going to hug him or hurt him.

As Zane tried to figure out what Mat was feeling at the moment Mat leaped forward, wrapped his arm around Zane's waist and kissed him. Zane, initially shocked, let himself relax into the kiss for a moment before shoving Mat away. He wanted to make sure that he didn't feel anything for him anymore.

He noted the way Mat practically forced his tongue into his mouth, and the way that his arms were squeezing him so tight that it felt like he was going to be pulled in half. When he was younger, that was a turn on to him. But now, he didn't want someone who was going to dominate him all of the time. He wanted to feel like an equal, and with Mat he would never have that.

When Zane pushed him away Mat stood there, awestruck. He said nothing just stared at Zane, perplexed and out of breath. Zane reached for his jacket and began to make his way toward the door.

"No, hold on." He heard Mat say desperately.

"If you're not willing to receive my help than I don't need to be here."

"I said, hold on!" Zane continued to the door, un phased by Mat's tremendously loud voice. He barely got the door open before he felt Mat's strong right hand grab the collar of his shirt and pull him backwards. Zane's hand slipped from the knob and Mat slammed the door shut. Zane tried his best to keep a straight face as Mat held his face close to his with his hand still gripping Zane's collar.

"Did you hear me?" Zane avoided eye contact with Mat and pushed him away.

"Don't touch me." Mat looked at Zane, confused by his sudden courage and began to walk toward him. "Enough with the theatrics alright? Either talk to me like an adult, or let me leave."

"Come here." Mat shocked Zane by trying to kiss him again but Zane reacted more quickly this time by moving his own face away and using his hand to push Mat's face away from his. Zane searched Mat's face for any sign of sanity and made sure to keep a safe distance.

"Cut it out, you're acting insane." Zane stared into Mat's eyes, trying to get through to him, and noticed that they were clouded over and spastic. Zane tried not to notice the devious smirk that was plastered on Mat's face, and began to back away.

"No. I am going to get what I want."


	31. Breakaway

"Mat..." Zane warned as he held his hands in front of him out of defense. "don't do that. Calm down" Mat pretended to miss what Zane had said, and shoved Zane against the wall so quickly that he had no time to react. Mat grabbed Zane's arms and pinned them above his head as he began to kiss Zane's neck so violently that Zane felt pain more than anything else. Zane tried to over power Mat and release his arms from his grip, but Mat was much stronger than him.

"Don't fight me." Mat said aggressively as he slammed Zane against the wall. "It will be easier that way."

Zane had heard those words many times before, but in different context. Mat's power trip had gotten increasingly frightening as their relationship matured. The worse it had ever gotten was when Mat had tried to do this once before. The difference between this time and the last time, was that Mat came to, and stopped himself. But Zane knew that this time, there was no chance of Mat coming to his senses.

The two continued to struggle against each other's strength. However, Zane didn't feel fully afraid until Mat had him forcefully by the neck, and used his other hand to pull on his pants. Zane stared at Mat, wide eyed and tried to speak, but struggled to do so with Mat's hand cutting off his circulation and his air intake.

"Mat, stop." Zane whispered as he grabbed at Mat's hand. Before this point, Zane tried to deny what Mat was attempting to do, but the only way he could stop it was to face the frightening reality.

"Get off of me." Zane finally managed to scream as he continued to push against Mat's chest. He didn't even think to yell for help, or to try and reach for his phone, he knew he had to handle this himself.

Mat looked up when he heard Zane shouting at him and put his hand over his mouth to smuggle any sound he tried to make. Zane could feel Mat trying to turn him around so that he was facing the wall, and he realized he had no time to think this through.

Zane stopped acting frantic and collected himself. He released Mat's hand from his throat, got a good grip on Mat's shoulder, and pulled him forward so that he could knee him in the groin. When Mat doubled over, Zane paused at first, afraid that he had hurt him badly. But he pulled himself together, pushed around him and grabbed his jacket, heading for the door.

Right when Zane thought that he was safe he suddenly thudded to the ground. He thought he had tripped, but it was Mat's hand that grabbed the back of his jeans and pulled him. Mat pulled hard enough to get Zane's pants down half way, revealing his underwear. Zane clawed at the carpet, trying to ignore the rug burns on his torso, which were a result of Mat dragging him across the floor by the legs. Zane turned himself around and used the leg that Mat wasn't grabbing to kick him dead in the face. Zane heard Mat grunt and curse under his breath and he stood up clumsily and ran out of the door.

Zane could hear his pulse thudding in his ears. He could barely remember, let alone process, what had just happened. All he knew was that the sudden rush of adrenalin had overwhelmed all of his senses. He had never felt such a rush in his life, but he was glad he did.

He didn't bother to use the hotel elevator but instead, ran down the entire hallway so that he could sprint down the stairs. He knew that Mat didn't follow him, but he continued down the staircase until he finally reached the bottom floor. He slowed to a run and went out of the side door of the hotel, trying to reach his car as fast as he could. Zane could see from a distance that Riley was already pacing back and forth next to the vehicle, nervous because Zane was taking so long. When he looked up and saw Zane running from the side of the hotel, he squinted in confusion and began to meet Zane halfway.

"No, Riley get in the car." Zane said before he reached the passenger's side.

"What the hell happened?" Riley asked with a crack in his voice as he looked at Zane's messed hair, wrinkled shirt and unbuckled jeans.

"Just get in the car and drive."

"But wha-"

"Now!" Riley slid into the drivers seat, glancing over at Zane nervously while simultaneously attempting to strap himself in. Zane was rubbing his face and forehead with his hands and suddenly noticed that the car wasn't moving. He looked at Riley who was still struggling with the seatbelt a

nd got impatient. "Can you just… forget the seatbelt and get me out of here?" Riley immediately started the car. The wheels screeched loudly as he reversed too quickly out of the parking space. Riley drove like a maniac the entire way to Zane's apartment, occasionally glancing at Zane along the way.

Riley pulled into the driveway and said nothing when Zane slammed the car door and walked swiftly to the apartment. Riley had the car keys and the house key and had to jog to keep up with Zane. He tried to be quick with opening the door, but ended up being clumsy instead. The door finally opened and Zane pushed by Riley and immediately began to take off his shirt. After he took it off, he chucked it to the ground angrily and began to do the same with his pants. He felt dirty, and wanted to strip himself of anything that would remind him of the occurrences of that night. Zane did everything so quickly, that Riley barely locked the door of the apartment behind him before Zane had disappeared into the bathroom.

For about thirty minutes, Riley couldn't stop moving. He paced back and forth in Zane's living room, contemplating all of the things that could have happened in the room. He wondered why Zane didn't run out of there sooner, or call him like he told him to. Riley's thoughts were interrupted when Zane walked out of the bathroom after taking an unusually long shower. The two made brief eye contact before Zane sauntered into his room. Riley waited a few minutes to follow him.

Riley knocked on the door before opening it slowly. Zane was sitting on the edge of the bed, in his towel, with his hands over his face. Riley could feel his heart falling to pieces. To him, Zane was the greatest, most adorable person he knew, and seeing him cry was like watching puppies go up in flames.

Riley sat next to Zane in silence and without movement. He didn't know what to do, or how to comfort him. He tried to pull one of Zane's hands away from his face so that he could see his eyes. Zane lifted his face and Riley's face saddened at the sight. Zane's face was red and his eyes were puffy. Riley could see a few spots on Zane's face and neck that were unusually red, which would probably bruise later. Riley held back his own tears as he walked out of the room and went into the kitchen. He had to steady himself against the counter before reaching into the freezer to retrieve some ice for Zane's bruises. He jogged back into Zane's room, where he was still sitting in the same position. He sat next to him again, and handed him the bag of ice. Zane gave Riley a look that said 'thank you' and positioned it on his lower back. Riley glanced at Zane and saw the rug burn that covered the front and back of his torso.

Riley wanted to scream at Zane. He wanted to tell him he told him so, and that he knew it was a bad idea for him to go up there. But, it would have been out of selfishness. Riley cared for Zane so much, that he almost hated him for putting himself in danger. But he knew that "I told you so" wasn't what Zane needed to hear. He also knew that Zane wasn't the one he should be mad at, the only one at fault was Mat. Riley took note to take care of him later.

Riley stood up and pulled back Zane's covers. Zane looked back at Riley and crawled under his comforter and snuggled into his pillow. Riley positioned the ice on Zane's back until he was comfortable and sat in a chair in the corner of the room. Riley sat there and watched Zane wince and reposition himself uncomfortably. While Riley was watching Zane suffer, he was suffering himself. He could feel every pain in Zane's body as if it were his own. Riley turned off the light and sat in the corner of the room, fuming. He sat there for hours, and didn't stand up to leave until he was sure Zane was asleep.


	32. Unsuspecting Witness

**PLEASE READ: OMG i'm sooooo sorry guys, the chapter i last uploaded wasn't the next one...and it wasn't finished...i'm sooo sorry. but i deleted it!**

**This was what was supposed to come next:**

Riley glanced at the clock in Zane's car and saw that it was 11 pm. He had lifted Zane's car keys and decided to take a little drive to Mat's room. He had done some snooping to find out Mat's room number and was confident that he wasn't making a mistake.

Riley had time to think about his actions. It wasn't a spur of the moment ordeal, like most of his spouts of anger, and it wasn't a crime of passion. It was what had to be done.

Riley got to the hotel and tried his best to maintain a low profile. He ran up the stairs to Mat's floor, and slowly walked down the hallway. He reached Mat's room and knocked softly. When Mat didn't answer he knocked again, harder than the first time. The third time he was rattling the entire door frame and the loud hollow noise that his fist made when it came in contact with the door was echoing throughout the hallway.

"Come on." Riley whispered to himself as he began to have second thoughts. He didn't want to chicken out, he wanted to take care of what he had come there to do. He played with the door knob and began to slam his shoulder into the door. If Mat didn't know who was knocking, he did now. Riley screamed at Mat through the thick door and continued to slam himself against it, even though he knew it was useless.

"Open the god damn door!" he screamed as he hit the door continuously, bruising his shoulder. After a few minutes, a few people had appeared from their rooms and were looking curiously and anxiously at Riley. Riley stopped all movement and backed away from the doorway, as if he were going to leave. When the people had gone back into their rooms, Riley returned. He looked around the hallway, trying to find a different approach. He noticed that one of the maids had left their carts unattended. He ran to the cart and grabbed the master key, which was conveniently hanging off of the side of the cart.

He hesitated at first, but seconds later unlocked the door of Mat's room and let himself in. Mat's room didn't look like a war zone, as he had expected, but looked surprisingly clean. The only thing he noticed was a slight indentation in the wall to his left and an overturned chair to his right. Riley almost didn't notice Mat sitting in the open window in front of him. Mat had one leg hanging out of the window, and the other perched on a sill as he smoked his cigarette. He didn't acknowledge Riley's presence.

Riley's first instinct was to run up and push him, but he shook the thought from his mind and began to speak. He was immediately interrupted.

"Did you ever wonder what it would be like, to not exist?" Riley paused and pondered at the almost unrecognizable voice. Mat's voice was flat and his accent almost nonexistant. The oddness in his voice threw Riley off guard, so he didn't answer. Mat looked back at Riley when he didn't say anything. He smirked and turned his attention back out of the window. "I thought it was you." Riley tried to stay courageous and cleared his throat so that his voice wouldn't crack.

"Let's go. I've been waiting for this. You've been too. Let's just do this." Mat shook his head and spoke with the cigarette between his teeth.

"I don't want to fight you."

"Oh, so now you wanna chicken out. Afraid I'm gonna finish you off?" Mat stared down at the ground that was nine stories below him and parted his lips and let his cigarette fall. He watched it fall for as long as the night sky would let him.

"You don't have to." Riley heard a bit of sadness in Mat's voice, but didn't catch on to the seriousness of the situation.

"What, you gonna drag me across the floor too? You really think I was just gonna let you get away with that? Are you crazy?" Mat turned around at the sound of the last word and Riley saw his face for the first time.

His nose was bloody and swollen, and there were dark circles under his eyes, which led Riley to believe that Mat's nose was broken. Obviously, Zane wasn't the only one who had taken a beating that night. Mat pulled his one leg from out of the window and squatted on the ledge. Riley flinched and tilted his head so that he could get a better view. There was nothing in front of Mat's feet, if he moved the wrong way, it was a free fall down to the pavement below him. Mat stood up in the window and used only one hand to hold onto the side.

"I don't know," he mumbled as he stared at the ground "You tell me." Suddenly, it all hit Riley at once. It was enough to cause him to stagger backwards.

"No." Riley said as he began to walk towards Mat "No, no no no no…" Riley seemed to repeat himself twelve times, because he knew nothing else to say. "What are you doing?" Mat shook his head and held one foot above the ground, causing Riley to grab his hair. He was beginning to hyperventilate, but he tried his best to stay silent so that Mat would have no impulse to jump. "Dude, get back in here." Mat shook his head and let go of the ledge. The only thing keeping him from falling was his balance alone.

Riley cringed and felt as if he had a slight stroke. He didn't want to watch this, let alone have to explain it to police afterwards. He could feel a disturbance in his stomach. He was going to vomit.

"Mat," he said as his voice cracked. There was no hope in trying to keep his voice steady any longer "don't." Mat finally grabbed the side of the window and Riley let out a sigh of relief. "Now, the other hand." Mat laughed and released his hand from the window again, Riley could feel a cool breeze coming through the window that tosseled Mat's hair. He was afraid that the slightest motion would send Mat tumbling forward. "Good God, don't do that!" Riley thought about what would get Mat to come back to safety, but there wasn't much he could think of. "Dude, Zane…he would never be able to live with himself if you…just come back inside."

"Maybe it's better that way. Maybe he'll feel what I feel…maybe he'll join me."

"What the hell are you talking-" Riley stopped himself, realizing that it was a bad way to go. He couldn't treat Mat like he was crazy. If he did, he would jump for sure. "I don't think it would work out that way. I think he'd be sad, and he'd hate himself, he'd hate me…"

"Good. You're a bastard anyway." Riley felt that he was going to cry. But for no other reason than the fact that he felt helpless. He didn't know at, he had already made enemies with the guy. There was absolutely nothing he could say or do that could fix this. He almost wished that he had never lifted the master key and that that he never even drove to the hotel in the first place. He would never have to witness this.

"Mat, get the fuck in here." Mat put both hands on the window and bit his lip, looking curiously back at Riley who sounded so helpless, that Mat couldn't help but sense the emotion in his voice. "I'm not gonna let this happen, I'm not watching you do this, and I'm not having your blood on my hands now get the fuck in this room, close the god damn window and sit the fuck down!"

There was a ringing in both of their ears after Riley stopped screaming. Mat shook his head once and looked out across the sky line. Riley could see Mat staring down at the ground with curiosity, and he leaped forward. Riley grabbed the back of Mat's shirt and wrapped his arm around his torso, pulling him down from the ledge. Mat fought to get out of his grip, and then stopped. Riley shut the window and stationed himself infront of it before leaning on his knees and taking a deep breath.

Mat smirked at Riley, who had never felt more confused and helpless in his entire life.

"What was that?" Riley asked breathlessly, "What's wrong with you?" Mat laughed at Riley and right hooked him, directly in the cheek. Riley stared at Mat before grabbing him by the neck and pulling his elbow back as if he were going to punch him. Right before he was about to pummel Mat's face, the lunatic began to laugh. He laughed so manically that all Riley could do was stand there and stare at him out of confusion.

Mat didn't seem to care that Riley had just saved his life. He didn't mind that his face was turning purple from the lack of oxygen to his brain. And he didn't care that he was cackling so loudly that the entire hotel was disturbed.

As Riley looked at the laughing boy that was slowly going faint at his hands, it was then that he knew that Mat was completely reckless, absurdly hopeless and utterly insane.


	33. Holiday

** *PLEASE READ!***

**For those of you who read this chapter when it was chapter 32, please go back and read the REAL chapter 32, it has been replaced. Also, when I posted this chapter it was not complete, so I suggest you re-read it, or read the end.**

**Sorry for the mixup guys. Ahh first time for everything haha 3**

Zane fell forward, face first onto the ground. He turned around and saw that Riley had tackled him from behind, causing him to thud stomach first into the soft snow underneath him. Zane rolled over on top of Riley and pinned his boyfriend's arms to the ground. Riley's hat was covering the top of his eyes, but Zane could see that his smile spread over his entire face.

"Football seasons over captain." Zane whispered as he held Riley to the ground against his will. Riley laughed causing Zane to stare at his smile. Zane couldn't resist leaning down and giving him a warm peck on the lips. Zane could feel the coldness of Riley's nose as it pressed against his.

"I was gonna say something…" Riley said as he beamed up at his boyfriend "But I forgot it."

It had been a month since Mat left, and the Degrassi students were on break for the winter. Riley never told Zane about the incident, or about Mat being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.

When Riley didn't return to Zane's until the morning after the incident, no questions were asked. Riley simply told Zane that Mat was going back to brazil in a few hours, and that was it. Zane seemed to have no idea that Riley had spent most of his time at a hospital with a drugged down Mat who was on suicide watch.

It all made sense to Riley. Dysfunctional personal relationships, fluctuating moods, general recklessness, fear of rejection and abusive behavior were all signs of BPD. It also made sense why Mat continued to write to Zane after a year, surprisingly being annoyingly clingy was a symptom as well. Because Mat had gone untreated for so long, it led to suicidal thoughts. The doctor said that if Riley weren't there to disrupt those thoughts, Mat would probably be floating above their heads.

Riley was surprised that he was thinking back to that night. He hadn't in a while and he was surprisingly unemotional.

"What's on your mind?" Zane asked in a low voice as he searched Riley's face for an answer. Riley didn't plan on telling Zane, ever. He simply hoped that the entire incident would disappear.

Riley glanced to his left and let a slow smile spread across his face.

"You really wanna know?" Zane rolled his eyes out of amusement and let him roll off of Riley and settle beside him. He leaned on his elbow for support as he looked into Riley's eyes and smirked.

"Is that all you think about?" Riley laughed and pulled his hat from over his eyes.

"Maybe if you uglied yourself up alittle it wouldn't be such a problem." Zane laughed and began to stand up. He dusted the snow off of his snow pants and adjusted his hat with gloved hands. When he saw Riley struggling to stand in his snow gear, he offered his hand and pulled him up. Zane held onto Riley's hand and pulled him toward his body while smiling brightly.

"Have I told you how hot you look in that outfit?" he whispered as Riley blushed lightly. It almost went unnoticed because his entire face was red from the bitter cold. Riley laughed and brushed his bare hand against Zane's face before cradling his cheeks with both hands.

"Zane, you're freezing."

"You gonna warm me up?" Riley leaned his forehead against Zane's and leaned in for a kiss, but instead of Zane's warm lips he felt cold snow stinging the left side of his face. Riley parted from Zane and looked around him to see where the snowball had come from.

"Obviously you two forgot the rules." Drew said smartly as he trudged through the snow with one hand behind his back. "One, keep the PDA to a minimum. Two, every man for himself!" Drew through the next snowball and hit Riley in the ear. Riley heard Zane snicker behind him. That was all it took for Riley to grab a handful of snow and chuck it at Drew's chest. Riley and Drew ran off pushing each other and throwing snow, while Zane sat on a park bench with Anya.

"You're not gonna join?" Anya asked timidly as she shuffled her feet in the snow.

"Nah, thought you could use some company." Anya nodded and refused to make eye contact with Zane. She tried to seem distracted by Riley and Drew's snowball fight. "You okay?"

"Oh! Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Thank you." Anya shook her head at her frazzled answer. It was obvious that she was lying. She was okay with being the third wheel, even the fifth, but she had never been the seventh wheel. With Riley and Zane, Drew and Alli and Adam and Fiona there, she couldn't help but feel lonely. Zane noticed her hesitation and patted her on the leg.

"Don't move, I'll be right back." Zane jumped up from the bench and carefully walked toward Riley and Drew as they continued to pumble each other with snow. Riley stopped once Zane was within a few feet of him and immediately changed his facial expression to a less devious and more welcoming smile. More than anything, Zane loved the way Riley looked at him with his beautiful, warm eyes. He had to refrain from jumping into Riley's arms and giving him a big kiss for being so loving and adorable.

"Hey you." Riley whispered with a huge smile on his face. Zane stopped in front of Riley and smiled.

"Anya and I are gonna take a walk. We'll be back in a half hour, okay?"

"Yeah, just… don't go too far." Zane smiled and nodded as he turned around to walk back toward Ana. After he turned around, Riley lightly slapped him on the backside, causing Zane to turn around and give him a disapproving, yet amused smirk. Riley stared after him with a soft smile and eventually looked back toward Drew, who was making circles in the snow with a stick.

"Hey, wanna join the others?" Drew asked with a nod as he began to walk toward Adam, Fiona, Ali and Eli, who had just pulled up.

Since Adam began hanging out with Riley, Zane and Fiona, he had been giving Clare and Eli the cold shoulder. He realized lately how much he missed them, and was trying to get his two groups of friends to join forces.

Riley walked over and took a seat next to Drew. As Fiona comfortably spread herself with her legs over Adams lap and Adam and Eli shared a pair of headphones.

"Adam!" Eli screamed as he tore the earphone out of his ear. "Sound waves don't discriminate. Are you trying to rupture my eardrum?"

"Dude, you can't really listen to Wolf Parade on low volume. You're missing out-"

"Well, if I go deaf I won't be able to appreciate them at all. If I have to, I'd rather lose my hearing when I lose my taste in music, which will be in senility."

"Got it." An awkward silence followed as Riley and Fiona nodded their heads at Adam and Eli's exchange. They never really knew what they were talking about, and they had absolutely no clue what Wolf Parade was, but Adam was important to them, so they would try to adjust. Drew on the other hand made no effort. Ali stared at her nails and looked around. She pretty much knew no one there but Drew. She stood up and looked around for Anya.

"Where's Anya?" She asked in her cute, but loud voice as she adjusted her jacket.

"Her and Zane went for a girl talk," Riley answered, squinting against the sun that was peaking from the clouds "they're in the center of the park."

"Okay well, not that this isn't a blast but I think I'm gonna go find her." Alli stood there, waiting for someone to say anything, but they didn't. "Okay." She said awkwardly as she stepped over people's legs to get out of the circle. After Alli was gone, Drew turned to Riley.

"Riley, can I ask you a…semi personal question?"

"Shoot."

"So you and Zane…you're serious right?"

"Yeah. 7 months." He said proudly with a smile.

"So you two do it like….what? Two-three times a week?" Riley blinked and could feel his face begin to flush immediately.

"Dude…" Adam interrupted, as he looked exasperated and embarrassed at Drew's frankness. Eli's eyes widened as Drew rolled his eyes and continued.

"No seriously," Riley glanced sideways to be sure that no stranger was hearing this outlandish conversation. "Alli and I have been together for, like, two and a half months."

"Wow, you were _actually_ counting." Drew gave Fiona a disapproving glance and turned his back to Adam and Fiona.

"Yeah, whatever. Dude, _how_ do I get her to have sex with me?"

"So, this is what you people talk about." Eli said as he removed the headphone from his ear and scooted closer into the circle "No wonder Adam left me and Clare for you Neanderthals, this conversation is far more intellectual than any discussion we've ever had." Riley shook his head at Eli and shrugged his shoulders desperately.

"Dude can't help you there. " He said with a smile, "…If you haven't noticed, sleeping with girls isn't...exactly my thing. Why don't you ask these guys?"

"Yeah, like either of those two are nailing anything besides their AP English exams." Eli looked to the sky and squinted in thought.

"I take…little to no offense to that." Drew rolled his eyes at Eli and continued to speak to Riley.

"Plus, it's still kinda the same thing right? A relationship is a relationship."

"Yeah but not when it comes to ...you know" Drew looked at Riley with desperate eyes and Riley took a different approach, careful not to give away the details of his and Zane's sex life in the process.

"Alright, here goes…how often do you think about it?"

"Like, every five seconds. I'm thinking about it right now." Eli rolled his eyes until they rested on Adam.

"Adam…" Eli began with a condescending tone.

"I know, I know…" Adam cut in, "I struggle to believe that we're related."

"Okay," Riley said slowly continuing "Fiona, how often do you think about it?"

"Excuse me?"

"Just, answer…" Fiona shrugged and glanced at Adam.

"Well…I think you're asking the wrong question. It's more of a combination of how often we think about sex and how willing we are to have it. Girls think about it more often than we'd admit, but I'd like to believe that most of us take it more seriously."

"So…" Eli drew as he inched himself back into the conversation "I'm assuming you have no inkling that Bianca exists" The whole group shivered at her name, especially Adam.

"She's the exception," Fiona said with a smile, "not the rule."

"Can you just…answer the question." Drew said, a little too eagerly. Fiona removed her legs from Adam's lap and sat on her knees.

"Fine, we think about it enough, but not too much, and we cherish our virginity, more so than most guys." Drew nodded and turned down the corners of his mouth as he took her words into consideration.

"I beg to differ." Eli cut in, finally seeing his place in the conversation "why do women always think that we're willing to exchange bodily fluids with anything if it means that we may come out of it partially satisfied?"

"Because it's mainly true." Fiona said with one hand squeezing Adam's so that he knew he was an exception. "Most guys will bang anything with a pulse and an orifice…and I'm starting to believe that a pulse is optional."

"No," Riley cut in, sarcastically "I like not having to do all the work." Fiona shook her head at Riley's lewdness while Adam and Eli exchanged disgusted glances.

"Adam, 140 decibels please." Eli said quickly as he rushed to put the earphones into his ear.

"Got it." Riley raised his eyebrows at Eli's prudishness and lowered his voice as not to disturb him.

"Okay, so what does that have to do with anything?" Drew asked Riley as he began to get impatient.

"Alright, so you're thinking about her constantly. It's on your mind all the time..."

"Don't act like it's all me man, you're thinking it too."

"I am. Most guys are, Zane included. Which is my point. Imagine if Alli were as…hormonal and willing as you are, and for that matter, most guys on the planet. What would your relationship be like?"

"A non-stop bang fest."

"Exactly...that's the difference." Drew paused for a moment and squinted his eyes as he tried to process Riley's point. A few moments later it hit him, and he wasn't sure if he was freaked out by his epiphany, or proud of himself for actually seeing where Riley was going with this.

"So, I need to make her think like me?"

"You'd have to give her severe head trauma to get her to think half of the idiotic things that run through your mind on a daily bases." Eli said harshly as he began to stand up and walk toward his hearse. Adam rolled his eyes and ignored the fact that his friend was completely belligerent to befriending the other people in the circle.

"Make her trust you." Fiona said with an emphasis on trust. "Believe me, the less you pressure her and the more supportive you are, the more you will get." Drew nodded, and as if on cue, Ali, Anya and Zane returned completely oblivious to the conversation that had taken place. An awkward silence filled the air as the friends in the circle stared at Ali and Zane, as if their thoughts on them had changed completely. Zane ignored the silence and sat next to Riley, who welcomed him with an arm around his shoulder. Ali nodded at the awkward silence and sat down next to Drew, who mirrored Riley and put his arm around Ali.

"So guys," Anya began as she tried to sever the silence "what are your plans for the holidays?" Drew shrugged his shoulders and looked toward Adam, who did the same.

"I'm spending it with Riley's family. He invited me over." Anya nodded at Zane while Ali and Fiona made eyes at their boyfriends.

"Wow, how sweet of him." Ali said, hinting toward Drew. Drew ignored her and looked directly at Zane and Riley.

"Don't you think your parents would be a little…suspicious that you two are spending the holiday together? That's kind of a relationship thing."

"Well, they won't have to be suspicious," Riley said bravely "I'm gonna tell them." All of the girls smiled, their faces alit with amusement. Zane looked surprised before he smirked and looked at Riley.

"Really? You sure?" he asked quietly, so that Riley wouldn't be afraid to answer honestly.

"Yep. I mean, once they know about what I'm giving you for Christmas, they're bound to suspect something."

"You got me something?" Zane asked eagerly as he tugged on Riley's jacket.

"Oh," Fiona said with a sly smile directed toward Adam, "that's nice. Isn't it Adam?" Adam rolled his eyes and looked desperately at Riley.

"Dude," Drew cut in before Ali had a chance to ask a similar question "cut it out, you're making us look bad."

"Riley this is amazing." Anya gushed as she leaned in to look Riley in the eyes "when are you gonna tell them?"

"Tonight. It's Christmas Eve, I have no other choice." Zane looked worriedly at Riley and spoke to him softly.

"Don't rush. If you're not ready, I can wait."

"No, you've waited this long. It's not fair to keep doing this to you." Zane nodded, solemnly, nervous about Riley's choice in timing. But he trusted his boyfriend, and knew that Riley knew his own parents better than Zane ever will.


	34. Out

"Mom!" Riley shuffled through the door, trying to squeeze his sled and snow covered boots through the hallway without making a mess. He stopped in his tracks when his mom appeared around the corner. "Hey, can we talk?"

"Not before you put that outside. There will be no mess on my floor tonight, I already mopped." Riley rolled his eyes and left his sled, boots and most of his snow covered gear outside before walking into the kitchen. His mom was folding clothes in the living room. He figured that because she wasn't doing anything important, it was the perfect time to drop the bomb.

"Do you have a few minutes?" He asked, surprisingly excited to finally tell her the truth. She glanced up from the clothing basket for only a moment before returning her attention to her folding.

"Sure Riley, just give me a minute. I have so much to do before tomorrow. With your grandparents coming over and your cousin, Marina-"

"Grandma and Grandpa are coming?" It was enough for Riley to explain Zane's presence to his mother and father, but he sure wasn't ready to explain it to the rest of the family.

"Just for a while. Then they are going right back to Greece. To them, Canada leaves much to be desired." Riley nodded softly, waiting for his mom to finish with the clothes. He almost wished that she never would finish. He wanted the folding to go on forever and ever so that he would never have to say a word. Unfortunately, that's not what happened. She took the basket into Riley's room, then her room before returning it to the laundry room. "Okay, What is it that you want to tell me?" She asked sweetly as she sat down on the couch and motioned for Riley to sit next to her.

Riley could feel himself starting to sweat, and he began to ring his hands and look anywhere but at his mother. She rested her hand on his back and moved it in circles, trying to comfort him.

"Oh Riley, you're shaking. How about I get you some tea huh? It must be below zero degrees outside." Mrs. Stavros began to stand up, but Riley took her hand and pulled her down toward the couch.

"No…ma, we need to talk about this now." Mrs. Stavros looked at Riley with concern and sat facing him to show that she was interested in what he had to say.

"Okay. Tell me." Riley opened his mouth to speak and that stopped. He could feel his throat closing up, and knew that if he said one word his voice would crack. "Riley? Tell me now, it's okay."

"Mom, I invited Zane over… to celebrate the holidays with us tomorrow." Mrs. Stavros let her shoulders slouch as she breathed a sigh of relief. She cupped Riley's face with her hands and looked sympathetic.

"That's it? Baby, it's okay. I'll just make some extra macaroni." His mom stood up and walked into the kitchen and began to take out cooking products. "I know you star athletes will eat the whole meal on your own if you are allowed." Riley stared after her and stood up. He walked to the kitchen and leaned against the counter, waiting for his mom to stop talking for even a second.

"Mom…"

"He does like macaroni? Oh, and go get some clean sheets from the laundry room so we can make his bed…"

"Mom."

"Oh! What on earth are we going to get him? We can't send him home empty handed, his parents would think-"

"Ma!" Mrs. Stavros shuttered when Riley's voice filled the room. She closed the cabinet and turned to face him with shock and a little bit of fright in her eyes. "Just…hold on."

"Fine, you want me to hold on? I'm holding on. What is the problem Riley?"

"Zane's…" Riley paused, recognizing the loudness of his voice when he heard it echo off of the kitchen walls. Riley thought for a moment, careful not to stumble over his words. "Zane's gay and-"

"He's what? Well, you tell me this now? I treat this boy like-like he's a member of our family, love him like a son and you tell me this now?" Riley looked at the anger in his mother's face and began to chicken out. If she were that upset about Zane being gay, imagine how she would react when he admitted to being gay as well. "Well I will pray for his parents. And as for you, how could you be friends with someone and know this huh?"

"We're-We're not friends…"

"Good." Mrs. Stavros turned around so that her back was to Riley and continued to work at the stove. Even though it was clear that Zane wasn't to be coming over for Christmas, she continued to cook. "I wouldn't want you to be."

"We're more than that." Mrs. Stavros continued to rummage through the cupboards a few moments after Riley finally released the truth and than stopped cold. It had finally hit her. "Mom, I'm…I'm gay-"

"No." Riley squinted at the back of his mother's head, instead of anger, he heard frustration, hurt and tears in his mother's voice. She put her hand over her mouth and shook her head. As if she refused to believe anything more than what she wanted to. "No…"

"Ma, please-"

"Be quiet. I don't want to hear anything from you…"

"But mom-"

"Not a word, I said!" Riley had never seen his mother in this state before. It was like he had come running at her at full speed in his football pads, and knocked all of the wind out of her. She looked like she was gasping for air. "How long…" She finally managed to ask. Riley paused, afraid to answer. "How…long?"

"What do you mean?"

"…how long have you been keeping this from me?"

"Se-Seven months."

"Jesus Christ." Her arms gave in from beneath her, and she was leaning against the kitchen sink with her fore arms, trying to keep her self from collapsing completely. Riley still felt that he hadn't said what he needed to to set himself free, so he encouraged himself to continue, even though his mother was doubled over in emotional agony.

"I really, really love Zane. I've never felt this way about anyone-"

"Okay! Enough." She said as she finally faced Riley again. Mrs. Stavros sniffled and rubbed her nose with the back of her hand. Riley thought he was mistaken, but he could have sworn that underneath the fury and the tears, was a hint of guilt. "Oh, my baby." She whispered as she rested a hand on Riley's cheek. Riley gratefully rested his head in her hands, relieved that she wasn't to disgusted to touch him. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing happened... I can't fix it, trust me, I've tried."

"Is it our fault? I should have made sure that your father came home after his long shifts."

"Mom, it has nothing to do with Dad, it has to do with me." His mother put her hand over her mouth once more and nodded. It was too much for her to handle at once. She thought back to when she first met Zane months ago, and how they had held hands walking out of the living room that day, and she didn't even notice. Not until now. She immediately began bawling, all it took was the recognition of her own ignorance to tip her over the edge. Riley wiped at his own tears and kept his distance. Afraid that if he reached out and touched her, she would simply push him away.

"Did you tell your father?"

"No, I don't know how." Mrs. Stavros slowly pulled herself together and cleared her eyes. She fixed her curly hair so that it was shaped nicely and wiped her damp hands against her blouse.

"I can't fix you." She said harshly to herself as she slowly shook her head in defeat.

"So I guess, Zane can't celebrate Chri-"

"No. Absolutely not! And neither can you." Riley squinted his eyes and breathed heavily. This was what he had feared most about coming out. She couldn't kick him out, not now.

"Wha-What?"

"Get out of my house." Riley stood there for a moment and pondered at the careful way she delivered the words, and the small speck of sympathy in her eyes. He realized that she was doing this, not because she couldn't stand to look at him, but more to protect him. Riley nodded and began to walk backwards toward the hallway. He glanced softly at his mother and stopped before reaching the door.

"What are you going to tell dad?" he asked desperately. He still wasn't ready to come out to his father yet. And when he did, he wanted to be the one to say it, not his upset mother.

"I'll take care of it." She answered distractedly as she wrapped two dishes of food and handed them to Riley. "Here. Wherever you go, you will never be without food." Riley almost smiled at the sadness in his mother's eyes but stopped himself. He knew that Mrs. Stavros didn't want him to see the sympathy behind her actions. Little did she know that she was completely transparent. "Now, get. " Riley rubbed his eyes, trying to catch the tears and than left his house. Before he closed the door behind him, he looked back at the kitchen, caught his mother's eye and could've sworn that he saw her smile.

**Sorry guys, I wish I could update more often. **** Maybe I'll write again tomorrow.**


	35. Vagabond

Riley lightly knocked on the door of Peter's dorm with his right hand as he held the plates of food in his left. His backpack, which was sloppily packed with necessities for the next two days, hung off of his right arm. While Riley's first thought was to go to Zane's after his mother exiled him from his own house, he thought that it would be better to go to Peter's. He didn't want to bother Zane with upsetting news on Christmas Eve, plus how was he going to plan Zane's surprise with him there?

The loud sound of heavy metal flooded out of the door when Peter finally peeked out. He seemed more than surprised to see Riley standing there, alone and awkward in the hallway.

"Dude, hey…um…" Peter scrunched his face at Riley and let his voice trail off as he waited for an explanation.

"Can I just come in? I'll explain in a second. "

"Yeah my room mate is kinda trying to study…think we can take this someplace else?"

"I come baring Christmas macaroni." Riley said temptingly as he hovered the plate under Peter's nose so that he could get a whiff.

"Sweet, brain food." Peter kicked the door open with his foot, took one of the plates out of Riley's hand, and selfishly turned his back as Riley struggled through the door. Riley looked around at the horrifically disheveled dorm and scrunched up his nose. It smelled of rotten bananas and sweat.

Riley looked to the corner of the room and peaked over Peter's shoulder. There sat a kid with a brown shag and a black, striped skullcap. The kid was dressed in a grey t-shirt and ratty jeans that looked as if they hadn't been washed since he first bought them, which, by the looks of them, was probably six years ago.

"Riley, this is A-Wall, my roommate." Riley snickered at the name and mouthed it to Peter out of mockery. Peter returned to his side and leaned sideways to whisper in Riley's ear. "Yeah uh…he felt that Albertson Waldfried was too 'homo' for him…no offense."

"Waldfried?"

"It's German." Peter walked back toward A-wall and put a hand on his shoulder. Even though there was already music blasting, A-wall had a pair of headphones in, blasting music ridiculously similar to the music in the room. A-wall tore his ear buds from his ears and looked up at Peter, than back at Riley.

"Who're you?" he asked in a voice that was surprisingly low for a kid of his stature. He was pretty small and still looked to be about sixteen.

"A-wall, this is Riley, Riley A-wall."

"Hi." Riley said with a smile, which quickly faded when he got no answer back. A- wall nodded after a few moments and turned in his chair. He slouched down but looked Riley in the eyes.

"You're Greek."

"Y-yeah-"

"High school…senior?" Riley looked at A-Wall completely baffled and let his bag drop to the ground. A-Wall stood from his chair with curiosity in his eyes and stepped toward Riley. He stood uncomfortably close.

"Hockey…no, football." Riley nodded and squinted his eyes at Peter, who scrunched his shoulders in response. "Quarterback."

"Dude-" Riley cut in, trying to imply that he was invading his personal space. A-Wall circled Riley and looked him up and down. The results of his observations had him laughing when he returned to his original spot in front of Riley. He looked down at Riley's feet, then back up into his eyes with a condescending glare.

"Faggot." He spat, but not as an insult, just as a fact. As if it were written on Riley's forehead. Riley blinked and scratched behind his ear. A-wall looked satisfied with himself before he returned to his seat and continued to look through his books.

"Sorry," Peter said without any true emotion "he does that to everyone. I don't know how. He's just-"

"Let me guess," Riley began as he stepped toward A-Wall , "a burn out?" A-Wall smirked and raised his eyebrows, completely un phased by Riley's false confidence. If he could contract all of Riley's background information by looking at him, Riley knew that he could tell exactly what he was feeling at the moment.

"Nope," A-wall responded with a hoarse tone "prodigy." Riley shook his head and turned his back to A-wall so that he could speak to Peter without fuming.

"Listen, I just got kicked out."

"Bummer…what for?"

"Oh! Lemme guess." A-wall stood up from his chair and stood next to Riley again who was trying not to make eye contact. "Failed out of school? Nah…Dating someone they don't like?" Riley didn't respond and A-wall hit himself on the forehead between the silence "Damnit I'm an idiot. You're new."

"New how?" Peter asked, completely puzzled by the conversation A-wall was having with himself.

"He just came out to his parents." He said with a condescending laugh as he began to sit down in his chair "dumb fuck." Peter shook his head and dragged Riley out into the hallway so that he wouldn't have to fight with the loud music.

"You came out?"

"To my mom. She wasn't too happy…but she didn't seem too angry either."

"Oh, yeah, right cause kicking you out of your house isn't angry or anything." Riley shook his head and tried to skip right to the point.

"I need a place to stay." Peter looked sideways and scrunched his shoulders

"Okay, and what do you want me to do?"

"Let me stay here. Just for a day."

"What? No. Dude, are you kidding? If housing found out…I'd loose my spot for sure. Do you know how many strikes A-wall and I have after being here for only four months? It's ridiculous man."

"So, they'll never know. I'll sleep in the closet if I have to. I need to stay somewhere. "

"Sorry, I can't. You don't want to stay with A-wall anyway." Riley rolled his eyes and tried not to show his disappointment, but failed. "Dude's an ass hole." Peter said, trying to convince Riley that there were better places to stay. "Instead of you telling him about yourself he'll be telling you your own life story. Things that you forgot about yourself or wanted to forget…didn't even know, he'll bring up and you'll punch him out guaranteed." Riley nodded and pushed by Peter back into the room, where he picked up his backpack, and the one plate of food that A-wall wasn't already devouring.

"I'll call a friend, see if there's a spot open at their place."

"Why don't you just stay at your boyfriend's?" A-wall said from his secluded spot near the window "I can sense that you're sexually frustrated." A-wall giggled at himself but didn't turn around. Instead he continued to look nervously through his book.

Peter ignored him. "We're still set for tomorrow alright? The Dot will be closed for the holidays and I'll give you the key. I already ran it over with the boss."

"Alright," Riley said with an enthusiastic, yet nervous sigh. " hope everything runs smoothly."

"Excuse me," A-wall cut in obnoxiously "your fear of rejection is clogging up my orifices, will you leave if I tell you that he'll say yes?" Riley raised his eyebrows and began to walk backwards. A-walls telepathy was starting to creep him out.

"Maybe it is a better idea for me to get out of here." Riley mumbled at Peter as he began to show himself out. "You know, last time I had to deal with a crazy person, he almost died." Peter raised an eyebrow at Riley and glanced back at A-wall who immediately stopped laughing before slowly turning his head back at Peter.

"Dude…" he whispered timidly as Riley began to walk out, self satisfied and laughing at himself, "he wasn't lying about that."


	36. A Place to Stay

Adam rushed to the door in a t-shirt and sweat pants, a more modest look than he usually donned at school, and without his hat. When he saw Riley at the door he immediately covered his head. He knew that he looked more feminine when he was hatless, which was why he planned on getting his hair cut even shorter next time.

"Dude, it's okay." Riley said reassuringly as he tried not to glance down at Adam's unwrapped chest "we're close enough." Adam nodded and slowly let his hands drop from his head before he quickly crossed them over his chest. He had forgotten that he didn't wrap himself this morning.

"Wha- what are you doing here? It's getting late dude, don't you have some Christmas planning to do with your big, fat, Greek family?"

"Nope, kicked me out."

"So, you came out…I guess I don't really need to ask you how it went." Riley shrugged and refrained from explaining any further. He already knew that he would be telling that story a few more times before Christmas was over. "Guess that means it's my turn eh?" Adam said reluctantly. Riley nodded, almost as if he dreaded Adam's anxious facial expression.

"Alright," Adam answered, "deals a deal." Riley nodded and awkwardly glanced from left to right and then expectantly at Adam. "You wanna come in?" he asked, lack luster as he held the door open for Riley to step into his house. Riley had never been to Adams' house before. And he was a little nervous. From what he had seen before, his mom was a hard ass. The last thing he needed was someone who would be there to judge every move he made.

"Mom's out, " Adam said as if reading Riley's mind. Riley had had enough of the telepathy for the day, and cringed slightly at the coincidence. "Drew's with her, picking up last minute Christmas stuff. Dad's upstairs." Riley smiled awkwardly and Adam rolled his eyes. It was clear that Riley didn't want to talk to anyone but Adam at the moment. "Dad!" Adam called up the stairs "Riley's here."

"Hey Riley!" Called down a deep voice from the room at the end of the hall. Adam let Riley drop his bag and directed him toward the kitchen. He grabbed a can of soda for each of them and was careful not to shake them up as he walked swiftly to the living room.

"So, why aren't you at Zane's? I mean, not that I mind you being here but, you practically live at each other's houses dude."

"He doesn't even know yet." Adam narrowed his eyes and cut them at Riley as he tried to open his soda.

"Well, maybe you should tell him."

"Oh, I will tomorrow. When I give him his present." Riley said cheerfully as he gulped his soda with dancing eyes. He looked like a little boy, which made Adam laugh.

"You're so whipped it's not even funny." Riley laughed and then stopped for a moment. He _was_ whipped. And surprisingly, he didn't care if people knew. Riley shrugged in response to Adam, which caused Adam to raise an eyebrow.

"So, you gonna ask for his hand in marriage or what?" Riley playfully rolled his eyes at Adam's sarcasm and nudged him with his knee.

"Mm you still have to talk to Fiona." Adam sighed and pushed his hair back with his fingers in a way that was almost feminine. Riley twitched at how girlish Adam looked when he was vulnerable. If he _were_ a girl, he would actually be pretty beautiful.

"I know, I just…I feel like I waited too long you know? It's been months."

"All the more reason to tell her now."

"Now?"

"Right now."

"And what am I supposed to say? Merry Christmas Fiona, your boyfriend has a…" Adam stopped so that he wouldn't have to say the word. He never talked about what was actually going on down there. He always found a way to skirt around it.

"No, invite her out to dinner tonight-"

"She's leaving for New York first thing tomorrow, I shouldn't bother her."

"Trust me, she'll go." Adam slid down on the couch when he realized Riley was right. Once he called her, there would be no turning back. "You could make it a big deal. Get all dressed up… no hat." Adam widened his eyes pleadingly and pressed his lips together. His hat was like his security blanket. "Sorry man. Just… don't lead up to it too much. You don't want her to think she's about to get great news…it'll just make her more upset. Let her know that it may be unsettling."

"Dude, I've done this fifty times before. The delivery is important, but at the end it really just depends on the person." Riley nodded in thought and thought about his mom, and then his dad. It didn't really matter how he said it, his father was still going to hate him. "I guess, if she's not okay with it, It's better that I figure that out now, right?" Riley nodded and hopped off the couch, more excited than he should be. He leapt to reach the phone and tossed it to Adam. "Wait, what do I wear?" Adam and Riley looked at each other confused. Neither of them were savy when it came to formal wear. "Maybe…we should call Zane?"

"I told you, I don't want to see him till tomorrow. We'll just have to wing it."

"You're gay. You're supposed to be good at this stuff."

"Hey, I'm good at this…just not the formal dinner stuff." Adam sighed and lifted the phone to his ear. As his heart beat through his chest, he realized that tonight would be one of his biggest tests of courage.


	37. Adam's Secret

Riley drove Adam's dad's car to the restaurant down the street, trying to calm Adam's nerves along the way.

"Do I look okay? You don't think I'm overdressed?" Riley glanced at Adam's slicked back hair and his button down shirt and suit jacket.

"Nope, if you had gone with the tie, _then_ you would have been overdressed."

"You're right." Adam said as he exhaled harshly. "Good call."

"See, I can live up to the steryotype." Riley said jokingly as he pulled in front of the restaurant. Adam immediately spotted Fiona sitting on a bench. She had straightened her curls, and was wearing a fashionable black coat and wrist length gloves to shield herself from the cold. "There she is." Adam nodded and jumped out of the passengers seat. He grabbed Fiona's wrapped gift and thanked Riley before walking quickly to the door.

"Sorry." He said timidly "am I late?" Fiona's face lit up at the sight of Adam looking prim and proper and she stood up from the bench. She almost towered over Adam in her heels, but he didn't mind.

"No, I was early. I just, couldn't wait to see you." Adam looked at Fiona's made up face and immediately got nervous. He tried not to imagine her upset, with all of that carefully applied mascara running down her cheeks. He noticed the sparkling silver flower in her hair and tried to compliment her.

"I like your flower." Lame. Fiona giggled and lightly touched her hair.

"Why, thank you Mr. Torres, how kind."

Adam tried chivalry on for size and rushed ahead of Fiona so that he could hold the door open for her. "After you." Fiona nodded thankfully and stepped in front of him. He couldn't help but notice how gorgeous her legs looked as she strut through the doors. He was staring so hard that he almost walked into the young waiter that stood to greet them. The waiter looked knowingly at Adam and smiled.

"Good evening." The waiter said cheerfully as he swiftly grabbed some menus from the podium. "Two?"

"Yeah," Adam said as he tried to recover from his embarrassment "I-I mean yes, thank you." When they reached their table, the waiter offered to take Fiona's coat. She removed her coat, revealing a short, bright red cocktail dress that caused Adam's eyes to bug jump. It wasn't so much the dress, it was how it fit her. Fiona knew that she was being a tease, she could tell by Adam's facial expression that she had picked the perfect outfit.

"I've been saving this dress for the right time. I thought that dinner with my honey was the perfect occasion." Fiona's smile began to fade as Adam continued to stare, completely mesmerized. "You don't think it's too much?"

"Sorry I'm just…" Adam tried to find the word for completely and utterly awestruck and only came up with "wow." Fiona blushed tried to keep from biting her fingernails nervously. Adam smiled awkwardly and fiddled with his silverware. He was always nervous around Fiona, but he was extra nervous that night. However, Fiona didn't notice a thing. She was used to him being frazzled around her.

"It's so weird that you didn't have to make reservations on Christmas Eve." Fiona said, desperate for conversation. "This place is so charming."

"It's kind of a well kept secret. My Aunt had her engagement party here." Fiona nodded, trying to seem interested.

"I saw that Riley dropped you off. That was nice of him."

"Oh yeah. He came out to his mom today."

"That's amazing. I don't believe it!" Fiona grinned widely and almost looked like she was going to cry tears of joy. He hoped that she would react this way when he dropped the bomb. "It's hard to believe that I was 'dating' him last year." Adam smirked and laughed softly. "Now he's, madly in love with another guy." Fiona sighed dreamily, causing Adam to roll his eyes.

"More like madly infatuated." Fiona looked slightly offended and fiddled with the napkin in her lap.

"Well, I think it's cute." Adam heard the harsh tone in her voice and immediately recalculated his answer.

"No, it is! It's just… It's scary how quickly things can change." Fiona nodded and rested her arm on the table.

"Speaking of change…are you and Eli friends again?" Adam shrugged and took a sip of water. That question was dangerous territory. "How did you, Riley and Zane become so close anyway?" Adam blushed nervously and smoothed his hair down behind his ear.

"They're friends with Drew, remember?" Adam smirked weakly and tried to look uninterested in the subject, hoping that Fiona would catch the hint and talk about something else.

"Well, now they are. But I thought-"

"Do you want to exchange gifts before or after dinner? I'm practically jumping out of my skin with anticipation." Fiona narrowed her eyes suspiciously but her speculation quickly passed.

"After." She said warmly with an oddly seductive smile. "Your gift is at my place." Fiona rubbed her foot against Adam's leg under the table causing him to shiver. "You can come over afterwards. Just you, me and some candle light-"

"I can't…Riley's staying over tonight." Adam said, relieved that he had a legitimate excuse. "Drew's isn't nearly intelligent enough to keep Riley's real reason for staying a secret for that long." At first Adam laughed shortly at his own joke, but then frowned at Fiona's disappointed look and reached across the table for her hand. She pulled her hand away and looked away from him, blinking heavily. "Fiona," Adam said sweetly, trying to get her to look at him. "Come on, you can't be mad at me about this it's not my fault-"

"I already went through this once."

"Went through what once? What are you talking about?" Adam became frustrated with Fiona as she refused to answer. "Fiona, answer me,"

"You're not…" Fiona glanced down at her lap and then up at Adam, trying to keep herself from bursting into tears. "You're not attracted to me at all, are you?" Adam's face contorted into a look of confusion and condescending disbelief. It was quite the opposite. And he thought that Fiona knew that.

"What?"

"We've been together for almost three months now and you've barely touched me."

"I thought…I was just being sensitive."

"I don't want you to be _that_ sensitive, Adam." Adam rubbed his hands over his face and tried not keep from getting emotional at Fiona's tearful confession. "I got all dressed up, I-I tried to look nice for you and you don't even want me. It's hopeless."

"Fiona, I do want you…really, _really_ badly."

"Then why don't you ever prove it?"

"Because I can't." Adam confessed, still holding back tears. Whenever he got emotional he looked more feminine. It was a reflex for him not to cry. "You didn't notice anything… _different_ about me? You didn't hear any rumors, nothing at all?" Fiona looked at Adam with confusion. She never heard much gossip around Degrassi. Up until recently, Holly J was her only friend. And she was always going back and forth between Toronto and New York.

"What are you talking about?" Adam began to get impatient and he grabbed Fiona's hand from across the table.

"Fiona, look at me."

"I am-

"No, really _really_ look at me." Fiona shook her head and looked away.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She said with an uncomfortable smile. It was then that Adam realized that this idea wasn't completely new to Fiona. There was something in her that was speculating all along, she just never came to terms with it, because she didn't want to. She wanted to believe that one of her relationships was 'normal' for once.

"You do," he said accusingly "you do know what I'm talking about."

"Do we have to do this now?"

"I can't just keep lying to you it's not fair." Fiona looked to the left and tapped her foot under the table. She looked as if she wanted to bolt out of the restaurant. Adam gulped and felt like he was going to vomit. He was going to tell her. There was no better time but no. "I'm a female to male transgender."

Adam paused, waiting for a response. Fiona didn't look at Adam. Her mouth didn't drop. She didn't even raise an eyebrow. She just stared at the door in silence.

She began to bite at her thumbnail until the tip of her finger turned bright red. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. But, I thought that you would hate me I thought-" Adam stopped when he saw the waiter walk toward the table.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, something to drink for the lovely couple?"

"Perrier please." Fiona said in a voice that sounded surprisingly sweet and stable. "Adam?" Adam shook his head at the waiter, feeling almost drunk with nervousness and looked at Fiona with slight disbelief.

"So, what are you thinking?" Fiona opened her menu and smiled sweetly as she skimmed the pages.

"I'm thinking that the caviar looks lovely." Adam squinted at her and tried not to seem anxious.

"So, we're not gonna talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" Fiona asked before she took a short sip of water and returned her attention to the menu in front of her. Adam couldn't believe that she was just going to pretend that their conversation had never happened. After all of his planning and after three months of being together, he figured that this would be either the turning or breaking point of their relationship. Instead, they had made no progress. He would have preferred for her to bust out crying and run out of the restaurant. It would have been better than her pretending that nothing had been said.

"Fiona, don't act like you didn't hear me-"

"Sweetie, how about you try the shrimp alfredo. It would be a nice change from burgers and fries." Adam cleared the tears from his throat and sat up straight. He looked at Fiona painfully, and tried to answer her.

"Sure dear, sounds great."


	38. Eve Night

Riley awakened from a deep sleep when a heavy Christmas wreath was dropped directly onto his head.

"Andrew," he heard Mrs. Torres say strictly as she struggled through the front door "don't throw that on the couch, pick it up and hang it on the garage please." It became obvious to Riley that neither of them knew he was there. The back of the couch was facing the door. Drew must've thrown the wreath without looking. Drew rolled his eyes and walked toward the couch. He reached over the back to grab the wreath, but felt a mass of curly hair in his hand instead.

"Shit!" he yelled as he jumped back from the couch out of surprise.

"Andrew! Language. What has gotten into you?" Drew looked back at his mom with his mouth open, as if he were about to explain, however he decided that Riley's presence was explanation enough. Riley sat up from his sleeping position on the couch and smiled awkwardly at Mrs. Torres.

"Merry Christmas." He joked lamely. Mrs. Torres' eyes widened and she looked sideways out of exasperation. She plopped the rest of the bags onto the kitchen counter before rubbing her forehead and finally looking at Riley.

"Okay, can someone tell me what the hell is going on?"

"Ma, language." Drew joked. He received a sympathy laugh from Riley, but Mrs. Torres didn't seem as amused.

"Drew, upstairs. Now." Drew turned down the corners of his mouth and began to follow his mother's orders. Riley grabbed the sleeve of Drew's leather jacket and held him there.

"Please don't leave me." Riley whispered pleadingly up at Drew, who was still blushing from the cold.

"Should've thought this through man," he whispered back as he forcefully pat him on the shoulder. As Riley listened to Drew's footsteps get further and further away, he tried to avoid eye contact with Mrs. Torres.

"Why are you in my house?"

"Let me explain-"

"You have the nerve to just, make yourself comfortable on my couch after what you did to Andrew? He may have forgiven you but you know that it wasn't in good taste to come here especially without me knowing." Riley glanced down at his hands and shrugged. In a way, she was right. But the incident happened months ago. If he and Drew were mature enough to get over it, she should be as well.

"I really had no where else to go." Riley admitted sadly. "I'm sorry."

"I'm pretty sure there are plenty of other places you could go."

"Mrs. Torres, I'm really sorry, I honestly tried-"

"You don't have any relatives?" Riley sighed and shook his head.

"They don't want anything to do with me."

"That comes as no surprise." Riley couldn't help himself, the cruelty that was behind the last comment caused him to tear up. He wiped at his eyes and began to stand up from the couch. He would have to find somewhere else to stay.

Mrs. Torres face softened as Riley walked passed her, his cheeks stained with tears. She glanced outside and saw that it was snowing quite heavily and noted the darkness that had already settled in the sky.

"Jesus," she whispered reluctantly as he made his way to the door "I didn't mean that." She turned toward the living room and rested her hand on her forehead "Sit down." Riley stopped at the front door and turned around, trying to hide his teary eyes. He did as ordered and sat down on the couch. Mrs. Torres sat in a chair across from him.

"Mr. Torres knows I'm here." Riley said timidly. Mrs. Torres shook her head and raised an eyebrow as if Riley's statement was irrelevant.

"Well he didn't tell me." Riley looked nervously at the floor and figured that he had nothing else to lose. He might as well tell Mrs. Torres the truth.

"I…I came out. To my mom." Mrs. Torres' eyes widened for a brief second and then her face relaxed. She then began to furrow her brow at every word Riley spoke and stared at him as if she were seeing him for the first time. "She kicked me out. I had no where to go." Mrs. Torres sighed and rubbed her chin in thought. Although she was strict herself, she would never kick one of her boys out on Christmas Eve. Even to her, his punishment seemed cruel.

She began to think of Adam and all he had gone through. How she refused to accept him for years of his life, to a point where he had to hurt himself to escape. She glanced at Riley and briefly saw the same sadness in his eyes that she had been ignoring in Adam's. She immediately felt tears stinging her eyes and stood up from the chair before Riley could sense her emotion. Riley watched her stand up and sat further back on the couch. He was afraid of what she would do, or say, but she surprised him by mumbling: "you can stay" as she left him alone in the living room.

Moments later, Adam came through the door,drenched and shivering from the snow. He tore off his jacket and threw it onto the coat rack. He didn't seem to notice Riley sitting on the couch. He walked toward the stairs and did a double take when he saw Riley sitting alone, practically in the dark. Riley smiled awkwardly.

"Did you walk home?" he asked as Adam walked into the living room.

"Yep."

"Why didn't you call me? I would've picked you up."

"I did." Riley glanced at his phone and saw that he had five missed calls, all from Adam. He rolled his eyes at himself and looked sympathetically at his friend who continued to shiver.

"Jeez… Adam, I'm sorry. I must have been really tired." Adam shook his head and began to unbutton his shirt. Riley caught a glimpse of Adam's wrapped chest as he pulled off his wet shirt and yanked a sweatshirt over his head. Riley came to realize that Adam was becoming increasingly comfortable in front of him. They had been friends for months at this point, but it was only then that Riley noticed how comfortable he was in front of Adam as well. "So, how'd it go?"

"Great," Adam said with clear sarcasm as he messed up his gelled hair with his fingers and stepped out of his shoes. "she acted like everything was completely normal." Riley's face lit up and he rested his hand on his arms as he watched Adam make himself a sand which in the kitchen. He clearly didn't pick up the anger and regret in Adam's tone.

"Well that's good news."

"No, like she seriously acted like nothing happened. She ignored me." Riley stared at Adam, confused. His puzzlement must've been obvious because Adam immediately began to explain further. "I told her the truth and she just began to talk about the menu." Adam sat down next to Riley and stared straight ahead. "All of the butterflies, the stalling, the planning… the truth was just, anti-climactic." Riley looked at Adam with sympathy and said nothing, he didn't know how to respond. "She's not okay with it." Adam said, clearly admitting that it was what hurt him the most. "If she were she wouldn't have just, thrown the truth away like it was as worthless as a two dollar bill." Riley pressed his lips together and glanced at Adam who had silenced himself when he realized how much he was talking.

"You know, it may seem worthless now, but the two dollar is going to be worth a lot of money some day." Adam squinted at Riley out of judgment and sat back on the couch with his arms folded.

"Thank you, Mya Angelou."

"I'm serious. She'll go to New York and she'll think about things. I bet she'll come back feeling completely different." Adam shook his head and stood to his feet. He had no desire to think about what may or may not happen in the future with Fiona. It was better to pretend that they had no future than to torture himself thinking about it.

"Honestly, I don't care if she does." With that, Adam excused himself from the living room and began to walk upstairs leaving Riley alone. "Night, Riley." He said over his shoulder, almost as if it were an afterthought.

"Night." Riley called back. But Adam had already disappeared up the stairs. "Merry Christmas." He mumbled sadly to himself before hiding his head in the couch pillows and drifting off to sleep.

**UNEVENTFUL...i know, i know. I simply posted this so that you guys know that i'm still alive**

**I've got some major Ziley shiz written that i'll def post tmrw**

**I feel that we're all deprived cause the new Degrassi promos are pretending that they don't exist.**

**FUCK THAT.**

**But anywhore in better news... it seems that our Fiona/Adam dream may be coming trueeeeee **


	39. Setting Up

**YAY for character development **

Riley stood outside of the Dot the next morning at 10:30 am. Zane would be there at 12, giving him and Peter plenty of time to set up. Riley tapped his foot against the sidewalk to keep him warm in the cool winter air. He glanced from left to right and there was no sign of Peter. Suddenly he shivered, and it wasn't because of the cold.

"Where's Peter?" Riley asked with an intentionally rude tone.

"He got a little _hung_ up this morning." A-wall answered with a smirk. He was wearing a t-shirt in the dead of winter. This kid was obviously screwed up in the head. "Too much special egg nog. But, I'm here." A-wall shrugged his shoulders sweetly and raised his voice to a falsetto "Yay." Riley rolled his eyes and reached out with his hand.

"Do you have the key?"

"Nope, he sent me here without it. I figured we could break down the door with the trunk of a tree or something." Riley scoffed at A-wall's relentless sarcasm and walked toward the door. A-wall followed, pleased that he had successfully pissed Riley off.

"You know, for someone who can read people so well, you have awful people skills." A-wall chuckled as he pushed on the door and gave Riley a hand with the bags of stuff he was carrying.

"People skills are relative. The same old boring shit doesn't please everyone you know." Riley threw his hat on one of the couches and shook out his hair. The kid had a point, how could the same act work on everyone when people were so different? "I know a lot more about you and your personality than you think. Within the next hour, I'll know more about you than you do. You really think that I couldn't make you like me? Or make you fall in love with me, even? I know what gets to you, and what you like. I know how to be your best friend _and_ your worst enemy. How about you just be happy that you're gettin' the real me."

Riley stared blankly at A-wall. His mind was completely blown. He almost said thank you but decided against it.

"Too bad," A-wall began again as he worked his way behind the front counter, "my brother didn't realize that. Left me everything he owned when he died." A-wall looked distractedly down at the counter as he shook his head "I hated that bastard."

Riley was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with every word that A-wall said. He wished there was a way that he could hide all of his mannerisms, every dilation of his pupils and every scent his body was giving off so that A-wall wouldn't be able to read him. But that would be completely impossible. He stared at A-wall as if he had a close encounter with an extra terrestrial and kept a safe distance.

"What do they call people like you?" he asked warily as he began unpacking various bags of food and decorations.

"Devilishly handsome lady killer."

Riley rolled his eyes and kept talking. "No. I mean your 'gift'. What's that?"

"I don't know. I've never really met anyone who could tell me. It's rare though. There're no movies or books about me. Nothin'." Riley shrugged and tried to seem nonchalant. He didn't want A-wall to hear his heart beating or something. "So, what're we cookin' up here?" he asked as he clapped his hands together over the grill.

"You cook?" Riley asked skeptically as A-Wall began to pull out loaves of bread and numerous condiments.

"Fuck yeah, I cook like a beast." Riley found himself laughing at the kid's narcissism and realized that he was taking a liking to him. He stopped his thoughts and wondered if it was just A-wall playing mind games with him, or if he was actually being nice. His thoughts were further interrupted by A-wall himself. "Can I ask you something?"

"You sure you don't know the answer already?" A-wall ignored Riley's comment and scrunched up his nose.

"When did you know that you were gay?" Riley shrugged and began hanging sparkling snowflakes from the ceiling. Riley seemed unsurprised, but it was honestly the last question he thought A-wall would ask him.

"When did you know that you were different?" A-wall shrugged as if he had never considered the answer and thought for a moment.

"Maybe about eight or nine. I know it sounds…late but, I thought everyone else was the same as me."

"Well, somewhere around there. A little earlier than that. I mean, I guess I was born that way. But I didn't actually know that I liked guys until I was old enough to even know that sexuality existed. It's like how you were born straight but didn't _really_ know until you had your first crush."

"Why do you assume that I'm straight?" Riley cut his eyes at A-wall and he half smiled at him.

"You're not?"

"No, I am. I just wanted to read your reaction."

"And…"

"You were excited…but slightly confused?"

"Yeah, because my gaydar is usually accurate." A-wall laughed and Riley noticed that he actually had a beautiful smile. The kid was pretty average other wise.

"I do have one guy crush though."

"Who?"

"JGL." Riley scrunched up his nose and shrugged at the unrecognizable initials.

"The guy's name is all consonants?" A-wall stopped his cooking and looked at Riley with disbelief.

"Joseph Gordon-Levitt… (500) Days of Summer? Inception? Doesn't ring a bell?"

"Oh, yeah I know who he is." Riley smirked to himself and shook his head. "That's an interesting one."

"How so?" A-wall said almost too defensively as he boiled water over the stove.

"Well, most guys go for the obvious." Riley said, quick to explain." Brad Pitt, The Rock…it makes them seem more straight because it doesn't take any thought." A-wall took Riley's words into consideration and nodded.

"Well I thought about it. He's a great actor, he can rock a three-piece suit like it's nobody's business and he actually has a really nice ass."

"Are you sure you're straight?" Riley asked jokingly as he stepped off of the table and began to move all of the chairs to the back.

"I wonder about me sometimes." A-wall said with a laugh. Riley returned from the back and continued to hang posters and fake snow. He lit the fireplace in the corner of the Dot and turned to face A-wall who was busy working over the stove. "Can I ask you something else?"

"Shoot."

"How in hell do you expect to afford all of this?" Riley glanced at A-wall uncomfortably and shrugged.

"A car will have to wait I guess. Plus I still had my college fund. And since Eastern's paying for me to go there I don't need any of it." A-wall scoffed and began to clean off the counter top with a rag.

"Um, dude…books? Food? Housing? It all costs extra." Riley nodded but brushed off the thought. It wasn't like he hadn't thought about it already. But he was tired of giving Zane things that he would throw away, he wanted to do something different this time. He wanted to go all out.

"I'll sort it out. I'd rather spend my money making him happy then on anything else." A-wall stopped cleaning for a moment and looked up. Riley's eyes had become sad with the thought of all of the money he could lose if Zane said no, but he was also proud of himself for his sacrifice.

"Holy shit. You meant that." Riley nodded slowly and tried not to looks so cheesy and maudlin. A-wall's mouth spread into an open smile as he leaned on one arm. "You whipped little bastard."

"That's a new one." Riley responded with a sarcastic laugh. The more people called Riley whipped or joked about him and Zane getting married, the more he realized that the idea of spending the rest of his life with Zane wasn't all that far fetched.

A-wall nodded at Riley's introspective gaze and nodded, seemingly impressed, and began to dry the extra dishes.

"I'm proud of you bro." he said softly as he stacked a bowl next to the sink.

A-wall exhaled as he dried one last bowl and leaned backwards against his elbows on the counter top. He had successfully cooked the entire meal and cleaned up after himself. Riley was very impressed, and amused at how self satisfied A-wall seemed to be. Riley couldn't help but feel attached to the kid. He had really helped him out.

"Thanks man." Riley said sincerely, trying not to seem entirely sentimental. A-wall could sense Riley's sincerity and was unusually touched by it.

"No problem, Skip." He said with a shrug "No problem."


	40. Christmas Gift

Riley paced back and forth inside the dot and adjusted his ski hat about five times. Zane was probably minutes away and he wanted everything to be perfect. A-wall had set up their food display nicely and had made hot chocolate and cider as a friendly bonus. He removed his apron and walked from behind the counter directly into Riley's path, almost getting knocked over in the process.

"Dude, you're making _me_ nervous alright? From what you tell me, he'll love the gift, nothing to worry about. Plus, this place…" A-wall said, stopping to turn around and admire the Dot. It looked exactly like a ski lodge- with a few extra bells and whistles of course. "looks fucking sexy as _hell_. You did good kid."

A-wall turned his focus back toward Riley and gave him a quick once over. He looked at him disapprovingly and removed his hat. He slicked back Riley's curly hair with some of his saliva, causing Riley to make a face, and quickly put the hat back on his head. "There, now he can see your eyes." Riley blushed and tugged at his bright red thermal shirt and his rainbow pride bracelet that he had bought at the mall. He kept stretching it until it was practically falling of his wrist.

"How do I look?"

"Really, _really_ gay."

"Good."

"But, oddly attractive." Riley squinted at A-wall who laughed and shook his head before walking to the ATM machine in the corner of the Dot. He turned his back to Riley before punching in a few numbers. An unfathomable amount of cash began to flood out of the machine. Riley watched in awe as A-wall nonchalantly put the money in his pocket and went about his business.

"There he is." Riley said excitedly as he began to bounce on his toes. Zane appeared at the door in a royal blue, zip up sweater and black leather gloves. He knocked on the window once, leaving a smudge with his knuckles and grinned at Riley. Even through the clouded window Riley could see the brilliance of Zane's white smile. A-wall didn't comment until Zane was standing outside of the door tapping his foot and looking off into the distance.

"_That's_ your boyfriend?" Riley nodded and began to walk to the door. A-wall raised both of his eyebrows and shook his head, "Not what I expected…but still _way_ out of your league bro." Riley seemed amused and raised an eyebrow at A-wall.

"Remember that whole questioning your sexuality thing?" he asked teasingly as he reached the door "Forget the questioning it's been confirmed." A-wall laughed and mumbled "whatever man" under his breath and walked up behind Riley.

"Hey, I'm the service here. So _I _get the door." Riley laughed at A-wall and retreated as ordered. Riley knew that him and A-wall would be good friends. He had the ability of making all of his nervousness go away. "Now go look pretty. I got this." A-wall walked eagerly to the doorway and opened it so that Zane couldn't see inside. "Why hello there." He said slowly as he looked down at Zane.

"Hello," Zane said with a slightly confused, awkward laugh.

"I'm your host, Albertson, what can I do for you this evening?" A-wall gave Zane a once over and than smirked "Or preferably to you…" he mumbled.

"What?"

"Huh? Anyway, may I take your coat?" Zane looked down at his sweater and gave Albertson a friendly smile.

"I'm not wearing a coat."

"The less clothing the better-"

"Okay!" Riley cut in as he pulled A-wall from the doorway by the back of his shirt.

"Hey! I was just being friendly." Riley pushed him to the counter and shook his head apologetically at Zane, who was blushing uncontrollably.

"Sorry about that." He said with a sigh as Zane finally laughed. "He's just trying to get under my skin. He knows I get jealous easily." Not that Riley ever told him that, but it was apparent that A-wall had extracted that information from a conversation or two. Zane simply nodded and shivered from the cold, wondering when Riley was going to catch the hint.

"You gonna invite me in?"

"Oh, right sorry." Riley opened the door and let Zane step in before him. Zane didn't seem to notice anything at first, but his eyes widened as he gave the Dot a once over. His mouth dropped and than spread into a slow smile. Riley began to get nervous at Zane's silence and started to ramble. "I-I was gonna make you close your eyes but…" Zane ignored Riley's babbling and stepped further into the Dot, leaving Riley at the door. "It probably doesn't make any sense when you just-"

"You did all this?" Zane asked over his shoulder as he looked at every corner of the Dot. There was fake snow everywhere, comfy chairs and a lit fireplace. In front of the fireplace was a bearskin blanket and a spread of marshmallows, graham crackers and chocolate. Zane could hear the sound of old Christmas carols trailing softly from the speaker. Besides the obvious ski lodge qualities there were posters of hot guys skiing, hot guys snowboarding, hot guys in rainbow sweaters…"Wow," Zane said as he looked at the winter pride posters that studded the walls "you went all out."

"Like I said, it's gonna take some explaining, sorry if I-"

"Dude, shut the _fuck_ up he likes it. Jeez." A-wall huffed impatiently as he filled a couple of mugs with hot chocolate. "How many marshmallows?" Riley shook his head and turned his attention back to Zane who was biting his lip and looking at Riley.

"You look nice." He said softly as he walked toward him. Riley blushed and scratched behind his neck. His sheepish look made Zane smile as he tried to catch Riley's eye again. "I like seeing your pretty blue eyes for a change."

Following that compliment came a bang on the table. A-wall, who had gotten overly excited at the success of his fashion advice, had his arms up as if he were cheering at a football game. Riley rolled his eyes for what felt like the thirtieth time that day and mouthed "thank you" to keep him satisfied.

Riley grabbed Zane by his gloved hand and led him over to his spot at the table. Riley reluctantly sat in front of him. He desperately wanted to sit next to Zane and cuddle him with all his might, but he didn't want to miss his facial expression when he asked him the big question. Riley glanced back at A-wall and nodded to the side, asking for privacy.

"Keep your jeans on, I know you want me to go. I can practically smell your sex juices flowing." Zane raised an eyebrow at Riley who nodded admittedly and than turned back toward A-wall. "But first, some ground rules. The All-Mighty Peter says: 'no banging in the restaurant.' I say what Peter doesn't know won't hurt him. He also says 'don't trash anything, don't set anything on fire'-"

"Dude, we're not a bunch of wild apes." Riley urged as he cut his eyes toward the door. A-wall shrugged and went to grab his coat before backing toward the door.

"Eh, don't kill the messenger alright?" Riley shook his head and chuckled as A-wall walked back toward Riley and rested his hand on his shoulder, "Relax," he whispered, "trust me." Riley nodded and half-smiled at A-wall as he walked passed Zane. "And I'll be seeing _you_ around." He said suavely with an unnatural, overtly flirtatcious wink. Riley clenched his fist but quickly relaxed. He knew A-wall was only doing that to get him angry and A-wall's hearty laughter that rang through the restaurant as he walked out the door proved it to be so.

Zane raised his eyebrows and seemed to be amused. He reached across the table to grab the thermos of hot chocolate and began pouring it into a rainbow mug.

"Nervous?" he asked with a faint smile as Riley twiddled his fingers and glanced around.

"No I'm just…" Riley paused for a moment, trying to find a word for 'so freaking anxious I could shit my pants right now'. "_Excited_." Zane raised his eyebrows again and looked up from his pouring to glance at Riley.

"Uh huh…" he said suspiciously "about what?"

"Your gift."

"That great huh?" Riley shrugged and smiled so largely that his eyes began to squint. Zane smirked at how adorable Riley looked when he was overly excited and waited for him to answer.

"Nah, it's nothing really." Zane nodded and turned the ring that Riley had given him on his finger. Every since he and Riley came back from taking their "break" he never took it off. "Well okay, one of them is kind of a big deal."

"One of them? There's two?"

"Well not really…" Zane furrowed his brow and Riley decided to stop beating around the bush. "Okay I'll just tell you now…I actually came out to my mom." Zane's face slowly went from confused, to a mix of joy and concern.

"Holy cow. Did she freak?"

"Well, yeah a little. But I think she'll be okay." Riley said, thinking retrospectively to how he could still catch a glimpse of sympathy in his mother's eyes before he left the house. Zane finally let himself smile and he nodded his head so enthusiastically that he began to bounce up and down.

"Yeah?" He asked, waiting for reassurance with a huge grin. Riley nodded and tried to hold back his excitement "I can't believe you did that man." Zane reached across the table to grab the back of Riley's neck and leave a long peck on his lips. Riley hovered there for a moment and than sat back slowly, still enjoying the warmth that Zane's lips left on his.

Riley's eyes fluttered over his boyfriend as he watched him smile and happily chew a piece of bread in between his teeth.

Riley knew for sure that he was madly in love with Zane. Even when Zane did normal things like laughing, folding his laundry, or even raising his hand in math class, Riley was mesmerized. He was so incredibly beautiful to him.

"What's up?" Zane asked as he continued to smile and chew. Riley realized that he had been staring and faintly smiled.

"Nothing." He said sheepishly. "I just…I love you." Zane wasn't sure if it was the way Riley always said it as if he were saying it the first time or if it was how sincere and nervous he appeared, but something about the delivery made him want to lunge across the table and tackle him to the ground. However, Zane refrained from doing so and instead simply answered him back with:

"I love you too." The boys sat in silence for a moment, teasing each other with their eyes before Riley finally reached for the envelope in his pocket.

"Okay so let me explain…" he began as he took a breath "remember when we played never have I ever?"

"Of course." Zane said with a wink as he sipped his hot chocolate. Riley blushed and looked down at his lap. He had a speech all planned out, but he had completely forgotten it so he cut right to the chase.

"Do you wanna go away with me?" Zane raised an eyebrow and swallowed his food eagerly as he reached for a marshmallow.

"Sure, like a day trip?" Riley opened his mouth but stopped when he could feel himself beginning to stutter. He wrung his hands and looked at Zane nervously.

"No I mean, like a night trip…and then another night after that. And maybe five more?" Riley could see Zane pause for a moment and then reach for another marshmallow. Usually when Zane ate excessively it was because he was either excited or avoiding a question. Riley sat patiently and tapped his foot. "I wanna see what'd be like…you know, if we really lived together."

**Yeah so I totally fell asleep, woke up and was like shit shit shit I said I would post rawrrrr**

**So I'm sorry. I got my wisdom teeth out recently and that pain medication is strong as a mother…**


	41. Christmas Gift part 2

Zane paused and a nervous smile, the one that Riley found absolutely adorable but also dreaded at this moment, was plastered across his face. In all honesty, Zane loved Riley a lot more than he'd admit. But, it still scared him sometimes when he thought about how fast they were moving. It's not like he had never thought about the future he and Riley could have together, but he felt as if Riley thought about it more.

The silence made Riley increasingly nervous and he opened the envelope. "Before you answer let me just tell you." Zane smiled slowly, this time an approving grin, as if it were obvious and nodded.

"Skiing right?" he said with a nod toward the decorations. "I remember…I said I'd never been skiing. I can't believe you remembered." Riley relaxed as the normal, toothy grin returned to Zane's face.

"Yeah I guess that was pretty obvious. But um… it's more about the where and when…" Zane looked at Riley out of puzzlement and tilted his head.

"I'm really bad at guessing." Riley sighed and gave into handing Zane the envelope himself. He felt stupid considering how he had everything all planned out and he didn't execute it correctly. Zane made him incredibly nervous.

"Here, this will explain it better than I can anyways." Zane opened the tucked envelope and pulled out a colorful brochure. He locked eyes with Riley and then gave the brochure a once over.

"No way." He said as he glanced up at Riley again, completely blown away. "Winter Pride Week at Whistler? Dude that's like, impossible… Are we even old enough to go?" Riley shrugged and shook his head.

"Like it would matter anyways. I thought it would be fun, you know? To be around a bunch of people like us for a change. No homophobes in site." Riley had proven at this point that he wasn't ashamed of his own sexuality, but he never addressed the rest of the LGBT community. The only people he knew that fell under that category were Zane, Adam and himself. Plus, this would make up for all the times that Zane suggested they go to the "gayborhood" and Riley nervously declined.

Zane looked at the Dot once more, back at the brochure and then at Riley, who seemed ready to fall off the edge of his seat. He just wanted an answer.

"Dude, how did you even…I mean It's supposed to be, like the wildest thing ever. Drag queens, dance parties till 5am, hot guys everywhere-"

"Let's just hope there aren't too many hot guys." Riley said slowly with a teasingly jealous tone. Zane's smile dropped as he looked down at the plane tickets.

"How did you afford all this?" Riley shrugged and shook his head. He didn't want to revisit that. He would stop any thought that would cause him to doubt his decision. Zane shook his head, sensing Riley's discomfort, and smiled widely before standing up and walking toward Riley's side of the table.

"So…" Riley said, still awaiting an answer. "What do you say?" Zane held out his hand and Riley eagerly grabbed it. He pulled Riley to a standing position and held him close to him. Riley searched Zane's face for any sign of doubt but only saw excitement in his eyes.

"Hell yeah. Let's do it." Riley paused for a moment, trying to process Zane's answer then grinned.

"Really?" Zane leaned in to kiss Riley for a few moments and couldn't help but smile while doing it. He pulled away to continue talking.

"This is like the best gift ever. What were you so nervous about" Riley shrugged and looked at his feet. He felt dumb for worrying so much, but him and Zane never spent more than a night together. To him, it was a huge thing to propose.

Riley then found himself trying not to think about the numerous times Zane had gone to Brazil with Mat when they were together. He knew that Zane had spent weeks, maybe even a month, with him in Brazil. Obviously Zane had been through this before.

"It's kind of a big deal to me." Riley said attempting to seem indifferent. Zane gave him a reassuring smile and stood in front of Riley with his hand on his shoulder. "And I still haven't met your dad." Zane's smile drooped and his hand fell from Riley's side. Zane's dad was rarely home. and when he was, all Zane wanted was to see him happy. If he met Riley, it could go badly for both of them. "Plus, _my_ parents…not so big on the gay thing."

Riley began to realize that he hadn't thought this through. He planned on coming out to his parents soon, but he didn't think about how there wouldn't be enough time for his parents to get used to the idea before he and Zane would be leaving for their trip.

"Riley," Zane began as he wrapped his arms around Riley's waist and tried to look him in the eye "it'll be okay. I promise." Riley gazed into Zane's light brown eyes and tried to smile. "You've gotta stop doubting yourself." Zane said softly as he rested his forehead against Riley's. "You're sexier when you're confident." Riley began to laugh and paused to look down at Zane's lips. They locked eyes sensually before leaning into a soft kiss.

For whatever reason, possibly the holiday cheer, they were oddly romantic that day. Instead of their usual hot and hasty actions they were taking everything in, moving slowly so that they could admire each other and carefully caress every inch of their bodies.

Riley exhaled when Zane moved his hips closer so that their bodies were completely against each others. Riley let one of his hands drop to Zane's lower back while the other caressed his cheek as he slowly kissed his lips, parting them every once and a while to feel his tounge. Riley pulled away for a second so that he could whisper in Zane's ear.

"You feel so good." Riley whispered as he leaned in to kiss Zane's neck.

"Yeah?" Zane whimpered in reply as Riley began to walk them toward the front of the Dot. Riley backed Zane onto one of the couches as they each grabbed at each other's waists. Zane let his knees give out and he tumbled backward, but still gracefully, onto the couch. Riley hastily positioned himself on top of Zane and left light kisses on his lips as he ran his hand down Zane's chest.

Riley grunted teasingly as he reached the button on Zane's jeans. Zane smiled in response and brought Riley's lips back to his. Riley opened his eyes momentarily and caught a glimpse of a manger scene out of the corner of his eyes. He made odd eye contact with the Jesus figurine and widened his glare. "Mph wait stop." Riley pulled away from Zane, who's eyes remained closed, and glanced around the Dot. Riley placed his hand on Zane's chest so that he wouldn't lean up to kiss him and continued to look around. "This is weird." Zane looked shocked and glanced from side to side and then tried to lock eyes with Riley, who was still checking around.

"That was the last adjective on my mind." Zane said, slightly disappointed in Riley's sudden loss of interest. Riley shook his head remorsefully and sat upright, still straddling Zane's waist.

"You don't feel… bad about this?" Zane smirked up at Riley and let himself relax against the couch cushions.

"Don't tell me you've adopted a new rule of chastity-"

"No, dude…but, don't you think Jesus would be a little…upset?" Zane scrunched up his brow and looked amused, but in his mind he was wondering if Riley were really as guilt conscious as he let on.

"I have _no_ idea what you're talking about."

"Well…it i_s_ his birthday." Zane stayed back on the couch and tried to keep from laughing. He ran his fingers through his messed up hair and shook his head.

"So is this a new rule? No sex on Chris-"

"Shh…" Riley interrupted with his index finger over Zane's lips "don't even mention it." Zane opened his mouth to speak and than closed it. Realizing there was nothing he could do to convince Riley otherwise.

"Well, could you at least stop straddling me?" Riley glanced down at Zane who was plastered against the couch cushions and slowly stood up.

"Sorry." He said with a shake of his head as he wandered back to the table. Zane smiled uneasily and followed Riley back to the middle of the Dot.

"That's okay," he said warmly "it's not the first time I've been turned down." Riley laughed.

"That's hard to believe." The two stood there awkwardly and pretended to be distracted by the various decorations before Zane finally broke the silence.

"Oh, your gift." Zane jogged toward the door and turned around when he reached for the knob. "I'll be right back." Riley smiled and then wearily sat down on one of the chairs. He leaned his elbows against the table and cradled his face in his hands. Even though Zane had agreed to go he still felt like an idiot for not considering the cons. He also couldn't get off his mind that Zane never addressed the whole "living together thing." Sure it wasn't a proposal, but Riley expected him to say at least one comment.

Riley began to wander around when Zane had been gone for a while. He looked at how clean A-wall had made the kitchen and at the beautiful spread by the fireplace. He walked toward the fireplace and a bright red envelope caught his eye from under a tray. He carefully removed the envelope and tore it open when he saw it was addressed to him. Riley saw money in the envelope, but read the note that was intended to be read before it.

**Hey Skip! **

** Thought you might need a little help with some expenses. I hope this guy knows how lucky he is that you'd do this for him. But, I also hope you know how stupid you are for throwing all your money away like that. When you get into the NFL (not the CFL because Canada sucks and doesn't pay them jack shit) **_**then **_**you can be a sugar daddy. Pace yourself. Your time will come. Anyway, this isn't much, but enough for lift tickets and getting into a few parties and…oh I don't know **_**eating**_** maybe. It's okay, we've all made rash decisions without thinking before. I won't judge you, you're in loooooove so you'll do silly things. Anyway I'm just ranting now. I've gotta say, I'm kinda jealous that you didn't invite me. It's okay, there's always next year. **

** Spend this money wisely Skip. My dead brother would not be pleased to know that his retirement money was spent on male hustlers and candy. Just sayin'. DON'T BE FUCKING STUPID.**

** Love always,**

** A-Wall **

Riley laughed hardily at the note and shook his head before folding it neatly and putting it in his pocket. He then took a deep breath and removed the money from the envelope. The stack was thick, and it was all hundreds. Riley was going to count but then he saw a credit card behind all of the bills. Attached was yet another note that read:

**I got lazy okay. I would've been standing at that ATM forever. I trust you won't jack me bro.**

Riley felt light headed as he stared at all of the money in his hands. He had never had the option of buying whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. He began to feel queezy and sat down. Moments later, Zane returned with a gift box and placed it on the table. He hadn't seen Riley on the couch and did a double take toward the fireplace when he finally spotted him.

"Riley," he said with concern as he began to walk over "you okay?" Riley shook his head and stuffed the envelope in his pocket as best he could before hopping up from his sitting position.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." Zane could tell that Riley was hiding something but didn't bother to ask him what. He knew that he would tell him eventually. They never kept any secrets from each other for the most part. Zane turned around and lifted the gift box from the table.

"Merry Christmas," he said with one of his big mega watt smiles. Riley stared dreamily at Zane's smile for a moment before turning his attention to the gift box. He opened it and pulled out a football jacket for the Calgery Stampeders: his favorite CFL team. Riley laughed at the irony of it all and thought about A-Wall's note. Zane looked offended and squinted his eyes. "You don't like it?"

"No! No I love it. It's just…" Riley looked as if he were going to explain but stopped short. He turned the jacket around and saw that it was signed by the Stampeders' quaterback and MVP Henry Burris. "No way! Henry Burris?" Riley handled the jacket more carefully now and set it back into the box. "Zane this is amazing." Riley gave Zane a kiss on the cheek that caused him to stumble backwards. Zane smiled and stuck his hands in his pocket, seemingly satisfied with himself. Riley sat the box back onto another table, away from the food and decoration clutter and returned to Zane's side as quickly as he could.

"Glad you like it." Zane said happily as he looked into Riley's dancing eyes. Riley smiled and nodded to the slow Christmas song that was floating softly through the speakers. He glanced at Zane who was doing the same and held out his hand.

"May I have this dance?" He said with an awful British accent. Zane looked down at Riley's hand than back into his eyes and laughed.

"You serious?" Riley laughed in return and blushed.

"I mean, we never really got a chance at the dance, so why not?" Zane took Riley's hand and smirked as he followed him to the middle of the Dot. Riley spun around and placed his hand in the middle of Zane's back. The two fumbled for a moment, they had never danced together before and the reflex for each of them was to be the lead. Zane reluctantly placed his hand on Riley's arm and let himself be led. Riley placed Zane's hand in his and grinned cheesily as they began to move to the music.

"You don't want me to take you seriously, do you?" Zane laughed as Riley spun him around in an attempt to seem better at dancing than he actually was. Riley only raised an eyebrow in response and paused for a moment, preparing to dip Zane backwards.

"You ready?"

"Oh boy." Riley dipped Zane successfully and then spun him around before bringing him back towards him. Zane laughed at how odd it felt to be the female part and shook his head.

"You're good at this." Riley said, sincerely impressed.

"Seems those dance classes paid off for once." Riley smiled and brought Zane even closer to him as they continued to dance to a slower track. Zane smiled and released his hand from Riley's so that he could rest it on Riley's lower arm. "You're not too bad yourself." He said softly as he rested his forehead against his boyfriend's. Riley noticed how warm it was with Zane's body against his own. How they were exactly the same height and their bodies matched eachother's perfectly. He also inhaled Zane's scent and caressed the musculature of his back. Riley's thoughts began to drift before Zane broke the silence. "Wow," Zane said as he glanced down at Riley's jeans "didn't know my dancing was that good."

Riley looked down at the bulge in his pants and turned a bright shade of red. This wasn't the first time he had let his day dreaming get the best of him. He looked remorsefully at Zane, back down at his crotch and then at the couch, wishing that he hadn't had that religious revelation earlier. Zane seemed to read Riley's thoughts and caught his eye.

"You know," he said seductively as he stopped dancing "biblical and historical research shows that Jesus was most likely born in September." Riley laughed at Zane's seemingly never ending knowledge of everything irrelevant and hugged him tightly.

"Good enough for me." Riley kissed Zane slowly and Zane kissed him in return. The two spent the rest of the day in each other's arms and knew that there was no greater gift than spending Christmas with the one you love.

DON'T YOU FREAKING WISH IT WERE THE HOLIDAYS?

It's not over yet people but unfortunately it will be soonish?

Best believe we're following them to winter pride week. When I heard about that I was like hell yeah they're going to that.

Also Adam and Fiona won't be left in the dark don't worry.

Degrassi needs to get on the Fadam and Ziley before I LOSE INTEREST.

Eclare and Dolly J will not hold me over forever!


	42. Whistler

**Sorry guys I, suck.**

**Schoolwork is kicking my ASS. No joke.**

**Thanks for sticking with, and just remember that I'm NEVER abandoning this thing. So don't stop checking back for more **

Riley threw his duffle bag on the large king sized bed at the lodge suite and dove onto it, shoes and all. Zane was busy staring out of the window at the mountain range across from them. The room was amazing. They had their own fireplace, flat screen tv, and huge goose-feather pillows. It was giving Zane's apartment a run for its money.

Riley watched with admiration as Zane walked around the room smiling cheerfully. "This is ridiculous." He beamed as he looked out of the large windows once more. "What do we do first?" Zane let his arm drop to his side as he shook his head in disbelief "I can't even wrap my mind around all of this." Riley eagerly hopped off the bed and stood by Zane's side. He wrapped his arms around Zane from behind and rested his chin on his shoulder.

"We can start by ordering some room service. My stomach is beginning to digest itself." Zane shook his head and turned around to face riley.

"Why don't we go out to eat? My treat." Riley smiled and shook his head. He took a wad of money from his pocket and rose an eyebrow out of pride.

"Nope, it's mine." Zane looked at Riley, first impressed and then concerned. He took the money from Riley's hand and refrained from asking where he got it from. He shoved the money back into Riley's hands and begun to walk away.

"Riley, you don't have to-" Riley grabbed Zane by the hand and looked at him with sad eyes. He hated that Zane always felt as if he had to pay for everything all of the time.

"Zane, please. I finally have enough money to do something for you, just…let me show you a good time." Zane looked down at his feet remorsefully and tried to avoid looking into Riley's eyes. "Please?" Zane couldn't resist locking eyes with Riley, causing him to give in. He half-smiled in agreement and Riley's face lit up. "After you." Riley said gracefully as he held the door open for Zane.

The boys went down to the lobby where they found themselves in the middle of a huge crowd. Zane smiled briefly and looked over at Riley who seemed awestruck. There were gay men, and some women, of all ages, sizes, and nationalities. Most of them seemed to be between 21 and 35, but there was a handful of others who seemed quite older than that and very few that were younger. Riley moved his eyes over the crowd, observing the couples holding hands and cuddling, and the overwhelming amount of singles moving around and mingling with the crowd. Riley gulped and grabbed the side of Zane's jacket, causing Zane to turn his attention back to his boyfriend. He noticed Riley's anxiety and intertwined his fingers with his.

"Come on." Zane said eagerly as he began to pull a reluctant Riley into the crowd. Riley took one look at the group and imagined the crowd swallowing him whole. He shook his head and tore his hand from Zane's.

"Nah," he said, trying to seem nonchalant. "You go ahead, I'll go ask the receptionist about where we can get something to eat." Zane smiled and shrugged.

"Suit yourself." Zane dove directly into the crowd and was immediately intercepted by a girl with bright purple hair. She began to rave over his jacket and asked him where she could get one just like it.

Riley was nervous for numerous reasons. Number one: the only time he had been around more than one or two gay people at once was during the LGBT meetings, where there was a maximum of ten people who were actually part of the LGBT community. Number two: he didn't give off the friendly vibe that Zane seemed to possess. Zane could walk into a room and make five friends in a minute. Riley on the other hand, didn't believe himself to be half as alluring.

He wandered around the crowd while keeping a careful eye on Zane. When he could see that he was still getting flocked by lesbians he made his way to the front desk. The computer was being manned by an effeminate blonde who donned two diamond earrings and enough eyeliner to put MAC out of business. He seemed busy with his computer but did a double take when he looked up and saw Riley standing in front of him.

"Hi," Riley began, careful not to stutter "I was wondering if you knew of any good places to eat around here." The receptionist continued to eyeball Riley as he began to scroll through a list on his computer. Riley didn't seem to notice the flirtation and continued to glance around nervously.

"Sure thing." The blonde said sweetly as he glanced at Riley's pretty blue eyes. "Okay, on a scale of Lil Wayne to Adam Lambert, how gay friendly do you desire your destination to be?" Riley's eyes widened as he began to laugh nervously.

"Um…?" Riley looked at the receptionist skeptically and shrugged apologetically. The receptionist rolled his eyes and then looked at Riley with sympathy.

"Honey, are you out?"

"Y-yeah mostly."

"You have a boyfriend?" Riley nodded and didn't seem to notice when the receptionist's face fell. "The guy you came in with?" Riley nodded again and glanced back toward the crowd, trying to find Zane.

"Yeah-well, he's in there somewhere."

"Okay well I have a few suggestions. Any preferences?" Riley shrugged awkwardly and sighed at his own incompetence. The blonde impatiently shoved a slip of paper into Riley's hand. "Here, these places are pretty popular, food's alright." He leaned to his right to glance behind Riley and raised his eyebrows. "And, you _might_ wanna check on your boyfriend." Riley looked at him out of confusion and then glanced over his shoulder. His eyes wandered a moment before they finally rested on Zane who was being shamelessly hit on by a guy in a red ski hat. Riley watched him reach up to brush a few fallen pieces of hair from Zane's face causing him to inch away. Riley stormed over and threw his arm around Zane's shoulder as soon as he reached his side.

"Excuse me." He said to the flirter as he pulled Zane away. The guy stood there, pissed but didn't respond. He retreated back into the crowd and didn't look back. "Remind me, to never leave you alone out here." Zane grabbed the hand that was around his shoulder and leaned over to kiss Riley on the cheek.

"You've got nothing to worry about."

"Yeah, except for guys like that." Riley said with a huff as he continued to walk briskly out of the lodge. Zane could sense Riley's anger and began to slow him down.

"Riley, if this is too much for you, we can go back." Riley exhaled and shook his head.

"No. Angry, jealous Riley has been buried. I'm a new man." Zane nodded at Riley who seemed sure of him self and wrapped his free arm around his waist.

"It's hard to believe how far you've come from just a few months ago. I'm proud of you." Riley nodded but couldn't help his mind from wandering. He couldn't even muster up enough courage to talk to the LGBT community and he was two seconds off of punching a guy in the face. All of this, and he had only been there for fifteen minutes. To him, that didn't seem like progress at all.


	43. The Imperfections

"Here, try this." Zane held his fork near Riley's face and taunted him with it, trying to get him to take a bite. Riley took the fork in his mouth and chewed curiously. His expression went from skeptical to satisfied.

"That's pretty good." Zane smirked and continued to eat from his plate. "What is it?" Zane didn't answer and asked the waiter for a couple of glasses of water. Riley saw that Zane was turning red, trying not to laugh and Riley began to get nervous. "Zane, what did I just eat?"

"Calm down it's nothing out of the ordinary." Riley nodded and let out a sigh of relief "it's just alligator." Riley's eyes widened and he practically ripped the water from the waiter's hand and chugged it all at once. Zane tried to keep himself from laughing as he continued to eat.

"How do you eat that stuff?"

"The same way you were eating it just a second ago." Riley looked irritated and gnawed on a french fry. "Come on, you're not pissed are you?" Riley pretended to be offended and shrugged weakly.

"Nope." Zane laughed at Riley's goofiness put his fork down.

"Forgive me?" Riley shook his head and leaned back from the table.

"I don't think I can." Riley always played this game. He'd pretend to be mad at Zane so that he could get as much "attention" out of him as possible. Zane glanced around before leaning across the table waiting for an expectant Riley to meet him halfway. He pulled Riley closer and gave him a peck on the lips.

"Forgive me now?"

"Not good enough." Zane rolled his eyes playfully and kissed Riley more passionately this time. Zane looked at him to confirm that they were on good terms. Riley nodded, seemingly satisfied but leaned in to kiss Zane again anyway. Riley pulled away and smiled as he leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head. "I could get used to this." He said as he stared at Zane. Zane let out a small laugh and nodded.

"To you guilt tripping me into giving you sexual favors?"

"No." Riley said as if it were completely ridiculous. He laughed and Zane laughed in return "Just, us being together… For a really long time." Riley looked at Zane expectantly and tried not to seem to anxious. Zane smirked and rubbed his foot against Riley's leg under the table.

"Well, that's good to hear," Zane said as he let his leg rest in between Riley's "because I didn't plan on going anywhere. That is, if you'll let me stick around." Riley bit his lip, trying to keep his excitement from becoming too obvious. He sighed as he began to think about the next year.

"What about college? What if…you don't end up going to Eastern? What if we go to schools that are thousands of miles apart?" Zane looked somberly at his plate and raised his eyebrows reassuringly at Riley.

"Riley, we're together now. And we both know that we want to stay together for as long as possible. We'll deal with things as they come." Riley nodded and reached for Zane's hand. Zane rested his hand in Riley's and watched as Riley gently played with his fingers.

"I just, don't like the thought of losing you."

"Then…stop thinking about it." Riley glanced up at Zane who was looking away from him. His tone had sounded a little more impatient than he had meant and Riley began to slouch in his chair. Zane sensed that he was being too hard on Riley and began to stand up. "Come on." He said with raised eyebrows " you ready?"

"Where are we going?"

"Change of scenery." Zane said slyly as he held onto Riley's hand and pulled him up from the table. Riley quickly grabbed a wad of bills from his jean pocket and threw it on the table as Zane pulled him through the door. "You brought something white with you, right?" Riley looked at Zane confused and shook his head. They continued to walk down the street hand in hand. Zane nodded at passing couples and other people that were visiting for pride week and squeezed Riley's hand, reassuring him all the way. He pulled him into a nearby store and bells jingled as they walked through the door. Everyone glanced at them for a moment and then continued to look around. Zane pulled Riley toward the white shirts and began sifting through them.

"Why are we doing this again?"

"We have plans tonight….pick out something you like."

"You know what I like." Riley said warmly. Zane smiled at Riley and looked through the racks. Riley's mind wandered as he began to look around the store curiously. There were numerous rainbow flags near the ceiling, numerous costumes that looked as if they were straight from playgirl magazine and there was a section in the back of the store meant for people ages 18 and up. There weren't many places similar to this back home.

A shopkeeper who looked to be in his mid twenties approached Zane from the side and rested his arm on the rack of clothing. Zane glanced up and smiled.

"Good evening." Zane said innocently. The shopkeeper's glance lingered on Zane's smile before he be gan to speak.

"Well hi. Can I help you with anything?"

"I'm fine ,thanks."

"You sure? Two hands are better than one."

"Yeah…. Thank you though." Zane gave the shopkeeper a look that said "back off ass hole I'm taken" in the warmest way possible. The shopkeeper twisted his lips in understanding as Zane began to walk away. He lingered there for a moment and then pushed off the clothing rack and began to follow him.

"It's not often that someone walks in here looking like you." Zane began to walk away again, smirking and wondering how many guys actually fell for his act. "You taken?"

"Yep."

"What kind of a boyfriend would leave you alone? If I were your boyfriend, I would never let you leave my sight." Zane rolled his eyes at the shopkeeper who was glancing at him up and down.

"Well, you're not my boyfriend." Zane warned him with his eyes and continued to walk away. The shopkeeper followed. "You can follow me as long as you want, it's not gonna happen."

"Maybe I just like the view from back here."

"Or, maybe you'll like the view from the floor." The guy turned around with a smug look on his face, which quickly faded when he saw Riley towering behind him. "He's not interested. Now, get lost before you end up spending the rest of your day studying the carpet pattern, got it?" The shopkeeper scowled before walking away and going off to "aid" another customer. Riley shook his head and grabbed Zane's hand. "Let's get out of here." Riley pulled Zane through the store and let go of his hand once they were back on the stone sidewalk. He began to walk swiftly in front of Zane as he breathed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to calm himself down.

"Riley!" Zane jogged behind him, trying to catch up and put his hand on Riley's shoulder. Riley shrugged Zane's hand away and stopped.

"This is really starting to piss me off." Zane glanced around and seemed remorseful. Maybe it was a mistake for him and Riley to come here.

"I'm sorry that this is happening, Riley. But you know you can trust me." Riley sighed and looked at Zane. _What am I doing? _He thought as he looked at Zane's sad eyes.

"I know. You're right." Riley wrapped an arm around Zane's waist and shook his head, recollecting himself as they walked down the street. Even though he was pretending to be okay, neither of them were completely convinced.


	44. Lap Dog

**I AM alive. Longest time I've gone without updating…EVER**

**But guess who's done with sports?**

**Uh huh…**

**THIS GIRL**

**That means more updates more often**

**Hallelujah!**

Zane's eyes followed Riley as he walked into the suite and sat on the edge of the bed. Riley ran his hands over his face and tried to think about something other than what he felt he was lacking: intelligence, model good looks, a creative talent like guitar playing or poetry writing that he could use to win Zane back whenever he was angry at him…

"Riley, you okay?" Zane said in his sweet, low voice as he lowered himself onto the bed next to Riley. He rested a hand on Riley's shoulder and looked at him with concern in his eyes. He sighed and glanced at the floor before letting his knee rest on Riley's. He knew what Riley was thinking. After being together for so long, he felt as if he could read his mind sometimes. And he didn't always like what it said. "Riley, you're amazing." He said, sincerely. Riley shook his head and began to play with the sleeve of his jacket.

"No," he said softly as he traced the stitching with his thumbs, "no I'm not." Zane shook his head and looked at Riley, trying to catch his eye.

"Riley, I don't get it. You were so confident when we first got back together, now you're acting like…" Zane refrained from continuing and moved Riley's face toward his with his hand. "Riley, you're funny, you're athletic, _ridiculously_ hot,-"

"Now you're just lying to me."

"I'm serious…you have great people skills, you can fix anything that's broken _and…"_ Zane paused as Riley's face began to fall. He made sure that Riley was looking at him before he continued "you're the most loving person I've ever met. I wouldn't still be with you if all of that weren't true." Riley huffed and stood up from the bed.

"Zane, _you're_ amazing. I'm…I'm not." Riley shook his head, stopping himself before he went on. But he decided that it was better to just tell Zane exactly how he felt. "I feel like you have so many better options. And I'm afraid that if we go through one little rough patch you'll just…move on and find someone else."

"Riley," Zane walked up behind Riley and grabbed his hand. He pulled on Riley's arm so that he was facing him and looked him in the eyes. "I love you." He said, lowering his voice "So much that it scares me sometimes." Riley gulped and bit his lip. It was rare that Zane was this expressive, and whenever he was it caused Riley's throat to dry and his hands to shake. "I'm not going anywhere. You have to trust that. All I have is my word." Riley had to force himself not to lean in and kiss Zane. He knew that this was something he needed to take seriously and that eye contact was the best way of showing his understanding. Zane dropped Riley's hands and walked toward his packed suitcase. He pulled out a white button down shirt and handed it to Riley.

"Here, put that on."

"Clothes don't have the same affect on me as they do on you…they're not really happy making."

"No, I mean get ready to go." Zane disappeared into the bathroom and continued to speak to Riley through the door. "We need to forget about this and just have a good time. After all, that's what we're here for. " Riley rolled his eyes and felt the white shirt in his hands as he leaned on his knees and continued to think. But he immediately shook all doubtful thoughts from his mind and began to get dressed, just like he was told.

Zane had already called for a cab and was fixing his hair while Riley sat on the couch and waited for him. Riley tugged on the shirt, trying to remove the wrinkles. He adjusted a hat awkwardly on his head and stood up, beginning to become impatient. Zane emerged from the bathroom and continued to fix his hair. Riley never understood why Zane spent so much time getting ready. He could jump out of bed, roll in a mud pit, wade through a swamp and _still _be attractive. Riley noticed the tight, white muscle shirt that Zane was wearing and his eyes bugged out. Riley personally loved when Zane showed off any part of his body, but not necessarily in public.

"You uh, don't think it's a little cold for that shirt?" Zane looked down at his shirt then up at Riley. He smiled condescendingly and shook his head.

"Trust me, we'll be hot once we get there." Riley glanced dejectedly down at his feet as Zane finished putting on his jacket. He walked toward Riley, unbuttoned the first few buttons of Riley's shirt and smiled. "I like it when you show off a little chest hair." Zane ran his hands over Riley's chest and Riley felt himself shiver at Zane's touch. He blushed and quickly pulled away. Zane had the exact same affect on him that he did when they first met. Whenever Riley saw Zane or felt the warmth of his hands, he got those "first date jitters" all over again, butterflies and all.

Riley tried to hide his slight embarrassment. Zane winked at him as if he were reading his mind and grinned.

"You're so cute, you know that?" Riley smiled faintly, but he let it droop as soon as Zane turned around again.

They headed out the door and made their way down to the lobby. Riley's heart pounded. There was that crowd again. Riley glanced around and noticed that he and Zane weren't the only one's wearing all white. Before Riley had a chance to ask, he was being pulled through the lobby and toward the front door.

"Zane!" Zane paused to greet the girl from earlier who was now holding hands comfortably with another girl with blonde hair. Riley figured that this girl must have been her girlfriend and noticed that she was petite and pretty. She reminded him of some of the cheerleaders at his school and nothing like the butch lesbian stereotype that was engraved in his mind.

"Hey, I had no idea you were going tonight!" The girl was hanging on Zane's shoulder like he was her best girlfriend and had the utmost excitement in her eyes. Zane raised his eyebrow and smiled.

"Yeah, we didn't know either," Zane said while he gave Riley's hand a squeeze "It was a last minute decision." The girl looked at Zane with slight confusion when he said "we", then she looked over at Riley, as if she just noticed he was there.

"Oh! I'm sorry. How rude of me. I'm Cat and this is my girlfriend Savannah. Jeez, I totally wasn't paying attention." Cat seemed extremely apologetic, but more toward Zane than Riley. Zane nudged Riley's shoulder and Riley smiled and stuck out his hand.

"I'm Riley." Cat took Riley's hand and gave it a hearty handshake. Riley almost winced at her unexpected strength. "Jeez…that's a really strong handshake you have." Riley mumbled to himself as he shook out his hand. Cat pretended not to hear him and turned to Zane.

"You guys should take the cab with us! Our treat." Zane glanced toward Riley for a moment, but not long enough for him to catch whether or not he agreed.

"Sounds good." Zane and Cat began to walk out the door while Riley and Savannah stood there for a moment. Riley chewed on his lips awkwardly while Savannah tapped her foot.

"Awesome," she said in a small but sarcastic voice "sounds great." Riley snickered and uncrossed his arms. He turned one shoulder towards Savannah as he continued to look out the window. "Sucks wearing the dress, eh?" Savannah asked jokingly.

"Excuse me?"

"You know what I mean." Riley paused for a moment and tried not to look confused. He didn't know what she meant. This was always a problem for him. It was like his brain couldn't keep up with most people's jokes. He silently worked it out in his head as Savannah continued. "What Cat says, goes. No 'ifs', 'ands' or 'buts' …It's like I'm her pet and she has me on a really tight leash."

Riley looked over at Savannah and smiled faintly. Then it hit him:_ Oh. 'Wearing the dress'. So, if I'm wearing the dress, then Zane's wearing the pants…Got it. Wait, hey_! At that moment he realized that his relationship with Zane was kind of the same way. It was rare that Riley would object to anything Zane said. But he knew he was obedient out of love.

"Yeah," Riley said shyly as he shuffled his feet, "he definitely controls my every move"

"Yeah, but I wouldn't have it any other way." Savannah looked longingly at Cat as she laughed at a joke Zane had just made. Riley tilted his head out of curiosity at Savannah as she stared at Cat through the window. Her green eyes were practically sparkling.

"Guys, come on the cab's here!" Savannah smiled at Cat as she waved them over like a couple of jet planes. Savannah sighed and linked her arm in Riley's. She used him for support as she tightened the strap on one of her heels and straightened out her white mini dress.

"Let's go," she said softly as she began to guide Riley toward the door "we've been summoned."


	45. Balance

Riley and Savannah spent the cab ride in the back rolling their eyes at each other as Zane and Cat spoke openly, and loudly, about their biggest pet peeves, goals for the future, previous summer reading assignments and so on. Savannah had her head resting on Riley's shoulder, and after the conversation seemed to go absolutely nowhere, Riley nuzzled his nose in her hair and began to drift. At one point Savannah nudged Riley softly in the side and he began to listen.

"Are they asleep?" Cat asked as she turned around in the front seat of the cab to get a look. Zane nudged Riley's knee with his and looked to see if his eyes fluttered.

"Yeah, seems so."

"Did they become best friends all of the sudden and _not_ tell us?"

"They're just bonding I guess, like we are." Cat rolled her eyes and turned back around in the chair. She sat back and crossed her arms.

"I know it's just…random." The cab driver cut her a look as she rested her feet on the dashboard, but she didn't catch the hint. Zane smirked and shook his head. He looked over at Riley's angelic face and smiled to himself. Zane always thought that Riley was most beautiful when he was sleeping. "Your gonna wake him up if you keep staring so hard." Zane blushed and pulled his eyes away from Riley for a moment to glance at Cat. He shrugged and moved a stray curl back into place on Riley's head.

"He's a heavy sleeper." Zane continued to fix Riley's hair and even left a soft kiss on his forehead without Riley waking up. He saw a faint smile lurking at Riley's lips and smirked.

"You think _he's_ a heavy sleeper?" Cat began as she sat completely backwards in the chair with her arms around the headrest. "After Sav and I do it she sleeps like she's in a coma. I swear she-" The cab driver yelled at her to sit down correctly and she rolled her eyes and followed his order. "Anyway, she slept through an earthquake one night…no joke." Riley could feel Savannah shift but kept his eyes closed as Zane began to speak.

"It's impossible getting him up in the morning. Practically throws a tantrum." Zane paused and glanced at Riley's boyish features. One of the best things about their relationship was that they balanced each other. Riley taught Zane to mellow out and enjoy things without constantly thinking about consequences and Zane taught Riley to walk away from angering situations and to "grow up" a little. It was what they both needed.

"You make him sound like an eight year old."

"He is like a little kid sometimes. But he helped me realize that life didn't have to be so serious "

"Well that's…sweet." Cat almost seemed surprised and raised an eyebrow. Riley tried to keep from grinning by biting his lip. But there was no way he could keep himself from blushing. He nuzzled his face into Savannah's hair more as a way to hide his smile. Zane saw it and glanced over at Cat, who also saw that Riley was awake.

The cab arrived at the venue and stopped. Zane smiled at Cat and she began talking with a sly smile on her face.

"So, if he's such a heavy sleeper, how do you usually wake him up?"

"A hard shove will usually do, but sometimes I backhand him." Riley twitched and scrunched his brow.

"Hm, but it looks like he's uh….pretty knocked out this time." Cat leaned over the seat and asked loudly: "How about a blow to the balls?"

"Huh, Good idea." Immediately, Riley "woke up" and shoved Savannah out of the cab. Cat and Zane exchanged amused glances and got up from their seats as well.

"Well," Cat began as she threw her hair over her shoulder, "Sav and I are gonna head to the ATM down the street, we'll meet you guys in there." Riley and Zane nodded before turning toward the entrance.

Riley looked at the line of people, mostly males, all in white. Most of them were in more extravagant outfits than Riley and Zane were wearing. Half of them were extremely effeminate and flamboyant while the rest appeared to be more masculine than Riley and Zane put together. Riley cleared his throat and turned to Zane who gripped his hand and pulled him to the end up the line.

While they waited, Riley began to tap his foot to interrupt the awkward silence between them. He began thinking about the conversation Zane and Cat were having in the car and his curiosity got the best of them.

"Do you think I'm immature?" he asked as he tugged on his sleeve.

"Well that came completely from left field."

"I'm just curious." Zane shrugged and smirked.

"So, you were listening."

"No!"

Zane shook his head and turned down the corners of his mouth as to seem nonchalant. "You're not…_that_ immature." Riley let his mouth drop and pretended to be offended. He squinted his eyes in an intimidating glare and let his mouth spread into an open smile.

"Alright, I'll show you immature." Riley raised a threatening eyebrow and began to move toward Zane. Zane put a hand up attempting to stop Riley before he even considered touching him.

"Riley…" He warned with both hands up "Riley, don't-" Zane was interrupted by his own laughter when Riley tickled his sides and until there were tears in his eyes. He grabbed Riley's arms and they began to struggle against each other, each trying to get the upper hand. Between laughs, Zane continued to tell Riley to back off. "You're insane!" he squealed as he giggled and screamed like a little kid. "Okay, okay get off, cut it out." Riley finally stopped and leaned against the wall of the building for support.

"That's not what you said last night." He responded with an awkward eyebrow raise. Zane shook his head at Riley's comment and laughed.

"Is that something a _mature_ adult would say?"

"Alright, that's it." Riley threw Zane's arms over his shoulders and bent down to lift his legs from the ground. Next thing Zane knew he was hanging over Riley's back with his legs and arms dangling by Riley's side.

"Whoa!" Zane managed to scream as the blood began immediately rushing to his head.

"Learned your lesson yet?"

"Yes!"

"Sorry, can't hear you."

"Yes! Yes, I'm sorry!" Zane laughed and shoved Riley in the shoulder when he was finally returned to the ground. They began to tease each other even more before they were interrupted.

"Excuse me." A strong voice said from in front of them "I.D. please" They each showed identification and waited for the admission charge.

"Eighty each." Zane shook his head and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"That's ridiculous."

"This is an exclusive event associated with Whistler resort, this ain't no snowflake ball kid." Riley smirked and shook his head at the bouncer before handing him 160 dollars.

"Here." He said as he slapped the money into the bouncer's hands, who would be surprised that they could afford to buy a pack of gum, let alone eighty dollar admission. Riley dug into his pocket and pulled out another fifty bucks and tucked it into the bouncer's suit pocket "For your troubles."

Zane snickered as Riley pulled him into the front of the club but stopped Riley before he could go any further.

"Hold on." Riley stopped and turned toward Zane. Zane almost didn't want to ruin how well the night was going, but he knew if he didn't bring it up now he would have to do it later.

Riley's eyes danced and he began to bob up and down to the techno music that was coming from the dance hall about ten feet from them. Zane tried to avoid Riley's gorgeous eyes and puppy dog expression and continued.

"I was honest with you, and now it's your turn to be honest with me." Riley nodded and continued to grin. He was either completely oblivious or pretending to be. Zane shook his head and tried to keep a stern expression "Where'd you get the money from, Riley?"

Riley's huge grin faded to a bright smile and his bobbing slowed, but it continued nonetheless.

"I-I saved up a bunch of money over the summer. Decided I've got nothing to lose since Eastern's giving me full scholarship…ha go figure."

Zane rolled his eyes and warned Riley with his tone. "Riley…" Riley's smile had shrunk to a guilty half smirk and Zane had his hand on Riley's left arm, lightly caressing it as if he were coaxing him to tell the truth. Riley felt the warmth of Zane's hand on his arm and gave in.

"It belonged to a friend."

"Anyone I know?"

"No." Zane narrowed his eyes and lightly licked his lips in the midst of his frustration. He shifted his weight from one leg to the other, a sure sign that he was becoming impatient. Riley felt his stomach turn. "Y-yeah…I guess you could say that."

"Was it Peter?"

"Nah, Peter would never do anything that nice." Riley said jokingly with an awkward laugh. Zane nodded impatiently, silently wishing that Riley would take him seriously.

"What about that guy from the other night?"

"…A-wall?"

"Yeah. Him." Riley nodded yes and then shrugged. Zane didn't really know him, so there wasn't much that he could argue.

"How much did he give you?" Riley shrugged and almost lowered his voice to a complete whisper.

"A lot." Zane shifted his weight from one side to the other and shook his head.

"You have to pay him back." Riley's mouth almost dropped as he tried to imagine paying A-wall back. Between dinner, the admission cost and the generous gift he gave the bouncer, he had already spent about three hundred dollars.

Riley opened his mouth to respond as a guy with a Santa hat and a pair of tight white shorts walked by and completely distracted each of them. Riley stared for a moment as the guy walked by covered in glitter and not much else.

"And you thought I would be cold." Zane mumbled as he tried to make his staring less obvious. Riley stopped looking and glanced at Zane, slightly confused by the sight. "He's probably a go go boy." Zane explained nonchalantly. Riley intensified his confused look to imply that he still had absolutely no clue what Zane was talking about. "A hot guy that dances scantily clad on platforms and bars for money?" Riley squinted and looked back at the dancer's shimmering shorts with look that was almost disapproving.

"Like a stripper?"

"Not exactly." Riley shrugged when he figured he would never completely understand. There were some things he didn't need to get.

"To be honest," he said seductively as he slid a hand around Zane's waist "I'd rather see you in that outfit." Zane laughed and grabbed Riley's hand. He'd talk to him about the money later. What was most important was making Riley comfortable and introducing him to something new.

"Come on," Zane said as he pulled Riley to the door "I think you'll like what's on the other side."


	46. The Airport

Adam stood in the airport in his usual hat and dorky winter coat. He tapped his foot as he waited for the plane to get in from New York. There had been a delay and he had been waiting there for at least two hours.

"You sure this is a good idea?" Eli asked him as he rested a reassuring hand on his shoulder "If you want to take some time to think about this, I understand." Adam held his head high and shook his head.

"No, I'm not backing out. If she can't accept all of me, then it can't work." Eli nodded and brushed his hair away from his forehead. His green eyes always looked slightly unhappy, but at that moment they looked almost depressed and frightened.

"Adam," he sighed as he leaned against a tall pillar "You didn't even give her a chance-"

"Chance to do what? To get used to the idea that I'm…" Adam's voice trailed off as he felt himself getting upset. He calmed down and shuffled his feet. "She knew all along, Eli. She just didn't wanna face it." Eli raised an eyebrow and glanced at the ground. He felt the utmost respect and fear for Adam. Sometimes he felt as if the kid was just asking to have his heartbroken. "Riley said that this was all the time she really needed-"

"Because Riley knows everything." Eli cut in with a sarcastic tone. He was sick of hearing about Riley and Zane and even Fiona. It was almost as if Adam had forgotten who was there for him the most. "I am personally insulted by the fact that you would trust the word of someone who clearly suffers from a serious case of DJS over mine." Adam scrunched his nose and tilted his head to the side.

"…DJS?"

"Dumb Jock Syndrome." Adam let out a laugh of false amusement and looked at Eli with disappointment.

"Don't talk about my friend like that."

"Your friend? Who was there when you first got found out? Who was there when you decided that Gracie was dead once and for all? Who was th-"

"Okay! I get it!" Adam practically screamed after Eli's voice became tiring. But Eli continued and answered his own question.

"Me and Clare. Not them."

"You and Clare practically ditched me when you got together. To say I was the third wheel was an understatement."

"Then please enlighten me. Because I don't understand how wasting your time with Rockette and Mr. Tight-end is an improvement."

"Are you seriously making gay jokes right now?"'

"I'm just saying that I would think the situation would have worsened considering you three have nothing in common." Adam rolled his eyes and looked from side to side. He didn't want to explode from anger in public, but Eli had crossed the line one too many times.

"We do have something. You'll never know what it feels like to be tormented over something that you've had to deal with since birth. You and Clare will never know what it's like to _really_ be different." Eli raised an eyebrow at Adam's outrage and stepped back "Sure you drive your hearse and listen to your heavy metal and Clare has her Jesus freaks anonymous round table and her impeccable vocabulary but there's a difference: you two do all of those things by choice. You're different because you think it's cool."

"That's completely debateable-"

"The things that you get teased about you could easily fix or grow out of. I'm not growing out of this." Adam could feel his throat closing and he began to retreat. "There's no getting out of this prison."

Eli could feel tears welling up in his eyes and blinked to stop them. Adam didn't even bother catching the tears that escaped down his cheek. He simply shook his head out of frustration and hurt and walked away.

Eli stood close by as Fiona finally walked out of the gate. She was carrying a small purse and was headed for the baggage claim. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Adam waiting for her. He walked slowly toward her and almost all of the confidence he felt when he first arrived had left him. They stared at each other in silence for a moment and said absolutely nothing. Adam finally mustered up the courage to speak, but his voice sounded meek and unsure.

"Fiona I-"

"I just want to be normal." Adam looked at Fiona with surprise when she finally spoke. She wiped her tears with a gloved hand and sniffed. "I've always been…living in a fishbowl. People always watching me." Fiona waited for her tears to subside before she continued further "Then I was the new rich girl at school. Next I was Riley's cover then Declan's biggest embarrassment, Bobby's punching bag, the drunk. I just want to be Fiona with a sweet normal boyfriend who follows her around and treats her like a princess." Adam lifted his head and looked Fiona in the eyes.

"Well, having a guy that's three out of the four isn't all that bad." A smile threatened Fiona's lips as she looked at Adam. "I really like you, Fiona. But if you think ignoring it is going to make our relationship normal than you have it all wrong. But it has the potential to be healthy and amazing and to grow into something really awesome if you would just…" Adam stopped speaking when Fiona stepped closer to him. She took one hand and cradled his cheek. Her eyes looked over every part of his face and she let them travel all the way down to his shoes. She smiled after a long moment and dropped her hand to her side.

"What was that?" Adam asked, disappointed that she had backed away.

"I was looking at you. _Really_ looking." Fiona sighed and secured her bag on her shoulder. She rested her hand on Adam's shoulder and planted a kiss on his lips that caused him to blush uncontrollably. "You're still Adam." She said as she looked at him "You like graphic novels and alternative bands that no one has ever heard of and you secretly hate English class." Adam laughed and stared at Fiona with admiration as she continued. "But most important, you're my prince. And a small defect won't ever change that." Adam grinned at Fiona and offered her his arm and she linked hers with his. "How will I possibly explain this to my mom?" Fiona asked as she led her boyfriend through the airport.

"You don't have to." He replied, as he intertwined his fingers with hers. "Not just yet." The two exited grinning ear to ear and waited for Fiona's bags hand in hand.

Eli pushed himself off of the pillar that was supporting him and watched the couple reunite. He couldn't say that he was at all happy for Adam. What marked the new beginning of Fiona and Adam's relationship possibly marked the end of the most meaningful friendship he had ever had.


	47. The Club part 1

**What happens when your internet goes out for two weeks?**

…**an unintentional hiatus.**

**This chapter is split into like…four parts.**

**If that doesn't make you happy than idk what will. **

What Riley saw when he stepped into the club couldn't be described with words. The place was humongous, but he didn't get a true feel for how large the venue was until he looked up at the ceiling which seemed to never end. He looked up and saw numerous go-go dancers gyrating and moving above his head and strobe lights flashing everywhere he turned. There were about five bars and one huge DJ booth that seemed to be floating in mid air above a center platform. Riley looked wildly toward Zane who was almost as ecstatic as him and smirked.

"If this is what heaven looks like" Riley began as he continued to eye the flashing lights and the crowds of people dancing and laughing, "I have _no_ problem with dying young." Zane nudged Riley in the side and cut his eyes toward him "I mean, as long as you're there…of course."

Zane heard the beat and a huge smile spread across his face as he began to dance in place. He saw some friends from the resort on the dance floor and gripped Riley's hand tightly.

"Dance with me!" He said over the music as he began to run into the crowd. Riley got the same feeling he had in the hotel lobby, except worse. There were tons of people that he'd never met jumping up and down, vogue-ing and grinding like they were a bunch of humping bunnies. Zane saw Riley's hesitation and gave his arm one more yank. "Come on man. I like this song." Riley looked at Zane's enthusiastic grin and winced. He didn't want to say no to him, but he probably would've puked if he were to get sucked into the crowd. Riley stopped and gently intertwined his fingers with Zane's.

"I-I don't think so." Zane's face fell but then he smiled softly as he lightly punched Riley on the arm.

"What's there to be nervous about?"

"There's…_so _many of them."

"You mean, so many of us?" Zane asked Riley, as if reminding him for about the fifth time that day that they were part of the gay community as well, despite the difference in age and experience. Riley huffed and grabbed both of Zane's hands. He looked at the crowd and then back at Zane, trying to avoid his pleading eyes.

"This whole thing just freaks me out."

"Riley, Don't worry about it." Riley shook his head and leaned in toward Zane.

"You go," he said into Zane's ear, whose smile faded as his boyfriend rejected him "just give me a few minutes." Zane nodded and let Riley kiss him on the cheek. He slowly disappeared into the crowd and Riley watched him find his friends before he began to wander alone.

Riley walked through the club with his arms crossed in defense, searching for a place where he could sit and not be bothered. He spotted a couch in a far corner and began making his way before he was stopped by a twenty something year old guy with slicked brown hair. He was attractive, but was dressed as if he were going to a business meeting.

"Oh, I'm sorry." The man said after bumping into Riley in an obvious manner. He gave Riley a once over and stuck out his hand "Jacob Wright." Riley stared at the man's hand for a moment, being caught off guard by what he saw as him being overly friendly, but he shook the silly thought from his head and grabbed the mans hand in return.

"Hi…Sorry, I'm totally out of my element."

"Well, nice to meet you out of my element." Riley rolled his eyes at what he saw as his own stupidity and shook his head.

"I'm Riley. Sorry." The man laughed and smiled at Riley with sympathy. He stared with admiration at the redness of Riley's cheeks and shook his head.

"It's okay." There was an awkward silence for a moment before the man lightly gripped Riley's sleeve and pulled him closer to the bar where it was easier to be heard. "You know, you kind of remind me of a model who came into my agency the other day. Not half as good-looking as you of course." Riley couldn't help but laugh and awkwardly scratch behind his ear.

"Modeling's not my thing. I'm a football player, not very graceful." The man smirked and looked at Riley's arms and chest.

"Yeah I could tell that you uh…really take care of yourself." Riley nodded and continued to search for somewhere to escape. "You could totally pull it off if you wanted. You're a fresh face ,your young, in shape, you've got pretty blue eyes..." Riley blushed and began to respond but was too flattered.

"I-I don't think-"

"Well, they just keep getting younger and younger don't they Jake?" Jacob glanced at what Riley saw as a tall woman with big hair standing next to the bar with a voice that was extremely powerful and mesmerizing. Jacob looked nervous for a moment and then turned his attention back to Riley.

"A-anway like I was saying-"

He turned his back, but the woman glided over next to him and laid a dramatic arm on his shoulder "Jacob, dear, _where_ do you think you're going? Now, I don't mean to be a _drag_ but, honey this has gotten out of hand."

Jacob looked apologetically at Riley and surprisingly put his hand directly on the woman's shoulder and began shoving her away. But the woman was resilient and stood her ground.

" I know you like younger men but this one," She looked at Riley and then shook her head "Well, let's just say you're no longer robbing the cradle, you're robbing the womb." Jacob sighed out of relief when she finally released his head from her grip, but she surprised him by repeatedly hitting him in the back of the head with her hand. "He is practically a f_etus_! Have you lost your mind? " Riley noticed that her voice had gotten slightly deeper, and with all the strobe lights he hadn't yet seen how broad and muscular her shoulders were. "Get out of here you sick fuck." She smiled at where Jacob had run off and turned back to Riley who looked like he was going to pass out in the middle of the floor.

"You look like you could use a drink. Bartender, something straight…on the rocks." Riley glanced up at the woman who flashed a toothy grin at him. He finally saw underneath all of the makeup, the huge blonde hair and the sparkling dress.

"Holy crap you're a dude." Riley squeaked as he leaned on the bar with his head in his hands "Can you get me another?"


	48. The Club part 2

The drag queen stroked Riley's hair and called for another drink, which Riley gratefully downed with the other. The queen waited for Riley to calm down before she began to speak again.

"I may be going out on a limb here but um…you're new to all this aren't you?" Riley nodded wearily and raised his eyebrows.

"What was your first clue?" She appeared offended for a moment and crossed her legs dramatically.

"Well number one: the modeling pickup. Now every gay boy knows that you never say yes to a guy who : Asks you to help him find his lost dog, claims that he'll pay you a thousand dollars _just_ to clean his pool or uses what old Jake over there's been shellin' out for about twelve years. Number two: you look scared shitless honey and last and most importantly: you clearly have no idea who I am."

"Who are you then?" Riley asked, frustrated and flustered by how quickly he lost sight of his boyfriend.

"Mimi Melot," she immediately stuck her hand in Riley's face and he graciously squeezed it once before drawing his hand away shyly "charmed I'm sure. Now, who the fuck are you?" Riley's eye lids started to feel heavy as a result of the alcohol and he rubbed them with the back of his hand. He cleared his throat and unsuccessfully tried to keep his voice from shaking.

"I-I'm Riley." Mimi put her hand to her chest and immediately felt bad for being so hard on him. She couldn't help but think that he was absolutely adorable.

"You are just too cute. I may have to take you under my boa…show you the ropes. Although, I don't think razzle dazzle is your thing." She said as she ruffled her dress and threw it over her leg. "You look more like a rough and tumble kinda guy."

"Yeah I guess-"

"I dated a jock once." Riley nodded and pretended to act interested as he began to glance around the bar out of curiosity. "He was a wrestler. The best in the league at that. He always came out on top…." Mimi pursed her lips and looked off into space in retrospect "except for in the bedroom." Riley scrunched up his nose and scoffed as Mimi came back to earth and excitedly leaned toward him "What do you say that Mimi finds you someone your own age?"

"Um, no." Riley said with an awkward giggle "I have a boyfriend actually."

"Oh! Well goody tell me about him. What's he look like, what's he into, how tall, nice ass, big dick, good in bed etcetera." Riley paused and then tried to recall all of the questions. He raised an eyebrow to show that he didn't follow and Mimi sighed.

"Okay I know you can't be as innocent as you may seem but I'll take it slow…" Mimi plastered a fake smile on her face and sat up straight. "How'd you meet?" she asked slowly and carefully as if she were speaking to someone who were deaf in one ear and developmentally challenged.

"In yoga class."

"I knew it." She said loudly, her face lighting up at her discovery. "I smelled freak all over you as soon as you walked in here. Only in yoga class do you get an excuse to watch hot guys do pelvic tilts in spandex pants. Dated a yoga instructor once. Caught my eye doing the seated wide legged straddle. Next thing I knew, he was teaching me the downward facing dog at his place." Riley snickered and rolled his eyes. Mimi leaned in closer and lowered her voice "and that's the other thing, if he can do a one-legged king pigeon pose with ease…just imagine all the possibilities." Riley thought back to when Zane surprised him with his ridiculous flexibility and upper body strength on numerous occasions and smiled.

"Trust me, I know what you mean." Mimi raised an eyebrow and playfully slapped Riley on the shoulder.

"See, that's what I've been waiting for. Goodness getting you to come out of your shell is like me getting dressed for a show: takes a lot of pulling, wiggling, and tucking but once you got it," Mimi stood up and did a slow twirl and held her arms out in a dramatic pose as a visual "it's all worth it." Riley raised an eyebrow and tried to figure out which Mimi he was seeing was actually her. Alcohol never had a good effect on him.

"I feel so weird about all this." He said with a small laugh. Mimi smacked her lips and gave Riley a once over and cocked her head to the side in curiosity.

"How old are you sweetie?"

"umm…twenty." Mimi raised an eyebrow and shook her head. "Nineteen?" Mimi began to look impatient and knowingly rolled her eyes. "Eighteen." Mimi finally released a hearty laugh and lightly pinched Riley's cheeks.

"Don't worry I'm just curious…I won't ruin your fun. Just sit back, relax and let me tell you about the time that-" Mimi stopped talking as a guy sat down next to Riley. He glanced to his right where Riley was sitting quietly and winked.

"Hey, wassup? I'm Rex."

"No." Mimi said flatly as the guy inched toward Riley. "Absolutely not, he's off limits." The guy looked up at Mimi and released an irritated scoff.

"Oh, really?" He looked toward Riley and lowered his voice seductively "Why you got a boyfriend or somethin'?"

"Yes, yes he does." The guy leaned in toward Riley as if he were about to tell him a secret.

"Guess what?" he asked, lowering his voice to a complete whisper "So do I."

"Rex, he doesn't want you."

"Why wouldn't he?"

"Let me break it to you softly sugar," Mimi leaned in and propped herself on the bar as if she were preparing to give a public service announcement "if Richard Simmons got drunk, fucked a donkey _upside down_ while smoking a crack pipe in the middle of a Louisiana power plant; the offspring would look less retarded than you."

Riley tried to hold back a laugh and looked back and forth between the two of them. He began to shrink into the bar stool, attempting to make himself invisible. Rex looked offended and than scoffed.

"Whatever." However someone caught Rex's eye and his gaze followed them as they walked toward the bar. "And, moving on." Mimi pressed her face next to Rex's so that she could easily follow his stare and spotted the guy immediately.

"Oh, please." She said with her hands on her hip. She reached up to adjust her 'boobs' and fix her hair "if anything he'd be interested in me." Riley snickered and spun in his seat to see what his guy looked like. His eyes widened and he spun back around with his hands on his head.

"You never know if you don't try." Rex said slyly as he began to rise from his chair. Mimi grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back down.

"unh unh…Jailbait." She said as she gave the guy an up and down. "I have Chris Hansen's number on speed dial and I'm not afraid to use it."

"If anyone's ending up in handcuffs by the end of the night..it's gonna be him." Rex said, referring to his new target. He smiled devilishly and tried to catch Riley's eye to see if he appreciated the joke, but Riley was in another world.

"You're disgusting." Mimi sighed as she lightly slapped Rex on the arm.

Mimi looked toward Riley who was breathing heavily and gripping the bar counter. He was staring at Rex with a look that could kill an entire army.

"I'm not disgusting." He said as he sat back with his arms on the bar as his eyes stayed glued to the guy with magnetic attraction "I'm…observant and honest." Mimi ignored him and rested a hand on Riley's back.

"What's the matter baby?" Mimi picked up Riley's empty glass and handed it to the bartender "jack got your tongue?" Riley shook his head and rubbed his face once more before sitting up.

"Yeah…I'm fine."

Riley felt a pair of hands covering his eyes and he turned around slowly. Zane was standing behind him, smiling as usual with a sparkle in his light brown eyes. Riley was completely relieved to see Zane again. He shook his mind of the lewd comment Rex was just making about his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around Zane's waist, pulling him closer to him. He kissed him lightly on the lips and looked up at him with a childish glint in his eye.

"You have fun?" Riley asked, his head spinning from the loud music, fatigue and the three drinks he just downed without looking back. Zane's smile faded a little and he shrugged.

"Yeah. And it could be even more fun if you would join me."

"You know I'm not much of a dancer."

"Well you danced at the mixers. _And_ at the dance last month-"

"Yeah but never like…" Riley looked behind Zane for a moment to recapture the outrageous dancing that was happening behind him "that." Zane laughed flashing his brilliant smile and riley could feel his face flush out of embarrassment. Zane was almost just as overwhelmed by how adorable and timid Riley was being about the experience. He couldn't blame him for being nervous. He tried to think back to a time before he had met Mat, which was surprisingly difficult, and remembered how lost he was without guidance.

"I'll teach you." Zane said with a seductive wink as he held Riley's hands on his waist and began to walk backward toward the dance floor. But they were stopped before they could get too far.


	49. The Club part 3

"My, my, my who do we have here?" Riley sighed, partially from relief that he didn't have to be swallowed by the evil crowd of death, but also slightly frustrated because he was kind of excited to be with Zane. Anything that involved physical contact was okay in Riley's book.

"Zane, this is Mimi," Riley said reluctantly and lack luster "Mimi my boyfriend, Zane."

"Well, aren't you a hot young thing?" Mimi said with a flirtatious grin. Zane blushed and nodded while Riley proudly put his arm around Zane.

"Nice meeting you." Zane replied, smiling his usual mega watt grin before blushing uncontrollably. Mimi's eyes lit up at the sight of Zane's smile and she began to fan herself with a gloved hand.

"Whoo, honey. The stars ain't got nothing on that smile of yours."

"Jeez, you're worse than me." Rex said playfully over his shoulder "Looks like I'm not the one who'll be spending their nights in a jail cell with a bunch of tattooed bears for the next few years…although knowing you, you'd _probably_ like that." Mimi grabbed Rex's drink and hacked a clean spit into his glass. She smiled graciously before returning his drink to his hand.

"You serious?" he asked angrily. Mimi ignored him and returned her attention to Zane.

"Can I get you a beer sweetie?" she asked sweetly as she ignored Rex's mumbling.

"Um…" Zane looked at Rex's drink and back at Mimi. "no thanks."

"Oh don't worry, he gets special treatment."

"No, I'm fine thank you."

Riley turned Zane's attention toward him and nuzzled Zane's neck with his nose. Zane bit his lip and tried to hold back a smile.

"Stop Riley I'm sweaty." Riley looked up at Zane, his lips resting on Zane's soft shoulders and winked.

"Never bothered me before." Zane looked at Riley and had to concentrate to keep his knees from giving in. There was something about Riley's eyes and childish yet masculine mannerisms that made him weak. Zane couldn't resist and leaned down to kiss him. Zane ended up kissing Riley more than he intended and Riley didn't think twice when his hands began to wander inside of Zane's shirt.

"Riley, come on." Zane warned as he moved his hand back to his side. Riley looked into Zane's eyes and bit his lip hungrily.

"No one here cares," he said softly into Zane's ear "remember?" Zane lost control and practically lunged to kiss Riley again. He passionately ran one hand through Riley's hair as he let Riley's hands grab and feel whatever they wanted. Mimi's eyes were practically glued to them, as were numerous other perverted spectators.

"Well shit, where's your video camera when you need it?" Mimi said distractedly as she excitedly poked Rex in the arm. Rex turned around, glanced at Riley and Zane and shook his head.

"And you call _me_ a creep?" he said sarcastically as he turned back toward the bar.

"No!" Mimi said in defense "I'm smart. Do you have any idea how much money I could make off of something like this?" Mimi glanced at all of the men standing around watching the couple practically devour each other and leaned toward Rex's ear "Should I start charging admission?" Rex saw the small crowd and decided that enough was enough.

"Alright you two this ain't Pornhub live nock it off." Rex said as he stared judgingly at Riley and Zane. The couple looked toward Rex with indifferent glances and turned back toward each other.

"What's his deal?" Zane asked as he let his arms rest on Riley's shoulders. Riley shrugged and rested his head on Zane's chest. The alcohol was really setting in. He could feel his eyes wandering and his speech slurring.

"I-I don't know."

"I saw him first anyways" Rex said coyly as he stood up from the bar.

"What's he talking about?" Zane asked as he sat on Riley's knee.

"N-nothing. Let's just change the subject." Mimi felt the awkwardness between the three of them and came to the rescue:

"So, how long have you two been together?" At this point, the drinks had completely hit Riley and he was completely distracted by the sheen of Zane's belt. Zane could sense Riley's dilemma and answered for him.

"Seven months."

"Well goodness. That's a hell of a long time for a couple of kids." She responded. Zane shrugged and was about to respond before Riley tightened the grip around his waist."

"Truusst me," Riley said slowly, his speech completely slurred, "if you… saw _him_ naked, _you_ wouldn't plan on leaving eitherr." Zane laughed awkwardly and squirmed away as Riley left an affectionate trail of kisses down his neck and shoulders.

"Riley, who let you drink?" Mimi put her hand up and made an exasperated facial expression.

"Sorry," she squeaked "couldn't help myself."

"Riley, you know what alcohol does to you."

"Apparently it's an aphrodisiac…" Mimi said under her breath as she watched Riley lift up Zane's shirt for a quick peak. Zane slapped Riley's hand away causing him to giggle.

"No, he's uh… always like that. When he drinks, he gets angrer than usual. Which is saying a lot." Riley shook his head roughly and rested it on Zane's shoulder.

"I'm not angry, see?"

"Yes Riley, I see." Zane saw how Riley was smiling goofily and staring off into space. He rested his arms on Riley's shoulders before moving Riley's face so that he could see into his eyes. "Maybe we should go back to the lodge." Riley shook his head then stopped himself. He looked up at Zane with hopeful eyes and bit his lip.

"Mmk, but only if we can…" Riley glanced down at Zane's pants and then back up at him "you know." Mimi scoffed and excused herself before she had a laughing fit, giving the couple a few moments of much needed privacy. Zane rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"No. You're going home and lying down."

"But…I would be lying down."

"Riley…" Riley sighed and used Zane as support as he struggled to stand to his feet.

"Okay sir." He said sarcastically. He hung one arm around Zane's neck as they began to make their way toward the exit. Zane nodded toward Mimi as a quick goodbye but Riley stopped him and tried to turn around.

"Ooh! Wait, I wanna say bye." Riley loosened himself from Zane's grip and staggered back toward Mimi.

"If I don't see you again…I want to say…that you really freak me out." Zane grabbed Riley's hand and pulled him backward but Riley resisted. "And you…" he said as he waved a drunken finger toward Rex "watch it man." Rex shook his head and pushed Riley's finger out of his face.

"What'd you just say, skunk breath?" Mimi stepped between the heated guys and rested a warning hand on Rex's shoulder.

"Okay okay." Mimi's voice didn't have the same lift in it that it had had earlier. She seemed to be dropping the act a little. "Boys, hold your fire. You'll totally forget about this in the morning." Riley was being held back by Zane and he finally turned to walk away while Zane walked behind him, pushing him to the door. Rex saw his opportunity and lightly slapped Zane on the backside.

"See ya hot stuff." Zane rolled his eyes and looked back for a moment before he continued to push Riley toward the door, but Riley had already heard him.

"Wait, what'd he say?" Riley asked Zane as he turned around. Zane kept his hands on Riley's chest and began to push him backward.

"Nothing. He didn't do anything. Let's go."

"No." Riley broke free of Zane's hands and began to walk toward Rex "did he touch you?" Zane shook his head and tried to keep himself from stuttering.

"N-no. He…he didn't say anything come on. Riley, you're drunk let's go back."

"What part of 'watch it" don't you understand man?" Mimi looked back at Riley who was red from anger and plowing through the crowd to get to Rex.

"Oh my," she mumbled as she clutched her pearls and began to retreat.

"Riley, calm down." Zane said as he tried to pull on his arm. But Riley was stronger, and ended up dragging Zane with him. Rex stood up from his seat and met Riley half way.

"Are you fucking crazy?" Riley screamed, as Rex stood before him, completely fearless.

"Boys, let's talk about this okay?" Mimi was now using Zane as a barrier between him and the fight that was soon to break out. He crouched behind Zane further and peaked his head over his shoulder. "Violence is _never_ the answer….except for that _one_ time when that bitch tried to take the last pair of platinum stilettos at the outlet when I _told_ her that_ I_ needed a size 12…" Mimi continued to rattle in Zane's ear as Rex and Riley prepared to duke it out.

"It's a free country." Rex said with a laugh "Maybe you should worry more about watching your boyfriends ass instead of your own-"

The last comment set Riley off. He stepped toward Rex and grabbed him by the collar, threatening him with his eyes and drunken glazed over stare. All sober thoughts had completely left his mind.


	50. Bar Fight

Riley mustered up all of his strength and clumsily threw Rex into the bar. Gasps and yelps came from around the scene, most of them from Mimi, and Riley stepped back as Rex fell onto the counter. Riley began to back away but before he turned he saw Rex laugh mockingly. He began to walk toward him, planning to stop Rex's laughter once and for all.

"Riley!" Riley's thoughts were broken by the sound of Zane's voice. He looked at Rex who was bleeding from a gash on his forehead and realized that he was the culprit. He began to back away, heading for the exit, but Zane grabbed him and forced him back to his place. "What's wrong with you?" Riley's eyes widened at Zane's anger and he tried to stand upright without support. "Control yourself… for _once_." Zane pleaded, completely helpless. He noticed that the bouncers were becoming attracted to the noise, and he felt that it was a good idea that they abandon the scene. "We're going home." Zane said softly, so that Riley could sense his seriousness. Riley shook his head and laughed. But it was a drunken laugh, not his usual boyish snicker.

"Home?" he asked as the dizziness became less severe "Where?" Zane furrowed his brow and shook his head in disbelief.

"Riley, what are you talking about?"

"I don't have anywhere to go."

"How drunk _are_ you man?" Riley glanced around desperately, realizing that he finally had to face something that he had been avoiding during this entire trip.

"She kicked me out." Zane's eyes widened and he let out a surprisingly aggravated sigh. "My mom…she didn't take it too well." Zane recognized that the longer he and Riley were together, the more impatient he became. But his voice softened as he reached for Riley's hand.

"God, Riley…. Why the hell didn't you tell me?" Riley clumsily pulled his hand away and the momentum almost caused him to fall backwards.

"I always feel like I'm bothering you. I just….I just wanted you to feel like you didn't have to baby sit me all the time."

"And do you think that having to take care of you like this is any better?" Riley shook his head and shuffled his feet. "Riley, you just threw a guy across the room-"

'Don't inflate his ego…" Rex cut in as a friend wiped at his head with a damp bar napkin "it was _maybe_ three feet-"

"Riley," Zane said, ignoring Rex's comment "I don't care that you can't always pay for everything. I don't care if you have to crash at my house for a few days…but I deserve for you to be honest with me. And there's no excuse for you to make such irresponsible decisions."

Riley closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand. Zane could be really unreasonable at times and unfortunately he wasn't letting up on Riley.

"Zane, did you miss the part where there was a _man_ in a _dress_ talking to me all night? If that's not enough to drive you to drink than what the hell is?" Mimi sat up straight and turned her nose up at Riley.

"Do you believe this bitch?" she said to the bartender as he continued to mix drinks with one eye on Riley and Zane. Zane glanced awkwardly toward Mimi and stepped closer to his boyfriend, making sure that he didn't say anything else out of drunken rage. At this point, Riley was beginning to feel sick and irritable.

"Plus," Riley continued, trying to hold back his obvious emotion "how am I supposed to make responsible decisions with all these guys around?"

"Riley, you can't lose control every time one or two guys gives me some attention." Riley's mouth threatened to fall open in disbelief. If the attention were only coming from one or two, none of this would have happened.

"Zane you get way more attention than that." Zane looked at his feet and ran his tongue over his teeth impatiently. He knew what Riley was talking about, but he was too humble to admit it. "I've been controlling myself practically every second we've been here." Riley closed his eyes and tried to calm himself. He ran his hand through his hair and tried not to look at Zane. Even the sight of him was making him angry. "You know what," Riley began as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I can't deal with this." Zane furrowed his brow and looked at Riley as if he were insane.

"Deal with what?"

"Live with the feeling that every person we meet is competition."

"Riley I told you I'm not leaving you, I _wish_ you would understand that." Riley tapped his foot repeatedly, trying to hold back what was threatening to spew from his lips every time Zane said that very statement.

"Dude, you almost did." Zane parted his lips as if he were about to speak, but kept quiet instead. He was taken aback by Riley's mentioning of what had happened a month ago. It was the first time either of them had said anything about it.

There was a full awkward minute where neither of the two said a word. Mimi, who was sitting with her legs open in a surprisingly masculine manner, was lightly glancing between the two of them, betting in her head which one would speak first.

Riley felt light headed, partially because of what he just confessed, and sauntered over to the bar where he rested his head in his hands. He felt a light touch on his shoulder and looked beside him. He briefly caught Zane's eye and then looked away. Zane planned on telling Riley that he never even considered leaving and that he was offended that Riley would say that. But he didn't, because he knew that in one way or another, it wasn't true.

"I'll be waiting outside." Zane said instead with a somber look in his eyes "Pull yourself together I'm calling a cab." Riley was so wasted that he barely heard what Zane had said. He turned to the bar and sat down, resting his head on the cool counter top.

"Listen," Riley's eyes narrowed as Mimi's voice became deeper than any that he had heard that night. "He may suck a little at showing it sometimes, but he loves you half to death. So much that he's willing to put up with your drunk ass …which _I'm_ about sick of."

"Yeah, yeah I'm lucky to be with him, I get it. You don't think people tell me that every day?" Mimi shook her head and sat gracefully on the stool beside him. She threw her hair behind her shoulder and leaned on the bar top.

"And _he's_ lucky to be with _you_. You're protective, funny, humble, sweet-"

"I'm a mess."

"You're adorable. And you'd do anything for him I could just see it in the way you look at him. He said himself that he's not going anywhere and you need to start believing that your good enough or else he _will_ leave. Trust me I've been there." Riley looked down at his feet dangling over the stool and tried to stay upright.

"Maybe…we should take a break. I mean, since my mom kicked me out I haven't been myself." Mimi rolled her eyes and plopped gracefully onto the bar stool next to Riley. She dramatically crossed her legs as she slowly began to return to character.

"Yeah, about the whole 'mom issue'…If I had listened to _my_ mother I'd be married to some blonde tramp in Albuquerque wearing a grey pinstripe suit, sneakin' into her closet to try on her Jimmy Choo's…. Parents don't know _shit_ honey."

Riley looked doubtful and shrugged. "I wish it were that easy. I just can't think of it that way." Mimi leaned in toward Riley and rested a heavy hand on his back. Riley glanced up at her somberly as his headache became severe.

"Blood may be thicker than water," Mimi began with a hint of humor in her voice "but do you know what's thicker than blood?"

"What?" Riley asked sarcastically as he took a sip of water.

"Cum." Riley almost spit out his water at Mimi's response. She knew how to shock him at just the right moments. "and trust me, she'll come around with time." Riley sighed and lifted his head for a moment before letting it fall back onto the counter "Now, go _get_ him so that you two can put this behind you, have hot makeup sex and uh…" Mimi lowered her voice and glanced around the bar "how about you make a video. Send it as a thank you gift." Mimi winked and giggled, Riley finally laughed in return.

"I'll send it express delivery." He said tiredly as he stood up and made his way toward the door. Mimi blushed and waved after Riley as he left.

"I'll be waiting by my mailbox sweetie!"


	51. Discussion

Riley awakened with the sun practically burning his eyes. It was an unusual feeling and accompanied by the stomachache and sever migraine, he felt as if he had the worst case of the flu possible. He immediately let his hand drop where Zane would have been, but he realized that not only was he alone, he was on the couch, in his clothes from last night.

He stood up and tried to keep himself from falling back onto the couch. He turned his back to the burning sunlight and walked underneath the overpass that led to the main room. He expected Zane to be awake, however he didn't expect to see him still in bed. He clearly hadn't showered yet, which at this hour was a complete oddity for him, and he was still wearing his usual night-clothes: nothing. The covers of the bed rested conveniently over his lap as he looked over the newspaper through his glasses. He barely heard Riley walking toward him. Riley stopped at the side of the bed and Zane didn't respond, so he made his presence known.

"Room for one more?" he asked sheepishly as he had to learn the hard way that his throat was terribly dry. Zane glanced up only with his eyes and quickly returned his attention to the paper.

"Yeah," he said softly, aware of Riley's raging hangover "sure thing." Zane had been expecting, and silently hoping, that Riley would return to bed in the middle of the night. He had even slept on the right side of the bed to make room for him.

Riley knew how obsessive Zane could be about dirty clothes on fresh sheets, so Riley struggled out of his jeans and clumsily unbuttoned his shirt before crawling into bed in his wife beater and briefs.

Riley sat awkwardly on the far left side, not sure exactly where he and Zane's relationship stood. Zane could sense Riley's skepticism and laid the paper down on his lap. He removed his glasses and threw them onto the nightstand with a sigh.

"What's up?" he asked without attempting to make eye contact. Riley cringed as his stomach tensed, the pain almost unbearable. It probably wasn't all that bad, but he had always been a wimp when it came to being sick.

"Hung over." He answered. Zane shrugged.

"Well, that was expected." Riley felt confused by Zane's coldness and wondered what had happened after they caught the cab that night. Riley couldn't remember anything.

"So…you kicked me out of bed last night?" Zane raised an eyebrow and shook his head.

"No. You just crashed as soon as we walked in the door." Riley scratched behind his ear and glanced at Zane and saw that he was smirking. "Well, _I_ walked in, _you_ were dragging behind me." Riley couldn't help but chuckle at the thought. He felt his face flush when Zane laughed as well, flashing his charming smile.

"And…the cab?"

"Asleep as soon as you hit the leather."

"Damn, I was really out of it." Zane's smile faded at the thought of the chaos of the previous night, and Riley fiddled awkwardly with his fingers. "I messed up, Zane." Zane looked down at his lap and shook his head, but it wasn't because of the reason Riley thought. "You deserve better and… I'm sorry." Zane stayed silent and Riley slouched against the headboard. "You hate me." Zane snickered and held the bridge of his nose as he shook his head.

"I don't hate you Riley." Riley was irritated by Zane's laughter and immaturely crossed his arms across his chest.

"See? You think everything I say is stupid." Zane sighed, disappointed in himself for not having the courage to say how he really felt. His laughter was out of nervousness, not because he really thought that Riley was ridiculous.

"Come here." He almost whispered as he held his hand out to Riley. For a moment Riley glared at him stubbornly, but Zane's eyes were so welcoming. He moved closer to his boyfriend and rested his head on Zane's bare chest. Riley rested an arm around Zane's waist and closed his eyes, trying to soothe his headache by blocking out the light.

"What're we gonna do?" Riley asked with his eyes still shut. Zane shrugged and glanced down at him.

"Everything's out in the open now…" Zane waited for Riley to take the bait and after a minute of silence it seemed hopeless. But Riley finally spoke.

"Sometimes I wish you were ugly." He said jokingly with a groggy tone in his voice. Zane snickered and spoke into Riley's hair.

"Likewise." Riley opened his eyes briefly to show his confusion.

"But, I don't get half the attention you do."

"That's what you think. But we both know it's not ture." Riley smirked and buried his face into Zane's chest, trying to hide the redness of his cheeks.

"Nuh uh." Zane bit his lip, trying to keep himself from squeezing the life out of Riley for being so humble and naïve.

"Yeah huh. Dude," Zane moved slowly so that Riley could rest his head on a pillow and Zane lay beside him in the same manner. "That receptionist was practically drooling over you. And almost every single guy had their eyes glued to you when we walked into the lodge." Riley supported his head with his hand and leaned on his elbow, Zane mirrored him and smiled at the mass of tussled hair on his boyfriend's head.

"Yeah…" Riley said as he smiled sweetly "but I don't have guys slapping me on the ass and feeding me corny lines like 'come here often?'" Zane laughed and reached up to brush Riley's hair from his face. Riley watched Zane's hand and smiled. Zane's smile began to disappear and his eyes fell to the sheets underneath them.

"Let's address what this is really about…" Riley sighed and let his head fall into the pillows. He turned onto his back and rested his hands on his forehead.

"Please don't say it-"

"Riley…" Riley opened one eye and looked at Zane and both of his eyes opened slowly when he saw how sad he looked. He turned to face him again and rested his hand on Zane's neck, lightly brushing his cheek with his thumb. He had just realized that even though talking about Mat was hard for him, it was even harder for Zane. "We don't have to make a big deal of it…not now. But I want you to know I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize-"

"I do." Riley sighed and ran his hand through his hair before resting his head on the pillow again. "I don't know how to say this…" Riley reached out to touch Zane and stopped. He needed to listen to what he had to say, but at the same time he couldn't keep his hands off of him. "I did still have feelings for Mat but now, I can truly say that…" Riley sighed and struggled to look at Zane's eyes "I can't imagine myself anywhere else but here right now." Riley couldn't resist and began to fiddle with Zane's right hand. He lightly touched the ring on his finger and smiled to himself. "I don't say it well…and I guess that's why you don't believe it but…" Zane looked down at Riley's hand on his and intertwined their fingers together before looking into Riley's eyes. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."


	52. Mother and Son

"You have _no_ shot!" Riley exclaimed as he furiously maneuvered the controller in his hands. Even though Riley and Zane were usually pretty civil, they were extremely competitive when it came to video games. Zane stuck out his tongue in concentration as they threw elbows at each other, trying to throw the other off guard.

"No way man, not this time." Zane responded, his fingers moving faster and faster over the joystick. Riley glanced at him and laughed briefly before moving one hand from the controller so that he could shove Zane into the couch.

"No!" Zane screeched as he tried to sit up without losing the lead his player had on Riley's. Riley felt Zane's hand pushing against his shoulder and he grabbed Zane by the waist and flipped him onto his back. "Hey!" Riley pinned Zane to the couch and stared into his were faces inches apart as they glared at each other, each of them out of breath and grinning. "Illegal contact." Zane said with a coy smile as Riley's eyes wandered over his boyfriend's face. "Feel any better?" grinning at the sight of Zane's signature smile, Riley leaned in and touched his nose to Zane's.

"I am now." Riley closed his eyes and leaned forward while Zane waited expectantly to feel Riley's warm lips on his. When their lips met they kissed softly for a moment before slowly pulling away. Zane let out a satisfied sigh and let his body sink into the couch.

"Jeez," he said as he looked around the room with his boyfriend still resting comfortably on top of him "I can't believe this place." Riley looked admirably at Zane and raised an eyebrow. He was trying his best to make conversation, but Zane just looked so damn cute that day.

"Mhm." Riley mumbled distractedly as he leaned in to kiss Zane again. But Zane was still distracted by the room and didn't reciprocate.

"I mean, can you believe that view?" Zane lightly chuckled to himself, completely blown away by the beauty of the mountains "It's amazing." Riley looked down at Zane and began to slowly lift up his shirt. He smiled and lowered his voice to a whisper

"That it is…" Zane smiled and let Riley kiss him again before pushing him away for a moment.

"Hold on man." Zane said as he squirmed out from underneath Riley to look out the window. Riley remained on the couch before jumping up to join Zane. Zane's eyes danced at the sight of the mountains and he glanced back at Riley excitedly. "Think you'll be up to hitting the slopes tomorrow?" Riley nodded and squinted as the sun reflected off of the white mountaintops and flashed brightly into his eyes.

"Headache's gone…still a little light sensitive though." Zane nodded and let his hand drag across Riley's chest as he made his way toward the kitchen.

"Well, at least the puking stopped."

"Yeah I…wait, when did this happen?" Zane looked back at Riley from the fridge and shrugged.

"You threw up over the balcony dude." Riley raised an eyebrow and slapped a hand to his forehead out of utter humiliation. Every time he got drunk, he blacked out and those nights always ended in embarrassment. Zane noticed that Riley was bright red and his face softened.

"That's embarrassing."

"We've all been there. Plus I'm your boyfriend of seven months," Riley's eyebrows raised at the sound of seven months, sometimes he couldn't believe it "I'm gonna see you when your down in the gutter, especially since you're moving in next week." Riley had been trying to hide his embarrassment by looking down and twiddling with his thumbs, but when he heard the words 'moving in' his twiddling, breathing and heart seemed to stop completely. He looked up at Zane who was smiling to himself while sitting expectantly on the arm of the couch.

"Wait, are you serious?" Zane retreated into the bedroom returning with something small in his hand.

"I believe this was yours," he said as he placed the key in Riley's hands "can't believe it took me this long to give it back." Riley flashed a sweet grin that caused Zane's heart to flutter and stared at the key for a moment before carefully putting it into his pocket.

"Gee I, don't know what to say." Zane shrugged and they stared at each other before Riley's phone began to ring. Riley sighed and grabbed his phone off the counter glaring at it harshly, hoping that the person would hang up and that he wouldn't have to answer. But it was Peter and Peter knew that Riley and Zane were away so if he was calling, it must be important. Zane saw the disappointment on Riley's face and shook his head.

"It's okay," he said with a tug on his boyfriend's t-shirt "I'll just uh…wait in here." Zane nodded toward the bedroom and smiled at Riley deviously before hopping onto the bed. Riley looked toward Zane longingly and reluctantly answered the phone. Before he spoke he walked out onto the balcony and closed the glass door.

"Whatever it is dude," Riley began as he glanced behind him through the glass, eye balling Zane as he slowly stripped off his shirt "you better make it quick."

"Dude, your mom has gone ape shit!" Riley squinted out of confusion, waiting for Peter to explain and then remembered that Peter couldn't see his reaction.

"Wait, what?" he said into the phone as he leaned on the balcony railing.

"She said she's been trying to call you since last night and-dude she was freakin' out."

"When did you talk to my mom?"

"She came by my dorm last night. She feels like _shit_ for kicking you out man I could see it in her eyes it was like she was gonna burst into tears any second."

"Well at least you were there to calm her down."

"Actually… A-wall was there. I came later." Riley almost dropped his phone and backed away from the ledge just in case his hand did slip.

"Damnit."

"No dude, it was for the best he chilled her out. It was when she saw me that she had a spaz all over again."

"What did you tell her?" Riley waited for Peter to answer with uncomfortable anticipation. If he had told her the truth, there was no way that they would ever be able to sort everything out.

"That you were on a road trip with a bunch of friends and that you'd be back in a few days." Riley let out a sigh of relief and leaned on the wall of the building.

"Thank god…wait damnit." Riley looked back at the room again and then back at the sky line "I can't be home in a few days, Zane and I just got here."

"Well dude, that was the best you were gonna get. Trust me she would have freaked if I had even implied that you wouldn't be home till next week. I cut you a break."

"I wonder how she'll take it when I tell her that I don't plan on coming home at all." The silence on Peter's end of the phone was worrisome and confused.

"What?"

"I'm moving in with Zane…sooner than I thought apparently." Peter laughed into the phone and Riley was almost positive that he could hear him smiling manically the way he usually did.

"Shit are you guys like wifed up now? Cause… I don't think I can take it." Riley shook his head and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. He was beginning to get frustrated with everything: with the secrets he's been keeping from his parents, Zane's parents and a few that he'd been keeping from Zane himself. It was way harder to keep those secrets than it would be to just tell the truth.

"I'm gonna call you back later okay?"

"Yeah, dude was it something I said?" Riley opened his mouth to answer and then stopped, knowing that he wouldn't be able to explain what he was feeling even if he tried. He hit the end button on his phone and hung over the balcony staring off into the distance.

He stared down at his fingers and they began to shake. He looked through his contacts list and glared blankly at his mother's number, his eyes clouding up with tears until her phone number became a complete blur. Then, his finger hit the button giving him no choice. The phone seemed to ring forever although it had only rang twice before his mother answered the phone.

"Hello?" Mrs. Stavros said frantically into the phone, her voice quivering as she waited for Riley to respond. "Riley?" Riley gulped and tried to keep his voice from cracking

"Yeah, Mom."

"Oh! O gious God I've been so worried." Riley could hear his mother's voice shaking through tears. Whenever she began speaking in Greek, it was obvious that she was extremely upset. But Riley's face contorted into a look of disgust regardless.

"You kicked _me_ out, remember?" He said harshly as tears threatened his eyes, finally losing all control and any fear that he may have had before he called. Mrs. Stavros sighed and sniffled as her son raised his voice at her.

"We need you home."

"Did you tell dad?" Riley's voice was shaking uncontrollably and it refused to stop cracking. He cleared his throat and tried to regain his composure.

"No…No I didn't. He hasn't been home."

"Well…I don't know if I wanna come home."

"Riley, you are coming home! Right this instant."

"I can't-"

"Tell your friends that your mother ordered you to…"

"I'm not with my friends mom." Mrs. Stavros was completely silent on the other end, anticipating what Riley was going to say. "I'm with Zane." Riley could hear his mother sigh dramatically on the other end of the phone.

"Riley…"

"Is that gonna be a problem?" he said defensively, realizing that he should lower his voice because he was nearly screaming.

"Riley, this is just a phase." Riley rolled his eyes and tried to breathe in and out to keep himself from exploding into his mom's ear "Come home, we can fix this."

"I don't need to be fixed-"

"Riley!" Mrs. Stavros interrupted her son as a last resort, hoping that he would finally listen to her and take what she said into consideration. "Don't put shame on this family. Please. Let me help you." When Riley heard his mom pleading for a moment, he did feel bad. He began to feel that this entire situation was his fault and that maybe, there was something wrong with him. Maybe there was something that could change him back to 'normal'. But then he began to think about Zane, about all that they had gone through to get where they were now and all that he had gone through himself. Riley was completely destructive when he was trying to "fix" himself; destructive to himself and others. He didn't want to be that guy again.

"If you can't accept me," Riley began quietly "_all_ of me, then… I'm not coming home." His mother was silent, so he continued, "I can't come home now ma. I hate who I have to be to make you happy." Riley waited for a while to see if his mom would respond. It took everything he had to finally admit how he felt and now, he almost regretted saying anything at all. "Mom?" Riley felt tears flowing down his cheeks as he realized that his mom had hung up. To him, it meant that she had made the decision to give him up; the son she _thought_ she had known.


	53. The Secret That Keeps On Giving

Adam held Fiona's gloved hand and gave it a light squeeze as they walked down the street. It was nice being with her without having to worry about keeping a secret. Fiona looked down at Adam and smiled, causing him to he look up at her and blush in return.

"You should consider expelling all heels from your wardrobe. You make me feel like a dwarf." Fiona laughed and shook her head as she tightened her grip on Adam's hand.

"Adam, I would be reduced to nothing without my shoes. Did you forget who you were talking to?" Adam nodded and started to lead Fiona into the nearest coffee shop.

"I'm starting to think that if both me and your shoes were trapped in a burning building, you would save them."

"Well…it _would_ be a hard decision to make."

"Fiona!"

"I'm just joking. Stilettos can be replaced, but there's no way I'd be able to find another Adam." Adam rolled his eyes at her and tried to hold back a smile. Although sometimes Fiona spoke as if her life were scripted, he liked that about her. When they walked into the coffee shop Adam found the best table by the window and immediately pulled out Fiona's chair.

"Wow, such the gentleman." She said with an impressed smirk as she lowered herself onto her seat "to what do I owe this pleasure?" Adam sat down and removed his hat. He smoothed his bangs down before relaxing into his seat and sighing.

"None other than yourself… For dealing with all of my baggage." Fiona leaned toward the table and reached out to Adam. He grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes.

"Adam, my life's not exactly…simple either." Adam nodded pretending that Fiona's words were reassuring. Seemingly satisfied, she released his hand and began to look over the one sided menu. "Everything's going to be so different…it's weird knowing that so many people knew and I was completely oblivious." Adam could sense that Fiona was slowly becoming offended by the fact that she didn't know sooner and he grabbed her hand again.

"Fiona…Drew is my _brother_ he had to know. And I didn't even have to tell Riley and Zane…they just figured it out." Fiona sighed and returned her attention to the menu infront of her.

"Yeah I guess you're right." Adam bit his lip, unconvinced by Fiona's acting and attempted to change the subject.

"I have to take you to the next open mic night here. The poetry and the music are _amazing_. You won't believe some of the indie artists that come here just to get their music out there." Fiona looked up at Adam and smiled sheepishly. Adam took it as sarcastic and glared down at the table. "Yeah, I know it's not really your thing."

"No it's just, when you get really excited about something you literally get a twinkle in your eyes…" Fiona let her voice trail off when she saw Adam looking at her blankly "it's just really sweet, that's all." Fiona almost regretted saying anything at all. It was completely out of character for her to be so honestly romantic.

"So," Adam said, changing the subject again "how was your trip?" Fiona's eyes lit up again and she rested her chin in her hand.

"Fabulous. But then again, any chance to see my brother always has a good outcome."

"Wow," Adam said as he raised his eyebrows "you guys are like…_really_ close." Fiona squirmed in her seat and removed her gloves.

"So are you and Drew." She said defensively.

"Depends on the time of day." Adam said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. The waiter reached their table and took their orders, removing the menus from in front of them. Fiona sighed and played with the lace on her gloves before giving Adam a nonchalant shrug.

"Well at least you have other guys you can hang out with when Drew's off…being an ass." Adam glanced up at Fiona's harsh word choice and furrowed his brow "No offense" she said with an adorable innocent shrug. Adam literally shook the statement from his mind and sat closer to the table.

"Who? Riley and Zane? They're cool… but I can't help but feel like the third wheel every now and then."

"Well it never seemed to be a problem before."

"Yeah well they've changed. Just like Eli and Clare and You and me and, God help us, Ali and Drew." Fiona giggled and put her hair behind her ear before daintily sipping from her water glass and smiling.

"So they've…gotten closer since we first started hanging out with them."

"Yeah…have you ever hung out with them? I swear once they get back from vacation they're gonna be talking baby names….I can't believe they just left me here." Fiona became offended at Adam's increasing aggravation. So what Riley and Zane were away for a week? She was still here and they had just sorted things out. Now was not the time for Adam to be complaining about their personal lives.

"You know…we spend a hell of a lot of time talking about other people's relationships." Fiona said coldly. But Adam didn't' catch the hint.

"Cause, people get so wrapped up in their new lives that they _completely_ forget about me."

"So what, is everyone supposed to put their relationships on hold to accommodate you?"

"That's not-"

"Cause last time I checked one of your really great friends was trying to talk to you and you blew them off because of me."

"It's different…"

"It's not. Don't be a hypocrite Adam." Adam bit his lip and looked at Fiona, her face was flushed and she looked just as beautiful when she was angry as she always did, if not more beautiful. He reached across the table and tried to grip her hand but she pulled it away. "Talk to Eli."

"You weren't there…you don't know what he said to me."

"I don't care." Adam's eyes bugged out slightly at his girlfriend's frankness.

"I'm sorry?"

"Until you and Eli makeup, we're not going to work out. You know that." Adam shook his head at Fiona and gave her a halfhearted smile.

"I hate how smart you are sometimes." Fiona smiled back and rested her head on her hand.

"Well, I hate how cute _you_ are all the time. It makes it hard to stay mad at you." Adam smiled at his girlfriend as they looked into each other's eyes. Fiona's eyes seemed to glisten with the light of the sun and Adam was practically lost in them until…

"Crap." Fiona furrowed her brow and sat back from the table.

"What's wrong?" Adam grabbed the napkin from the table and covered the back of his pants with it as he quickly escaped into the bathroom. He stopped as he stared at the two doors trying to decide quickly which one he should use. He usually felt more comfortable in the men's room, but what he needed was in the ladies' room. Adam glared harshly at the figure in a dress that marked the women's bathroom and barged in quickly.

He ran directly to the tampon dispenser and glared at the sign that read: "change only". He quickly shoved his hands into his pockets and only came up with twenty dollars and some pocket lint. He tapped his foot as he began debating the best solution. Paper towels and toilet tissue would never hold him for the rest of the day.

Adam reluctantly opened the bathroom door and peaked his head out.

"Psst." Fiona didn't hear him and continued to be distracted by the snow that was falling lightly outside. "Pssssst." She remained distracted, "PSSST!" Fiona's face became confused as she looked around to find the source of the noise. She did a double take once her eyes reached the bathroom doors and she scrunched her eyebrows even more at Adam. Adam waved her toward the bathroom, and Fiona glanced around before jumping up and joining him at the door.

"What are you doing?" She asked in a harsh whisper as she tried to stay collected.

"Um…" Adam's face turned bright red as he squeezed his eyes closed, praying that he would disappear. "I need a ta…." Fiona squinted her eyes and shook her head. Adam's voice had faded to a barely audible mumble and she couldn't hear the rest of his words.

"What?"

"A tamp.."

"Adam, I don't have time for silly games. _What_ are you talking about-"

"Tampon! I _need_ a tampon!" A waiter walking by with two hot mocha lattes paused at the bathroom doors, looked Adam up in down with a face of judgment and walked away swiftly. Fiona's mouth threatened to fall open and it did only slightly before she cleared her throat and began to dig in her purse.

"Here." She said with a soft voice. She may have sounded composed but her eyes were spastic.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Please." Fiona walked away slowly and plopped into her chair, her knees threatening to give out. Sometimes she forgot about Adam's dilemma and it always struck her when situations like these would bring it to the light. Adam returned a few moments later and sat down carefully in his seat.

"Sorry." He mumbled with a nervous smile "I didn't know it was…" Fiona looked up at him with wide eyes and Adam stopped his chatter. "I just…sorry." Fiona awkwardly adjusted herself in her seat and let out a sigh.

"So," she began with an unconvincing smile "what were you saying earlier…about open mic night here? Sounded fantastic." Adam nodded and cleared his throat loudly, waiting for the awkward feeling to dissipate from the air. His stomach began to churn uncomfortably and he stood up, desperately searching for the bathroom that he had dreaded the sight of earlier.

"Excuse me." Adam ran to the bathroom and closed the stall door at an attempt to shut out the rest of the world. He could feel the stall closing in on him as he began to sink to the bathroom tile floor. Things never seemed to go right for him. Once all of his secrets were out, he had to deal with all of the stigmas that went along with it. Sometimes honesty was even harder for him than telling a lie.

Adam heard the sound of heels clacking on the bathroom floor and he glanced underneath the door of the stall to see Fiona's familiar graceful glide.

"Adam?" she said sweetly as she lightly knocked on the door "Adam please." Adam reached up to unlock the door and scooted to the side to make room for Fiona. "Um…looks cozy." She said sarcastically as Adam looked up at her with tear filled eyes. He rolled his eyes at Fiona's odd sense of humor and pulled his legs to his chest. "May I join you?" she said awkwardly as she looked down at Adam. Adam nodded and surprisingly, Fiona lowered herself to the bathroom floor and sat directly across from him. "Good thing you chose the handicap stall…" Adam smirked and shook his head at her joke making.

"You're totally freaked." He accused.

"Yeah," she confessed with a heartfelt sigh, hanging her head out of disgrace "yeah I am." Adam nodded and seemed impressed by her honesty.

"Well so am I." Fiona looked up at him hopefully and let her foot lightly rest against his. "So," he said slowly as he relaxed against the bathroom wall "we can be freaked together?" Fiona smiled at him and let out a final sigh.

"Better than being freaked alone."


	54. An Almost Proposal

Zane reclined against the headboard of the bed as he changed the television stations without paying attention. He was becoming slightly annoyed with Riley before he made himself relax. Riley never made him wait this long. There must have been something wrong.

Zane adjusted his briefs and walked barefoot into the next room. He squinted his eyes as he saw Riley leaning on the railing of the balcony with his back to the glass sliding door. Zane smiled to himself as he stared at his boyfriend's gorgeous silhouette and gently pushed the door aside.

"It's getting kind of lonely in here." He said softly as he remained in the doorway. Riley didn't answer. He continued to stare off into the distance as Zane walked all the way outside, lightly shivering at the cold. Zane glanced over Riley's muscular back and rested his hands on Riley's waist. "I don't know what's more beautiful. You or the view." Zane whispered, smiling sweetly as he lightly kissed Riley's ear. Riley sniffled and adjusted himself so that his hands could cover his face. He didn't want Zane to see him crying. He had caused enough problems on the trip already. Zane heard Riley holding back tears and looked apologetic. "If it makes you feel any better I'd take you over the snow covered mountains any day." Riley shook his head and turned around, giving up on trying to seem brave. Zane saw the redness in Riley's eyes and the tear stains on his cheeks and rested his hands on Riley's arms.

"What's wrong?" He asked, trying to make eye contact with a stubborn Riley. Riley shook his head and blinked through tears. Zane's concern became increasingly obvious as his face showed all of his worry. "Whoa, whoa…." Zane said softly, as if he were trying to stop Riley's tears with his words "baby, what happened?" Zane was trying to hold back his own tears. He hated seeing Riley upset. If he could, he would take Riley's place in a heartbeat if it meant he didn't have to see him hurting. Riley sniffled again and tried to avoid Zane's concerned eyes.

"My mom…I just got off the phone with her." Zane waited for Riley to continue, afraid that if he rushed him it would upset him even more. Riley smirked sarcastically and began to speak again "looks like I'm an orphan now." Zane wrapped his arms around Riley and rested his lips on his shoulder. Riley felt the goose bumps on his boyfriend's skin and immediately became concerned.

"You cold?" Zane shivered and laughed lightly.

"Well, it _is_ thirty degrees out here." Riley reluctantly released Zane from his grip and let him open the doors to go inside. Riley followed Zane into the bedroom and sat on the bed, hunched over with a sad, pathetic look in his eyes. Zane looked around for his shirt before Riley grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the bed and rested his head on Zane's shoulder.

"I haven't been honest with you about some things." Zane grabbed Riley's hand and inhaled the clean smell of his hair.

"Like what?" Riley tried to stay calm but he immediately blurted out everything. He told Zane all about what happened with Mat at his hotel and the hospital, causing Zane to tense up at the thought. He then told him everything that had happened with his mom from the beginning and let out a deep sigh when his story was finished. Riley lifted his head from Zane's shoulder and was met by Zane's lips, which gave him a soft warm peck on the forehead. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" he asked Riley as he rested his forehead against his. Riley looked down at his hands and Zane's. His eyes fell over the ring on Zane's finger and his breathing became short.

"Anything?" he asked again, his voice lightly shaking.

"Yeah, go ahead." Riley swallowed and felt his mouth becoming dry. His hands became sweaty as he squeezed Zane's hands even tighter. "You okay?" Zane asked softly as he felt Riley's hands begin to shake.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." He answered as he lightly cleared his throat. "It's just…you still make me nervous sometimes." Riley glanced at Zane who was lightly blushing and smiling to himself with an amused smirk.

"Really?" He asked, slightly impressed with himself.

"Yeah," Riley said breathily, as he bit his lip out of embarrassment "_really_ really." Zane adjusted his hand in Riley's and let his knee rest against his boyfriend's. Riley pulled his hands away and covered his face. He was severely embarrassed about what he was about to admit.

"No, I can't" Zane began to smile again and he tugged at Riley's arms.

"Hey, come on." He urged. But Riley shook his head and let his hands fall to his sides again "I won't make fun, I promise." Riley looked at Zane's welcoming eyes and took a deep breath before speaking.

"I love you." He said softly as he raised his eyebrow "A _lot_." Zane shrugged and looked at Riley slightly confused.

"Yeah, I love you too."

"No," Riley said, trying not to seem anxious. "Like, I'm _madly_ in love with you." Zane squirmed on the bed as he nervously anticipated what his boyfriend was about to admit. Riley felt Zane's discomfort and tried a different approach. "Look, we always talk about how we want to stay together for a long time, right?" Zane nodded uneasily and eventually smiled. "Well, have you ever thought about…making it official?" Zane let out a nervous laugh and leaned back on his elbows.

"We are official. What are you talking about?" Riley mirrored Zane and leaned back on his elbows as well. He let his hand rest lightly on Zane's and touched the ring on his finger. They caught each other's eyes and exchanged a look of understanding, which caused Zane to sit upright. "Wait…are you talking about what I think…" Zane's voice trailed off as he saw the seriousness in Riley's eyes. "Riley…" he sighed.

"What?" Riley said becoming slightly defensive "we're always saying that we want to stay together as long as possible." Zane nodded and could see Riley's logic in this. They were always saying that they didn't want to break up, or be with anyone else. And they _were_ always making plans for the future, whether they were concrete or not. "What I was going to say was…I think about it all the time. Even when I'm not with you I'm always imagining what it would be like." Zane could feel his throat closing up: the first sign of tears. He didn't know if they were tears of regret, joy, fear or a mixture of all three. "Can I just ask you something?" Zane nodded slowly and forced out a 'yes' as Riley intertwined his fingers with his. "If I got down on my knees, right now, and asked…what would you say?" Zane huffed and rubbed the back of his neck before folding his hands in his lap with his elbows resting on his knees. Riley waited with a concerned look on his face, hoping that he didn't say too much.

"I'd say no." Zane said without much thought and a heartless shrug. Riley began to stand up and leave but Zane jumped up from the bed and grabbed Riley's arm forcing him to face him. He squeezed both of Riley's hands and stood close to him. "Not because I'm _not_ in love with you and not because it's totally unrealistic….just because now's not a good time. There are way too many things we need to work on." Riley shook his head and hung it in shame.

"I shouldn't have said anything. I knew you'd be weirded out." Zane looked at Riley with sympathy and made a last attempt to get him to understand where he was coming from.

"I think it's my turn to ask you something."

"Fine, shoot."

"If I were to ask you to marry me, right now, you wouldn't say yes would you?" Riley began to speak and than stopped himself before he either told the embarrassing truth or an unconvincing lie. When Zane saw the shame on Riley's face he immediately felt bad. He didn't know that Riley felt that strongly about being engaged. "Riley, it's not that far fetched. And I'll admit I have… _thought_ about it but we're young and seven months isn't long enough to start considering these things."

"Why is everything so technical with you?" Riley said with a scoff as he dropped Zane's hands. "If you keep thinking like that, there will never be a "good time" to do anything.

"Riley, right now, you need to relax and take your mind off of things. I know your having trouble with your mom but…that doesn't mean that you have to-"

"This has nothing to do with that. I've felt this way ever since I fell asleep next to you for the first time. This is about me and you. Nothing else." Zane tapped his foot to fill the short silence and looked Riley directly in the eyes. Riley was pleading Zane with his eyes. Not necessarily to say yes, but to at least consider it as a possibility.

"I'm sorry," Zane finally forced out solemnly as he began to walk away "but, the ring stays on my right hand for now."


	55. Back To School part 1

Riley walked leisurely down the Degrassi hallway with Anya by his side, smiling as he passed by all of his old friends. It was the first day back from winter break and he had to admit, he was relieved to see all of the familiar, unthreatening faces.

"So, how was your break?" Anya asked cheerily as she flashed her beautiful brace-less smile. Ever since Anya had gotten her braces off over the summer, she never stopped grinning.

"Awesome." Riley sighed as he thought retrospectively about the trip. He and Zane immediately put the entire "engagement talk" behind them and spent the last five days skiing, snowboarding and club hopping occasionally as long as they were keeping tabs on how much Riley had to drink. "Yours?"

"It was alright, I guess. My mom's radiation therapy is coming along really well." Riley nodded and immediately felt bad for her. Not only was Anya's mother sick but, by him and Zane going away, they left her with no one to hang out with. "Heather Poulette's my lab partner this month so we became fast friends," she said, practically reading Riley's mind "I wasn't completely lonely over the holidays." Riley nodded and his mouth spread into a huge grin.

"Well…I'm really happy for you. That's awesome."

"Yeah, I guess it is. So, you didn't think that you were gonna get away without giving me an update did you?" Riley smiled awkwardly and shook his head out of confusion.

"No?"

"About you and Zane silly!" She exclaimed as she lightly slapped riley's arm with the back of her hand "Last time we talked about that stuff you guys were just proclaiming your love." She said dramatically with a girlish giggle. Riley could feel himself blushing and he let out a loud sigh.

"Yeah, well. Things have definitely changed since then."

"Come on panther, no secrets here." Riley stopped walking and looked from side to side before lowering his voice.

"I'm moving in." Anya's smile faded to a look of utter shock and she pinched Riley's bicep harshly. "Ow! What the-"

"I can't _believe_ you were considering keeping this from me!"

"Sorry I-"

"When?" Riley winced and prepared for a punch in the arm this time as he relayed the news.

"Tonight." Anya's mouth dropped completely this time and she seemed to be looking for something to say. She ended up blinking madly and shrugging her shoulders.

"It's official." She said as she let her arms drop to her sides "I am the best matchmaker ever." Riley scoffed and smiled out of relief when Anya started joking.

"Hey, you didn't do all the work."

"I was the one who found out that he was gay. Plus I was practically your relationship counselor _all_ summer."

"Fine. So you did the research and you were moral support but I got the guy."

"Keep thinking it QB but if your relationship were a movie I would be the director."

"Associate producer…_maybe_." Anya laughed and let her hand brush Riley's shoulder as she walked away to join the power squad by the lockers. Riley smiled brightly and turned around to see Adam attempting to creep up on him.

"_Seriously_?" Adam said, his blue eyes dancing from excitement "I thought I would at least get you this time."

"And beat me at my own game? Get real." Riley threw out his hand and Adam grabbed it and pulled him into a one armed hug.

"I missed you, asshole. Way to leave me stranded all break."

"Well I didn't exactly leave you stranded." Riley said looking toward the glass atrium where Fiona was seated. Riley caught her eye and she looked over at both of them and waved sweetly, smiling with a glint in her eyes when she looked at Adam. Adam smiled gallantly at Riley and sighed.

"Yeah, I was in pretty good company." Adam began to get lost in his thoughts before he shook his head and returned to the conversation "As were you. How's Zane?" Riley sighed and looked off into the distance.

"Fine…" Riley smiled to himself dreamily and Adam raised an eyebrow.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Looks like the high altitudes made you light headed Adam shook his head before patting Riley on the shoulder. "Okay well, I'm gonna…" he nodded toward Fiona and didn't bother to finish his sentence."

"Right yeah, catch you later." Riley leaned his back against the lockers and shuffled his feet out of boredom, waiting for someone else he knew to walk by. Riley looked through the windows on the side of the building and could see Zane locking his car and walking to the front door. He stayed where he was and waited for Zane to see him as not to seem too anxious. Zane smiled and made a b-line to Riley, occasionally getting stopped by numerous people that he barely knew on the way. Saying hi, asking him how his break was, telling him that they liked his jacket; the usual. Riley tapped his foot impatiently and took a few steps forward, trying to minimize the distance that separated him from his boyfriend.

"Hey," Zane said softly when he was a couple of feet away "back to the daily grind, eh?" Riley sighed and smiled warmly.

"Yep, hard to believe we were still in the mountains a couple of days ago."

"Yeah I know. It's also hard to believe that you were so wasted a couple of days ago but hey, look at you now. You're a regular success story." Riley put his finger up to his lips and shushed Zane jokingly at the mention of their last night at Whistler. Neither of them had ever had a new years so eventful. Riley let their laughter fade before continuing.

"You know what else is kinda crazy?" Zane shrugged as if he were oblivious and bit his lip to hide a smile.

"What?" Riley looked at Zane, and leaned in closer.

"That the Park household's getting a new edition." Zane seemed shocked for a moment and began to walk toward the atrium.

"What, like a puppy?"

"Better." Zane scoffed and pretended to be unconvinced.

"…What could be better than a puppy?"

"Someone that's as cute as one that you don't have to clean up after."

"Oh, and what if I wanted to put you on a leash?"

"As long as you promised to scratch behind my ears." Zane smiled and stepped closer to Riley, grabbing Riley's strong arm with a warm hand.

"Mm… I could think of better places to scratch."

"Woof." Riley looked at Zane as he became increasingly close and smiled.

"Okay seriously," Riley and Zane turned to see Drew, who had been standing there long enough to hear the majority of their odd conversation. "You two have the weirdest relationship ever. Keep the creepy couple banter to yourselves so you don't scare the crap out of the rest of us." Drew looked exasperated and walked away quickly to go to his next class and Zane leaned against the lockers and smirked at Riley.

"He's right you know." Zane said with a mocking smile "You are pretty weird." Riley looked at Zane and shook his head before making direct eye contact "but I think I'll keep you."

"Lucky Me." Riley's tone didn't seem sarcastic, because he wasn't at all. He meant every word he said. Zane heard the sincerity of Riley's words and smiled to himself, biting his lip as he glanced back in forth in the hallway to see if anyone was watching. He pushed off of the row of lockers and stood in front of Riley. He glanced up at Riley's mass of curly hair and smiled to himself as he began to put the stray curls back in place. Riley stared at Zane's smile, completely enchanted by it's brilliance and glanced over the rest of his face as if he were seeing how beautiful his boyfriend was for the first time.

"You have the most beautiful eyes," Zane said, his hand now resting on Riley's arm "you know that?" Riley felt a shiver go down his spine as Zane's eyes stared directly into his.

"No…I-I don't know." Riley blushed severely at how obviously flustered he became when Zane looked at him. Sometimes he was ashamed by the fact that he was still head over heels after seven months. Zane smiled as well and laughed lightly under his breath.

"Yeah you do. I tell you that all the time." Riley grinned even wider and looked down at his feet, unsure how to respond. Zane smirked at his boyfriend's bashfulness and glanced back at the atrium where all of their friends were waiting. "Come on." Zane reached out for Riley's hand and led him into the glass-enclosed room. Riley smiled as Fiona, Adam and Holly J stopped working to greet them. Fiona was sitting Indian style and uncrossed her legs when Riley and Zane entered. She practically hopped to their sides and wrapped one arm around each of their necks, pulling them closer to her.

"I've missed you two." She sighed as she rested her head on Zane's shoulder. Fiona released their necks and stood in front of them, her hand holding one of theirs. "I wasn't sure that you guys would come back in time." Zane shook his head and nodded politely at Holly J who smiled tightly and waved back. He took a seat next to Adam who immediately started telling him about the past couple of weeks.

"We were in BC Fiona," Riley began sarcastically as he lay his bag on the ground and sat down next to her "not Iraq." Fiona rolled her eyes and turned her knees toward Riley.

"Well it sure _felt_ like you were. I mean," Fiona practically lowered her voice to a whisper and looked Riley directly in the eyes "you two didn't even call. I didn't even know you were gone." Riley shrugged and shifted in his seat as he began to search his bag for his calculus homework.

"Sorry." He said with a shrug. Fiona nodded, unsatisfied and her face lit up at a thought.

"So how was it? Any new relationship milestones I need to know about?"

"Wow, I've been asked that question twice today and I've been here for all of thirteen minutes." Fiona cut her eyes to the side, a sign of annoyance and condescendence, and smirked.

"It's cause people care about you silly." Riley smirked to himself and thought about Fiona's words. It was nice to hear that people still cared every once and a while.

"Yeah, yeah I guess." Fiona saw Riley smiling and rested her chin in her hands as she smiled back.

"So then, tell us what's going on." Riley inhaled and began to blush as he prepared to give the news once again.


	56. Back To School part 2

"I'm moving in. Probably until we graduate." He waited anxiously as Fiona paused. He could see the blood rushing to her cheeks and a loud squeal soon followed.

"Oh my god!" The entire room seemed to jump at Fiona's shrill screech and they all looked at her critically.

"_Fiona_," Holly said harshly yet quietly, trying to restore the silence to the room "what's your deal?" Fiona covered her mouth graciously and looked around the room with a twinkle in her eyes. She turned her attention to Riley again and began to shake her head profusely.

"Sorry, I'm just…" Holly raised an eyebrow, waiting for Fiona to reply and Fiona continued to smile widely. She looked toward Riley and pleaded with her eyes. Riley glanced nervously from side to side and shook his head, warning her not to spill. "…releasing my post-break jitters. Time to settle down and crack open the books." Fiona tensed, trying not to say anything about the news she had just heard. Whenever she heard any type of good news or hot gossip, she never kept it to herself. She couldn't believe that Riley actually expected to keep this from her best friend _and _her boyfriend.

"You look constipated." Adam said with an uncomfortable glare as she pressed her lips together out of restraint. Zane looked at Riley out of confusion and smiled awkwardly as he sat down on the left side of Holly.

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, yeah." Holly scoffed and Adam shook his head out of amusement before they returned to their work. Riley sat next to Zane so that he could get help with his calculus homework and Fiona stayed where she was, tapping her foot anxiously.

"Did anyone else see Heather's outfit today?" Adam said with a smirk as he flipped through the pages of his new comic. Fiona smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, can someone say train wreck?" They both laughed and Riley looked up at them with a nonchalant expression and shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know. I kinda liked her shoes." Adam bit his lip to keep from laughing and rested his elbows on his knees.

"Jeez Riley, do you think you could dwindle your flame cause it's blindingly bright at the moment." Zane snickered and Riley's mouth fell open as he playfully threw his pencil in Adam's direction. Adam skillfully caught the pencil with one hand and raised an eyebrow as if challenging Riley. Riley looked impressed and put his hands up out of surrender. Once the boys returned to their homework the room settled into a comfortable silence before Anya entered, practically bursting through the door.

"I did it! I got in!" The group of five looked up from their books and stared at Anya clueless. "University of Toronto? I got early acceptance!" Everyone in the room started to commend Anya on her success and she gleamed blissfully.

"That's awesome Anya," Zane exclaimed with his mega watt smile "That's one of the best schools in the country."

"Yeah and I get to stay close to home which is perfect. I'll be close to my mom instead of having to leave town and worrying about her being in and out of the hospital. God, today's just been full of awesome news. First Riley and Zane are moving in together and now this. Could today get _any_ better?" The room fell into an awkward silence and Riley could feel himself beginning to blush. He looked over at Zane who was blushing even more.

"Whew," Fiona said breathily as she relaxed her shoulders and her foot tapping ceased "Thank God. Didn't think I'd be able to hold _that_ one in all day."

"You two are shacking up?" Adam asked sounding more irritated than ecstatic. Zane nodded, causing Adam to raise his eyebrow and say sarcastically: "Great. I'm happy for you." Fiona flashed Adam a dirty look and didn't look away until she could see that he felt remorseful for what he had said. Holly looked slightly uncomfortable and began to pack her things.

"I could go," she said accommodatingly "if you want."

"No," Fiona begged as the air became increasingly awkward. Adam cleared his throat and began to stand up. He walked toward the door and turned around before he left.

"Congratulations. Really I…it's great." Adam left and they all watched the door close slowly as he walked to his next class. Fiona shook her head out of disappointment and flashed a sorry look toward Riley and Zane.

"So," Anya began as she sat in Adam's spot "how do your parents feel about all of this?"

"Well obviously mine are cool with it." Zane answered.

"That's actually the reason I'm staying there. My mom isn't exactly okay with everything." Anya nodded at Riley's confession and apologized for asking. "No, no it's fine." He reassured. Fiona's foot tapping began again and she seemed to tense up, obviously trying not to say something.

"Let it out Fiona!" Holly exclaimed, becoming impatient at her friend's annoying habits.

"Okay," Fiona began, letting out another breath "I have to ask you guys something." Zane nodded, urging her to continue and she scooted forward in her seat "Are your parents letting you stay in the same room?" Riley and Zane looked at each other and raised their eyebrows. Zane then let out a deep chuckle and nodded his head.

"Yeah."

Anya looked surprised and cut in: "Wait, are you sharing a bed?"she asked, causing Riley to squirm in place.

"Anya," he pressed, trying to get her to retract the embarrassing question.

"Well I mean; I figured that you guys were…y'know. But I didn't know Zane's parents were okay with it."

"Well, Riley usually sleeps in my room when he stays over," Zane explained as he looked up from his math book "my parents weren't born yesterday they know we're not up playing Yahtzee all night."

"Wow," Holly said, looking at her watch "Not that I don't love Yahtzee but, I'm gonna be super late for media emersion." She stood up quickly and adjusted her skirt before strutting toward the door.

"Bye hun" said Fiona, accompanied with other goodbyes from the people in the room. Holly turned around at the doorway before she left and looked toward Riley and Zane.

"And congratulations you two." She directed her attention directly at Riley and looked at him with compassion "Think of yourself as lucky. You have a new family now. And, hopefully someday your parents will come around and you'll have two." Riley nodded and tried to refrain from tearing up. He had known Holly since middle school and in all of those years she rarely said anything sweet to him. Holly began to feel uncomfortable with her sympathetic words and retreated out of the door. "See you later." Anya's eyes widened and she looked between Zane, Riley and Fiona repeatedly.

"Boy has that girl ever changed." She said in shock.

"Yep," Fiona answered proudly "she's come a long way."

"Send your brother our thanks," Anya began "looks like he tamed the beast." Fiona smirked but her smile faded as she looked hopefully at Anya.

"Do you think that you two can try being friends again?" Anya shrugged and was surprised at herself as a smile threatened her lips.

"I guess we'll just have to see." Fiona nodded and threw her designer handbag over her shoulder as she lingered by the door.

"Well, I guess I'll see you guys after class." Fiona left and the three friends smiled to themselves, each looking in different directions and lost in thought. Anya was the first one to come to, and she glanced across the room at Riley and Zane.

"Wow, looks like we're the three musketeers again." Zane and Riley nodded as if they were in sync and Anya couldn't help but laugh.

"Yep," Riley said cheerfully as he nudged Zane's knee with his "just like it used to be." Zane smiled but it turned to a frown as he looked at his boyfriend and one of his best friends.

"Hard to believe we only have six months left. Y'know before we all move on to greater things." He said somberly as he raised a sad eyebrow at Anya.

"Well," Riley cut in as he looked at Zane "moving on from _some_ things." Zane smiled at him and gave him a peck on the lips as reassurance and motioned for Anya to sit beside him. Anya lazily scooted across the floor to Zane's side, causing all of them to laugh.

"It's so cool, knowing that we'll all leave here with something to take with us." Anya said with a sad smile. " Riley's come so far, it's hard to believe that we went out on a date a little less than a year ago."

"Yeah, let's try to forget about that, shall we?" Riley said.

"Oh come on! That was one for the books. Plus, our date really helped you figure things out."

"Wait-" Zane cut in with an amused smirk "_you_ two went out?"

"Yep, I don't believe it either." Anya said jokingly.

"Wow, still have a lot of things to learn about you two."

"Well we have plenty of time for that." Anya said with a smile as she glanced at her phone "But…not now. I should have been in History five minutes ago." She hopped up from her seat, grabbed her green bag and ran for the door. "Gotta jet!" Riley and Zane smiled after her and exchanged amused glances.

"How are you feeling about all of this?" Zane asked as he nudged Riley with his elbow.

"About today? Moving in and everything?" Zane nodded and moved away from Riley so that they could look at each other "Fine. Nervous, but in a good way."

"Nervous about what?"

"Your dad." Riley said blatantly. Zane sighed and squeezed Riley's hand with his.

"He'll love you. I promise."

"Then why did you wait so long to introduce us?"

"It's not you it's…it's him. He's not easy to get along with." Riley nodded and immediately felt sorry for making Zane feel bad. He squeezed Zane's hand in return and shrugged.

"Well I'll deal. If you put up with me all this time, I'm sure your dad won't be a problem." Zane looked at Riley lovingly and sighed. Sometimes, Riley said all the right things without even knowing it.

"My mom was right," Zane said as he rested his head on Riley's shoulder "I got lucky with you." Riley raised his eyebrow and laughed.

"Your _mom_ said that? About me?"

"She really likes you, you know."

"Huh." Riley said in thought "I never would of known. Try not to keep things like that a secret next time." Zane laughed and sat up, hugging his knees to his chest.

"Got it, got it."

"Speaking of secrets, you haven't been telling me anything about college. Have you heard anything yet?"

"Not yet, it may be a little while before I hear anything at all." Riley sighed and looked down at his feet silently. "Why are you so worried about that?"

"I just…I don't wanna have to give you up." Zane could feel his heart strings being pulled as Riley looked at him with his puppy dog eyes. He rested comfortable into Riley's side and Riley put his arm around him, holding him tighter than usual.

"Then don't."


	57. First Night Home

"How'd your history test go?" Zane asked as he pulled out of the Degrassi parking lot and onto the main street.

"Brutal," Riley responded with an unsatisfied smirk "if I can't keep my grades up, I'm gonna lose my scholarship." Zane glanced at his boyfriend and shrugged.

"So, I'll tutor you." Riley laughed at the thought of the last time Zane had offered to 'tutor" him and he began to blush.

"Not that you aren't brilliant but, last time you tutored me, we didn't get any work done."

"I personally thought that my lesson on the human anatomy was fascinating." Riley let out a laugh and shook his head.

"Mmm fascinating wasn't really the word." They both laughed and settled into a comfortable silence before Zane looked toward Riley and asked:

"You excited?"

"About moving in? Yeah. Ecstatic."

"Might as well tell you the house rules. First thing, the trash has to go out every Monday night so, we'll switch shifts?" Riley nodded and gave Zane a leisurely shrug

"Sounds easy enough. What else?"

"Whoever eats cleans after whoever cooks..."

"Okay, got it."

"And to keep the water bill from getting too high we should probably start showering together." Riley raised his eyebrows at his boyfriend's humor and stared at him sleazily.

"Well in that case uh, I'm feeling kind of dirty." Zane laughed and shook his head, almost regretting cracking the joke.

"Later. I have some history studying to catch up on and _you_ still have to get settled in."

Zane pulled into the lot and Riley practically jumped from the front seat and ran to the door. Once he reached Zane's apartment he searched his pockets for a moment before placing his hand on the key. Zane stood quietly behind him as he watched Riley open the door with a great look of excitement on his face. When Riley walked in he noticed that the apartment seemed different. As he stood in the living room soaking in every bit of his new home, Zane came up behind him and put an arm around his shoulder.

"Welcome home." He said into his boyfriend's ear. Riley smiled to himself and looked at Zane with a raised eyebrow.

"You know what we have to do now, right?" Zane shrugged and poked out his lip, completely oblivious.

"No, what?" Riley smiled deviously and nodded,

"Christen it." Riley walked toward Zane with a hungry look in his eyes as Zane put his hands up and began to retreat.

"I think my bed's been christened enough."

"Who said anything about a bed?" Zane laughed and kissed Riley briefly before grabbing one of Riley's bags and tossing it to him.

"Here, let's put your things away."

"Fine." He said with a sigh. Riley hunched over and shuffled into Zane's room before throwing his bag to the floor and beginning to unpack. Riley glanced over at Zane as he took off his shoes and sat on the bed. Zane grabbed his glasses from the nightstand and put them on with a raise of his eyebrows causing Riley to sigh at the sight.

Zane had his books supported on one knee as he leaned against the headboard, looking over his history notes madly. He had always been a great student. And every time he went to take a test he realized that he had over studied. However he felt that it was necessary. He wasn't sure about university yet and he was determined to keep his grades solid.

Zane felt the bed shift underneath him and soon felt Riley's strong hands massaging his bare feet. He glanced over his books for a second before returning his attention to the text.

"Riley stop, that tickles." He warned, hiding his smile with his books.

"But, I love your feet." Riley mumbled as he began to kiss Zane's foot and toes. Zane raised an eyebrow and put his notebook to the side.

"Don't tell me you have a fetish now."

"You're my fetish," Riley said as he began to trail kisses up Zane's leg. Zane rolled his eyes and tried to pay attention to his reading, but as Riley's mouth came closer and closer to his crotch, he began to read the same sentence over and over again.

"Riley…" Zane warned as his boyfriend kissed his crotch through his jeans. Riley smiled and leaned up to passionately kiss Zane's neck, causing Zane's legs to go weak. "Riley stop."

"Am I turning you on?"

"No." Zane lied as he gently pushed Riley away and crossed his legs for protection. "My parents could be home any minute."

"So? Your mom knows we're active. No big deal."

"Okay but she doesn't need to hear or see our activity."

"But it's my first night living here. Celebration sex is required."

"Not this time." Riley hung his head in defeat before raising an eyebrow and smiling.

"Blowjobs?"

"Nope."

"Can we make-out at least?" Riley asked, whining as if he were three years old. Zane glanced at the clock and then back at Riley's pleading eyes. Then he looked out of the window that faced the parking lot and back at Riley again. "Please?" Riley knew that he was irresistible to Zane when he pleaded so he continued. "You _know_ you look sexy when you're studious." Riley bit his lip and raised his eyebrows, looking extremely desperate. And with that, Zane caved. He threw his glasses off and carelessly pushed all of his books to the floor in one sweep.

"Okay, come here." Riley grinned and giggled as he grabbed Zane by the legs and pulled him across the bed. Zane laughed as well and grabbed Riley's shirt, pulling him on top of him. Neither of them ever admitted it, but kissing each other was almost just as satisfying as having sex (satisfying in a completely different way of course). They were both hopeless romantics, and any intimate moments that involved smiling and staring into each other's eyes were enjoyable for both of them.

Zane kissed Riley slowly and tried to hold back a smile as Riley's tongue softly touched his. It had been a while since they had kissed this intensely and Zane had almost forgotten how great of a kisser Riley was. Riley lightly bit Zane's bottom lip before pulling away to strip off his own shirt. Zane smiled and pulled Riley to him again as the front door knob began to rattle.

"Your mom's home." Riley said with an aggravated sigh as he began to climb off of Zane. Zane grabbed Riley's arm and pulled his face back towards his.

"It's okay." Riley shook his head and smiled as he pressed his body against Zane's again. His mind was completely lost in the thought of his boyfriend's warm lips. Neither of them heard the footsteps in he hall growing closer.

"Boys!" Zane's mom called as she knocked on the door and opened it simultaneously. She walked in without looking but stopped when she saw Riley and Zane sprawled across the bed. Her eyes narrowed and she let out an exasperated sigh but she didn't seem the least bit shocked by the sight.

"Mom, you can't knock and open the door at the same time," Zane groaned as his mother searched the floor for Riley's shirt "it defeats the purpose."

"Do you really think you should be chastising _me_ right now?" Zane rolled his eyes and Riley rolled off of him to catch his shirt, which was flying toward him. "Pull yourselves together and meet us in the living room." Riley struggled to pull his shirt over his head as quickly as possible and almost fell off the bed in doing so. Mrs. Park shook her head judgingly and whispered to Zane in a hushed tone: "Your father's home."


	58. Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?

"So, Riley" Mrs. Park said sweetly as she began walking around the table, setting plates in front of each of them "I hear you're going to Eastern with a _scholarship_." Zane could hear how his mother stressed the word 'scholarship' causing him to smirk. It was obvious that she was trying to impress his father with Riley's accomplishments.

"Uh, yeah. I got lucky," He answered humbly.

"Scholarship for what?" Riley looked nervously at Mr. Park who sat in an intimidating manner at the end of the table. He had seen Mr. Park in passing: in the parking lot, coming in and out of the door; he'd even seen him sitting at the table eating breakfast one morning. They'd exchanged some hellos and nods but they had never stopped to introduce themselves.

Riley's eyes fell on Mr. Park's dark blue polo shirt then trailed up to his clean-shaven face. He then stared at his rectangular, four hundred dollar Armani glasses and stopped at his black, slicked back hair. Even though Zane looked most like his mother, he and his dad had a lot of the same mannerisms and Riley couldn't help but find himself being slightly attracted to him.

"Jesus Christ," Mr. Park said when Riley didn't answer, "am I speaking another language here?" Zane stopped eating and looked uneasily between his dad and Riley. He flashed his mother a panicked look and she shrugged nervously.

"No sir."

"Do you mind answering my question?"

"F-football." Mr. Park raised his eyebrow as if he were unimpressed and chuckled to himself as he chewed obnoxiously.

"Figures." The table was silent except for the occasional clanking of silverware. Zane shifted in his seat uncomfortably and noticed that Riley had stopped eating completely. Riley leaned over to whisper to Zane in the silence, careful that Mr. Park wouldn't hear.

"I thought you said he would love me." He whispered harshly. Zane made no eye contact and shrugged nonchalantly.

"Eventually." A long, exclusive conversation between Zane's mother and father followed before Zane finally cut in. "Dad."

"Mhm…"

"How long are you planning on being home?" Mr. Park scratched behind his ear then removed his glasses and sat them on the table.

"Well, our next project is in Toronto so, I would estimate a few months." Zane's father was a traveling architect and very successful in his business. However the jobs that offered the most money were often out of town. It was rare that he was home for more than a couple of weeks at a time. "May even get to see you graduate."

"Really?" Zane asked out of both excitement and nervousness.

"Really." Mr. Park looked toward Riley and smirked "Lucky you, eh?" Riley played with his fork and pushed his food around his plate, trying to avoid any eye contact with Zane's father if possible. "Okay kid so tell me, you play football and what else?" Riley furrowed his brow in confusion and shrugged a shoulder.

"That's it."

"_No_, no. I mean what else are you good at; math, history, writing?"

"Uh," The answer to that question was none of those, but Riley didn't want to admit it "I'm good at science I guess."

"Oh really?" Mr. Park asked, sincerely intrigued for the first time that night, "Tell me something I may not know." Riley paused and glanced down at his plate, hiding his flushed face, and back up at Mr. Park who was sitting there expectantly. Riley continued to think, but he couldn't come up with anything that had to do with science except for how to use a Bunsen burner. Mr. Park had him completely flustered.

"Do you get sacked often, Riley?" asked, breaking the silence.

"Pardon?"

"Sacked. Blitzed. _Tackled_. You're a quarter back right?"

"Yeah."

"Well… answer the question."

"Sometimes-"

"You ever get a concussion, Riley? Post concussion syndrome can lead to fatigue, headaches…" Mr. Park stopped counting on his fingers and looked Riley in the eyes "_slow_ memory." The room was silent again and Riley was ready to run to the door and give up living there for good. Sleeping in the snow would be better than this. "Do you want to know what my favorite sport is?" Riley shrugged at Mr. Park and nodded his head.

"Yeah sure."

"Soccer. Now that's the _original_ football. Have you ever played?"

"When I was like, six." Mr. Park shook his head and a smile spread across his face.

"You should have seen Matheus play. He was brilliant. I mean absolutely _phenomenal_. It was like I was seeing myself out there. He plays soccer like I sketch my plans: attentive, diligent but almost _feeling_ more than he's thinking. You know what I'm saying?"

"Yeah I actually-"

"How is Mat anyway, Zane?" At this point, Zane had his head in his hands and looked as if he were about to break out into a sweat.

"I-I dunno."

"Been a while since I've seen the kid. Now _he_ has a bright future: athletic _and_ intelligent. He's a math major you know." Riley was debating whether or not he should excuse himself. He was afraid that if he had to listen to this much longer, he might lunge across the table and strangle Mr. Park with his bare hands.

"Mat had a lot of issues he needed to take care of." Mrs. Park interjected, flashing a sympathetic look toward Riley "It's quite tragic he had so much potential."

"And he still does! I don't know what you all are talking about with these- these 'issues' the boy was fine. I certainly was around him enough to know that you two are too sensitive." responded, nodding toward Zane and his mother.

"You're impossible" Mrs. Park said under her breath as she stabbed at her food with her fork.

"_Excuse_ me?"

"You heard me." Mrs. Park was completely angry and embarrassed and her light brown eyes narrowed as she began to lean into the table. "He treated our son with complete disrespect and I hate that man with everything I have, yet you insist on defending him!"

"Calm down Kara."

"Wake _up_ Zander." Mr. Park sat back in his chair and narrowed his eyes, mirroring his wife. The room fell silent once more and neither of them moved. "He was abusive. Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"Boys will be boys." Mrs. Park scoffed and said the Lord's name under her breath, praying for self-control. "Males are dominant by nature." Mr. Park said with a shrug as he sipped from his beer bottle. His voice then continued to elevate with every word he spoke "Zane knew that when he decided that he wanted to be gay. He-he fucking signed up for it when he started dating him! The kid wasn't crazy the relationship was."

"The 'kid," Mrs. Park spat mockingly "the 'boy', you're always treating him like he's some toddler you need to defend. Mat is a man. He's damn near twenty-one years old. And that's another thing. Not only is this kid rough and- and psychotic but he's two, three years older than my son. Do you know how I felt when Zane, a seventeen year old boy, was with a man who was going into his twenties in six months?"

"I'm fifty-eight and you tell me now that _you_ have a problem with people dating older men? Like mother like son." Zane was now livid, he was used to his parents arguing over things like this, but he didn't even want to think how this was affecting Riley. Zane knew that he had to stop this, even if it meant doing something out of character.

"You know what, It makes sense that you like Mat so much because you two have so much in common." Riley glanced over at Zane who was completely red. His face had taken on an expression of anger that Riley had never seen before and to be honest, it was extremely intimidating. "You're both assholes." Zane's chair screeched loudly as he stood up, causing the sound to echo off of the high ceiling. Riley glanced at Mrs. Park who nodded in approval and he stood up as well, throwing the napkin that occupied his lap into the middle of the table. Mr. Park pushed away from the table and turned toward Zane.

"This is my house. You leave the table when you're dismissed. Sit down." Zane shook his head at his father in disbelief and narrowed his eyes. There was a long moment where they just stared at each other. Riley realized how loudly they were all speaking when he felt his ears ringing as a result of the silence. Zane's grip on his bedroom doorknob tightened and he wasn't sure if he should say what he was feeling. But all his life he practiced restraint, and he was tired of his dad's dominant, narcissistic attitude. He held his gaze and found himself getting angrier, and soon enough he didn't care what his father, his mother and anyone had to think about him.

"Go to hell." He said slowly as he slammed the door behind him and Riley. His head immediately began to spin as he thought about what he had just done, but also realized at that moment that he had no regrets.


	59. Proclamation

Zane walked out of the bathroom in a tank and his underwear as Riley sat on the bed wearing the same, searching through his science textbook. He slapped his hand to his forehead when he was suddenly able to remember everything he had forgotten at dinner. Zane looked at his boyfriend and sighed, about to open his mouth to speak.

"It's okay." Riley said before Zane could get a word out "You apologized like, thirty times already." Zane let his shoulders relax and he shook his head somberly.

"You're not pissed at me?" Riley looked into Zane's eyes and smiled sweetly.

"It's not your fault. You didn't even have to stand up for me."

"Really, Riley I'm-I'm so sorry-"

"Zane," Riley interrupted, softening his expression "please." Zane nodded remorsefully and waited for Riley to turn his attention back to his science textbook before he walked over to his dresser to review his schoolwork. He put on his glasses that were sitting on the nightstand and chewed on his lip as he stood reading over a piece of paper. Riley raised an eyebrow as he glared at Zane's physique and stature, remembering how he used to look at him when they first started going out. How he admired how attractive he was but had too much respect for him (and self-doubt) to make a move.

"Riley."

"Huh?" Riley quickly looked up at Zane's face and noticed that Zane was completely buried in his schoolwork. Zane nodded toward the television and glanced over at Riley briefly.

"Can you turn that down please?" Riley pulled his eyes away and reached for the remote on the nightstand. Meanwhile his eyes returned to Zane, who now had his elbows resting on the dresser top as he continued to read. Zane glanced back at Riley and caught him staring at him, cocking his head to the side out of curiosity. "What?"

"Nothing it's just…." Riley shook his head and tried to find the words to describe how effortlessly sexy Zane looked "you look-"

"Ridiculous?" Zane said with a shy laugh as he tussled his slightly damp hair "I know." Riley raised his eyebrows and shook his head as he looked Zane up and down.

"No, not at all."

"Then…what?"

"Perfect." Riley answered as if it were a simple fact. Zane looked back at Riley doubtfully but gave him a half smile before looking back at his paper.

"Thanks." He answered, trying to hide his blushing face and the growing weakness in his legs. Riley sighed, figuring that Zane wasn't in the mood for that type of banter and began to chew on the eraser of his pencil. But when he looked up again he saw Zane standing over him. Zane moved Riley's book from his lap and crawled over him so that he could lie on his stomach on the other side of the bed. He saw Riley glance over at him and he ran his hand over Riley's torso, leaning toward his ear to whisper:

"Wanna fool around?" Riley tried to ignore how Zane's lips softly grazed his ear and gathered the control to throw his legs over the side of the bed and stand up.

"No thanks," he said with a light crack in his voice as he stretched his arms above his head "I'm uh, gettin' kind of tired." Zane looked defeated at first but then raised a joking eyebrow at Riley. It was clear that he was just trying to give Zane a taste of his own medicine.

"Oh, really?" Zane asked as he rolled over onto his back and put his arms behind his head.

"Yep, really."

"Cause I'm wide awake." Riley turned his back to Zane and began to sort his things in another drawer as he smiled a smugly "I think I might even be able to stay up all night." Riley stopped folding and turned his head only slightly so that Zane could see one eyebrow rise.

"_All_ night?"

"Yep." Riley smiled and began to turn around just in time to see Zane stand up from the bed and take his shirt off. Riley dropped the clothes from his hands and walked toward Zane only to be stopped by his boyfriend's strong hand "But since you're tired," he said as he gave Riley a friendly, nonchalant pat on the shoulder "I'll uh, let you get back to whatever you're doing." Zane smiled jokingly as he began walking backward toward the bed. Riley smiled and paused before forcefully tackling Zane to the bed, causing them both to laugh. They both grunted and giggled as they pushed against each other's strength. Riley thought he had the upper hand but Zane skillfully flipped him onto his back and pinned Riley down with his hands on his chest, lustfully giving Riley's pecs a squeeze as he smiled at him sleazily. Riley looked up at Zane and chuckled to himself, remembering the time when interactions like this were only possible in his mind. "What?" Zane asked as he laughed in return.

"It's just… funny that only a few months ago I was only dreaming about stuff like this." Zane smiled and raised an eyebrow at Riley's confession.

"Sweet, you dreamt about me?" Riley turned red and let his hands fall from Zane's waist to his own sides.

"Maybe a little…" _or a lot _he thought to himself. Zane turned down the corners of his mouth down of amusement and looked Riley in the eye.

"When you say _dream_ do you mean-"

"_Zane_." Riley looked away and tried to hide how red his face was getting as Zane smiled to himself letting one of his hands push away the mass of curls that was practically covering Riley's eyes.

"It's alright-"

"No it's, embarrassing." Zane climbed off of Riley and returned to his spot next to him. After a long minute, Riley turned to face him again. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah."

"What were you thinking when you first met me?" Zane twisted his lips in thought and shrugged.

"I thought you were alright." Zane said jokingly causing Riley to push him in the shoulder.

"'Alright'?" Zane laughed at his boyfriend's disapproving face and smiled before continuing.

"Riley I'm kidding, you know I was attracted to you I told you that already." Riley gave a falsely vain shrug and ran his hand through his hair.

"I know I just, like hearing the compliment." Zane shook his head and Riley smiled "But really?"

"Well you were friendly enough…."

"But?"

" But, you pretty much acted like any other typical high school jock." Riley nodded in retrospect and began to move his fingers lightly over Zane's shoulders.

"Sorry about that." Zane shrugged and continued.

"It's okay, I knew you weren't."

"Guess I wasn't as convincing as I thought." Zane laughed and said no and Riley began to laugh as well.

"Remember when we got partnered up in yoga class?" Zane asked, his eyes catching the light as he thought back to last year.

"Do I ever." Riley remembered when the instructor told the class to partner up with whomever was next to them to work on form. Anya wasn't there, so Riley and Zane ended up being partners.

"Well, that was when I knew." Zane said in a prideful manner with a sly smile.

"Knew what? That I was gay?"

"Well, that. And that you were kinda into me."

"No," Riley said out of disbelief with a challenging smile on his face "how?"

"Are you kidding? Riley, you were practically drooling when I asked you to help me stretch."

"Dude, I wasn't!" Riley paused to look at Zane for a moment and then rolled his eyes out of admittance "Okay so I was but _you_ were the one who was all:" Riley mockingly put his leg in the air the way Zane had that day and made an overly flirtatious face "'can you push my leg toward my head it helps me stretch my hamstrings'" Zane scoffed and shoved Riley's shoulder.

"I didn't say it like that, man."

"You did! Admit it." Riley laughed at himself and remembered how he pushed Zane's leg back lightly. Zane had smiled at him condescendingly and jokingly told Riley that he wasn't going to break him. Riley then pushed Zane's leg back further, his eyes widening at his flexibility.

Riley blushed and put his hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. "Okay besides that, how else did you know?" Zane shrugged and sighed as he thought back.

"Well, I started to notice that you wouldn't leave class until I did." Riley nodded almost regrettably because he had made his crush so obvious. But realized that if it weren't for that, he and Zane may not be together now. "You'd always make sure you got the mat next to me," Zane paused to make sure he and Riley made eye contact before he continued, "and you'd act like football Riley when people were watching but whenever we talked you'd be really…"

"Stupid? Lame? Mojo-less?" Zane furrowed his brow and they both ended up laughing at Riley's word choice before stopping to stare at each other's smiles. "Cause, I still get that way around you sometimes." Zane wanted more than anything to nod and say 'me too' but it was something that was hard to admit. Although Zane was usually seen as being the more mature out of the two and Riley was seen as his hopelessly whipped other half, Zane was just as 'whipped' if not more so. Zane knew that no matter what stupid thing Riley did next, he would always open his arms to him again and go on as if not much had happened.

Riley took Zane's silence as an invitation and rolled on top of him, both of them smiling widely as they leaned in to kiss.

Zane let out a heated breath and ran his hand through Riley's thick, curly hair as he began to kiss him passionately. They each began to grab at each other's clothes, trying not to break the kiss as Zane lifted off Riley's shirt and Riley tugged at Zane's stubborn briefs.

But for a moment they pulled away, both completely breathless and biting their own lips, waiting for the right time to kiss each other again.

"Promise me something," Zane whispered just as Riley touched his nose to his. Riley nodded his head yes and looked at Zane with amazement as Zane looked at him in the exact same way.

"Anything." Riley answered, feeling as if his heart were about to jump out of his skin.

"That no matter what happens….you'll always love me most." Riley paused. Not because he was thinking anything but 'yes' but because he was surprised that Zane would even ask such a thing. After the way Zane's father reacted to his presence, Riley figured that he should be asking for a promise of Zane's love instead. But without letting his thoughts run away, Riley answered:

"I will. And I do." Zane exhaled when Riley promised and was about to respond, but Riley continued to whisper: "I love you."

Riley took Zane's face in one of his hands and kissed him slowly, stopping briefly with their lips still lightly touching to feel Zane's breath on his lips. He responded to Zane's heavy breathing by kissing him everywhere, with more desire than he ever had before.

He lightly pinned Zane's hands over his head and stared lovingly into his light brown eyes.

The entire room seemed to disappear as they stared at each other, both unaware that they were thinking and feeling the same things.

Riley stopped to rest his hand on Zane's cheek.

He ran his thumb lightly over his lips as he looked into the eyes of his boyfriend,

his best friend,

his lover,

his everything;

And knew that no matter how many times or how many ways he said 'I love you' Zane would never be able to fathom how much Riley truly meant it.


	60. First morning

**I really want to thank you guys for the kind words and constructive criticism. It means a lot to me that you guys take the time to review my work.**

**I'd love to make this as perfect as possible for you guys but I have wayyyy less time to write then I expected so these chapters are pretty rushed and scarce.**

**Sorry for the month long wait, but something tragic happened to one of my friends at school and we all needed time to help each other get through the loss. **

**Thanks again and more to come **

The sun seeped through the blinds of the apartment windows, causing Riley to stir. He looked down at his body, which felt surprisingly out of place, and glanced at the clock next to him.

"8:30…" he mumbled to himself before falling back into the bed. Suddenly he shot up and his eyes widened as he looked at the clock again "Holy crap." He looked to his left and was surprised to see Zane sleeping snuggly between the blankets with half of his face nestled into the pillow. Riley rolled out of bed, careful not to disturb Zane, and began searching for a shirt. He grabbed one off of the floor before running out of the room and putting it on simultaneously. Riley blindly headed to the kitchen and once he had finally pulled his shirt over his head, was revealed standing in front of him, wearing a cotton robe with her hair in a loose ponytail. _Does anyone else know what time it is?_ , he wondered.

"Morning sweetie." Mrs. Park said warmly as she gave Riley a motherly peck on the cheek "rest well?" Riley narrowed his eyes and leaned against the kitchen counter as he tried to catch his breath.

"Why didn't you wake us up?"

"The roads are a _mess_. Driving on them would be too dangerous." Riley's shoulders relaxed and he let out a sigh of relief before sitting at the kitchen table. "Would you like some coffee Riley?" she called out to him as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"No thanks."

"Orange juice? Milk? Water-"

"Um, yeah water's fine." Riley glanced back at the bedroom door before turning around to yell back at Mrs. Park whose head was buried in the fridge. He thought about how the only time Zane was ever temperamental was when he slept to late and decided that it would be a good idea to wake him up. "I'm gonna go get Zane."

"Okay Riley, just come back so you can start helping me with breakfast." Riley walked toward the bedroom door and slowly opened it, careful not to let the hinges squeak. Riley tip-toed to the side of the bed before smiling to himself and lightly crawling over Zane who was pulling the blanket even further over his bare shoulder. Riley lay next to him and began to poke Zane in the side, lightly whispering in his ear that it was time to wake up. When Zane didn't stir, Riley stood up from the bed and grabbed the end of the blankets, preparing to pull them off and expose Zane.

"Wake up sleepy head!" Riley yelled as he pulled the blankets from on top of his boyfriend.

"Damnit Riley…" Zane mumbled into the pillow as he failed to bury himself in the sheet underneath him. Riley smirked and fell lazily on the bed, the impact causing Zane to be thrown out of his comfortable position.

"G'morning" Riley whispered lovingly. Zane grabbed a pillow and hit Riley in the head with it as he tried to hide his smirk.

"You scared the shit out of me." Riley climbed across the bed and rested his forehead on Zane's shoulder so that his lips could lightly kiss Zane's arm.

"I didn't want you sleeping too late."

"What time is it?"

"8:30." Zane's eyes widened and he immediately began to climb out of bed. Riley grabbed his arm and stopped him before he stood up. "Snow day."

Zane paused for a moment with a slightly puzzled look on his face and his expression finally relaxed. He let out a final sigh before leaning his back against the headboard of the bed and lifting his arm as an invitation for Riley to snuggle with him. Riley rested his head on Zane's chest and wrapped an arm around his waist as Zane continued to brush Riley's hair out of his face the way he always did.

"Mom up?" Zane asked with his nose in Riley's hair.

"Yeah. She's making breakfast."

"Weird. She hates cooking."

"Well, obviously today's a special occasion." Riley said with a smile, referring to his first morning as a part of the Park household. Zane shrugged and tried to look indifferent by scratching behind his ear.

"Oh, yeah? What for?" Riley's smile fell but Zane couldn't hold a straight face. Riley immediately saw that he was joking and nudged Zane's knee with his.

"Shut up." Riley said playfully. Zane laughed in return and kissed Riley's hair before hopping out of the bed and stretching his arms above his head.

"I'm gonna take a shower. You in?" Riley bit his lip out of temptation and slowly shook his head as he looked at Zane.

"Sounds great but, I promised your mom I'd help her with breakfast. Plus," Riley lowered his voice slightly and raised his eyebrow "I'm still kinda worn out from last night." Zane paused on his way to the bathroom door to smirk at Riley and look down at the carpet bashfully. Riley let out a laugh at Zane's humiliation and nodded his head in retrospect. "I mean… it was…wow." Zane's face continued to redden as he tried to avoid Riley's sparkling eyes.

Riley always thought that having sex with Zane was amazing, but the previous night they were both completely selfless; each of them were only concerned with what would please each other instead of their own pleasure. And it turned out to be one of the most passionate nights they had ever had together. "Can I just ask what got into you last night and can it get into you more often?" Zane sighed and looked up at Riley for a moment before crossing his arms and returning his gaze to the carpet.

"Well, I had to make up for my dad's idiocy in one way or another."

"Well tell your dad that he can insult me whenever he likes." Zane laughed and walked into the bathroom shaking his head at his boyfriend's sense of humor. Riley sat on the bed for a moment, smiling to himself, before he stood up to return to the kitchen.

Mrs. Park sat at the table with a glass in front of her and one in front of an empty seat to her left. When Riley sat down in the empty seat, she lovingly cradled his chin in her hand, causing Riley to smile like a toddler.

"Zane awake?"

"Yeah, he almost had a heart attack when I told him what time it was."

"Hm, well I'm surprised you're awake so early considering you two were up so late last night." Riley raised his eyebrows alarmingly at Mrs. Park's statement and straightened his posture in a guarding manner.

"Well…we were just…"

"It's okay,"

"I just don't want you to think-"

"Riley, sweetie." Mrs. Park cut in, saving Riley from embarrassing himself "I trust you with him. You don't ever have to explain yourself, hear?" Riley's face still continued to redden. Mrs. Park smiled at the sight and nudged Riley's shoulder with hers, encouraging him to drop his hands from his face.

"I just…I want you to like me." Riley admitted, finally removing his hands from his face and letting them rest on the table. "I don't want you to think I'm trying to take advantage of him." Mrs .Park snickered and shook her head as she pat Riley on the back.

"No, never. I would never think that about you in a million years. And either way, you've earned my trust."

A door creaked to the right of them and they both turned to see Zane's father emerge from one of the guest rooms where Mrs. Park apparently made him sleep last night. He walked into the kitchen without a word and began to prepare breakfast on his own accord. Mrs. Park ignored his presence and leaned on her elbows toward Riley.

"I give you two my best wishes." She whispered, sensing the tension that lingered in the air when her husband entered. "Remember, I'm always here for both of you." Riley narrowed his eyes, touched by Mrs. Park's sincerity and squeezed her hand in return.

"Thank you." he said softly in response.

A few minutes later, Mr. Park sat down at the end of the table, at least three seats away from his wife and Riley, and began to eat his breakfast.

"Zander," Mrs. Park said softly, but with a stern facial expression "It would be nice if you would offer us all breakfast." Mr. Park put his fork down and leaned away from the table, his eyes staring dauntingly into Riley's. Riley gulped and stared back at him, his eyes wide like a dear in headlights. The running shower water was the only sound interrupting the silence as the three of them sat at the table waiting to see who would speak first.

But no one did. pushed forcefully away from the table and went back to his room leaving his plate of food behind. Riley stared at the plate as emotionally catalyzed nausea began to creep through his stomach. Mrs. Park parted her lips as if she were about to speak but closed them, unsure of what was the right thing to say.

"Am I really that bad?" Riley asked softly as he continued to stare at Mr. Park's empty chair. shook her head a few times and rubbed Riley's shoulder with the soft palm of her hand.

"No sweetie. Don't take it personally."

"What did I do wrong?"

"Please, Riley. You did nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing." Mrs. Park sighed desperately as she saw tears threaten Riley's eyes. Her facial expression became increasingly stern as she lightly guided Riley's chin so that his face was facing hers. "Look at me," she ordered while Riley continued to avoid eye contact. "This is not about you. It's about him. He's asserting his dominance. He's trying to show you that he has control. Don't prove him right by letting him scare you off." Riley finally glanced up into Mrs. Park's eyes and she let out a breath of relief. His silence was beginning to worry her. "Okay?" Riley nodded solemnly and cradled his chin in his hands. He looked like a defenseless, defeated child and Mrs. Park couldn't help but lightly pinch his cheek. She knew why Zane had stuck with Riley through all of his troubles and insecurities; there was something about Riley that made people want to take care of him. Zane's maturity however, had reached an entirely different level, and Mrs. Park found that her maternal instincts were at their peak whenever Riley was over.

Riley sat back in the chair and let out a loud sigh, releasing his own tension and slowly letting the smile return to his face.

"Still need help with breakfast?" he asked Mrs. Park, who marveled at the innocence of his soft, blue eyes before averting her eyes and squeezing his hand with hers.

"No, no don't worry about it. How about, you and Zane get out today, eh? The sidewalks are clear, maybe you two could grab something to eat." Riley nodded and was hesitant at first to stand up, but Mrs. Park gave him a reassuring nod.

He knew that she wanted him and Zane out of the house so that they didn't have to deal with Mr. Park before he left for work. He also knew that she was probably planning to have a few words with him. When Riley was younger and his mom and dad were going to argue, they would always tell him to go play outside. It was funny to Riley that even though Mrs. Park and his mother were complete opposites in many ways, he found new things everyday that made them seem more and more similar.

Riley smiled at Mrs. Park as he dragged his feet across the carpet to his and Zane's bedroom door door. Zane stood fully clothed and fixing his hair as Riley sauntered in and stood behind him. They made eye contact in the mirror and Zane gave him a slight smile.

"I was thinking we could head out today." Zane began cheerfully as he looked over his shoulder for a moment to make actual eye contact with Riley "maybe see if Peter and A-Wall can hang out?"

Riley was lost in thought of the conversation he and Mrs. Park had just had. Would Zane's dad ever be able to like him? He didn't even have to _like_ him. Riley would be satisfied if would simply tolerate him. What Riley was most worried about was whether or not Mr. Park's intolerance of him had the ability to change Zane's perspective on them as a couple. It could even ruin the chance they had at a solid relationship.

"Riley?" Riley realized that he had been staring blankly at the floor and raised an eyebrow at Zane to show that he was paying attention. Zane's smile stayed in place but wilted a little as he walked toward Riley. "Spacin' out?"

"Yeah." Riley answered quietly with a shrug. "Just thinking about stuff."

"Wanna talk about it?" Riley thought about how upset Zane was the previous night and knew that the sheer mention of anything that had occurred at dinner would put him into a slump. So Riley simply replied:

"No. Not really."

"Okay." Zane said flatly "we don't have to talk about it."

"Zane?" Riley said with a timid squeak that caused Zane to look up immediately "am I…imposing?" Zane furrowed his brow at Riley's question and almost cracked a smile.

"'Imposing'?"

"I don't know I'm afraid that I'm gonna annoy you guys." Zane let out a short breathy laugh and sat next to Riley at the foot of the bed.

"Riley," he began with a slightly condescending, parental tone "don't create problems where they don't exist." Zane scooted closer and laced his fingers in Riley's as he looked at his boyfriend's profile, which was tilted toward the floor in shame. "You have no idea how much I love waking up to you." Zane said softly as he tried to look into Riley's eyes.

"But what about everyone else?"

"My mom loves you."

"That's not what I'm worried about."

"You mean my dad?" Riley stared at the floor and didn't even nod in response "you can say it, Riley. If that's what you're thinking-"

"Okay. I'm thinking it."

"He just needs some time."

"But how much longer, Zane? If I wanted someone to tell me that I'm not good enough….I could've just stayed at home."

"Hey," Zane said to get Riley's attention as he noticed him becoming increasingly upset "remember what we promised each other last night? I meant that…Let's just focus on us. Please?" Riley not only heard Zane's words but, listened to them. He thought about it as he intertwined their fingers together, using his thumb to play with the ring on Zane's index finger.

"You're right," Riley said with a sigh as he felt Zane tighten the grip on his hand "that's what's most important, right?" Zane smiled as if it were more than enough to answer Riley's question, and it was.


	61. Prom Proposal

**Didn't have much time to proofread these so ignore typos or sloppy writing. I'll fix them tmrw if need be. **

_It's almost April, Degrassi and you know what that means. That's right, pull those dancing shoes out of your closet and prepare to dress to impress because prom is around the corner. Tickets go on sale next week in the atrium. Don't miss out, because this year Degrassi is throwing its grandest prom yet…_

Riley partially listened to Sav Bhandari's voice over the loudspeaker as he and Anya walked to class. He had been living with Zane for three months now and although Mr. Park seemed impossible to win over, everything else was going great. And now, he only wanted to come up with the perfect way to ask Zane to prom to show him how much he appreciated everything he had done the past few months.

"So," Riley began with raised eyebrows "who're you thinking about taking to prom?" Anya smiled and shrugged.

"God, I don't know. I haven't even thought about it."

"Trust me," Riley said, reassuringly bumping Anya's arm with his elbow "you don't even have to think about it. Plenty of guys will ask you." Anya smiled and looked up at Riley with flushed cheeks.

"You're sweet. Well I hope someone does. I already have a dress hanging in my closet."

"Wow, someone's prepared."

"Always! So, how about you and Zane split limo fees with Adam, Fiona and me and…well, whoever my date ends up being?" Riley bit his lip as Anya giggled and sat his backpack on the floor when they reached the classroom.

"Sounds good…Except I haven't even asked Zane yet." Anya glanced at Riley with a confused look and continued to unpack her stuff.

"Do you really have to? I thought you guys were planning to go together."

"Well, I guess but I wanna surprise him. He's done so much for me so, I figured I could put a little thought into it."

"Wow," Anya said with a glistening smile "you've become quite the beau Mr. Stavros."

"Well, thanks." Riley answered with false arrogance, but immediately faltered, "Let's just hope Zane thinks so."

"I'm sure he will."

Riley spent the rest of the day thinking of ways he could surprise Zane and even enlisted Adam, Fiona and Holly J to help. The quartet sat on the front steps as school was ending and pondered the numerous possibilities through discussion.

"Well," Adam said "you could keep it simple and…decorate his locker or something." Adam scrunched his nose at his lame suggestion.

"Nah," Riley answered after pausing to think for a moment "That's so old school. Plus Zane's too good for that kind of stuff." Fiona nodded in agreement and daintily crossed her legs, showing off her new heeled sandals.

"Riley's right." She said "Although I agree with maintaining simplicity Zane's mature and cultured and…" Fiona looked up as if she were searching her vocabulary inventory for the proper word and lowered her eyes when she found the right one "refined. How about a quiet, candle lit dinner? That's how Adam asked me and_ I_ was completely wooed." Adam smiled boastfully and straightened the collar of his shirt.

"That was definitely one of my smoother moves." He said jokingly as he looked up expectantly at Fiona. Fiona leaned down to kiss him softly and they both pulled away with smiles on their faces. Holly and Riley smiled awkwardly and waited for them to re-enter the conversation.

"I guess he'd be pretty impressed." Riley mumbled, still uncertain about the idea. Holly saw the unsure expression on Riley's face and decided to cut in.

"But you _do_ want to do something where you'll be comfortable." Holly said, coming to Riley's rescue "Zane's great, I get it. But he's also down to earth. I'm sure he'll appreciate whatever you do as long as it comes from the heart."

"She's right," Fiona cut in after pondering Holly's suggestion "I'm sure a sweet, heartfelt surprise will more than suffice." Adam chewed on his bottom lip as he thought and shrugged indifferently.

"Okay, well what I'm gathering is that he should do something that's cute and classy yet…modest?"

"That sounds like Zane." Fiona said as she bounced her foot up and down out of excitement. "So what's the plan?"

Adam rubbed his chin as he ran ideas through his head. Suddenly, something donned on him and he snapped his fingers

"Well this isn't necessarily a suggestion but it could get the juices flowing. When Drew asked this one girl to prom at his old school, he simply got down on bended knee and asked her-modest enough. But then, he had one of his friends waiting behind the corner with a miniature chi-poo-"

"Pardon?" Holly cut in with an amused smirk.

"A chi-poo…it's a chihuaha poodle. Anyway he tied a note to the poodle's collar and his friend let it go after he asked and it ran up to her. She read the note and it told her to say yes (that's the cute part) and she did…she was kinda pissed that she couldn't keep the dog though. That was distasteful on his part." Riley furrowed his brow and looked at Adam as if he were insane. He couldn't see the point of his contribution.

"So…I should buy Zane a dog?" Adam's shoulders fell at Riley's slightly idiotic question while Fiona's face lit up as she thought about the possibilities.

"I think what Adam's trying to say" Fiona said "Is that there are endless possibilities. You just have to be creative. Getting down on one knee is always sweet. Of course it's not enough, but it is for sure an essential part of any perfect proposal."

"That's true" Holly replied with a nod "when a guy kneels it's enough to make anyone's heart stop." Riley tried to figure out why that idea caused his stomach to churn and then he remembered the incident back at Whistler.

"No!" he almost screamed, interrupting all of the nods and sounds of approval that were coming from his friends "that's not really a good idea."

"Well," Adam appeared slightly offended but tried to shrug it off "it's nothing genius but you're kinda putting in a tall order here."

"It's just… It's kind of…"

"Outdated?" asked Holly.

"Hokey." Fiona corrected as she nodded to herself.

"Chivalrous?" Fiona and Holly looked at Adam with harsh glares and he glared back jokingly "what, it's dead isn't it?" Adam avoided a slap from Fiona's hand and Riley barely noticed the tussling behind him. "Well whatever you do, I wish you luck."

"Don't think too hard sweetie," Fiona reassured as she and Adam stood to leave "it's not worth losing your mind over." Riley nodded and sighed, as he got lost in thought, completely forgetting that Holly was behind him until she begun to speak.

"I know that it's been a while since we've really talked but, we're all so proud of how far you've come." Riley tried to hide the emotion that Holly J seemed to be so good at evoking and looked down at his feet "I mean, in the beginning of the year you were sill 'football Riley'…I have to say you've made quite the transformation."

"And look at you," Riley said as he smiled up at Holly "Ms. New and improved."

"I had to hang the bitch hat up some day."

"Well, congratulations." Holly laughed lightly and stared at the outline the sunlight created around the trees, not expecting Riley to continue. "Yeah, and I thought it was about time I took off the straight jacket."

"Well, I'm glad you did." Holly said with a confident nod.

"Yeah, me too. And hey, we're living proof that people change."

"For the better?" Holly inquired, as if proposing an agreement.

"For the best."


	62. Surprise

Riley stared blankly out of Holly's car window, his thoughts interrupted by the harsh patter of the raindrops that had begun to fall. Zane had gone home right after school because he had a lot of work to get done, so for the first time in a long time, Holly J and Riley spent some time together.

Holly stopped the car and raised an eyebrow at the extravagance of the apartment building before turning her head toward Riley.

"This is it, right?" Riley nodded and shifted in his seat to retrieve his vibrating phone from his back pocket. He flashed a smile when he saw who the message was from and subconsciously began to fix his hair.

"I have a surprise for u =)" the message read. Riley raised an eyebrow and grinned which didn't go unnoticed by Holly.

"Someone's smiley." She said with a nonintrusive smirk "is it Zane?" Riley put his phone up to his lips and smiled sheepishly like a child.

"Yeah." Riley glanced over at Holly who had a smirk on her face that was partially an expression of impression but was also holding back a laugh. Riley let out the first chuckle and Holly followed. "I know, I know I'm whipped," he laughed as he put the phone in his back pocket. Holly shook her head and leaned against the car window with a smile.

"No…it's good, you know?" she asked in that calm, mature way that Riley had begun to adore "to still get butterflies after being with someone for that long. Don't take advantage of that. " Riley smiled to himself and looked at Holly out of the corner of his eye. He felt closer to her in the past couple of hours than he had a lot of the friends he had made before her and he suddenly realized how desperately he needed someone to talk to.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Yeah sure." Holly answered quickly, recognizing an urgent desperation in Riley's voice. Riley sighed and forced himself to release his nervousness.

"While Zane and I were away a few months ago I kind of brought up...well, I sort of…" Holly looked at Riley with sympathy and stayed silent, hoping that he would be encouraged to continue "told him that I wanted to take our relationship to the next level."

"And by 'next level' you mean…?"

"Like _the_ ultimate step." Holly squinted at Riley to show her lack of understanding, forcing him to explain further. "Why else would getting down on one knee freak me out?" Holly's eyes widened and her head swerved in Riley's direction.

"You proposed?" Holly whispered, out of utter surprise "Did you knock him up or something?" Riley rolled his eyes and shook his head 'no'.

"Sorry I just didn't think I'd see the day. At least, not anytime this soon."

"Well you won't," Riley said with slight hostility "cause he told me that it wasn't gonna happen." Holly felt remorse for her previous wise crack and her face softened as she looked at Riley.

"He said no?" she asked quietly. Riley nodded and twisted the ring on his finger.

"I don't really want to get married now or even a year from now. I just thought…" Riley let his voice trail off as he gave up on explaining himself. It would sound pathetic no matter which way he said it.

"That by making the commitment," Holly said with a knowing expression on her face "that there'd be more of a chance that he'd stick around." Riley relaxed his shoulders as a feeling of relief overtook him. "Riley, engagement will do nothing but put even more pressure on the both of you. Take it slow." Riley nodded and sighed, realizing that she gave the very advice that he expected from her.

"I guess I knew that." Riley forced a smile and leaned over to awkwardly hug Holly from his seated position. "Thanks."

"Anytime. Just, call me if you need anything, okay?" Riley nodded and opened the car door to step out. He looked back to see Holly wave by daintily fluttering her fingers and smile to herself as she pulled out of the driveway.

Riley headed up the stairs to the apartment and began to sniff as he walked down the hallway. A warm, familiar smell filled the hallway and became stronger as he neared the door. He retrieved the key from his back pocket and opened the door, only to be bombarded with the smell of homemade Fosolada, a traditional Greek soup.

"Zane?" he called as he hung his coat on the rack in the hallway. Riley followed the smell into the dining room where he saw an assortment of his favorite Greek cuisine delightfully crowding the table. Riley could feel his stomach begin to growl but figured the food could wait. He just left the dining room when Zane turned out of the kitchen and met him halfway. Riley grinned and stuck his hands shyly in his pockets. "It smells amazing in here."

"Yeah?" Zane answered as he dusted his hands on the dishcloth that was hanging over his shoulder "I figured that since you've been away from home for so long that we could bring home to you."

"That's so sweet." Riley looked at the table again rendered speechless by all of the trouble Zane must have gone through to make this work. "You didn't have to do all of this"

"Well, what fun would it be if I had to? Then I'd miss out on that cute smile you get when you're surprised." Riley squeezed Zane's hand and Zane walked toward him to meet his embrace before pulling away rather quickly. He held one of Riley's hands, making sure that they were standing about a foot apart.

"You know what would make this even better?" Riley asked.

"What?" Riley looked down at Zane's half-length apron, the kind that only covered from the waist down, and smiled "If you were only wearing this." Zane laughed a little but gave Riley a warning look with his eyes.

"Thought I'd save those kinds of surprises for your birthday."

"Sounds like a sure thing." Zane desperately wanted to feel Riley's lips on his but knew that he should hold off on that type of physical contact. But Riley was already leaning in. "Come here." Zane's eyes widened as he dodged Riley's kiss and walked toward the dining room.

"Food's getting cold." He said behind his shoulder as he walked briskly into the dining room. Riley opened his eyes to see that Zane wasn't standing in front of him and turned slowly toward the dining room. Riley approached Zane from behind and began to untie his apron for him. "I got it." Zane said as he began to untie it himself.

"No," Riley said calmly with an air of suspicion in his voice "let me do it." As soon as Riley finished untying Zane's apron Zane moved away, leaving it in Riley's hand. Riley blamed Zane's stiffness on excitement and shrugged. "So, how'd you cook all of this by yourself in a few hours?" Zane smiled and leaned on a chair, his face beginning to flush.

"I had some help." Zane's eyes lit and Riley turned around to see Mrs. Park turn into the dining room.

"Smells great in here." She said, "not half bad, eh?" Riley nodded and grinned in response.

"Not at all. Looks just like my mom used to make it." Zane bit his lip and cut his eyes toward his mother who urged him to stay silent. "Where'd you guys get all these recipes from anyway…" Riley's voice trailed off as he felt a presence at the dining room door.

"Riley," Mrs. Stavros said breathily, relieved by the sight of her son that she hadn't seen in so long "it is so great to see you." Riley stood in the dining room, completely dumbstruck and looked back at Zane and Mrs. Park. They both smiled at him slightly before dismissing themselves from the room. "I was thinking we could have a talk?" Riley lowered himself into the closest seat as a wordless silenced lingered. His heart began to pound as everything began to sink in. He had thought for months about what he would say to his mother if he were to see her again, but he hadn't thought that it would be this soon.


	63. Mother and Son 2

"So…" Riley began, after a long silence in which nothing could be heard except chewing and the sound of air conditioning "how's everything?" Mrs. Stavros sighed and rested her fork on the side of her plate before making brief, weak eye contact with Riley.

"Well, things have certainly been different." Riley nodded and glanced at the ceiling, then the wall, then the table. He looked everywhere but at his mother. He wasn't used to being around her and the fact that she was in the home where he and Zane eat, sleep and wakeup together made the meeting even more uncomfortable. "And with you?" Mrs. Stavros finally asked, making Riley realize how long he had been silent.

"I'm fine."

"That's good." Another silence settled in for a few minutes before Riley attempted to make small talk.

"You and dad been getting along, or-"

"Um, sure. We've been getting along well," she said with a nonchalant shrug.

"That's good." The room became quiet again and Mrs. Stavros decided to break the silence for a second time.

"How are things with college? You'll be leaving early you know. For the season."

"Uhh I don't know. I guess I'm glad that I got recruited and I guess I'm looking forward to football season but, I'm gonna miss home." Mrs. Stavros was finally smiling, but only slightly. Even Riley barely noticed it.

"Mhmm"

"You, dad…Zane…"

"Hmph," Mrs. Stavros huffed disapprovingly. She cut her eyes toward her food and the slight smile that was on her lips faded at the sound of Zane's name. She pretended to be busy with her food as Riley stared at her from across the table.

"So, are we gonna talk or…"

"I was waiting for you to begin." Mrs. Stavros said as she sat back in her seat and dropped her fork to her plate causing Riley to jump. She was looking around Riley's head and glancing at the table but refused to look directly at him. Riley could sense his mother's hostility and he swallowed hard before he began to speak.

"Well, I…I don't know where to start. I guess I wanna know where you stand. With everything…."

"Well, I'm here am I not?" Mrs. Stavros asked curtly. Riley could have sworn he heard her voice crack nervously.

"Well…yeah." Riley began, slightly aggrivated by his mother's cold response "But that doesn't mean…" Riley could hear his voice escalading so he stopped himself. He realized that his mother handled any difficult subject with immaturity and that if he argued back, she would become even more stubborn than she already was. "I guess what I'm trying to ask you is whether or not you'll accept me. Now that I've come out…as being gay." Mrs. Stavros shrugged but surprised Riley when she didn't flinch at the mention of his homosexuality. What he didn't know, was that she had been ruminating over these words for an extended period of time since he had left and she had grown to be immune to them.

"I'll tolerate what I can," she said with yet another shrug and another refusal of eye contact.

Riley wasn't sure if he should show relief or if he should feel threatened by the statement. It was the word "tolerance" that was making him unsure what to feel.

To tolerate but not to accept was an interesting concept. Most schools teach tolerance. Many churches teach tolerance as well. _But, what is tolerance?_ Riley thought to himself.

Tolerance is what a person has for their talkative coworker who won't shut up from 9am to 5pm. Tolerance is something people have when their crotch is itching but they can't scratch it in public. Tolerance is what keeps you from exterminating the ass hole that takes the parking spot that you've been waiting to occupy for 7 minutes.

People tolerate things they don't like. They tolerate things that they wish weren't there. They tolerate things that the refuse to accept.

For Riley to hear that his mother would "tolerate" him, was certainly a step forward, but could it be considered actual progress?

Riley sighed and tried to shake the thoughts from his head before he became depressed. His mother didn't seem to notice and continued to eat and stare off into space.

"You still cook well." Riley said timidly, slightly upset with himself for changing the subject. But surprisingly, his mother gave him the perfect segway to return to the important topic:

"I'm glad to hear it. Zane and his mother were great help."

"Yeah? Did you guys talk at all?"

"Yes, of course."

"And…"

"Well, Kara's a wonderful woman. Very bright and caring." Mrs. Stavros looked up to see Riley waiting expectantly. She widened her eyes slightly and sighed. "What?"

"Well…what about Zane?"

"Well, I already met Zane before…not much to say." Riley narrowed his eyes and had to refrain from raising his voice at his mother. She was being ridiculously stubborn.

"Well…you should say something. Because he's my boyfriend and I want you to love him as much as I do."

"Hmph." There it was again. The most disapproving sound that Riley's ears had ever heard. However despite his mother's condemnation, Riley continued to explain himself.

"As cool as it is that you're here and that you're willing to…'tolerate' my lifestyle...I'd really like it if you would be okay with Zane too?" Mrs. Stavros ran her tongue over her teeth and made a 'tsk' sound with her mouth before standing up to get more water from the kitchen. As she returned Riley continued. "He's like, a huge part of my life now. If you tolerate me than you have to tolerate him. Because I'm not really…I'm not much of anything without him…"

Mrs. Stavros stared at Riley blankly in a way that was so familiar to him, yet so frightening. Her mind had finally processed what she had been refusing to recognize for some time: The fact that her son was truly in love with another boy and that they were extremely intimate emotionally and, what seemed to hit her hardest, physically. "Are you listening?"

"Yes, Riley I hear you." Mrs Stavros said under a huff. She was sitting back from the table now, staring at her food and adjusting her napkin in her lap.

"Well are you going to respond or what?"

"Well you barely gave me any time to-to gather my thoughts," she said sporadically. Riley looked at her with confusion as she began to spastically reorganize the table setting. The swift motion of her hands threatened to knock over everything in sight.

"I gave you plenty," Riley said in response, no longer willing to give his mom a way to escape.

"What do you want me to say, huh?" Riley was positive that he had heard his mother's voice crack this time and the tears that followed served as certification. "What do you want to know?" Riley's eyes softened as he tried to answer his mother's question. He knew exactly what he wanted to know, but in his desperate attempt to stay calm, and most importantly mature, he didn't bother to ask.

"How could you just kick me out like that?" Riley finally asked, ignoring the tears that were stinging his eyes. Mrs. Stavros seemed taken aback by the question and crossed her arms defensively.

"Well, you were being disrespectful…"

"How was I being disrespectful?"

"You raised your voice at me for one. You defied me-"

"How? Because you tried to tell me that I wasn't gay and I didn't just say "alright ma obviously I'm mistaken'." Mrs. Stavros stood up from the table and began to gather her coat and handbag before Riley stood up to follow her.

"Do you even care?" he asked loudly, no longer trying to stay calm. "Are you gonna try?"

"I came all the way here. And you say that I'm not trying?" Mrs. Stavros shook her head at her son and turned to walk away when the desperation and hurt in Riley's voice surprised her.

"Ma, you can barely look at me." She turned around and stared into Riley's eyes and realized that he was right; she hadn't looked at them the entire night. But as she looked into his eyes she noticed something different about them, something that made Riley seem older. They were the eyes of a young man, not her little boy.

Mrs. Stavros shook her head and pressed her lips together to hold back a sob. She cradled her son's chin in her hand for a few moments before whispering softly: "I just miss my son." Riley's face relaxed at his mother's touch and he breathed deeply when she dropped her hand to her side and turned to walk out the door.

"I'm still the same person mom," Riley said after her. Mrs. Stavros smiled at him and nodded.

"I'd like to believe so." Riley smiled in return and almost didn't notice that her hand lightly caressed his. When he noticed, she had pulled away and he couldn't squeeze it in return.

"Wait…" Riley said, causing his mother to turn around for the last time. Does this mean I'm not going to see you again?" As Mrs. Stavros looked at her son's eyes once more, heart began to wilt when she saw how much they reminded her of her own. It was then that she realized that he was her son and that she had done him wrong. However as much as she wanted to hold him and apologize relentlessly, she just didn't have it in her to admit that she had been selfish.

"I will be waiting for your call." She said softly. Mrs. Stavros had left Riley to wipe away his tears alone but, underneath his tears of sadness was a smile of joy.


	64. Opportunities

Riley walked back into the kitchen to find Zane cleaning the dishes and Mrs. Park on the phone. silently excused herself as she continued to argue with whoever was on the other end. Zane put the dishes down and turned around to face Riley. He anxiously chewed on his lip, waiting for Riley to show any sign of how the conversation went.

"So?" Zane asked, too nervous to wait any longer.

"Well, I'm staying." Riley responded, careful not to let his tone reveal that he was feeling the smallest bit of disappointment over that fact. Zane could see how red Riley's eyes were, and he became concerned.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. I think it will be." Zane could see Riley's shoulders tense up the way they always did when he was stressed. He squeezed Riley's arms with his hands and looked into his eyes.

"I'm proud of you." Zane said quietly before resting his forehead against his boyfriend's. Riley's shoulders relaxed as he lightly wrapped his arms around Zane's waist and rested his head on his shoulder. Riley's nerves were finally calm when a loud bang interrupted the silence and caused him and Zane to look up. Mr. Park had walked into the kitchen and slammed his briefcase onto the table.

"Son, what do you say you help me carry some prints from the car, eh?" Zane looked at his father with judgment and lightly shook his head.

"Now? Dad, Riley and I were talking-"

"Sure you were." Mr. Park said with a raised eyebrow, taught lips and a piercing look in his eyes "Now, give me a hand, will you?" Riley furrowed his brow and looked at Mr. Park with disgust.

waited for Mr. Park to finally wander away so that he could interlock his fingers with Zane's. Only he was left disappointed when Zane gave Riley's hand a light squeeze and turned around to leave.

"Sorry." Zane said as he walked away to help his father. Riley sighed and leaned against the kitchen counter as he waited for Zane to return.

His eyes wandered over the family pictures of Zane when he was a toddler, and Mr. and Mrs. Park. He found his gaze resting on a beautiful picture of Kara and Zane that appeared to be taken at least twelve years ago. What surprised him was how familiar Kara's face had become. He couldn't deny the sense of family and acceptance that he felt while living with her and Zane. Riley heard the door open again and immediately began talking to Zane.

"You were just as adorable then as you are now," he began, before turning around and realizing that , not Zane, was the one standing in the kitchen with him.

"Well, thanks." Mr. Park said sarcastically before pushing by a red-faced Riley to get to the kitchen drawers. "Where is that goddamn swiss army knife," he mumbled under his breath as he began to rummage through the clutter. Embarrassed, Riley was about to leave, before Mr. Park looked back at him with slightly accusing eyes. Mr. Park held up a few pieces of paper that had been folded to fit into envelopes and waved them in the air. "Did you know about this?"

"Kn-know about what?" Mr. Park raised his eyebrows and looked in amazement at the pile of paper.

"Banting, Columbia," Mr. Park began as his eyes widened at every page he flipped through. Riley squinted as Mr. Park continued "Eastern, Toronto, Cornell…My son's a genius." He said to know one in particular as dropped his hands to his side and stared off into space. Riley stood there slightly confused and it wasn't until dropped the letters onto the counter to call Mrs. Park into the room that he had a good look at them.

They were all acceptance letters to five top-notch Universities. Riley shook his head in amazement and could feel a smile creeping at his lips. But then it faded. Considering that Eastern had their eyes on him since ninth grade, Riley knew by now that he would be going there. And while Eastern did have a good engineering program, it was competing with some of the best Universities out there. Zane had better options than going to Eastern. So, why would he choose to go there?

"Kara, you have to see this." Mr. Park dragged Mrs. Park into the kitchen as she clumsily hung the phone on the hook. She looked at him out of confusion and began to resist against his strength.

"Zander!" she exclaimed as he smiled manically and snatched the letters from Riley's hand "what are you doing?"

"Oh calm down, Kara. Look!" Mr. Park put the letters in Mrs. Park's hands and smiled in anticipation of her reaction. "You see that?"

"Oh my God…" Mrs. Park's voice trailed off as she read one letter after the other "Zane! Where's Zane?" Mrs. Park looked around spastically for her son. The only thing that was keeping her from flailing her arms was the small doorway that she was confined to. "Riley?" she said happily as she looked at him with sparkling eyes. Riley smiled and nodded at Mrs. Park and congratulated her before excusing himself to the bedroom.

Riley's head was crowded with doubts and concerns as he sat down on the edge of the bed. But he also felt anxious and slightly disappointed in himself. Getting accepted to all of those universities meant great opportunities for Zane so Riley should be nothing but happy for him, right? Riley realized that his concern was selfish, but he couldn't help but wonder if Zane felt the same way.

"There he is!" Riley heard Mr. Park exclaim from the hall. "Our next president, eh?" Riley stood up to shut the door, trying to shield the unbearable sound of Mrs. Park squealing, Mr. Park's shouting and the undeniable sound of his and Zane's relationship crumbling before him.

Moments later the door opened and Zane walked in. His eyes wide and lips parted as if he were about to explain, but he never did. Riley looked up at him with an oddly content facial expression and shrugged one shoulder.

"You're brilliant," Riley said as Zane leaned against the door and stared down at him. "When were you gonna tell me?" Zane sighed and avoided his boyfriend's eyes as he sat down on the bed next to him and reached for his hand butZane was surprised when Riley didn't immediately reach out to link hands with him "Did you think I wouldn't be happy for you or something?"

"I just, I needed to make the decision on my own." Zane said in his soft, masculine voice that usually soothed Riley, but now it was only stirring up even more emotion within him "I thought it would be better if no one else knew." They both settled into silence as Zane pulled at his bottom lip with his fingers and glanced at Riley.

"So, what'd you decide?" Riley asked anxiously anticipating an answer while at the same time, regretting that he had asked.

"I didn't. Not yet."

"Well how long have you known?" Zane sighed and his shoulders became tense again. He had kept this information from Riley for a while, and he knew that was what would hurt him the most.

"I knew about Banting and Eastern at the end of January." He admitted underneath a sigh "The others I knew about in February." Riley raised an eyebrow and held back a scoff. It was March.

"Can you at least tell me which ones you're considering?"

"Columbia, Cornell-"

"Those are both in the states…"

"And Eastern." Riley did scoff this time as he scooted further away from Zane.

"There's nothing for you at Eastern that Columbia and Cornell won't have even better." Zane laughed softly at Riley's whining and raised an eyebrow.

"There is something that Eastern will have that they won't."

"If you say me, I swear…" they both laughed and Zane's eyes rested on Riley's adorable features and warm eyes before he kissed his cheek and stood up

"I didn't tell you because I know how you get sometimes and I just wanted you to be happy for once."

"For once?"

"Well, after everything you've gone through with your parents and my dad…I thought that telling you that I may go to school in a different country would only make you upset."

"You don't seem as concerned about this as I am," Riley said almost inaudibly as he stared at his feet.

"I'm not. Only because I'm confident that even though we may be far away that we can still make it work," Although Zane was telling the truth about his confidence in their relationship, he was more upset about leaving Riley than he let on. He knew that he had to be strong for Riley and that if both of them were upset, they wouldn't be able to enjoy what could be their last few months living together.

"Well, yeah," Riley said with a sigh "but….won't it be hard to go from living with each other to seeing each other once every few months?"

"It'll be awful at first. But we can email, text, vid chat… we can give phone sex a try." Riley smirked and looked away as Zane sat on his lap and kissed the top of his head. "Hey," Zane said softly into Riley's hair, causing Riley to look up into his eyes "Riley, I'm happy with you. We're gonna make this work. I'm not letting this ruin us, okay?"

"Really?"

"Yeah….because I can't really imagine myself ever being with anyone else." Zane immediately winced as soon as he let those words come out of his mouth. Its not that they weren't true, it was just that it was possibly one of the first times during his and Riley's relationship that he expressed how he really felt about Riley without thinking.

Riley's eyes widened at first, and then he furrowed his brow out of surprise. Riley could see Zane's face reddening and his shoulders tensing up so he decided to say something, but all Riley could come up with was:

"Wow. I….wow." Zane shook his head at himself and whispered "oh boy" under his breath as he worked up the nerve to make eye contact with his stunned boyfriend. "I dunno what to say….except that I've felt that way about you for…forever." Even though Riley revealed that the feeling was mutual, Zane's face continued to flush, so Riley took a more sarcastic route. "So when did you get all mushy and stuff?"

"You have that effect on me I guess…"

"Zane…" Riley said with a raised eyebrow and a snarky grin "If you're just trying to get some right now… you don't have to feed me all this crap. We can just get right to it." Zane smiled at Riley, relieved, and then let his mouth fall open slightly.

"I'm not bull shitting I'm serious… I can't believe you said that. I was actually trying to be romantic for a second." Zane pretended to be offended and stood up from Riley's lap so that he could walk toward the door.

"What?" Riley said as he began to follow Zane, "It was out of character I just thought you were horny."

"You're ridiculous."

"Aww come here," Riley reached out toward Zane only to get playful resistance in return.

"No…no you ruined the moment."

"Oh, come on. I'm sorry."

"I'm not feeling it anymore." Riley smirked and used most of his strength to pull Zane toward him into an embrace. Riley looked into Zane's light brown eyes and leaned in to begin kissing Zane's neck.

"You feelin' it now?" Riley said, his voice muffled as he continued to kiss his boyfriend.

"Mph… I'm feeling somethin'." Riley smiled as he squeezed Zane's waist and leaned in to kiss his lips this time. In that moment, there was a light knock on the door behind them. Zane figured that it was his mother and didn't bother to push Riley away from him. However, he opened the door and saw his father there with the phone. Mr. Park looked at Riley threateningly then at Zane with distaste. He noticed how tightly the two held each other and shook his head.

"Would you boys just-" Mr. Park began as he looked between the two of them. Mr. Park's hesitation was obvious as he pressed his lips together and shook his head. "Here," he said as he shoved the phone toward Zane "It's your aunt." Mr. Park had begun to walk away but then he stopped and turned back around. First he looked at Zane and shortly there after his attention fell on Riley "How about you focus on what's important" he said to Zane while glaring at Riley "your family."


	65. Getaway

16/08/2011 22:16:00

"Hey!" Anya shouted after Riley in the hallway a couple of weeks later. She ran up from behind him and tugged on his red polo shirt. Riley turned around and was surprised to find that Anya wasn't smiling cheerily like usual but was frowning out of concern. "Remember all those guys that you said would be dying to ask me to prom?"

"Yeah?" Riley answered as he slowed down so that Anya's stride matched his.

"Well, where the hell are they?" Riley laughed at Anya's not-so hidden frustration and shook his head.

"They're probably just scared to ask you."

"Well they better get over that fear really quick because I'm about to be dateless to prom," Anya said as she cut her eyes toward Riley and back toward the locker's next to her. Riley could sense that Anya was truly upset. It was understandable considering prom was only a couple of weeks away. But, at the same time Degrassi guys were known for asking girls out last minute and Riley was sure that someone would approach Anya within the next few days. But, being the good friend that he was, he decided to humor her anyway.

"Want a set up?" Anya's eyes softened and she looked at Riley before she graciously rested her hand on his shoulder.

"Could you? I mean you _do_ know the entire football team."

"Yeah… but you don't wanna go with those guys." Anya scrunched up her nose in disagreement causing them both to laugh "Not good enough. You need someone older, nicer…someone cute…" Riley thought to himself for a moment before letting his arm fall around Anya's shoulder "I bet Peter's available."

"Peter Stone? Didn't he, like, graduate?"

"Yeah he 'like, graduated' but it says in the Degrassi handbook that recent alumni are fair game. _Plus_ he said he thought you were really cute last year." Riley could see Anya's face flush as she thought to herself for a moment.

"Really? Huh, then I guess that's not such a terrible idea." Anya smiled as she began to imagine Peter Stone, the former Degrassi rock star, as her perfect prom date. Riley walked next to her in silence at the same thought, happy with himself for thinking of such a perfect set up on the spot. But, moments later Anya had a different hop in her step as she remembered Riley's predicament from earlier. "So, about the big proposal…"

_Proposal. _The word rung tauntingly in Riley's ears as soon as it slipped from Anya's lips. Riley's swift stride had slowed to a complete stop as he felt his heart beat rising and his pulse swelling in his ears. _Proposal_… _Holly must have told, _he thought to himself. Just then Anya realized that Riley was no longer by her side, but a few feet behind her. Anya stopped and turned on her heels only to see a nervous Riley blinking madly.

"What?" Riley managed to ask as Anya stared at him through narrowed eyes.

"…Uh, prom? Didn't you have some big proposal idea for Zane planned out?" Riley's heartbeat finally began to slow when he heard Anya's mention of prom. He realized that even months later he still hadn't let himself live down the most awkward and unfortunate moment of his and Zane's relationship. "Riley? Are you okay?"

"Uh…Not so good. Can't think of anything to do that's…good enough." Riley said, making a quick and impressive recovery.

"Riley…we've been over this"

"Yeah, yeah I know but… God, every time I think I have a good plan he makes him self even more amazing." Anya raised an eyebrow at the way Riley softly smiled to himself when he talked about Zane. She then looked at him with sympathy and slight impatience as she tried to reassure him.

"That's all in your head, Riley."

"You're not his boyfriend." Riley said with an eye roll toward Anya. "You wouldn't know."

"No," Anya said sharply in response, becoming slightly irritated by Riley's hard-headedness "but I _am_ one of his good friends and I do know that you shouldn't worry so much about it." Anya's voice trailed off when she noticed Zane walking around the corner. Zane smiled brightly at her however Anya only gave him a close-mouthed smile in return. "Just relax." She whispered toward Riley as Zane slowly approached them "You already got the guy…remember?" Zane had reached Anya and Riley by now and his smile faded away at the sight of their distraught faces, giving way to a look of slight confusion.

"Hey," he said to both of them.

"Hey, Zane." Anya said with a sweet, innocent smile, trying to hide the evidence of the conversation that she and Riley had just had. "Well, I'll leave you two alone, I have a killer math test to study for anyway." She left with a light, fluttering wave and, when she was sure that Zane was no longer looking, one last warning glance toward Riley. Zane glanced back at Riley to see that his boyfriend seemed distracted. He rested a hand on Riley's arm and smiled beautifully as Riley continued to glance around.

"Hey? You alright?" Zane asked as he tried to catch Riley's eyes.

"Yep. I'm fine…" Riley finally glanced at Zane and the sight of his gorgeous smile immediately had Riley grinning again. "And, jeez, so are you." Zane blushed and lightly hit Riley with a math textbook teasingly before they began walking toward the front door. "So I was thinking…" Riley began as he pushed on the door with his shoulder so that he could face his boyfriend "that before we go home tonight we just hang. Between school, the drama at home and college decisions we haven't really had time to chill like we used to." Zane nodded and smirked at how odd it was that now that he and Riley lived together it seemed like they spent even less time alone. The weekdays had turned into a daily routine that kept them from spending quality time with each other without Zane's parents around. Oddly enough, they didn't even bother to go out alone on the weekends (probably because they spent almost every waking moment together during the week). Zane sighed and nudged Riley's arm with his elbow before smiling and asking:

"Wanna get away from it all?"

"Do I ever."

After a forty-minute drive to an undisclosed location, Riley was beginning to become restless. Just as he was about to ask if they were "there yet" for the fourth time, Zane pulled over to the side of the highway and parked the car.

"Wait, babe…" Riley said out of confusion as Zane turned the car off and opened the door "this is a highway." Zane smiled smugly and shrugged his shoulders.

"I know."

"So…wha-"

"Up for a walk?" Riley narrowed his eyes suspiciously toward the driver's seat as Zane got out of the car and headed for the trunk. After sitting in confusion for a few moments Riley followed.

"So, where are we going exactly?" Riley asked.

"Just trust me."

"I do." Riley said defensively as Zane led him through an abandoned wooded area "I just like knowing where I'm going." Zane turned his head to give Riley an irritated look before rolling his eyes and laughing at his whining.

"Riley, I'm not gonna walk you over a cliff."

"I know that."

"Then stop acting like a first grader and let's go."

"I'm not acting like a –" Riley stopped himself short and sighed when he realized that this short spat was the prequel to an argument. Silly fights had become an inherent part of their relationship recently and Riley was just now realizing how stupid they sounded when they fought. Riley shut his mouth for the rest of the walk and walked a few steps behind Zane to keep himself from becoming too heated. He had just begun to daydream when Zane stopped abruptly, causing Riley to run into the back of him.

Riley looked up and was surprised to see blue water crashing against the shore at high tide: they had arrived at a small beach. The burnt pile of wood and surrounding logs made it obvious that others had been there before them, but the quiet nature of the beach and the fact that they were the only two people there on a Friday afternoon proved that not many people knew about it.

"Wow," Riley said as he glanced around in awe "look at this place. How come you've never told me about this before?"

"I don't know," Zane said with a shrug as he dropped his bag against a log and began to strip off his jacket. "wasn't sure if you'd be into it." Riley raised an eyebrow and smiled at the way Zane attempted to hide his pride and excitement by acting nonchalant. "Catch." Zane said as he threw a football that seemed to come out of nowhere in Riley's direction. Riley skillfully grabbed the ball with one hand, almost fumbled it, and gained control again. "Almost a turnover already?" Zane said teasingly "Jeez, you're losing your edge."

"Hey,I'm a quarterback, alright? Not a wide receiver. Go deep." Riley said as he held the football in his hand; his arm raised and prepared to throw. Zane moved back a little and waited for Riley to release the ball "Farther." Zane moved back a few more steps and waited expectantly "A little more." Zane rolled his eyes and obliged to Riley's orders. Riley finally released the ball and Zane ran to make a successful catch.

"Nice one." Zane said, slightly out of breath from the running catch he just made "Now that's impressive."

"Thanks." Riley began to jog toward Zane so that they could speak face-to-face, "I've been working out, doing drills…. Eastern's gonna have me on an intense workout schedule as soon as summer starts so I figured that I might as well get in shape now."

"Well…I can see the difference."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean you always look good but uh…" Zane squeezed Riley's bicep with one of his hands and smirked "I can definitely get used to this." Riley blushed and looked down at the ground before returning his gaze to Zane's gorgeous brown eyes.

"And I could get used to this." Riley said through a sigh as he lightly tossed the football back and forth in his hands and stared at the horizon. "Peaceful, calm-"

"Private." The sensual tone of Zane's voice caused Riley to quickly glance at him. When he saw Zane's devious smile he immediately threw the football over his shoulder and pulled Zane's body toward his.

"Well…I _have_ always wanted to have sex on the beach and uh…now that we're here."

"Whoa…"Zane said as he put his hand on Riley's chest and pushed him away "I thought you wanted to work on your throw." Riley laughed and hugged Zane toward him again and rested his forehead against his boyfriend's.

"I'd rather work on somethin' else" Riley said softly. Riley's lips kissed Zane's cheek before resting next to his ear. The warm feeling of his breath sent shivers down Zane's spine. Zane relaxed into Riley's embrace just as Riley whispered: "my tackle."

"Huh?" Riley's mouth spread into a smile as he laughed at Zane's confusion

and swiftly tackled him into the knee deep, cold water. Wanting to make up for the fact that he fell for Riley's set up, Zane put his legs between Riley's and pinned him to the sand.

"Whoo!" Zane said as he looked down at Riley innocently "you know how to put up a fight."

"I let you win," Riley fibbed. "Thank you," Riley said as he began to sit up, holding Zane close to him so that he ended up facing Riley on his lap.

"For what?"

"For…this."

"I didn't make the beach…." Riley pinched Zane on the arm and shook his head.

"I meant for bringing me here smart ass."

"You don't need to thank me…it was your idea anyway."

"Right…so…can we get back to fulfilling my fantasy?" Zane noticed the sound of a small boat in the distance and shook his head apologetically.

"As hot as that sounds can we, uh, put the breaks on that?" Riley sighed and let his face fall obviously as he removed Zane from his lap. He turned his back to Zane and crossed his legs like a five year old in timeout.

"Fine, but is there a reason why you've stiff-armed me twice in ten minutes?"

"So that you can see that," Zane said calmly as he nodded toward the ocean. But Zane's nod went unnoticed by Riley whose back was still turned out of frustration.

"See what?" Riley mumbled as he began to bite his fingernails. Zane smiled out of amusement and rested his hands on Riley's shoulders. He guided Riley's attention to the small boat that continued to ride by the shore. Riley looked up and looked back at his feet. He then did a double take as he noticed a sign blowing through the wind that read:

_PROM?_

Riley's mouth dropped as he looked between Zane and the boat numerous times.

"You've gotta be kidding me…" he mumbled, unsure if he should feel wooed or pissed that he didn't think of it first.

"I know it's…it's kind of much," Zane said, slightly embarrassed. Riley's eyes remained glued to the motorboat that was still a ways off shore. His silence made Zane nervous and caused him to babble. "But…what do you say? I know the time you've spent with my dad hasn't been the best and I really should've been honest with you about school and I'm really sorry. But hopefully you can look past all that and …be my date to prom…please?" Riley's silence made Zane scoot through the sand so that he was sitting next to him. He tried to read Riley's facial expressions and was relieved when Riley finally spoke.

"I'm an idiot." Riley said with a sad laugh as he played with the ring on his finger and stared into the horizon.

"What do you mean?" Riley looked over at Zane and smiled to assure him that he wasn't unhappy with the surprise before he continued.

"I was-I've been planning on a way to ask you to prom for weeks and I couldn't think of anything that would be good enough and I mean now it's hopeless." A silence settled between the two boys Riley smiled to himself and lightly squeezed Zane's hand. "But I'm happy. This is definitely the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me." Zane nodded and squeezed Riley's hand in return before nudging him in the arm.

"So…are you gonna go to prom with me or what?" Zane asked with a teasing grin. Riley raised an eyebrow and pushed himself off the ground before walking toward the shore where the boat had stopped.

"Oh, I'll be your date to prom…" Riley said with a playful glare "Shoot after that, I might even put out."

"That's all a guy wants to hear." Riley pushed Zane's shoulder and ran toward the boat, looking back once to challenge Zane to a race. Zane ran after him and ran as fast as he could; partly because he was competitive by nature but mostly because he couldn't wait another second to be by Riley's side.

**Sorry for errors. Not much time to proofread anymore.**

**okay so final decision: This story will end right around their graduation which isn't too far from now. But for now there's still a little more to come. **

**Oh and I'm still pissed that Degrassi broke them up. **


	66. Not A Real Chapter but please read

I will be writing more soon =)

sorry to tease you with this post.

But I just wanna let you know that I haven't forgotten.


	67. PreProm

**I'm back y'all. I hope you still care =)**

"You know what's funny?" Riley asked through the bathroom door as he struggled to tie his bow tie.

"What's that?" Zane replied as he finished tying his own.

"I'm not really nervous…at all." Zane raised an eyebrow before frowning and undoing his tie again.

"Oh!" Zane said with a sarcastic scoff "well thanks."

"Well…I don't mean I'm not excited. I just mean… I'm really…" Riley twisted his lips in thought and eventually shrugged and said: "comfortable." Before giving his tie a final tug, Zane ran his fingers through his hair one more time and smiled at the mirror.

"Well, I've seen you puke," Zane said with a laugh as he walked toward the bathroom door. "I've seen every inch of your body, and, well, we share a bathroom-"

"Enough said…" Riley replied, slightly red from embarrassment.

"Exactly. So I'd _hope_ that you'd be comfortable with me by now." Riley inhaled while he listened to the sound of Zane's voice. He had been imagining his prom night for years. As a kid he thought he would take a girl he liked, but as he grew older, he started to have day dreams of taking pictures with the cute guy on his soccer team or slow dancing with the handsome teacher's assistant from social studies class. And in high school, he knew what he wanted, but there was a fear that he would never be able to fulfill this fantasy of his. But now he finally was. And it was with a guy that he not only liked, but also loved. He could not have imagined anything more perfect than this.

"So…" Riley said as he walked out of the bathroom, trying to get Zane's attention. Riley tugged at this sleeves a few times before asking: "Whaddya think?" Zane ran his fingers through his hair one last time as he slowly pulled his attention from the mirror in front of him. As soon as Zane saw Riley he raised his eyebrows.

"Damn." he said under his breath as he smiled at his boyfriend.

"Yeah?" Riley said as he bit his lip shyly and blushed.

"I mean…" Zane said quickly as he straightened up and cleared his throat "you look very handsome." Riley laughed and ran his hand through his freshly cut hair. He looked Zane up and down and shook his head at a loss for words.

"And you look…handsome too." Zane could see Riley insecurely running his hand over his head and smiled.

"I like your hair."

"You don't think it's too short?"

"Not at all. It's perfect." Riley held Zane's gaze for a moment before quickly looking away and grabbing the car keys that sat on the dresser.

Riley nodded as Zane walked to the corner of the room to put on his jacket. He helped Zane fit his arms into his tux jacket as he made a revelation: "I think we're, like the only couple that's getting ready for prom together."

Zane sighed sadly when he recognized the slight disappointment in Riley's voice. But at the same time, it was just more proof that Riley was way more old fashioned and romantic than he'd ever let on.

"Well," Zane began with a smile as Riley continued to help him straighten his tux jacket from behind him "considering we live in the same house I can't really pick you up at your doorstep."

"Hm, I don't know. My mom's been making a lot of progress lately."

"Really? What kind of progress?"

"She's kind of pretty much okay with the gay now. And it really helps that she likes you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. She asks about you. Last time she even said you were a 'keeper'."

"Wow. That _is_ progress."

"Yeah," Riley said softly as he gave Zane's shoulder a final brush. "Ready to go?" he asked as he held out his hand for Zane to grab in return.

"If you think we can dodge my mom. She gets pretty camera happy."

The boys had almost made it to the door when Zane's mom ran out of her room with her hair down and her suit jacket off. They knew by the sight of her that she was determined to have her way.

Mrs. Park took a few candids, which were more like sneak attack pictures that she had taken as they tried to escape through the front door. She then asked them to stand next to each other, then arm and arm. When she asked them to stand in the traditional hands around the waist prom pose they had to refuse.

Riley could not help but feel uneasy during every single one of the pictures as he watched Mr. Park peer at him through his bedroom doorway. But, after a few more rushed pictures, Riley could have sworn that he caught a joking eye roll and even an understanding smirk from Mr. Park. But he quickly blamed it on his imagination.

"Okay!" Zane finally said as they posed for the fifth 'last picture' that his mom wanted to take. Zane pulled the camera from his mom's hands before leaving a kiss on her forehead and opening the front door. "We're leaving."

"Have fun sweetie." Mrs. Park said after Zane as he walked through the door. She grabbed Riley by the arm and gave him an expecting eye raise. He leaned his face downward, toward hers, so that she could kiss his cheek. As he paused, waiting to feel Mrs. Park's lips, he lifted his eyes, only to make contact with Mr. Park's deep stare. Riley was about to look away, as he usually did, when he saw something so outrageous and unexpected that he couldn't believe that he had not imagined it: Zane's father had winked at him, and smiled.

Riley could not even process the fact that Mr. Park had actually demonstrated any gentleness towards him. It wasn't until Mrs. Park grabbed Riley by the shoulders and pushed him out the door that he realized he had been frozen in shock. Riley turned to give the Parks one last smile, but they had already closed the door.

"Yo!" Riley looked down the hall to see his gorgeous boyfriend calling for him at the other end, causing him to smile to himself and laugh.

As Riley walked down the hallway, he had a cheery hop in his step and a great feeling about tonight.


	68. A message to my reader(s)

A reader contacted me through message and told me they wanted me to continue the story. This story is now two years old and I will soon be entering my second year of university. However, I always told myself that I would write forever if I knew I had at least one person to appreciate it.

A new chapter will be coming soon.


	69. Trouble in Paradise

**Hey readers! I'll be updating the story with a few chapters that I had written a couple of years ago that I never posted. Enjoy! Also, I saw that a couple of people wrote reviews. But if you're still reading and haven't written a review yet, post one! I just would like to see how many of y'all are still out there. If it's just two, that's fine!**

On the way to Anya's, Riley's apprehension hadn't yet died down, Instead it had inflated and he was practically jumping out of his seat. The night that he had been waiting for was finally here.

"You know," Riley said, flashing a smile that distracted Zane from the road "prom's pretty cool, but I'm not gonna lie the after party is what's got me pumped."

"Aw yeah!" Zane gushed with an equally distracting smile "I'm so psyched to just let loose."

"Same…" A call caused Riley's phone to vibrate, drawing him back to the outside world that he was having so much fun avoiding. He was going to ignore the call before he saw that it was Peter. "Peter!" he shouted into the phone as he rested his feet against Zane's dashboard. "What's up, man?"

"Hey Riley-"

"You excited for tonight?" Riley turned up the radio and rolled the windows down. He was so overwhelmed by excitement that he didn't even notice that Peter's voice was shaking slightly.

"Uh…yeah, yeah-" Peter answered wearily.

"Listen, thanks again for taking Anya to prom."

"Uh, Riley?"

"She told me not to tell you this but, whatever: she's really excited to be going with you." This time there was a ten second long silence on the other end of the phone followed by a frighteningly lengthy sigh that Riley was too distracted to catch.

"Um…alright" Peter began, "so about that…" Riley looked at Zane and smiled at how cute he looked in the drivers seat. When Zane caught his boyfriend staring, Riley gazed at him playfully, biting his lip. Zane let out a breathy laugh at his boyfriend's goofy facial expression and squeezed his knee before continuing to drive. "So…I'm really sorry." Peter stated.

"Sorry about what?"

"What? Dude we-were you even _listening_ to me?" At a red light, Riley became distracted again when Zane responded to his boyfriend's flirtatious mood by running his hand up Riley's leg and smiling seductively. A chill went down Riley's spine, as Zane continued to focus on the road and act like he was doing nothing at all. It was Zane's innocent yet devilish demeanor that could make Riley hard without so much but a single touch

"Uh huh…" Riley responded, completely distracted. Peter continued to talk after that and Riley didn't even pretend to pay attention. Zane was mouthing something to him now, and all Riley could focus on was the shape of his boyfriend's mouth as he tried to make sense of Zane's silent words.

"I" was the first word that Riley could make out from Zane's lips, "_want_…"

"Riley!" Peter screamed into the phone causing Riley to jump in his seat.

"What?!" Riley screamed back. Zane looked at Riley out of confusion before realizing that he was still on the phone with someone else and returning his attention to the road.

"Do you even care at all?" Peter cried desperately into the phone.

"Care about _what_?"

"I can't go!"

"…to _what_?"

"To the fucking prom!" The car seemed to come to a sudden stop as soon as Peter had uttered the words, as if somehow Zane could sense exactly what was going on. Riley could feel his heart stop and his head began to go through so many panicked thoughts at once that it seemed as if he wasn't thinking anything at all. Peter was still talking in the background, but Riley was so lightheaded that the talking sounded like muffled gibberish.

"What?"

"My mom was all: 'Peter you need to visit your family in Regina. Your Aunt Clare is sick' and she said that like a half hour ago and I'm supposed to be packed right about…now."

"_What_? No…"

"I know! I've never even met my Aunt Clare." Peter paused in thought before continuing "Well, wait she sent me five dollars for my birthday once but it was my 17th birthday. Who sends a kid five bucks for their 17th birthday?" Riley had his hands over his eyes now and he was slumped in the seat. Zane's hand lightly massaging his back did nothing but make him even more emotional. "Dude…I have to do what she says. Ever since the meth, the incident at camp with Darcy…my pretty awful reputation at university…I can't just take the night off. I'm on perfect son duty 24-7."

"Can't you just…tell her what's going on?" Riley said lowering his voice, not wanting to worry Zane "She knows Anya." Peter huffed and let out a few curse words before rushing off the phone.

"You know what I'll just…I'll figure something out." Riley sat up in the seat and suddenly became very aware of the seriousness of the situation at hand. This one thing could ruin Anya's entire night and it would be Riley's fault.

"Peter if you mess this up for her-" Riley warned.

"I won't! Just…I'll get back to you." There was a click on the other end of the phone. Peter had hung up and left Riley there to pick up the mess on his own. Riley felt betrayed and utterly helpless. Zane could see that his boyfriend was close to tears and he took off his seatbelt to face him. It was only then that Riley realized that they had come to a stop and that they were in front of Anya's house.

"What happened?" Zane asked softly, careful not to sound too concerned in order to keep Riley from becoming even more apprehensive "Everything ok?"

"Peter can't make it." Riley mumbled.

"Sorry, what's that?"

"Peter isn't coming."

"Like….to pre-prom? So he's meeting us there." Zane's words were more of a statement than a question. Whenever Zane was upset his questions sounded like threats.

"No, Zane." Riley said with a sigh "He's not coming." Riley moved his hands away from his face "He's not coming at all."

"You're kidding. And he cancelled just now? Just like that?"

"Yep."

"How about I take one for the team." Zane said as he looked around the driveway, as if he were afraid that Anya would come out of nowhere and hear their conversation "If things don't work out I'll be Anya's 'date'."

"I feel like that would just make things even worse. Plus, this is our night. We're not gonna get another prom. Peter said he's got it covered. We're just gonna have to trust him." Zane breathed in and then exhaled. It was funny how Riley was the one calming him down for a change. Zane had always been the calm and mature one in all of his relationships, both romantic and platonic. Now that he had Riley, he didn't have to be brave all of the time. He could finally be a teenager for once.

Zane ran his fingers through Riley's hair and touched his forehead to his.

"I trust you," Zane said softly "…but I don't trust Peter". Zane and Riley laughed before getting out of the car and heading towards the door. They were ready to face the eye of the storm.


End file.
